Head and Heart
by ClemencePoesy77
Summary: "Well, I'm not asking you to say anything, Evans," James retorted, apparently oblivious to their potential audience, "I just quickly wanted to talk about-" Lily held up a warning hand and hissed, "I'm not talking with you about *that*!" ***A classic tale of Jily***
1. Stupid Head

Lily Evans sat at the far end of the Gryffindor table and stared at him. She was trying to think of the exact moment she had realized her nuclear error, sometime earlier this year, when it had become evident that she was no longer in control of the thoughts running rampage in her own head. In fact, they were in control of her. It was suffocating. Every time she tried to regain independence, her head denied her pleas easily (not even to her surprise really, as it had a habit of being stubborn, just usually not against its owner) and let her sink deeper into the black hole that drew in everything in and out of sight. Admittance hadn't been easy. At first, she thought herself ill and confused, perhaps even cursed, but a self-brewed antidote for love potion had not tasted nearly as bitter as the revelation she had to admit to subsequently. Because, as it were, her head was completely obsessed with James Potter.

"OI, WORMTAIL, would you rather eat my snot after I've coughed up pumpkin juice out of my nose _or_ get sorted into Hufflepuff?"

She had a disease.

"I'm not sure you can constitute the act as eating after you've snorted pumpkin juice…"

"So let me get this straight Padfoot, the issue here is that you'd rather drink snot than eat it."

"If I were given the choice between cutlery and a straw, I believe I'd go full aqueduct."

 _It must have been Christmas._

* * *

Just before break, the Marauders had bewitched the Great Hall so that the snow, which could be seen falling through the ceiling for the past few weeks, fell further down and halted only just before grazing the heads of Hogwart's cheerful students, with the occasional snowflake landing on a nose before melting away. The floor had been enchanted into a gigantic ice skating rink and the students had had difficulties in reaching their respective house tables for breakfast, but eventually had gotten used to sliding to their seats more or less gracefully. Lily had been so preoccupied with _Charms for the Charmed_ (a book she had sworn to save for Christmas Break, but had already been halfway through by midday) that she had only noticed the change by the time she had been under the arc of the entrance to the Great Hall. She had slowly raised her eyes up from the pages to open her mouth in surprise at the ridiculous beauty that awaited her. Potter had been in the motion of fashioning a snowball by means of standing on the Gryffindor table and raising his hands above his head into the white whirling commotion just when he had spotted her across the hall and he had grinned widely, yet unsure.

"EVANS! I hope you don't mind a little holiday cheer?" he had yelled across the hall.

No one else had noticed his shouts, as everyone had been pre-occupied with slipping and sliding and laughing along the tables. Remus Lupin had been chasing Sirius Black along the Ravenclaw benches, the back of his neck covered in what looked like the remnants of a quite large snow ball. Black now slid along under the tables on his belly.

"How… what… _when_?" was all that had come out of Lily's mouth before she had burst into a short laugh at Frank Longbottom and Alice Prewitt dancing and sliding an emotional yet clumsy tango to her left, Frank with his wand in his mouth imitating a rose.

Grinning even wider, James Potter had stepped from the table and slid towards her gracefully, wearing a dark blue wool knit sweater with a large yellow circle on it. He had been rather handsome, the sweater bringing out the eyes that had watched her full of joy and the hat of snow that sat upon his messy black head of hair. Lily had cautiously stepped onto the ice-covered floor of the Great Hall, with her book under her arm and had attempted to motion Potter's smooth movements as he skated towards her. All of the sudden, he had mimicked the alarmed expression she had worn as her eyes grew wide and her mouth formed an "O" as she had speeded along the floor faster than she had intended to.

"Evans! Slow down! Try to steady yourself… no, try putting your toes together… No! Like this… no, see you have to...OOF!" She had miserably come crashing into him with her sad excuse for coordination, but his God-given Quidditch reflexes had acted fast and turned her around during their fall so that she had toppled down on top of him.

"Argh! Oh. Sorry, Potter! I hit you like a whale hits a seagull didn't I!?"

"Not quite as-" Lily had quickly tried to sit up before slipping again and crashing onto his large frame anew.

"Argh, sorry! I don't know what's wrong with me, I just can't seem to steady- Is that… is that a _snitch_ on your jumper?" she had asked incredulously before she could help herself.

"Erm, well, my-"

"Wow, Potter, way to play it down."

"Well, actually-"

"I mean, if it weren't for the wings on the sides' one could assume it's just a picture of your head by the size of it, couldn't one?"

"My mum."

"Huh?"

"My mum knit it," James Potter had said awkwardly through gritted teeth as he showed great interest for a spot about two inches to the left of her head. Lily finally had successfully adjusted herself to sit on her knees and had instantly felt regret for the inconsiderate things she had just said to him.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn'-"

"That's okay. She knits one every year, but I never wore 'em before 'cause… erm… Obvious reasons?" he had smiled at her, his eyes twinkling as he sat up as well.

"Oh!"

"Yeah, but you know I figure, you never know how long anything will last, especially with everything that's happening outside of Hogwarts and with this already being our 6th year and all-"

"No, I totally get it, you don't have to explain! Sorry for being… I actually kind of like it, super fuzzy," at that moment she had become very aware of the hand patting the snitch's tummy, wait _Potter's_ tummy, a hand that was in fact her own, and had pulled back quickly.

"Hah, yeah totally fuzzy, I'm telling you, I would wear only this and the socks that go with it if it weren't for school rules and everything," now he had become very conscious of what he was saying and turned a shade of beet while he had pulled her up to stand on the slippery ground.

"Right, well…," she had said embarrassed while still a bit wobbly on her feet.

"Erm… so you like it, eh?"

"Wha-"

"The hall! I meant the hall! Do you like what we've done with the Great Hall?"

"Oh! Oh yes, I LOVE it! Very festive, and… is that a snowman that looks like Peter or is Peter inside that snowman?" James turned around to discover what she was looking at. "You have to tell me what kind of charms you used to transform the ceiling like this. You must've figured out how the ceiling itself is enchanted! That is some seriously tricky magic. I really want a ceiling like that in my bedroom at home," he had smiled at her, surprised at her babbling away as she beamed up at him.

"Oh, I wish I could, top secret Marauder business you know," he had winked at her mischievously.

"What? Do you have some kind of contract with the Hogwarts' founders that you're sworn to secrecy?" she asked sarcastically, but he kept smiling at her.

"Something like that."

"Well then, if that's truly the case, I guess you'll just have to enchant my bedroom _for_ me-"

"Absolutely."

Now Lily had been the one turning a vicious scarlet as she realized that she had just asked James Potter to her bedroom to _enchant_ it of all things and he had instantly agreed. Apparently Potter had realized the conundrum as well and had opted for quickly changing the subject.

"Well, I hope your Christmas will be alright, Evans," he had said kindly while he had turned away to slide back to the Gryffindor table and she had just stood there watching his broad shoulders while in deep thought over what had just happened.

* * *

 _Yes, it had probably been Christmas when her head had first deceived her._


	2. Pumpkin-flavoured Snot

_Yes, it had probably been Christmas when her head had first deceived her._

* * *

"Wormtail agrees with Padfoot and chooses Prong's pumpkin-flavoured snot"- Lily was whipped out of her daze and quickly set her hands, one clutching a knife that held a piece of butter, the other a slice of toast, down from their awkward hovering position in the air near her face.

"Pete, how many times do I have to tell you, you don't have to say everything in map-mode," James responded slightly irritated, filling up his cup with the jug of pumpkin juice that had surely given him the inspiration for his earlier inquiry of would-you-rather. Lily's emerald eyes slowly followed his hands, as one firmly held onto the golden handle, the other securing the small cup, while the liquid poured smoothly, steadily from one container to the next.

"Can I pour you some, Evans?" James Potter, retracing her gaze, asked in a confused tone. Lily's cheeks flushed as she quickly grabbed Marlene's cup, her own untouched and full to the brim with pumpkin juice.

"Um, yeah, sure!" she extended her arm over the table to hand him the goblet, throwing prayers at the enchanted ceiling so that he would not notice the occupied cup in front of her.

"Excuse me young lady," Marlene suddenly turned her body away from her conversation with Dorcas about who they would turn into for a day if they mastered the Polyjuice Potion recipe and towards Lily, "but did you just _steal_ my cup?"

"What?" Lily eyes pleaded with the raven-haired girl who did not seem to notice. The object of Lily's undesired affection looked up confusedly as he poured the orange liquid into the supplied cup.

"That's very _un_ prefect-like behaviour if you ask me Ms. Evans," Marlene tutted with false sternness, a twinkle in her eye, "and, if I may ask, is that your own goblet sitting right in front of you? Is it not good enough for your perfect prefect lips so that you had to kidnap mine?"

James eyes wandered to Lily's filled cup as she nervously mouthed for Marlene to shut up through gritted teeth. Marlene finally caught on as she glanced from her own cup in Potter's hand to Lily's filled one. Her eyes widened.

"Ohh..."

"What?" James inquired uncertainly and stopped pouring mid-air.

"Shut it, Pothead, and pour the lady a drink," Marlene dismissed him while she scooped up Lily's cup and loudly said, "sorry about that, Lils, totally forgot we traded places earlier, thanks for guarding my cup. You're a champ!" Marlene smiled sweetly at the slightly shaken Lily and didn't fail to wink at her before turning back to Dorcas cheerfully, muttering something under her breath that sounded a lot like, "Hopeless".

"Erm, here you go, Evans," Lily's eyes focused on the golden cup in front of her face attached to Potter's extended arm.

"Parched," she breathed out.

"Uh, what now?"

"I'm parched, Potter! What I'm trying to say is that my throat resembles that of a Hungarian Horntail's, seriously needed this, thanks a bunch. You really saved me. I mean my throat. I- Speaking of dragons, I've gotta go," she clumsily stood up, disregarding her unbuttered toast and made off to leave. Potter was now thoroughly confused as he watched the redhead sling her bag over her shoulders.

"Lily, where are you going?" Marlene now focused her attention back on her friend.

"I've got my Magical Creatures exam," Lily stated slightly blank.

"Yes, bean, we all do," Marlene explained to her like she was talking to a three you old who's parents she was trying convince into hiring her as a babysitter. Lily's eyes focused on her.

"Well I'm tired of being late and I've got to set an example for the younger students," Lily affirmed as she made off to leave, then turned back to the table, brightly chattered, "almost forgot this," while leaning over the Gryffindor table to clutch Marlene's newly filled cup and stormed out of the Great Hall.

"She's lost it," Marlene observed cheerfully and watched her friend steer out of the hall with cup in hand, splashing juice onto first year students.

 _I'm losing it_ , Lily thought, angry at her heart that wouldn't stop pounding and her head that brought back Potter's confused facial expression that had made his face look all scrunched up and cute. She only now noticed that she had walked outside, apparently subconsciously truly on her way to Magical Creatures, and the warm sun that marked the beginning of a very hot summer's day blinded her. As she held up her hand to function as a shield for her eyes, Lily relaxed and took in the beauty that stretched out in front of her. Only a couple students had chosen to proceed their studying on the plush green lawn in exchange of the stuffy library while the warm wind swished through the Forbidden Forest and the Giant Squid stretched three of his tentacles in the morning air. Even the Whomping Willow didn't bother with causing havoc on a day like today and let a silver tabby cat stretch on one of its broad branches to celebrate the tranquillity of it all. Lily smiled to herself as she took a sip from her goblet to enjoy the cool sweet juice while she walked over to her favourite tree and took a seat underneath it.

As she leaned her back against the trunk and stretched her legs, Lily closed her eyes. Memories came back from that regretful day that had taken place under this one tree and she felt a squirming sensation as she wished she could take it all back. But Lily had admitted it to herself a long time ago; that there really was nothing left to retrieve from the ashes and her friend had become far less than a foe, he was now almost nonexistent in her life.

"It's not your fault," she muttered as she lovingly patted the tree behind her, her eyes still closed. It was the one thing Lily couldn't understand; how her head went from hating Potter's guts with a passion it usually saved for potion making to parading him around in her thoughts on his own little pedestal. Which he didn't even need at his height, Lily thought miserably, and debated if Potter's head added ten or twenty inches. What had made her steer into this mess she was in now?

 _Maybe it had happened on Halloween after all?_

* * *

It had been the evening after the Quidditch game, Ravenclaw against Gryffindor, when Lily had gone on prefect's rounds by herself because Remus had been too preoccupied with joining in the Gryffindor Halloween rager that was hosted by the winning team's house. She hadn't been upset with him really. Her roommates had also attempted to convince her to ditch rounds and even though she loved Halloween, she didn't like the beginnings of parties that commenced after Gryffindor won a game. It was just a little too patriotic to handle and had more of a psychotic mob vibe of self obsession, red and gold red and gold! She couldn't handle it. Maybe she was too flower power, or whatever her parents called it, for her own good. Lily rather felt sad at the sight of crushed first years walking back to their respective common rooms with hanging heads and bright face paint when their team lost. It would feel strange to her to bask in a glory she did not even take part in creating. But ultimately she liked a good party, especially on Halloween, and she would join in later, she had told herself.

Lily had walked along a hallway on the third floor near the Transfiguration classroom with her arm held up high to scatter the light of her _Lumos_ charm wide. She hadn't thought this whole patrolling alone act through properly and had suddenly found it all rather creepy, feeling as if someone was watching her in the abandoned corridor.

"Hello?" she had wished her voice hadn't quivered quite as much as she proceeded along slowly and had asked firmer, "Is someone there?"

As she had turned around a corner, her spell had cast a shadow on a dark figure.

"Who's there? Reveal yourself! _Homenum Revelio_ ," she had cast the spell and to her astonishment, Severus Snape had stood in front of her.

"Lily. You shouldn't be here," he had said flatly, making her instantly hate him all over again.

" _I_ shouldn't be here? Thanks for the input, really, but you do realize that I'm on rounds right? Meaning _you're_ not on duty. Meaning _you're_ out after curfew."

"And here I thought you didn't care about what I did anymore," Snape had sneered evilly at her.

"Oh zip it, Snivelly. Just pack up whatever shady things you were about to get into, in the dark, past ten at night, and get on out of here," she had kind of enjoyed the way his facial expression had gotten more and more annoyed at her as she had used her new favourite nickname on him.

"Somehow you never seem to mind _Potter_ staying out late," he had spat at her like it was an insult.

"What? Where is this even coming from!? Seriously Sev, get on going before I report you to Slughorn. I'm serious, I will!" he hadn't budged and had kept his black eyes on her. It had been the last straw for her, to simply be ignored by this chauvinistic idiot she had told all her secrets and fears to as a kid. "You know Sev, I always knew you couldn't fly a broom for the life of you when you said that Quidditch was a sport for lowly imps, but I really didn't think that you were impaired in all forms of mobility. _Get. Going._ "- Lily had whipped herself around as she had suddenly heard what seemed like a stifled snort from behind her, but had only stared into an empty corridor. She had quickly turned back to face Severus again. Only he hadn't been alone anymore. Two wardrobe-sized Slytherin seventh year's had stood to either side of him.

"Funny seeing you here all alone, mudblood," one of them had snarled at her.

"Did you come out to play, little mudblood? You little thief, you know you're making me awfully angry wearing that shiny badge you stole from a true wizard," blood had rushed to Lily's head as she had fumed at the three bullies in front of her.

"Uh-huh, I hear you and everything, good points, both of you, excellent, but- GO TO YOUR DORMS _NOW_!" she had bellowed, wand raised high, and all of the sudden the two seventh years had looked uncertain and Snape had worn a furious expression, but all three had swiftly turned on their spots and had headed off in the direction of the dungeons. Lily had been awfully pleased with herself.

"See that giiirl, watch that sceeeene," she had begun singing her anthem, snapping her fingers and throwing kisses and winks to a made up crowd.

"Evans?"-Lily had whipped around. James Potter had stood in front of her.

"Potter! You almost gave me a heart attack! How long have you been standing there?" she had asked frantically.

"Oh not long Evans, just turned the corner. What are you doing out here all by yourself?" he had been unusually stern with her.

"What am I doing... Oh! I'm on rounds, actually. Which in turn begs the question, Potter, what are _you_ doing out here past curfew?" she had inquired forcefully in the hopes that her authority was still intact.

"Just heading to the kitchens, actually," he had casually said, unfazed by her demanding presence.

"Oh. Don't you have a victory to celebrate?" she couldn't help herself asking.

"Ah that, well, I've been gone for the past thirty minutes and it seems no one's noticed, right, bloody idiots don't even know why they're drinking their brains out anymore, so I doubt I'll get imperiused if I cruise to the kitchens for a bit," he had just smiled at her.

"Yes, I totally get that," she had found herself confiding in him instantly, "I always feel like no one knows who actually won the game afterwards, they only remember who lost and can be super cruel to the students that belong to that house. I was told explicitly not to invite any Ravenclaws tonight! They didn't do anything wrong, did they? Wait, did you say you've been out for half an hour? Since when have you been standing there Potter?!" He had raised his eyebrows a little.

"Wanna come?"

"Excuse me?"

"Kitchens," he had winked at her as she had blushed.

"Oh! Um... yeah, okay," she had felt rather hungry after the whole Snape ordeal.

James had stepped past her to lead the way and after a few dumbstruck seconds she had to rush to keep up.

"So I heard you have to kiss the grapes to get in," she had asked and James had barked with laughter as they had hopped down the steps together.

"Yeah let's try that and see what happens, Evans," he had grinned widely as he had started humming the melody to "Dancing Queen" and she had forcefully swatted his arm as she couldn't help herself from giggling.

* * *

 _Yes, maybe she had already known by Halloween after all._


	3. The Black Lake and the Tree

_Yes, maybe she had already known by Halloween after all._

* * *

Lily still had her eyes closed as she sighed and slid down slowly along the tree trunk to lay her back on the soft ground. She had to smile as her face escaped the shade and the sunlight hit her face. The world looked yellow and red and warm through her closed lids and Lily decided that she did not care all that much for magical creatures after all, so would it really be all that bad if she lay here forever and flunked the exam? The redhead scrunched her nose as the warmth escaped her forehead and nose due to a beyond annoying cast of a shadow. She opened her eyes to Marlene standing over her.

"Didn't quite make it to location, did we?" Marlene smirked and wriggled her eyebrows knowingly, "I know you love that tree Lils, but when it's getting to the point that you'd rather spend time with flora over friends... I'm just not sure it's the best thing for either of you. You, nor the tree." Lily couldn't help herself smile up at her long-legged friend. She rolled on her tummy and made to get up whilst trying to not flash the student body strolling along the school grounds.

"What can I say, it's there for me, even when no-one else is," Lily sighed dramatically.

"Woman, what do you think I'm here for?" Marlene shoved her elbow into Lily's side.

"Well, sometimes you're not available!"

"What time's that exactly?"

"Ancient Runes...," Lily started counting on her thumb.

"Well, I'm sorry; you didn't have to ditch the class! What are you taking Muggle Studies for anyway? Just spend some time in front of a mirror-"

"Quidditch practice...," Lily continued in tapping her index finger.

"Okay, a little more exercise would do you some good as well. You can't fault me for wanting to give these bones a shake every once in a while, can you? I could suggest you join the team, but your reflexes are shit-"

"Hey! Don't pretend like I lie around all day, I've been swimming laps in the Black Lake every other morning since May," Lily huffed, flexing her arms at Marlene.

"Uh, I _know_ that you do so, and you know why? Since for some strange reason we've been starting Quidditch practice at 6:30 in the morning, four days a week, since, wait, when was it? Oh yeah, _May_!" Marlene flexed her own arm to put Lily's to shame.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Lily rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, like you don't know what that's about," Marlene smirked.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Seriously Marlene, so you started to train a little harder around the time I started going swimming. Exercise in the morning is good for you, it gets you focused for the classes you have later."

"Yes, I'm sure Potter scheduled the training at that exact time with the pure concern for our academic performance. Lily, we don't even have a game coming up anymore, we've won the cup two months ago," Marlene laughed at her friend's innocent expression.

"But, it's probably good to get in some extra practice before the summer break, isn't it? I'm sure Po-, I'm sure he didn't schedule it for the reason that I-, well that's just ridiculous. That's over with. He's _dating_ Alexa Johnson, mind you. And she's excellent! She's just so friendly, she's on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team _and_ she's the sixth year Prefect; I'm pretty sure she's going to be Head Girl next year, and have you heard she wants to be a Healer? How nice is that," Marlene watched her friend ramble on exclusive facts about Alexa Johnson and suddenly wrapped her arms tightly around Lily's small frame. Lily stopped mid-sentence, stiff at first at the unexpected closeness of her black-haired friend, but soon relaxing and resting her head against Marlene's.

"Just tell him," Marlene nudged her head against Lily's, who dug her face into her palms. They came closer to the group of students waiting at the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest to take their exam.

A muffled "can't" was all Marlene could make out from in between fingers and thick auburn hair.

"Yeah yeah... Well, at least you're letting your body do some talkin'," Marlene snickered as Lily's head shot up.

" _What?_ What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Oh nothing... just, you know, I really like your new golden bathing suit," Marlene started full out laughing as Lily's jaw dropped and her head turned beet red, "Where'd you get it? A shop called 'Swimwear for Veelas' or 'Suits for your Suitor?'"

"Marlene! That is a perfectly normal swim suit. It's not too revealing or anything! Is it!?" Lily clasped her hands to the sides of her face in hesitant terror.

"Of course it's not too revealing! If you ask me, you could show a little more," Marlene winked, "Kidding! But a golden bathing suit, Lils? It's just mean, those poor boys on the Gryffindor team! Gordon constantly flies off towards the lake because he claims he saw the snitch. And it seems like Potter's awfully interested in the Seeker position himself these days." Lily swatted Marlene's arm and groaned something into her hands about her mother purchasing the bathing suit for her at a Harrods sale during Christmas break. By now, the two Gryffindor girls had reached the group of nervous students in their year, all waiting to take the dreaded exam.

"Still, Lils. You've got to tell him. You're going to explode if you keep this inside for much longer," Marlene stated plainly like there really wasn't anything more to it.

"Tell him what?" a loud singsong voice asked nosily and the two girls winced and turned around. Dorcas had raised the attention of half the class with her interrogative outburst. Marlene rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in front of her chest while Lily reinstated her terrified expression.

"Hi Dorc," Marlene snapped and Dorcas was instantly annoyed at the use of her old nickname, "Don't you have anything going on in your own life at all to preoccupy that brain of yours? Do you have to listen in on other people's conversations that are _none of your business_?" Marlene had spoken so loudly that by now the entire class focused their attention on the quarrel. Marlene, trying to defuse the situation, quickly joked, "Well if you must know, we were just talking about Lily's hopeless crush on her favourite tree. You know the dreamy one by the lake?"

"Huh?" Dorcas asked, now entirely confused. Lily's eyes pleaded at Marlene to stop talking. She tended to avoid this kind of attention. Marlene, however, once again didn't seem to notice her friend's frantic gist and continued her produced tale. Marlene was of the opinion that more words always aided a situation rather than harm it.

"Yes, didn't you know? She's been trying to get him to go out with her for years, but he just won't budge. Won't even lend her a branch! I'm sure you know the feeling, Dorky," the group of students, including the four boys lingering close to the forest, started sniggering.

"Didn't know you were into that kind of wood, Evans," Sirius Black was the first to comment, forcefully trying not to crack a grin. Marlene and Lily whipped around and stared at him furiously, but before either of them could retort for him to shut up, another voice rose.

"Yeah, won't it hurt the poor guy when you carve out your initials right on his back?" some students started snorting at Potter's innocent inquiry.

"Completely right Jamesie, so many difficulties arise. I mean... you'd have to hack him off at the stump to take him to Puddifudge's. What a gruesome date is that?" Black mused.

"Well, she'd have to cut down a new one every night," Potter explained to him while giggles erupted around them.

"Ohh, that's why they call it Forbidden Forest! But every tree is different, right. How do you go about finding that one perfect timber to spend your life- wait- the night with? D'you reckon one could put out an add?"

"Lonely flower seeks strong tree to lean on," by now the enitre class was holding their sides laughing. Lily fumed and stomped up to Potter.

"Thank you for that, Potter," she spat, "d'you think you could continue this mockery at someone else's expense? Better yet- _not at all_?"

"Careful, Prongs, she'll cut you off at the roots," Black barked with laughter as he wiped a tear from his left eye.

"Oh, c'mon Evans, no harm no foul, eh. OI!" James jumped as a Stinging Hex pricked the back of his right hand, "by Merlin's beard Evans, we're about to take an exam, could you not amputate my wand hand?"

"Is that what she calls it?" Remus tried to diffuse the situation and the surrounding students roared while James rolled his eyes at the old joke.

"Why don't you ask your m-"

"Alright class, please follow me to your exam site," Prof. Kettleburn had suddenly appeared and interrupted the group excitedly under the joyous expectation of handing out a few Trolls today.

The band of 25 students from all four houses (a _lot_ of students had chosen another elective or dropped out after the first rounds of dismal grades) followed their Professor in a silent single file. James Potter was rubbing his still reddened hand, but grinned as he turned around to quickly glance at the pretty redhead striding a few students behind him. Her emerald eyes caught his for just a moment and she couldn't hide her own grin from him, so she quickly looked away with pink cheeks and sparkling eyes.


	4. Black Eyeliner

In the end, Lily had a pretty good feeling about the exam. Prof. Kettleburn had handed out one magical creature out of large wooden crates per group of three and Lily, Marlene and Dorcas (who was still rather 'huffy' with her house mates) accepted what seemed like a large fluffy black mole. The class was asked to sketch their respective creatures along with naming bodily parts and characteristics.

"Whoever completes the exam prior to the sixty minute mark, may receive bonus points for elaborating on one method to capture their animal," Kettleburn had announced like he was letting them all in on some big fun secret and while the rest of the class groaned, Lily had brightly started scribbling down on her exam paper as the fluffy creature forcefully knocked down Marlene to start gnawing on the golden chain with the Quaffel pendant around her neck.

"Last exam of the year!" Dorcas exclaimed excitedly while she high-fived Lily. Marlene flung her hair over her shoulder, clearly annoyed.

"Maybe for you, but some of us still have Ancient Runes in the afternoon to get through," she retorted viscously, as if no one had ever had dared to make such an insensitive remark in her presence before.

"Yeah, not us though," Lily flashed Marlene a winning smile and started swirling around with Dorcas in a happy dance.

"Also, you kind of deserve that exam after the way you treated me earlier," Dorcas added pointedly as she turned Lily.

"Yeah yeah, I'm sorry about that okay, I just got emotional you know," Marlene actually did look sorry.

"Are we gonna see some of those moves tonight?" a voice hollered over from a few yards back while another wolf-whistled and the girls stopped midway of doing Van McCoys "Hustle".

"Tonight? I fear we're all booked out, Black," Lily pretended to look through her calendar in distraught.

"Yeah," Dorcas joined in, "we were invited to this end-of-the-year rager by Hufflepuff, and I hear they have the best midnight snacks and muggle music."

"You would betray your own house like that, Meadowes?" Potter asked her in a mock incredulous tone while the group of boys caught up with them.

"House pride forever!" Peter squeaked nervously.

"You boys are so totalitarian sometimes," Lily rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, and coming from a bloke dating a Ravenclaw," Marlene chimed in while Lily quickly looked away.

"Hey, I'm not one to discriminate. It's what's underneath the school uniform what counts," Potter innocently justified and the Marauders barked with laughter while Marlene turned around to push him back.

"Shove it, Potter," she spat.

"OI! What is it with you ladies? You want us to embrace every last slimy Slytherin, but crack down when we actually do it," James threw his hands up to underline the predicament.

"Uh-huh, like I've seen you cosy up to soo many Slytherins lately. Seems like the only time you actually get close to one is during a match, captain."

"I love it when girls call me that," James winked at the Marauders who snickered.

"I know mate, you even like it when _I_ call you that," Remus put his arm around his friend's shoulder, "but that doesn't make it right."

"Okay, this is getting weird. I need a cram session before my next exam. See you guys later!" Marlene waved at Lily and Dorcas and stuck her tongue out at the Marauders. The group continued to stroll along in the hot summer air as Marlene skipped towards the entrance of the castle.

"So ladies, let's be serious. You're coming to the party tonight, right?" Sirius Black swiped his dark hair away from his even darker eyes and stared at them intently. Dorcas was the first to break.

"Yes, yes, we'll be there!" she exclaimed as she threaded her arm through Lily's.

"What about you, Evans," James asked casually, looking straight into Lily's eyes. Remus raised his eyebrows and searched Sirius' face intently, but he returned his gaze unfazed.

"Uh, yeah, I think I can make it," Lily averted her eyes from his mesmerizing hazel gaze and held onto Dorcas' arm with both hands.

"OK, that's settled then," Sirius broke the quiet with his loud and cheerful voice, "so let's move along then fellow mischief managers, lots to do for tonight." He smoothly picked up the pace and Remus quickly took his cue.

"Lily, Dorcas, see you at the party at the latest!" he followed Sirius swiftly and it took Peter and James a moment to notice.

"Oh, well, bye," James quickly waved and smiled at the girls and made to follow, dragging Peter along. The two girls kept strolling comfortably through their lush surroundings.

"Lils, do you know what you're gonna wear tonight?" Dorcas beamed at Lily, who still stared after the boys, intently watching Remus pull James aside and talking to him sharply.

"Hm?"

"I'm thinking of wearing my hair up," Dorcas gathered her blonde wavy locks into a bun on the top of her head and held it with her hands, "what do you think, Lils." Lily snapped into focus.

"Oh Dori, you always look beautiful, what do I know. I can't ever think of anything new for my own hair either. Maybe a headband? But I did see this cat-eye black eyeliner tutorial in this month's girly muggle magazine that I really want to try. Care to help me out? You're so good with this stuff and my hands always shake too much," Lily pleaded with her happy-faced friend.

"Like you need any more make-up to make your eyes catty," Dorcas joked, "yeah yeah, I'll help you out. Just don't make me do it on myself; you know I'm a blue mascara lifer." They walked into the castle chatting away happily about dresses and shoe colours and matching headbands. After an elaborate lunch the two headed up to their dorms and Lily tried not to think too much about the evil glare Severus had sent her way while she had her pudding.

Back in their dorm, Dorcas did a wonderful job sketching the thick black line along Lily's lashes and even Lily was caught off guard by her reflection in the mirror. She was happy that she still looked like herself in spite of her accentuated features and hopped of the stool they had set up in front of the single mirror in the 6th year girl's dormitory. Dorcas in turn sat down and started sweeping a brush across her lids with a green sparkly shade.

"So, Lilylove, who are you dolling yourself up for these days," she chatted away lightly, but her stare through the reflecting glass back at Lily was intense nonetheless.

"Don't be ridiculous," the redhead glanced away quickly, but her cheeks already started burning. She hated that it was so easy to make her blush.

"So there is someone!" Dorcas grinned widely and shut the lid of the eyeshadow closed with a snap, "Now you have to tell me." Lily quickly stood up and sorted through her closet.

"Lilyyyy," Dorcas teased as she opened her bright blue mascara, "I bet it's someone to die for, you're so picky. You never date anyone! You just go with them to Hogsmeade and come back with one less a suitor. I remember that one time we all thought that you were going out with Sniv- eh, Severus. No offense, but we were all so relieved when you cleared that up. I think Potter would have lynched him. Wouldn't have played out well in our chances at the house cup that year, eh? You know from that awkward encounter between Potter and you earlier I'd half expect something was going on, but let's face it, you'll never understand just how delicious he is." Dorcas continued in painting her lashes, but after the following silence held on for a few beats too long she stopped to glance through the mirror back at Lily. Lily stood by the closet, clutching a flowery dress and wearing an alarmed and fearful expression, like a doe that was mere seconds away from being crushed by a bulldozer. Dorcas' mouth dropped and she swirled around on the stool.

"MADE IT!" the door flung open to a frighteningly joyous Marlene who sprinted towards Lily's bed and started jumping up and down, "the exam was _so_ tough you guys, there was this question about _Ehwaz_ , and I swore I got it right on the O. exam, but I just couldn't remember it now, but anyway, I think most of it went okay-"

"Marlene, SHUT IT!" Dorcas screeched and Marlene fell silent, but the sound of the springs could still be heard as she had not halted jumping.

"Excuse me?" Marlene huffed.

"I said _shut it_ ," Dorcas held her left hand up to Marlene's face and gestured with her right hand for Lily to come towards her. The redhead didn't move.

"Uh, guys?" Marlene stopped bouncing and looked thoroughly confused. Lily held her hand to her forehead and sighed miserably.

"Marlene... I think Dori knows."

"Knows... right... knows what?"

"No," Dorcas shook her head incredulously, slowly catching on.

"About my... cauldron problem?" Lily suggested.

"Your... cauldron... wait, what?" Then something in Marlene switched gears and her mouth opened wide, "Dorcas knows?" Dorcas looked from Marlene to Lily and back and gasped.

"Lils, let me get this straight. You like James Potter?" Dorcas had walked up to her flushed friend and the two girls stood face to face.

"I don't know... I... he's just... maybe?" was all Lily could offer, chewing her lip. Marlene got off the bed and in turn speeded towards her two friends.

"See Dorcas, Lily has a hard time with this. But, to say it lightly, _like_ isn't really the term I would use. It's become an obsession," Marlene explained matter-of-factly while Lily groaned and made out to sit on her bed. Dorcas stared after Lily, her head trying to catch on.

"Lily... is into James Potter. Lily. Our friend Lily. James Potter."

"Those are the ones," Marlene gave her a two thumbs up.

"And you _knew_ about this?" Dorcas whipped around to Marlene.

"Hey," Marlene held out her hands as if to shield herself, "I just caught her continuously staring at him during History of Magic class and confronted her about it a few months back. It's Lily, Dori, d'you think she would've been okay with me blabbing to you about how she's madly in love with that boy she once loathed publicly?"

"But! Ugh... fine," Dorcas gave up, clearly frustrated, but then her face lit up and a smile spread across her face, "Marlene, does this mean..?" Marlene mimicked her glowing expression.

"That all our dreams have come true? Yup!" At that moment the two girls squealed and started dancing while hugging each other and chanting "Li-ly Pot-ter, Li-ly Pot-ter". Lily stood up from her soft bed, now completely annoyed.

"Guys, could you cut it out? This is a crisis," But her two best friends just embraced her and forcefully danced around her until Lily had to giggle and they all crashed onto her bed. As they lay on their backs panting and looking up towards the crimson ceiling of her four-poster bed, Lily's fears came back creeping in.

"We need to figure out what you're gonna wear tonight," Dorcas mused and Marlene only had the chance to yell out "nothing!" before Lily swatted a pillow into her face. But in that moment Lily was so glad to have exactly these best friends.


	5. Rager

"For how long have you known?" the three girls were now sitting cross-legged in a circle, triangle rather, on Lily's comfortable bed and Dorcas had started interrogating her best friend.

"Ooh, good question," Marlene's eyes lit up while she popped a chocolate frog in her mouth.

"Yes, that's something I've been trying to figure out as well..." Lily mused. At what point did all of Potter's annoying and idiotic tendencies become so darn endearing to her? "I used to have to stop myself from slapping that stupid snitch from his hand and now I actually catch myself from drooling all over him when he plays with that thing. I had to consciously refrain myself from saying "good save" this one time Potter did this ultra tricky move at supper time, well what do I know, and I realized it too late and it came out as 'good s-morning'."

"Oohr, I rewmember thwat," Marlene laughed loudly through her full mouth, spraying her friends with moist chocolate frog.

"Hey, watch it!" Dorcas threw a wrapping paper at her.

"Swowry," Marlene swallowed the remains down and wiped a tear from her cheek, "but I just remembered how everyone said 'good smorning' to Evans here for a week."

"Not everyone," Lily said through gritted teeth, "just a few lovely individuals. You included, McKinnon. Is that Beedle the Bard?" Lily picked up Marlene's abandoned chocolate frog card and admired it.

"You don't have that one yet?" Marlene asked incredulously as Lily shook her head, "keep it! I've got three. Well, my brother does. I decided collecting cards is not a lady's past time and I handed mine over to him last summer.".

Lily snorted, "not a lady's past time? But Quidditch is?"

"Hey, they have cute outfits!" Dorcas chimed in, "And even you have to admit that Potter looks especially yummy with that 27 on his back. Oh, I already forgot, _especially_ you. This is going to need some tough getting used to!"

"I know," Lily laughed and then grinned widely, "and you're right, it's absurd how good he looks."

"Wow, this is like the reversed version of the seven-year-itch," Dorcas noticed.

"The what?" Marlene's face was a question mark.

"It's a muggle saying. After a couple is married or together for seven years, it's said that they start to find all the things they used find charming about one another absolutely annoying."

"Wow. I start experiencing that after six weeks with a bloke," contributed Marlene, while Dorcas and Lily rolled their eyes. At that moment the door to the sixth year girl's dormitory swung open anew. In walked the remaining two Gryffindor girls of the sixth year, Preena Patil and Gwinerva Vane.

"There are fourth year Hufflepuffs already dancing downstairs," Patil huffed incredulously as she dropped her heavy load library books on her bed, "have they no decency at all?"

"And what's wrong with dancing again?" Marlene inquired while swinging her long legs off the bed to turn around towards the two newcomers.

"I think what Pree means," Lily explained with the corners of her mouth twitching, "is that both the characteristics 'fourth year' and 'Hufflepuff' disqualify one from having the right to move around freely in our common room."

"Well... yes! If they were at least sixth or seventh year Hufflepuffs I could reconsider," Preena was holding up different pairs of large earrings to judge their potential with her features, "I'm going to borrow this pair, Dorkey." Dorcas just frowned at her demanding roommate, but relaxed her features when Lily squeezed her hand.

"Your eyes look especially beautiful today," half-whispered an extremely shy Gwinerva from the window.

"Erm, thanks Gwin. You look really nice, too!" Lily smiled at the quiet Gryffindor who blushed furiously at the unexpected compliment und looked down at her simple grey knee-length wool dress.

"C'mon Gwinnie, you can help me pick out what I'm going to wear to the party," Preena said generously as she held up several multi-colored flowing dresses.

"OK!" the quiet girl rushed over and almost tripped while doing so.

"Do you guys wanna head down?" Marlene forcefully nodded towards the door, her eyes pleading.

"Sure!" Dorcas hopped off the bed excitedly, "Gwin, Pree, are you guys coming, too?"

"We'll be a little while," Preena tutted while trying on a beautiful lilac Sari with Gwinerva's help.

"See ya!" Lily threw one last glance in the mirror, pulling at her sunflower yellow-coloured dress as Marlene slapped her hand away " _It's supposed to be that short!"_.

When Dorcas and Lily finally weaved their way through the extremely crowded Gryffindor common room and found comfortable seating on a sofa close to the self-made dance floor ('found' by shoving off second years and 'self-made' as all the furniture was merely pushed towards the sides of the common room), Marlene came over clutching three butter beers by their necks in each hand. Dorcas and Lily jumped up off from the sofa to help her.

"Greedy much?" Lily demanded as she took two bottles.

"Greedy? You should've seen the bar, there was hardly anything left! Thought I'd save us a trip," Marlene winked as the three comfortably sat back down on the plush sofa, Dorcas in the middle of Lily and Marlene.

"Well hello, ladies," said a seductive voice and just like that there were six people sitting on a three-person sofa, with Sirius Black squishing in between Dorcas and Marlene while Remus and Peter had the decency to sit on the sofa's arms.

"Black, are you wearing sunglasses inside of the castle?" Marlene asked, completely annoyed with their new seating arrangement.

"Ah, McKinnon, you know your beauty would blind me if I didn't," Sirius countered smoothly while running a hand through his long hair and leaning back into the sofa, and despite herself, Marlene had to giggle at the pair of bushy eyebrows wiggling just above the rim of Black's glasses.

"The other version is," Remus commented dryly as he took a big gulp of his fire whiskey, "is that Black and his boyfriend got into a little bit of a heated discussion."

"Prongs just gets emotional, there's a lot of stress on him," Peter explained earnestly.

"Erm... what?" Lily was now completely confused and additionally preoccupied with crossing and re-crossing her legs due to her fear of flashing dancing minors.

"Yes, where is dear Potterboy this evening?" Marlene asked casually.

"He disappeared when Alexa arrived," Black replied through gritted teeth, clearly annoyed with the situation. Lily stopped adjusting her legs and looked up at the handsome boy to her left. At this instance she forcefully regained control over her head and heart. Or so she thought. Momentarily.

"Switch?" Lily took Remus' firewhiskey out his hand and instead placed her untouched beer into his palm.

"Um. Sure? Lils?" Remus' eyes grew wide as he watched Lily get up from her seat to down the glass of firewhiskey in one swig.

"Alright, Evans!" Sirius Black grinned and saluted her, only to down his own cup in the same manner. Peter imitated him and broke out in severe coughs and wheezes after he came back up for air.

"Easy there, Wormtail," Sirius laughed whole-heartedly as he reached across Marlene's back to pat his friend on the back. At that moment the crowd parted somewhat and the group had a clear shot view of James Potter snogging his girlfriend passionately against the wall next to the stairs of the boy's dormitories. Lily turned swiftly back around to her friends as if she had witnessed nothing at all, but her expression was somewhere between maniacal and exasperated.

"More," she held her newly acquired glass under Black's nose.

"Please, perhaps, wouldn't you, kindly, _anything_ Evans?" Sirius smirked up at her while his eyes examined her intently.

"Sorry," Lily bit her lip apologetically, "is there any chance you guys have more stashed where this came from?"

"No worries, we've got you covered, love," Black summoned a nearly untouched bottle of firewhiskey and produced three additional glasses out of thin air, "if Evans is drinking, we're all drinking, right?" The rest of their group agreed with gleeful laughter. After the six students saluted their finished exams, Gryffindor winning the Quidditch cup and the existence of fluffy grey owls, Sirius couldn't help himself any longer.

"So what's the deal Evans, can't see Prongsie exchanging saliva with another female or isn't he spending enough time with you anymore either?" Remus swatted Sirius on the arm intuitively, but was also surprised when Lily did not respond immediately and was shocked when he looked up and found that Lily's face had gone beet red.

"Don't be ridiculous, Black," Marlene interrupted loudly and ripped Lily out of her trance.

"Yes, completely ridiculous Mr. Slack, Mr. Blirius, uh, I meant,-" Lily was growing a deeper shade by the second.

"Wait, _what?_ " Remus was completely stunned as he worked everything out in his mind. Sirius quickly added it up as well.

"Evans, you can't be serious. "

"You're Sirius!" Peter giggled from the sidelines.

"Not now-"

"Not, _anything_!" Lily voice was shrill as she tried to regain her composure and pointed a finger at Sirius, "Forget everything you're thinking right now! _Forget it_!" Sirius stared at her intently.

"Alright, alright. Another round," Sirius re-opened the half-empty bottle of firewhiskey and poured the chilled liquid into the six glasses held up mid-air in front of him. At that moment James and Alexa breathlessly joined the group, holding hands and smiling. Lily stiffened immediately at the sight of the gleefully happy couple.

"OI! What're you lot up to? Here, pour us some too, Black," James conjured two glasses with his wand and tried to hand them over to Sirius. Sirius Black however, ignored his best friend completely and rather held up his own glass in a toast.

"To love," he saluted. Lily threw her beautiful auburn locks back and downed her shot. After, she licked her lips and stared at James intently with her emerald eyes, and James eyed her nervously in return.

"I want to dance," Lily demanded. James eyes widened. Lily cocked her head away from him, "Black. Let's dance."

"Hell yes," Sirius Black rushed to get up, cast their glasses into Peter's hands and led Lily off to the dance floor.

" _What_?" James dropped Alexa's hand and turned around to stare after the pair, to then turn around again and accusatorily fixate Remus.

"Don't ask me, mate," Remus held his hands up defensively, "Dorcas, care to dance?"

"Yes, but only if Marlene can tag along," Remus rolled his eyes, but smiled to himself as they all left to join Lily and Sirius, who were spinning to that funky music in a crowd of gloriously uncoordinated fourth-year Hufflepuffs.


	6. Run over a Cat

Lily Evans desperately kept her eyes pressed shut while she cupped her forehead with her soothingly cool left hand and held her right hand up to shield herself from the sliver of light shining in through the slit of her crimson bed curtains. Her head felt like she had been hit with a bludger and her ears rang as if a stadium full of crazed Quidditch fans were recapping last night's events to her in booming and echoing voices. Behind her eyelids a laser show of blurry moments gave her an inkling of what had happened the evening before. But at that moment, her dark nightmare became a waking one as the bed curtains were drawn aside and a hateful June sun hit Lily square in the face.

"Lils, you really have to pack the rest of your stuff, the train is leaving the station in an hour," she could make out Dorcas' gentle voice. _Train... Hogwarts... an hour... wait... an hour... an hour. An HOUR?_ Lily whipped up from her child's pose and instantly regretted the motivation, holding her head in vain.

"Owww... the train leaves in an hour? Why didn't you wake me earlier? This is a nightmare, I've got nothing packed and," Lily stood up from her mattress, "Argh, my head!"

"We tried to wake you earlier, but we were only greeted with kicking and lovely name-calling. Next time I'll make sure to try the ice bucket method!" Marlene seemed to be in an excellent mood.

"Oh... no. No need. Thanks, guys," Lily scanned the room and saw five trunks neatly aligned next to the entrance door of the dormitory, "Wait, what's my trunk doing there?"

"It's nice to see you up to average witch speed this morning," Dorcas winked at Lily lovingly, "Mar and I took the liberty to pack your suitcase for you as you were... ah, indisposed earlier."

"You guys are lifesavers, really, thank you so much," Lily started swaying towards the bathroom and scrunched her nose, "What is that smell?"

"I'm afraid that's all you," Marlene stated cheerily, "better hop in the shower before we all die under your breath and miss the train." Lily cast a rude hand gesture her way and disappeared in the bathroom.

As the hot water turned the small space into a hazy steam room, Lily's head cleared a bit. She had danced with Black last night. A lot. At some point she had also danced with James... Lily's stomach turned as she remembered the closeness of his face and his strong build holding her. Standing under the massaging stream of the shower, she couldn't place how they had gotten so intertwined, but she blushed nonetheless at the memory and her longing for it back. After scrubbing down with the papaya shower gel that had somehow gotten abandoned in the packing process, Lily stepped out on the cold tiles. She already felt a bit better about her situation. She had gotten close to James, why and however that had happened, and she had not yet missed the Hogwart's Express. Things were perhaps not as bad as they seemed after all.

Lily dried her hair with a spell and threw on a pair of light blue bell-bottom jeans with a dark green top. She downed a sweet tasting bright orange pick-me-up potion that Dorcas had set on her nightstand, feeling an instant relief, and took one last look around her beloved dorm room.

"Already miss it, huh?" Marlene put an arm around Lily's shoulder, her voice a little bitter. Marlene usually loved going home to see her family and to spend time with her little brother, but ever since early March her mother had been sending cryptic messages on the subject of 'having to talk about things when she came home' that had led her to believe that someone had grown ill or worse, had disappeared.

"Yeah," Lily in turn wrapped her arm around her best friend and cringed inwardly at the awkward summer ahead, with Severus on her front lawn and Vernon in her back yard. But worst of all, she was now isolated from the wizarding world without Severus to keep her in the loop. Especially with the attacks growing worse by the week, she felt helplessness in the war against Riddle which she didn't feel as severely when she was at school, surrounded by mostly like-minded students, teachers and friends.

"Ah, you know you're never coming back, Lils," Dorcas chimed in from behind.

"Hey!" Lily pouted at her insensitive friend.

"Oh- I didn't mean- because you're going to be head girl of course!" Dorcas beamed at her friend.

"Shut up, it's never going to happen," Lily dismissed her.

"Yes, especially with how bad you were last night," Marlene wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and ducked away from her red-headed friend that was now trying to tickle her into oblivion, "Stop!" Marlene shrieked, but Lily kept chasing her until she was completely exhausted.

"Stop being so fast!" Lily demanded, breathing heavily.

"That's what they keep telling me," Marlene winked and hopped aside easily to escape Lily's final attempt at beating her friend.

"Could we continue this on our way towards the station?" Dorcas suggested.

As the three went down to leave Hogwart's for a sixth time, they ran into Remus Lupin who was pushing past them nervously on the third floor staircase.

"Hey! Slow down, Padfoot," Marlene called after him. It seemed Remus had only just then noticed the three Gryffindor girls.

"Oh! Hey... It's Moony," he said quickly, his eyes meeting Lily's and then quickly darting away.

"What?"

"I'm- nevermind. I forgot a parchment upstairs. I thought Sirius had it, but he said he put it under my bed, why ever he would do such a thing, and now I have to get it since it's 'legally on my territory'," he explained hastily, continuing to avoid Lily's gaze.

"A parchment? I could just lend you one, you know," Marlene offered, already opening her book bag.

"Oh, erm, no! It's special," the three girls eyed him quizzically while Remus grew more nervous; "The four of us share it. Nevermind. Hope you're feeling better, Lily!" and with that he rushed up the stairs without turning back. The girls resumed their decent downstairs.

"Okay, why did he just say that? Didn't we all have a long night yesterday? I mean I get that I don't join into festivities as much as others, but why did he have to single me out as if I ran over my cat?"

"How can you run over a cat?"

"With a car, oh, never mind Marlene," Dorcas quickly changed the subject back, "Lily, are you telling us that you don't remember what happened?"

"Remember what? That I danced inappropriately with Black? I'm very aware and ashamed thank you very much. But I think we can all get over that now. I actually had a lot of fun with him- aside from the inappropriateness of it all."

"Yes, no. Not that. Lily, remember how at one point James left to bring Alexa back to the Ravenclaw tower..."

"Uh-huh."

"And that he returned from that trip a while later..."

"Uh-huh."

"And he climbed through the portrait hole..."

"Uh-huh."

"At which point you jumped on top of him and tackled him to the ground-"

"Oh no."

"And he brought you up to the dorm room-"

"Oh no," they were outside of the castle now and halted behind the line of students that were waiting to access a carriage down to the station, "don't tell me I did anything inappropriate with Potter." Lily was frightened and anxious of the answer that Dorcas held on her lips. Twenty students ahead she saw the back of a particularly cute head of unruly hair. But Marlene spoke instead.

"Nope. You just puked on him."

"I- _What?_ " Dorcas and Marlene marvelled as Lily's face widened in complete horror until she covered up her features with her arms and started stomping on the soft lush ground.

"Oh it's not that bad," Marlene said soothingly while patting her friends head, "Maybe it was worse that when he told us how Alexa got angry because Flitwick caught them while they went up to the Ravenclaw dorm, you listed all the reasons she would never be head girl."

"No," Lily held onto the sides of her faces in exasperation, "please tell me I didn't."

"Oh, I'm afraid you did," Dorcas added in a soft, pitying voice, "didn't know that being tall is a downside when patrolling hallways by the way." Lily had lowered herself to the ground and just sat on the grass in shame.

"I'm never drinking anything ever again," she whispered into her lap.

"Never say that, flower," it was a gloriously handsome Sirius Black grinning down at the pile of red hair.


	7. Hide and Seek

Lily pressed her forehead against the soothingly cool glass of the train window as she settled into the cushy faded blue seat she had slumped into immediately after boarding the Hogwarts Express. As lush forests and picturesque villages raced past, her head kept spinning. Had she ruined things for good? Lily didn't particularly like what had become of her head as her heart had fallen deeper and deeper into a pit that was so wonderfully soft and overtly smothering at the same time. She didn't want to be a girl that talked down another student behind their back. She didn't want to be someone that lost control when someone else had what she wanted. Lily couldn't recognize the person that had acted in her place whenever Potter was around. Being proud and strong and kind were the things she liked most about herself. Didn't that mean that he brought out the worst in her, if she turned weak and cunning in his presence? Lily made the choice then and there to apologize to James for what had happened and to finally find the strength to climb out of the hole she had dug for herself. Over the summer she was going to cleanse herself from this negative energy surrounding her. After all, in a time like this it was stupid to be thinking about something so ridiculous as a meaningless crush. There was a war going on, and Lily had better things to do than be in love.

"I'm going to step out for a while," she murmured as Dorcas, Marlene, Preena and Gwinerva were going through Dorcas' and Lily's muggle magazines, gushing at stoic pictures of beautiful long-legged women relaxing at the beach in colourful bathing suits.

"Bring me a chocolate frog?" Marlene asked absent-mindedly while flipping through a couple of glossy pages.

"You have a problem," Lily grinned while sliding the door to their compartment shut. At first she mused where she should start looking for him, but then remembered that the Marauders usually chose a compartment towards the back of the train, since the incredibly creepy trolley witch started her route there. Lily shoved past younger students (had they always been this tiny?) that all seemed quite happy to see her, gleefully telling her in passing about how well their exams had gone, if it were the case, or how miserably they thought they had failed, in the hopes of a few soothing words that Lily always had to spare. A Slytherin second year girl came up to her with tears in her eyes, whimpering that she had forgotten her owl at school and Lily stopped to write a quick note to Prof. Slughorn, sending a fellow Hufflepuff prefect's tiny brown owl to deliver the message.

When she had finally reached the last wagon, she was expecting to find the Marauders holed up in the last compartment, planning what mischief they could get away with in their final year. But as she slid the door open, Lily was surprised by the havoc laid out in front of her and she felt butterflies taking over her entire body once again. There was a horde of students from all houses running around wildly within the wagon, far too many for the number of seats available within the partition, and at the end of the hall sat James Potter, on a simple wooden stool with black blindfolds on, counting down loudly from 20.

"TWELVE... ELEVEN...," he bellowed as the younger students were tripping over their own and each other's cloaks, shoving their fists into their mouths to stop from giggling. Students were climbing up into the luggage nets, building forts out of seat cushions while older ones were even attempting (very weak) concealing charms.

"What in the name of…" Lily breathed out as she moved aside to let Freddy Gryffin, a usually highly shy Hufflepuff third year, try to roll himself into the slim carpet lining the hall. She focused her gaze back on Potter and continued towards him, walking certain and purposefully and proud, and completely shaken with giggles.

"SIX… FIVE…," Lily had reached the raven haired boy now and smiled as she looked down at him. He was dressed simply, in a black t-shirt and jeans, and leaned his head back against the final wall of the train. Lily bent her head low so her lips were close to his left ear.

"I need to speak to you," she spoke softly.

"FOU-, what?" An angry muttering streamed through the wagon from the mob of students as James tore his blindfolds upwards so that they took the form of a bandana along his forehead. His eyes only slightly showed his surprise about Lily's appearance, but hid any other emotions, "Black, take over."

"Yuh," as if out of nowhere Sirius Black suddenly stood right to James' other side. Lily jumped a little at the sudden appearance.

"Merlin, Sirius, did you master a full concealing charm? You scared the crap out of me, showing up out of thin air like that," Lily spluttered, still in shock.

"Ah, I have my ways," Sirius wiggled his eyebrows.

"Yeah, one of which is cheating," James stood and snatched what looked like a robe out of his best friend's hands and switched it out with the black blindfolds he was wearing earlier.

"What's that?" Lily couldn't help her childlike curiosity, poking at the unknown object.

"Alright kids, bonus time's over! I'm gonna find you in FOUR… THREE," Sirius Black draped the blindfold over his eyes and leaned casually against the wall while the horde of students resumed their excited buzzing.

"Let's head out," James lightly touched her upper arm to guide Lily outside to the second-to-last carriage. The noise of the beehive fell silent as the door fell in behind them and suddenly everything was awfully quiet. Lily shifted from one foot to the other in uncertainty, fidgeting with her fingers, while James stood firm on his feet and look down at her.

"You wanted to talk to me. You have to say something now, that's how this works," he crossed his arms and leaned back against a compartment door, his shirt hugging his chiselled features. Lily cursed herself for the foolish idea of wanting to talk to him in the first place, knowing full well that she couldn't pull herself together when he looked at her like that, but she focused and fixed her gaze onto his warm eyes that seemed to exude such serenity.

"Right. You're right," she took a moment to gather her thoughts, "I guess I want to, no, I want to, I want to apologize for how I acted yesterday. It's inexcusable. And it's not like me, or at least not like the way I want to be. I'm sorry about what I said about Alexa, it's absolute bullocks, she's a fantastic person and she would make a phenomenal head girl. No, I mean it, really!" Lily felt herself getting defensive as James looked at her sceptically and raised one of his eyebrows.

"I think it's just the end of the year stress, and I don't actually have a huge desire to be head girl or anything, or at least I thought I didn't, but apparently my head thinks otherwise after being fed with explicit liquids," now James was just flat out chuckling at her and she felt her face heating up.

"Come on, don't be like that, you've done plenty of stupid things to impress me when you've had a little too much. Remember how loaded you were in fifth year when you flew up on top of the astronomy tower when I bet you, you never could? You probably just did that because you knew how scared I would be for you," Lily cursed herself for her babbling as James' other eyebrow joined the first just below his wild hair.

"Impress me?" his grin turned lopsided.

"Oh you know what I mean!" Lily just knew her cheeks were a bright pink by know. Why was she admitting that she had felt scared for him? At least she hadn't admitted to the tears that had rolled down her cheeks while she was yelling at him to fly back down, "Anyway, I'm sorry about what I said and the way I acted, and you know, the other stuff."

"Other stuff?"

"You know…" Lily fidgeted with her shirt, incredibly embarrassed.

"Ohh… you mean how you barfed on me?"

"James!" she screeched, covering her eyes with her hands, just catching how his eyes gleamed at the sound of his name.

"Nah, don't worry about it, Evans. Sorry about that shirt though, one of my favourites. Glad I'm over the phase of framing it just because your puke is on it though, am I right?" she lowered her hands down and looked down at his feet.

"Hah, yeah."

"Wish I could agree with you on the Alexa praise, but can't say I relish the feeling right now," James sounded annoyed as he scratched his chin.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, this morning she seemed to have made her mind up about dating me. Said that after the incident with Flitwick she couldn't risk being associated with me if it would cost her the head girl position. Apparently, personal qualities count a whole lot in the decision process, and at least in Alexa's book, dating me is character assassination."

"What? That's horrible!" Lily gasped, feeling instantly defensive for Potter and hauling the long list of negative words she had once thought of for Alexa back into her vocabulary.

"Yeah, she could've figured that out a little earlier. I've introduced her to my mother and everything during Christmas holiday. Guess Sirius was right after all then… Well, be glad you never fell into the trap, Evans. With your history of steering clear of the mess that is me, you should have that head girl position in your pocket," he muttered bitterly, still feigning aloofness.

"You didn't deserve that, James. Not one bit. You're a good person. You've turned into a good person," Lily looked into his warm eyes earnestly, meaning every word. At first hesitatingly, she moved towards him, reaching her hand slightly forward to take his. To her quiet surprise he intertwined his fingers with hers and they stood there for what seemed like ages in trance, breathing consciously. Suddenly, a compartment door slid open behind them with a thud. Lily quickly dropped her hand to her side and twirled around to see Severus Snape mere centimetres from her face, as the three students were pressed into the slim hallway of the moving train.

"Lily," Severus stated, slightly surprised to meet her in front of his own compartment, expecting she was here to talk to him. Then his gaze shifted towards Potter and his mouth curled instantly as a sneer escaped his lips.

"How am I not one bit surprised? Couldn't resist that riveting lecture on broom polish after all, Evans? I could tell you right now that the ending is a prophesied tragedy," Lily was praying that James would not send a hex at the stupid git she once called her best friend before she had the chance to. But to her surprise, James Potter left the scene wordlessly, sliding the doors to the final wagon open once again and disappearing into the mass of students within. As the door slid shut again the silence fell upon the two former friends.

"Shove it, Sev," Lily snapped at him, filled with rage, and turned on her heel to leave for the other direction.

"It's unfortunate to see you so below your potential, Lily," Severus Snape called after her, as if he was talking to a disappointing teen to whom he was merely offering insightful adult guidance. Lily threw the door to the wagon behind her shut with a bang. She reached her own compartment frustrated and tired, unclear as to why, when she had tried to mend her situation, it had completely shifted again. If she was going to try to get over Potter, she was definitely not on the right track. Her hand was still tingling where his hand had touched her and she wished more than ever to reclaim it again and never let go. She slid the door to her compartment open, rubbing her forehead in frustration.

"Frogs?" Marlene sat up excitedly.

"They were out," Lily gave her friend a telling look and Marlene raised an eyebrow questioningly as the rest of their dorm mates chattered away lightly. She patted the seat next to her for Lily to sit. Lily sat down, hugged her knees to her chest and pressed her forehead against the cool glass, feeling miserable, confused and enchanted by a boy.


	8. Rotary Phone

Lily Evans was pacing back and forth in a small square room with powder-coloured walls, a forest green rotary phone at her hips, held by the fingers of her left hand while her right hand clutched the corresponding receiver to her ear. The twirling redhead cast peevish glances at the peaceful sunbathed roofs that spread out in front of the East-facing square window of her bedroom, as she listened tentatively to the annoying _beeps_ that had emerged from the ear piece for what felt like a decade.

"Pick up," she demanded from the inanimate object in her palm, "pick up, pick up, pick uuuuuup-"

"Meadowes residence," a thin voice suddenly squeaked into Lily's awaiting ear.

"Finally! Where do you people stash the phone? The garden shed?"

"Who is speaking, if I may ask?" asked the quivering voice, ignoring Lily's tantrum completely. Lily was dumbfounded at the unexpected pitch and immediately forgot about her outrage.

"Erm, Dorcas?"

"That is not possible, as Ms. Meadowes is currently located next to the flower bed. I ask again, who is speaking?"

"No, I meant- _I'm_ Lily Evans, Dorcas' friend from school? Remember- red hair, lots of pimples? Biffy is that you?" Lily had now realized that who answered the Meadowes' phone was none other than the tiny polite house elf with the orange bathmat wardrobe that she had met the last time she had gone to visit Dorcas. This was during her summer holidays between 4th and 5th year and it really had been a very pimply summer, now that she thought of it. Lily was suddenly relieved that at least one of her adolescent problems had cleared up at the end of that July and had never resurfaced since. Lily halted for second, playing the horrific scenario, that the universe had taken her pimples and given her Potter, out in her head before casting the deranged thought aside and refocusing on the potentially soothing conversation she was going to have with Dorcas.

Dorcas' mother was a witch while her father was a muggle. It always seemed to Lily that Dorcas had the best of both worlds when she visited home during the holidays. She could sweep the house with her broom and ride it too. As both of Dorcas' parents didn't want to let go of their upbringing, the Meadowes raised their children in a very new-aged manner. They were the hippie parents of the wizarding world. By her tenth birthday, Dorcas had illegally ridden a broom and driven her parents light blue Fort Anglia along the outskirts of the village they were situated in. Dorcas had preferred the car. In this manner, the family kept a house elf that had served in Mrs. Meadowes clan for decades, but Dorcas' father still made his children take out the trash and keep up with other ordinary household chores, creating a lot of tension between him and the house elf.

"Yes, this is Biffy speaking."

"Uh, great! Would you mind terribly getting Dorcas on the phone?"

"Right away, Ms. Evans," Lily called a "thank you" through the receiver, but Biffy had presumably already left the room. Somehow all of her pacing had trapped Lily in a phone cord conundrum and she was now desperately trying to figure out why both of her ankles were caught in the wire, but seemingly independent from each other.

"Hello? Lily?" Dorcas called through the receiver brightly after a couple of tangled minutes.

"Hi Dor- Aargh!"

"Lils, are you there? Lily?"

"Yup. Present," Lily sighed from the carpeted floor which she had just full-frontal fallen onto.

"I'm so happy you called! Sorry about the wait, mum always hides the phone in the basement because she finds the ringing so annoying. Dad always hides it in her dresser to get back at her though, it's a right out blast out here with the two of them," Lily could practically hear Dorcas rolling her eyes as she sat up and started untying herself from the phone cord.

"Don't worry about it, I was happy to hear that Biffy is still up and about."

"Well that makes one of us then. I've already had it with Biffs this summer, he keeps hiding my blue mascara, chattering something about how my lady grandmother Meadowes wouldn't approve," the two girls laughed, "To be fair, she probably wouldn't."

"Well you know what they say, new era, new mascara, eh?"

"Brilliant! Need to remember that for old Biffs next time I catch him sneaking into my dresser drawers. Come to think of it, it's pretty creepy... Anyhow, how's your first week of the last summer of your life going?"

"Be dramatic, why don't you," Lily snorted, "It's been alright... Mum keeps asking why I don't go out to play with Sevvy, like she could just put us together in a sandbox and everything would be okay. I guess I have to tell her what happened at some point, but I can't get myself to do it. She's known him forever as the nice guy next door with the horrible parents who's just looking for a friend, you know?"

"Yeah, I get it... and you haven't seen him at all?"

"Not since I refused to apparate home together with him and ended up landing on the Quirglemeyer's front lawn because I was so unfocused. I know I have to face the possibility of seeing him soon though, I can't stay holed up in my room forever."

"Yes, you're skin already looks like a vampire's, please see the sunlight, Lily flower!"

"Thanks," Lily said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, don't be like that. What about Potter? Did you see any more of him?" Lily groaned at the mention of his name.

"How would I see any of him, it's not like he lives in my street like other aforementioned arseholes. And anyway, what would I say to him if I saw him?"

"That's a tough situation."

"No Dorcas, I'm serious, what would I say?" Lily was exasperated thinking of an abundance of utterly silly words that would foam out of her as if she were a Hippogriff with rabies, "I can't just ask him out, can I?"

"Wait, are you being serious? Are you planning on talking to James Potter over the summer? Lily!"

"What? No! Well, maybe...," Lily stomach was practicing flips, "I'm just so tired of feeling like this, like I'm in limbo. Maybe I just have to go out with him once to rid myself of all the pathetic feelings that are floating around my head right now. Who knows, maybe locking lips with the former enemy could be the alarm clock to end this entire nightmare!" Dorcas was silent for a while.

"I understand what you're saying, Lily. But, what if the unspeakable happens?"

"That he laughs in my face when I ask him out and he says no?"

"That you like going out with him."

"Oh," Lily caught herself blushing, trying earnestly to make Dorcas believe that she hadn't considered this yet, "I doubt that... I mean, where would we even go? Can you picture me and Potter at the movies? Hah, like that's ev-"

"Lily, you've already had date fantasies!" Dorcas gasped in mock-horror.

"Have not!"

"I hear it in your voice, you big denier!"

"Well, popcorn just gets me in a really romantic mood, okay!" Lily pouted defensively.

"Just owl him about something unambiguous like his grades for finals, so you can get the conversation going. He did just break up with his girlfriend after all," Dorcas mused.

"She broke up with him. And hold the phone, did you get your finals grades yet!?" Dorcas groaned at Lily's excitement.

"No, Lils, it was just an idea for starting a conversation you big fat grade-lusting maniac," Dorcas huffed through the phone.

"Ah, gotcha," Lily's mouth spread to a wide grin but her face fell immediately as she heard an all too familiar annoying snarl from downstairs, "Petunia wants to get on the line to talk to her "fiancé". It's like Vermin doesn't even have a name anymore." Dorcas giggled at the use of the nickname.

"Glad to hear the wedding's still on, then."

"Yup. Winter wonderland theme. Hex me now."

"Oh, come on, it will be so much fun! I've never been to a wedding. Unless you count my aunt Basil's, but I was a baby then, so it doesn't count. Hey, maybe you can bring a date! I've got a fantastic id-" Lily hung up the phone before her friend could finish her sentence, laughing. People unaware of the ritual would find it rude, but Dorcas and Lily had developed this method of ending their conversations two years back. Their parents had complained that the two friends would spend hours on end on the phone, never managing to say good-bye. Hence, they had invented the game of who would hang up first. They got nothing out of it, except feasting upon the pure annoyance of the other that hadn't managed to disengage from the conversation first.

Lily hopped downstairs, clutching the beloved forest green phone to her chest until she saw her sister in the kitchen.

"Finally," was all Petunia had to offer as she ripped the phone from Lily's arms and sped upstairs, slamming the door of her own violet-coloured room next to Lily's. Lily grabbed a lush green apple from the fruit bowl sitting on top of the kitchen counter as well as today's muggle newspaper, and she pranced back upstairs. Her parents were at work and wouldn't be home until late in the afternoon. Lying on her bed with the lilac flower-print duvet, propped on her elbows while her left hand was spinning her favourite feather around, Lily mused at all the words she wanted to write to James Potter and all the ones she couldn't.


	9. Bus Stop

Two weeks passed and Lily still hadn't written down a word. Every time her quill touched the parchment, she shuddered at how ridiculous she of all people was to think that writing James Potter of all people was a good idea and she tossed the feather aside and kept herself preoccupied. At least until the next encounter with her beloved parchment stationary which had her initials printed at the bottom in black ink and was sitting innocently on top of her small wooden desk, begging to be used. Another lovely Christmas gift her mother had gotten her during a sale at _Ink Incorporated_ , her favourite shop at Diagon Alley aside from _Flourish and Blotts_ of course. Lily's mother Rose had a gift for giving gifts. She always knew exactly what a person didn't want or need at all, but would cherish above all else.

The Evans did not have a lot of money, but Lily had never noticed it growing up because her mother had created such a lovely home for the four of them and her father's eyes had always beamed with joy when he came back home from the office to join his girls for dinner. It was only when Petunia had turned 16 and Lily had witnessed her sister tearing up the beautiful self-made garland her mother had fashioned, that she had first considered that maybe things weren't as rosy after all. Afterwards she had gone up to press her ear against Petunia's door and Lily could hear her sister crying uncontrollably inside the locked bedroom. It had already been late in the night when Lily snuck over to Petunia's, the door finally unlocked. While the girls held each other tight under the blanket in a seldom act of shared comfort, Petunia had admitted that she had so wished for the pink suede party dress she had pointed out to their mother this past fall while window-shopping in London, and that it was sure to be on sale by now. It was one of the last true intimate moments they had shared as sisters, and Lily heart grieved whenever she cast her thoughts back to that night now.

Lily had been more pragmatic about their situation than Petunia. She had learned to sew dresses and shirts and even jeans, so her mother had only to worry about buying the standard school uniform each summer. Lily also didn't seek to engage in fancy hobbies as her sister did. While Petunia would prefer to horseback ride and visit Paris, Lily knew to keep content with reading second-hand classics. It also helped that she loved going to the movies, which only cost 45 pence at the local theatre, but was free for Lily since she worked there part-time during summer break since her fourth year. It wasn't that Lily didn't want to go to Paris or see ABBA in concert during the European tour, but she knew it wouldn't happen on her parent's budget.

In this moment, Lily Evans was lying on her twin-sized bed, looking up at her bare ceiling and daydreaming about James Potter standing on her carpet and enchanting it like he had said he would. One glance at the alarm clock set on top of her nightstand told her it was time to head to work. She swung her legs off the bed and headed downstairs, stroking over the orange A-line dress she had put on this morning and which was now crumpled after her mid-day reverie.

"Off to work, darling?" her mother's head popped in from the kitchen and beamed down at her.

"Yup," Lily affirmed the obvious while sitting on the bottom step to pull her Doc Martens on.

"Well, at least have a bite to eat before you leave," Rose Evans disappeared into the kitchen and came back out with a humongous sandwich after mere seconds had passed.

"You want me to believe that you just made this? We should enter you as contestant for New Faces," Lily mocked, but took the sandwich nonetheless even though she needed both hands to carry it safely.

"Well, excuse me for being prepared," Rose sighed dramatically, "it seems to me like you haven't eaten since you turned sixteen. You're growing too thin! Well, except for some areas of course-"

" _Mum!_ " Lily turned bright red and looked down the front of her dress, not at all sure what her mother meant.

"Oh, I know I know, I'm _so_ embarrassing, yes yes, I've heard it all before and louder from your sister. But believe me, we need to plan a visit to Diagon Alley before the summer's over to get you a few new blouses for school. You're going to thank me soon enough," Mrs. Evans winked at her youngest daughter, who was now chewing toast whole-heartedly to refrain from having to respond, "Which reminds me- are you seeing someone at school? A boy? Do we need to have the talk again? Is that why Severus isn't coming by for supper anymore? Or is it a girl? You know your father and I are open to everything, love co-"

"MUM!" Lily sprayed their entrance hall will crumbs, "Please don't ever, ever, _ever_ mention the _talk_ again, I was seeking adoption after the first time."

"Well, it seems like no one called in for the advert," Mrs. Evans chimed while exuding cheerfulness, "which reminds me, is there something special you magical people use? Do we need to go by the apothecary while we're at Diagon Alley? We'll just distract your father; you know he loves that broom shop." Lily opened the front door, eager to escape the conversation. She almost slammed the door in her mother's face in agony, but Lily knew that Rose Evans only meant well, and on some level she was also glad that her mother wanted talk openly about everything rather than ignore the fact that she had two teenage daughters. Lily turned around one last time to face her mother, the sandwich still in her left hand.

"I don't know, Mum. I'm not seeing anyone. Does that answer your questions?"

"Not in the slightest, darling. But we'll talk about it later. Have a good shift!" and with that Lily stepped out into the blazingly hot afternoon sun and trotted towards the bus stop while finishing her sandwich. To her demise, a dark figure slumped on the bus stop bench promised her another unpleasant conversation she would rather have never than now. As she advanced towards the stop, the greasy-haired boy's eyes darted back and forth in the distance and Lily was already beyond annoyed that Severus was pretending not to see her until the last minute.

"Oh," Snape limply feigned shock when she was just two metres away from him, "Lily. How are you?"

"Fine, Sev," Lily sighed, determined to be civil, "How about you? How is you summer going?"

"Same as ever, I suppose," Severus muttered, his eyes darting between her and a distant playground. The meagre boy was clad in all black clothes from head to toe, but as he stood up to reach her height, Lily caught a glance of a dark green bruise on Severus' wrist. She couldn't help but worry at the sight of it.

"Do you need help?" Lily asked curtly. Snape's eyebrows furrowed as he followed her gaze and he instantly shoved the too short sleeves of his sweatshirt over his palms.

"What help could you ever offer me?" Snape muttered distastefully. Lily tried not to be hurt.

"You could talk to me, Sev. Sometimes talking helps," Lily offered, but the boy opposite her only shrugged and steered at her nastily.

"Yeah? Well maybe talking about how difficult it is to receive high marks and simultaneously keep your good looks going helps people like you and Potter get through the day. But I don't need to discuss how my father handles mediocre grades at my house, for my mother to receive less beatings," Snape snarled and as he had become more enraged, Lily had become more frustrated with him for faulting others for not suffering to the extent he did.

"Well if you're so sure I can't help you, what would make things better in your opinion?" she snapped at him. Snape now focused his gaze and stared at her, his eyes gleaming.

"I want him to suffer for it," he replied quietly. Lily was one of the few people who had witnessed the usually reserved boy turn so vicious on several occasions. In almost all cases his hatred protruded either in reference to his father or Potter and his gang.

"So your plan is to illegally hex your father? How is it going to help your mother when you're sitting in Azkaban, if I may ask? Come out of it, Sev."

"I wouldn't. I can't. Whenever he's around… My wand doesn't work right," Severus stuttered and then, "I want to ask _him_ to do it." Lily's eyes widened.

"You don't mean that, Severus. You couldn't," she gasped, horrified that her old friend would go to this extent out of hatred towards his father.

"What's keeping me?" he demanded from her.

"Sev, don't be like this. Think about your mother! Think about… think about _me_ ," she pleaded. The bus turned the corner at the end of their street.

"So I can keep watching you drooling over _Potter_? Don't think I haven't noticed the way you've gotten all chummy with him," Lily tried to evade his gaze as the bus pulled up to the stop, "What can he offer you? Money? You know we've talked about getting out of this place once we're out of school and working. If it's financial safety you're looking for-"

"Are you hearing yourself?" the bus came to a halt in front of them.

"If you think that the Potters would accept you more than I, when I have proven my loyalty time and time again to you over the past years, you're dead wrong. You realize that you would ruin their only chance at a pureblood offspring," Severus had obviously thought about this quite some time as he hissed the arguments at her. Lily simply rolled her eyes at him as she made to get on the bus.

"Who even talks like that, Severus?" she turned on the step to face him one last time, "I'm seventeen for crying out loud and I'm going to whatever the bloody hell I want!" And with that, the doors closed behind her. Lily's heart pounded angrily in her chest, but she managed to ignore the way Severus Snape kept staring at the moving bus until they finally turned the next corner.

After Lily returned from her shift late at night, she ran upstairs to her room and breathlessly sat down at her desk to write down the words:

 _Dear James,_

 _Have you received your exam marks yet? I hope you're having a good summer._

 _-Lily_

It took her another two weeks to send them.


	10. Potions Queen

**A/N: Ten chapters! Woop woop! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed and followed/favourited this story. I love you.**

* * *

Six days had passed since Lily had written to James. Her small, fluffy grey owl Agnetha had returned shortly after she had sent the letter, but no reply had been tied to her feet. What had however arrived the morning after Lily's communication efforts was a thick envelope from Hogwarts that held her exam results. Lily felt highly embarrassed after she had opened the letter, not because of her grades (she had excelled at everything and now held the confirmation that she had indeed inspected a niffler in her Care of Magical Creatures exam), but because her attempt at starting an aloof conversation with Potter had been ruined. He was sure to think that she was either so grade-crazy that she couldn't hold out a single more day without writing to someone that wasn't even really her friend about exam marks, that she was immodestly nosy about his grades, or that she was just too blatantly stupid to understand the concept of everyone receiving their marks simultaneously. By now, Lily was convinced that it was a combination of all three. She kept playing the scene of James receiving the letter, snorting at its content and throwing it onto a big pile of snitch-embellished laundry over and over again in her head, cringing in embarrassment at the thought. She was in the middle of contemplating a transfer to Ilvermorny, when her mother called for dinner.

"There's our stellar student!" her father Frank Evans beamed up at her from the newspaper he was reading at the set dinner table as she entered the small parlour. Lily's pink lips cracked into a wide grin at her father's pride, but she also didn't fail to notice Petunia's eyes rolling out of sight under her fringe.

"Couldn't you put on something a little bit nicer for a change?" Petunia huffed at her, crossing her skinny legs and elbowy arms in distain. Lily furrowed her brows.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" she tucked at her black "The Clash" shirt and followed Petunia's gaze that eyed her younger sister's jean shorts in distaste.

"I usually wouldn't give a flea's bottom about how you choose to dress yourself in that grimy second-hand garb, but today Vernon is coming over for dinner and I would just like everyone to look like civil human beings for a change," Petunia announced while taking in her complexion through the reflection of a tea spoon.

"What does Vernon care about how I look?" Lily mumbled, but her father gave her a stern look beyond the rim of his paper. He didn't like it at all when his darling daughters bickered, and ever since Vernon had entered the picture he had felt the number of pleasant family evenings rapidly declining. At that moment, Rose Evans stepped into the living room from the adjacent kitchen, ladle in hand, and looked Lily up and down.

"Why don't you do your sister a favour and put on one of those pretty dresses you sewed last week, Lily-pie," she chirped in an obnoxiously high voice. Lily noticed that her mother was dressed as if she and her father were going out for their anniversary. Something was very strange. Vernon came over for dinner at least once a week these days and was annoyingly present in between, so Lily didn't understand what the fuss was about. She crossed her arms in front of her chest, unconsciously mimicking Petunia's gist.

"Fine," Lily huffed and hopped upstairs to change. While changing into a bright green tent dress, she thought about just how stupid Vernon Dursley was. She didn't despise him, but merely found him somewhat irritating and incredibly boring. He didn't take any risks, wouldn't even go to a mystery viewing at the cinema, and in general had his life all planned out. He was currently at an entry level job at a company that produced drills and somehow Lily found that even this was a too exciting tool for Vernon to be spending his days with. He would be better suited for a company that produced snooze buttons for alarm clocks. But what Lily disliked most about him, was that he made Petunia boring. In previous summers, the two sisters had camped underneath the stars in their back yard and took the train to London to see a new band they both were wild about. Lily had to admit that it was mostly her who came up with these excursions, but Petunia excelled at lying to their parents about which friend's house they were sleeping over at and took charge when things didn't go as planned. But now Petunia was nineteen, nearly twenty and soon to be married and the two had grown further and further apart.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang and Lily was whipped out of her contemplation. As she returned downstairs, Vernon already stood in the hallway.

"Hello Lily, nice to see you again," Vernon Dursley blubbered monotonously, stretching out his hand in greeting as if he were just making her acquaintance for the first time.

"Hullo Vernon," Lily shook his hand politely for the umpteenth time, taking in the well-fed man-child in front of her. Vernon was sporting a cream-coloured shirt underneath a neat brown suit that did nothing to positively accentuate his pudding-esque features.

"Come in, come in," Frank Evans voice boomed as he entered the hallway to embrace his future son in law while Vernon promptly held out his hand again like one of the iron statues in Hogwarts. There was a short power struggle between the two men, which Frank won as he finally held the stiff-figured young man in his arms.

"Vernon, lovely to see you," Rose Evans kissed him on one cheek and swiftly returned to the kitchen to reappear momentarily, heaving a large roast, "Lily- potatoes, carrots, sauce, go!" Lily jumped up to carry in the rest of the steaming bowls from the kitchen.

"This all looks wonderful, Mrs. Evans," Vernon stated curtly, but politely, as his small eyes widened at the sight of the roast.

"Yes, mother, it truly does look wonderful," Petunia echoed, clearly pleased.

"Oh don't mention it, I was happy to," Rose sat down cheerfully next to her husband, "how about a toast, darling?"

"Ahem, yes," Frank cleared his throat, caught in the act of gobbling down a buttery carrot that he had swiftly snatched up with his fingers, "Ah, hot, erm, yes. A toast to my lovely wife and daughters, oh- I meant- right, to the happy couple that is soon to be wed!"

"Hear hear," the glasses of cheap white wine clinked and Lily didn't care to inquire why she wasn't poured sparkling water as usual. Two minutes into dinner, Vernon was already intently illustrating recent changes in the drill market and Lily had to hide her smile as her father poured them both a second glass from the green tinted bottle while her mother cast them a disapproving frown, followed by a wink. As she was eating her potatoes and carrots (she was a vegetarian to Petunia's annoyance), Lily felt her cheeks growing warmer.

"So while most common people believe that the drill will not persist past the turn of the century, I beg to differ. You see, the first portable handheld drills were created back in 1895 by the Fein brothers; two German's if you can believe it. Some argue that this advance eventually led them to be so successful in the war-" Suddenly, Vernon and the dozing Evans were interrupted by a soft _tap, tap, tap_ emerging from the parlour window, "What in God's name-"

"Lily!" screeched Petunia while Lily's eyes snapped back into focus to recognise a large spotted owl sitting on their windowsill between the flower pots, gently pecking at the glass. Lily pushed her chair back so quickly that it toppled over and rushed over to the window.

"You better not get near that," Vernon Dursley's voice trembled, "I've heard all sorts of things about the fowl plague on the news recently, and it's not safe to-"

"Lily, don't you dare let that stinking bird in!" Petunia hollered over her fiancé while Lily made to fully pull aside their bright yellow parlour curtains.

"Sweetheart, don't you think it would be better to receive the letter after dinner?" Her mother Rose asked calmly.

"Ah, let her have it," Frank chimed in giddily, always excited at the arrival of a new owl species, "maybe it's the news about the head girl title! My, look at the size of that gem. It must be a Eurasion eagle owl, never seen one before, but with a height of over half a metre, blimley-"

"Dad!" Petunia's shrill voice sounded through the room.

"Tuney, could you quiet down for just a sec, you're scaring him," Lily tentatively opened the window and let the bird scramble onto her arm.

"Good luck scaring the Norwegian giant," their father chuckled.

"Frank," their mother hooted, trying to telepathically make her husband shush.

"Let me at least have a look at him," Frank got up to join his youngest daughter by the window, "Oh, look, fancy parchment there."

" _Frank_ ," Rose hissed and finally got his attention, utterly aware of Vernon's derailed facial features at the sight of the giant bird in their dining room. Petunia had her face dug deep into her palms.

"Ah right, better take it upstairs then Lily-pie," Frank gently pushed his red-headed daughter towards the hallway. "And then come back downstairs to dinner right away," he added as he saw the identical looks his eldest daughter and his wife threw in his direction. Lily's eyes gleamed green as she gently carried the large bird towards and up the stairway. She knew that this was not any ordinary Hogwart's owl. As she opened the door to her bedroom, she could already hear Agnetha cooing in her cage. Petunia had asked her to lock her beloved owl up whenever Vernon came to visit. Suddenly, the bird on her arm started fluffing up his feathers at the sight of Agnetha and was quickly becoming too large for Lily to carry.

"Cut it out, you fat owl," Lily placed him on the sill of her open window and gently tried to loosen the parchment around the bird's ankle, "just hold still for a minute, and then you can hang out with Agnetha for a while if you want." At that, the owl instantly changed his mannerisms and held so still that he could be mistaken for a stuffed animal if it weren't for the nervous clacking that emerged from his beak every once in a while. Lily finally managed to pry off the parchment from his leg. She tore open the seal and started to unroll the parchment. Lily's heart started racing as she recognized James' narrow sloppy handwriting.

 _Dear Li-_

"Lily, are you coming?" her mother hollered up the stairs.

"Just a moment!" Lily's voice pleaded.

" _Now._ " The urgency in her mother's voice was indisputable and so a beyond frustrated Lily rolled the parchment back up and stuffed it into the pocket of her dress. Before exiting her room, she quickly opened Agnetha's cage door in vengeance and could only roll her eyes at her fluffy grey owl, which excitedly hopped onto the window sill and commenced to excitedly chatter at Potter's bird, which squawked less but rather seemed mesmerized by his new friend.

"There you are darling, sit back down won't you?" Rose Evans was nervously ladling seconds onto everyone's plates, "Petunia was just telling Vernon about your owl-training class." Lily picked her chair back up off the ground and sat back down.

"They have all sorts of wacky extra-curriculars at her nutty school," Petunia snapped.

"Petunia," her father warned.

"Fascinating," Vernon's mouth smiled, but his eyes didn't get the memo so he appeared rather out of it.

"Right, more wine?" Frank poured another round and soon after, Vernon resumed his history lesson on all things drills and most of the Evan's eyes glazed over. The crisp parchment was burning a hole into Lily's pocket. Could she sneak a glance? The wine was making her giddy and somewhat reckless. Trying not to cause any movement, Lily's protruded the letter from her pocket and slowly unrolled it under the table.

 _Dear Lily,_

 _Thank you for your letter! I'm sorry for not writing earlier. Sirius ran away from home and it took me a few days to find him in London and convince him to come live with my family. If I didn't know any better, I would assume he'd want to live on the street rather than spend a few weeks of summer at my house. He's such a stubborn bastard sometimes, but don't tell him I said that._

 _Did you hear about the attacks in Newcastle upon Tyne? I'm not sure of how in the loop you are during the holidays, but a young family of four was Imperiused and now killed. The father was apparently working for a muggle ministry and the Dark Army was using him to collect insight on the proceedings of the muggle government. The Ministry for Magic has already dispatched a team of over fifteen aurors to find the responsible malefactors, but so far all the people they've brought in for questioning had reasonable alibis. Sometimes I feel like ever since Minchum took up office, lots of shady people get holed up in Azkaban, but the incidents aren't subsiding. Makes me wonder about how legitimate his new sentence enforcement system truly is. I know that many people found Jenkins to be too soft, but as Minister for Magic she at least never turned against the innocents in the hopes of catching a crook during friendly fire._

 _All this stuff happening just makes me wish we were already out of Hogwarts and fighting in the war. I always thought that I would be interested in joining the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, but these days I'm afraid of sitting behind a desk while the world how I know it is being torched. Have you thought further about what comes next for you? Still set on being a healer?_

 _Oh, and I've received my marks a couple of days ago. Haven't you? They're probably waiting until school resumes to hand you your report card in a ceremony dedicated solely to your bookish wits. Slughorn will sing an anthem titled "Lily Evans, Potions Queen (though muggle-born)". Can't you just picture him on top of the podium, his toupee swaying to the beat?_

 _I'm pretty happy about my grades, I did alright this year._

 _As in, I received an O in every subject._

 _I know, I know, I have a big fat head. But come on woman, an O in everything!_

 _We're heading to Diagon Alley second to last weekend before school starts, so maybe we'll see each other then? Or I'll just see you around when school starts._

 _A thousand kisses from Sirius (have I mentioned he's a bastard?) and a high-five from my side,_

 _James_

"LILY!" she was whipped out of her state of trance, "I'm talking to you!" Petunia, her parents and Vernon were all facing her. Lily quickly rolled up the parchment, her hands still shaking from giddiness.

"What's up?" she couldn't help the huge smile plastered across her face.

"Sweetheart," her mother said pointedly, "Your sister has just asked you to be her maid of honour."

"Oh," Lily was stunned for a second, "Ohhh! I would love to, Petunia!" She jumped up to embrace her sister and then Vernon. Petunia was stiff at first, but relaxed soon and even broke into a small smile as she saw Lily tackling her fiancé.

"Well, you'll have to bring a date," Petunia said curtly as she watched her younger sister slump back into her chair, "So try to avoid bringing anyone too freakish, will you?"

"I'll do my best," Lily breathed, her eyes sparkling at the challenge, "Mum, can we go to Diagon Alley next weekend?"


	11. Another Letter

She was going to see him. Today.

Lily's head and heart were a racing mess as she stood in front of her closet, growing more frustrated by the minute. Had she ever owned anything at all worth wearing, ever? Right now, she found that hard to believe; every single article of clothing she owned looked bland at best to her.

"Petunia!" Lily called over her shoulder, holding on to the door handles of her closet as if they were saving her from drowning. A shuffling outside of her bedroom announced her sister's presence.

"What is it, Lils? I really don't have time to chat right now, I'm off to meet the girls for lunch," Petunia informed her as she stuck her head into the small room. She was dressed in a sky-blue shift dress and her plain brown hair was twisted into a pristine bun.

"I have nothing to wear," Lily wined while she scrunched her nose at an old pair of chequered wool pants that she threw onto an already large pile of discarded clothes in the corner of her room, "next time I decide that monochrome prints would look good with my thighs, stop me, will you? With force if necessary."

"Gladly! Well, I'm sorry you don't have anything nice to wear, but not at all surprised I'm afraid. How long have I been preaching to you that mum and dad could spend a little more money on our wardrobes occasionally?"

"Uh... three years tops?" Lily guessed.

"You always did have a tough time handling the rhetorical," tutted Petunia. Lily stuck her tongue out at her.

"Petunia, I'm serious! All the dresses I sewed this summer are in the washer and now I really need to borrow something from you. I know for a fact that you bought a bunch of cute new clothes with the money you got from working in the flower shop on Amsterdam Road. Speaking of, that dress you're wearing is looking awfully new to me as well. Pretty please can I pick something out something of yours?" At Lily's pleas, Petunia just let out a cackling laugh.

"Maybe I judged too quickly as you must be kidding," Petunia chortled and started to turn on her heel, "or out of your mind for that matter!"

"No! Wait. It's important, Tuney. Please?" Lily begged, intertwining her fingers as if in innocent prayer. Her elder sister threw a glance over her shoulder, raising an eyebrow at Lily.

"Important? What on earth could be so important that you would need to borrow my clothes?"

"Well you seem, Mum's taking me to Diagon Alley," Lily tried to explain.

"Buh-bye now."

"No, wait! Well, if you must know, I'm hoping to run into someone while we're there," Lily shared unenthusiastically.

This would be a feast for her sister, who always teased her about her lack of interest in boys and dating. It wasn't that Lily didn't date, but she just didn't want to go out with someone for the hell of it. She felt that the "friend" part of the word was just important as the "boy" part, and every guy she went out with ended up boring her a bit by the time they had had their first butter beer at the Three Broomsticks. Even Lucas Shelby, the beyond gorgeous seeker from Hufflepuff she went out with a couple of times this past fall, couldn't hold a conversation that didn't involve school or people from school. That's why Lily always loved going to Hogsmeade with Severus. She could talk to him for hours about topics that were far beyond their everyday lives; they discussed complex magical theory, current politics, and even literature. The only problem was of course that she was not attracted to Severus one bit- even though that would've made things a lot easier for the both of them. He also never really made her laugh in a "pumpkin juice out of your nostrils" sort of way. Not that he hadn't tried. Severus, however, found it funny to laugh about others- a quality they did not share. Now of course, looks and laughs were the least of their problems.

After Lily had confessed, she had finally gotten Petunia's attention. The slender girl turned to face her younger sister whilst still gazing out of the window with ostentation and heavy lids, as if consequentially bored out of her mind by this information.

"Listening," Petunia yawned demonstratively.

"Okay... So perhaps there's a boy," Lily blurted out.

"I'm shocked," Petunia said mockingly, a triumphant smile playing on her lips, "who knew that Lily Evans could descend from her wild unicorn to join the rest of us mere mortals and actually fancy someone? Don't tell me- is he a vampire? A werewolf? Ooh, wait, a cyclops? Don't start getting ordinary now, freaky freak!" Lily rolled her eyes at her sister in annoyance.

"No, it's a real live boy, Geppetto."

"Fascinating," Petunia assessed.

"Come on, Tuney! You were the one that said I should bring a date to your wedding. You know, I'm doing this all for you," Lily fluttered her eyelashes in generous obedience.

"Oh is that really so? Well, I would prefer it if you brought someone that doesn't quite resemble that hideous Snape boy," Petunia mused, seemingly very comfortable in her position of power, "what exactly did you plan on borrowing?"

"Um. Your denim skirt with the buttons down the front and, and... yurabashrt," Lily mumbled quickly.

"My what now?" Petunia's eyebrows nearly touched the ceiling.

"Your... your... Your ABBA shirt?" Lily whispered in fear.

"What!?"

"The white one with the gold letters?"

"I know which one you mean, pumpkin head" Petunia snapped, "and you have obviously lost your wits."

"I'll do anything," Lily pleaded, dramatically falling onto her knees in front of her sister. Petunia looked Lily up and down, now seemingly intrigued.

"Anything?"

"Yes!" Lily's face lit up, "See, I could do your share of the dishes for the rest of the summer!"

"For another whole two weeks? Very generous of you, but I'll pass. But I could think of something..." Petunia examined Lily intently with her eyes.

"Uh-huh?" Lily feared what was to come. Petunia seemed to be fighting with herself, tugging at her dress, perhaps embarrassed of what she was going to ask of Lily.

"Well… I want a winter wonderland wedding, Lils," Petunia allowed.

"I know that, Tuney. It's going to be beautiful! I'm so happy that I get to be your maid of honour!" Petunia held up her hand to stop her from continuing.

"Lily, listen to me for a second. It's not going to be a winter wonderland if there's ugly and grey December drizzle. You know how my hair frizzes up at the mere mention of humidity on the news. Well, I'm wondering if you could... I need you to try... I need you to make it snow," Petunia said uncertainly, purposefully staring out of the window again. Lily's heart sank.

"Oh, Tuney, I-I wish I could. That's a really powerful spell. I'm not nearly advanced enough to-" Petunia's face fell instantly and then her eyes formed to slits, her expression viscous.

"What are they teaching you at that school?" Petunia snapped, "I thought you're always bringing home such good grades, the way dad raves about you. Are they just handing those out to everyone? Or are you faking your scores?"

"Petunia, I really wish I could... But magic doesn't work like that. You need to train for a long long time to change meteorologic events. Only very few wizards and witches are powerful enough to master the spell. But hey, now that I think of it, I do know someone who can make it snow inside! Would that help?"

"That's not natural, Lily. I don't want anyone to think- to think that I'm associated with freaks!" Petunia spat and raced out of the room. Lily was hurt at her sister's words but quickly followed her to the room next door, thinking on her feet.

"Lily, I would appreciate it if you left me alone, I'm late already to meet the girls," Petunia sniffed.

"Look Tunes, I know I can't give you snow. But how about tons and tons of white roses? You love those! And- and I could make them all glitter. I know how to do those spells." Petunia stood at her desk, her back turned towards Lily and her expression a mystery. After a minute of silence between them, Petunia finally stirred.

"I want my headpiece to glitter as well," Petunia's voice was quiet, but firm. Lily broke out into a wide smile, a flood of relief flushing over her.

"Absolutely. You're shoes too, if you want!" She finally got Petunia to turn around and to even grant a small smile. Suddenly, Petunia walked over to her closet, rummaged around for a bit, and wordlessly handed Lily the skirt and the shirt she had asked for.

"Here, these wedges will go well with the outfit," Petunia cleared her throat.

"Thanks, Tunes," Lily breathed in sharply as she took the beautiful shoes from her sister's hands, "you're a superstar!"

"Get out of my room now."

"Alright then!" Lily's mood couldn't be dampened and she hopped back over to her room to change. Her sister's clothes fit her very well. Once she had put everything on, she examined herself in the full-length mirror in the upstairs hallway.

"Mamma Mia," she whistled as she took in her reflection, "You're a lady, Lily Evans! Who'd have thunk it?"

"Lils, are you talking to yourself again?" she heard Petunia's voice calling from downstairs. Lily quickly locked herself into the tiny upstairs bathroom and attempted applying black eyeliner without Dorcas' help. Thirteen fails later, it didn't turn out half bad and Lily contently exited the bathroom.

"Lily-bean, we also need to get going!" Rose Evans called from downstairs and as Lily rushed to meet her, "sweet Queen of England, what's happened to my little girl? Lily, what in God's name are you wearing?"

"What? This belongs to Tuney! If she's allowed to wear it-"

"Yes yes, no need to further discuss. I vividly remember fighting with your sister over that skirt, I'm through with you girls. I suppose this has to do with the boy you're hoping to meet at Diagon Alley?"

"Mum, just because I confided in you, doesn't mean you get to make fun of me now!"

"Oh sweety, I'm not! You look stunning, honestly. Almost too beautiful for your own good. I don't want to know what happens in that castle, a bunch of teenagers running around... I remember my youth, and I can tell you that-"

"Don't, mum. Please, I don't want to hear about how you snogged Dean Digby and half the football team before you decided on dad right now."

"It was Dean Dalby, actually," Rose Evans winked, "and at least three-quarters of the football team."

"Mum!"

"Alright then, let's get going shall we? We need to catch the 9 o'clock train after all. Oh, and here's the letter with the list of school books. It's really heavy this year, isn't it? Well, it makes sense that you would need a lot of books to study for N.E.W.T.s."

Lily had completely forgotten about her letter from Hogwarts. It had come during her shift at the movie theatre yesterday. She remembered her mother telling her about it, but she had been so exhausted that she hadn't thought about it any further that evening. She delicately took the heavy letter from her mother's hands, breathing slowly as she opened it. She pulled out the several parchments the envelope held, but there was still something heavy remaining at the bottom of it. Lily knew exactly what this meant. She was in trance. She unfolded the parchments, skipping past the long list of books she needed for her N.E.W.T classes to the next page.

* * *

 _Dear Ms. Evans,_

 _I am pleased to inform you that Prof. Albus Dumbledore, along with the unanimous support of the teaching staff at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, has appointed you the position of Head Girl._

 _Your first task will commence on the 1st of September. You are asked to kindly lead the annual Premier Prefects Meeting that transpires on the Hogwarts Express. As you took part during the last two meetings of this kind, I expect you to be sufficiently prepared. Please find enclosed a guiding list of topics that are to be addressed during this meeting. However, as Head Girl you are free to adjust and add to this in accordance with your best judgement. You are furthermore asked to meet Prof. Dumbledore on the 2nd of September together with this year's Head Boy to discuss your position and further awaiting tasks._

 _Congratulations, Lily. I could not be prouder to have a student of my house representing Hogwarts as Head Girl, and such an exceptional witch as yourself on both academic and social accounts at that. You have truly earned this._

 _Yours Sincerely,_

 _Minvera McGonagall_

 _Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry_

* * *

"By Merlin's knotty beard," Lily murmured, a thousand thoughts running through her head.

"What is it, sweetheart?" Rose Evans shut the clasps of her purse. Lily dug around in the envelope and held up the golden badge for her mother to see.

"They've made me Head Girl, Mum."

Rose quietly took the heavy pin from her daughter's hand and stared at it, frowning. For a strange moment, Lily thought her mother was going to be angry. But then Rose Evan's eyes met her daughter's, and Lily saw that her mother was crying.

"Mum, are you alright?" Lily didn't know what to think. But then, her mother smiled a smile that lit up her entire face and with it the room around her. A smile that Lily had inherited.

"Lily Jane Evans, you have no idea how proud you make me every single day. Oh, my little girl!" and with that, mother and daughter embraced each other tightly, the golden badge falling to the floor.


	12. Diagon Alley

"...Three up," Lily's tongue hung out slightly while she counted the worn bricks, "and one, no, two across. There!" The massive bricked wall stirred and creaked as the old stones gradually morphed into an archway, illuminating the entrance to the magically hidden Diagon Alley.

"Oh isn't this just the most marvellous street in all of London?" Rose Evans gushed as both she and her daughter craned their necks to take in the bustling little street that was now laid out in front of them, "I really wish I could come in through this entrance on my own. Every time I want to secretly buy you a Christmas gift, I need to use the McKinnon's floo connection! They are so sweet to let me use their fire place, though. Where do you want to go first, sweetheart?"

"Flourish and Blotts!" Lily yelled out immediately, as if she was a four-year-old eyeing a candy shop.

"Now darling, I believe we should visit Madam Malkin's first. You are in dire need of a new uniform, especially now that you're representing the whole student body!"

"Mum, I'm not representing the students, I'm ruling over them!" Lily joked and laughed menacingly while she brought the tips of her fingers together, "Alright, Madam Malkins it is. But afterwards to Blotts! Ooh, and to Ink Incorporated. I really need a new notebook to write down everything from prefects meetings to Christmas decorations! Oh, I'm so excited, mummy!" Lily's passionate chatter was side-tracked for moment when she saw her mother's worried expression as she counted the wad of pound bills she would have to exchange at Gringotts.

"But, now that I think of it, I do still have that Muggle Studies notebook from last year that I hardly took any notes in at all. I could just take out the marked pages and it will be as good as new!" Her mother looked up from her wallet and into her daughter's apologetic eyes.

"Sweetheart, don't be ridiculous," her mother said sweetly, but sternly, "You were made head girl and your father and I are happy to reward this achievement as best as we can."

"Yes, but two scoops of ice cream are plenty," Lily smiled cheerfully, took her mother by the arm and the both of them headed past all the wonderfully enchanting shops and towards Gringotts. As they passed Ollivander's, Lily relished in the memory of her and her parents stepping into the store for the first time when she was just 11 years old. After trying a couple of different ones, Ollivander had handed her a beautiful delicate wand that shot out silver sparks at her touch, and at 10 ¼ in length the slender piece of willow had not yet disappointed her once. Especially when doing charm work, Lily found that her being at the top of the class was as much the wand's work as hers. She would never trade it in, not even for one hundred fluffy grey owls. And she loved those damned fluffy owls.

As mother and daughter were about to head inside of the grand marble building that was Gringotts Wizarding Bank, Lily heard a familiar voice to her left calling out her name.

"Lily?" None other than grinning Sirius Black was lounging on marble steps, his face illuminated by the sunlight. He wore one of James' chequered flannel shirts over a grey t-shirt, the arms rolled up to show the pale skin of his arms.

"Oh, hi Sirius," Lily grinned back at him widely as she recognized the boy, while her mother's face had turned to a question mark, "Are you hoping that people will drop a few coins into your lap on their way out?" Sirius laughed in a bark and stood up to embrace her.

"Good to see you, Lily. And this must be your sister. Petunia, was it?" Lily tried to hide her smile as her mother turned slightly pink and held a shaking hand to her chest.

"Oh by all means, what a nice young man you are," Rose Evans sang, her eyelids fluttering as she pushed a few strands of hair out of her face, "I assume you go to school with my Lily?"

"Yeah mum, this is Sirius. He's also in Gryffindor with me, in my year," Lily giggled as Mrs. Evans shook Sirius' hand in trance, "What are you up to out here all by yourself, Black? You look like you haven't been outside of the house all summer. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, everything's just peachy," Sirius waved her off, "I'm just waiting for-"

"Sirius! Mum said I could wait out here with you, as long a-" Lily's heart skipped a beat when she heard the deep voice that made her entire body tremble against her will, "Blimey, Evans." She turned around to face James, but his eyes did not meet hers. They were preoccupied with her legs.

"Prongs," Sirius initiated, emphasizing his words to refocus James' attention, "Meet. Lily's. Mother." James' gaze whipped back up and his cheeks turned rather flush as he noticed Rose Evans standing next to her bare-legged daughter.

"Oh! Er, lovely to meet you!" James stepped forward to shake Rose's hand, "Lily's mother? No, Sirius, this is Petunia." Rose Evans let out a longing sigh while Lily rolled her eyes at the boys' unapologetic routine. But she couldn't help grinning nonetheless.

"Mum, this is James. He's also in my year in Gryffindor."

"James. James? Ahh, James! Wonderful," her mother's eyes were glazed over, looking back and forth between James and Sirius, both towering over the Evans women.

"Mum," Lily hissed tellingly, "didn't we want to go inside to exchange some money?"

"What?" Mrs. Evans gave her head a slight shake, "Oh, yes. Indeed we were. Sweetheart, why don't you stay out here and play with- er- talk to your friends here."

"Are you sure?" Lily looked uncertainly at James and then at Sirius. Sirius in turn stared at James, seemingly trying to solve an advanced mathematical equation in his head as he tried to figure what his best friend unconsciously wanted him to do.

"Oh, absolutely, sweetheart! I've done this a few times before, after all," Rose Evans winked playfully at her daughter as she made to step inside of the building.

"I'll join you!" Sirius suddenly blurted out.

"Um?" Mrs. Evans looked back at the boy in confusion. She wasn't the only one irritated with Sirius' behaviour.

"Padfoot, what are you doing?" groaned James.

"Why would you help my mother exchange money, Sirius?" Lily asked nonplussed.

"Not help her, but escort her!" Sirius exclaimed determinately as Mrs. Evans' face lit up, "I've never really seen muggle money before you know- with the pure-blood muggle-hating household I've grown up in and the sort- and it happens to be a real interest of mine." Lily squinted at him in annoyance while James looked clueless and Sirius just raised his shoulders in innocence.

"Oh, I'd be more than happy to show you the currency. I remember the first time Lily and I exchanged Knuts and Sickles, it was so exciting!" Rose Evans was overjoyed at the prospect.

"And Galleons?" Sirius suggested.

"Hm, we haven't had those yet," Rose shook her head, puzzled. Sirius saw Lily's expression and caught on quickly.

"Oh, they're not all that exciting anyway. Knuts and Sickles are the best ones," and with that Sirius followed Mrs. Evans into the impressive marble entrance of the wizarding bank. Lily returned her gaze to James, whose focus had shifted back to her bare legs and she had to grin.

"Hey Potter, stop looking at my knees," she smiled, "I know how knobbly they are."

"Oh! Sorry," James gaze shot back up, his cheeks flushed. "It's just..."

"That I have freckles on my ankles? I know, it's freaky. They're everywhere."

"No, not that, er, but thanks for the heads up," James gaze kept wandering and Lily bit her bottom lip, "By Merlin's beard, Evans, what are you wearing?"

"Um, a skirt?" she breathed in sharply. He hadn't been this direct with her in a while, "What about it?"

"I like your legs," he suddenly blurted out. Lily raised one eyebrow.

"What?"

"I meant skirt," James said apologetically. Lily's resting eyebrow joined the other.

"Excuse me? You like my skirt? What's wrong with you, Potter."

"I meant shirt!" James responded hastily, his hand racing to mess up his hair.

"Um, thanks I guess," Lily smiled, unsure of what to make of this nervous and unedited version of James that bore a distinct resemblance of his fifteen-year-old self. They stood there in silence for a moment, cheeks flushed, perhaps due to the hot blazing sun.

"Hey, I wanted to say thank you for the letter you sent me," Lily found her voice.

"Oh, no problem!" James responded in an overtly cordial tone, "Thanks for writing back. Now that I have you here, what on earth did you do to Keats?"

"Huh?"

"He's been hooting this whiney ass song at night ever since he came back from your house, staring at me like I'm evil or something."

Lily had to laugh, "Now that I think of it, my bird has been quite moody of late as well. I think they've become friends of sorts?"

"Well, that explains a lot then," James grinned down at her, "So, Evans, any news? Been made head girl yet?"

Lily blushed, "Hey, how did you know that?" James laughed.

"Oh, just a feeling," the handsome boy casually leaned against the marble wall of Gringotts, holding his hand to his forehead to shade his eyes from the sun. He looked at her intently and Lily found it difficult to hold his gaze. He seemed so collected and stoic while eyeing her and she felt a thousand thoughts rushing through her head while a thousand feelings sped through her heart. She could have stood there forever with him, just smiling at each other in the sunlight. Their moment, however, was soon interrupted.

"Jamesie!" the name-bearer's face fell instantly, "I've got this years' allowance for you right here. Now remember, there's a little more because of Sirius. He wouldn't accept anything of course, but if you have an eye out for his expenses you should both be fine with this- Oh, hello! Who is this lovely young lady, then?" a handsome elderly woman with jet black hair wearing a large gold necklace with a lion pendant beamed from her son to Lily.

"Lily, this is my mother," James said regretfully, "Mum, meet Lily Evans."

"Ohh!" his mother gushed and James closed his eyes, mortified, "The one and only Ms. Evans! It is so lovely to finally meet you! I don't know if there's anything left you could tell me that my son hasn't already mentioned about you." Lily laughed light-heartedly and was surprised at James' embarrassment.

"Oh, I hope that isn't true, Mrs. Potter," Lily brightly shook her hand, now worried that her skirt was too short after all, "it's so lovely to meet you as well. I can see where James gets his charms from."

"I'm sure you meant where he get his rugged good looks from!" Lily had to laugh at Mrs. Potter's booming yet charismatic fierceness.

"Ah yes, those too of course," Lily returned Mrs. Potter's grin and James wore an expression that resembled someone in midst of hugging an acromantula, "I'm going to just slip inside for a second and see if my mother needs any help."

"Of course, dear," Mrs. Potter said politely while James muttered something along the lines of "save yourself while you still can".

As Lily stepped into the grand entrance hall of Gringotts, she almost collided with her mother and Sirius.

"Oh, hey Lily, look your mum gave me a penny! So shiny-"

" _Out_!" Lily gestured and Sirius glided out of the large doors while Rose examined her daughter.

"Lily-pie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, mum," Lily sighed, "I just met James' mother outside and I needed a moment to breathe. Did everything go alright in here?"

"Oh, of course! What a lovely boy that Sirius is. But James is the one you're interested in? I must say, he is so handsome... and so polite! Why didn't you bring him by earlier, darling? You know I was always so proud of you for bringing home those good grades, but now that I see what you're surrounded with at school, I must say I find it even more of an achievement!"

"Shh!" Lily whispered, "don't shout out that I like James Potter, mum! And he wasn't always that... polite. Oh, it doesn't matter now. Can we hide here until they leave?"

"Lily Jane Evans, I did not raise you to be a coward. Move it!" Rose set her hand on Lily's back and shoved her outside.

"Oh, there she is again!" Mrs. Potter beamed, "I was afraid I'd scared you off with the way James here put it!"

" _Mum,_ could you try and not-"

"Hello again. This is my mother, Rose," Lily introduced and the women shook hands, both beaming.

"Just wonderful to meet you! I am Euphemia Potter," the kind woman boomed. Rose looked at the other woman's expensive clothes and jewellery in awe, pulling at her own cream-coloured pants.

"So lovely to meet another parent," Rose's eyes twinkled and she added with pride, "We're heading to Madam Malkins now! We still need to purchase some new robes for my Ms. Head Girl over here."

"Oh, how wonderful!" Mrs. Potter exclaimed, "Congratulations. Truly, what an honour! You know, I was head girl in my seventh year at Hogwarts. It was such fun! Not that I could ever hope for one of these idiots to bring home such praise."

"Congrats, Lily," Sirius grinned.

"Thanks," Lily smiled sheepishly, "hey, do you guys know if Remus was made head boy?"

"Not as far as I know," Sirius said.

"I wonder who it is," Lily pondered.

"Ah, who cares," James chimed in cheerily, "you're going to rule the school on your own aren't you, Evans? A male sidekick's only gonna slow you down."

Lily had to laugh, "Perhaps you're right, Potter."

After waving goodbye to the boys and Mrs. Potter, Rose dragged her daughter to buy her school uniform. Her mother of course had been right, and her measurements had changed somewhat. While her mother was occupied with paying and chatting to Madam Malkins about bell-bottom pants and other trends, Lily hopped over to Flourish and Blotts.

As she walked through the rows and rows of bookshelves, Lily breathed in the cool dusty air and felt calmness wash over her. She loved being in the presence of books. They held magic regardless if their content was meant for wizards or muggles and whenever she opened one she felt like she could understand the description of what it felt like to dive into a pensieve. In the back of the store Lily found a secluded corner.

After she had fully immersed herself in "Charms by Chance" for about half an hour, a creaking sound gave her the notion that she was not alone. Lily looked up. Behind a shelf towards the wall opposite to her, she recognized a mess of dark hair peaking through a series of especially dusty non-fiction.

"James?" The mop of hair swiftly ducked behind the shelves. Lily rolled her eyes but had to smile, "James, you can come out now. For goodness sake, I see you." A cough sounded and then James Potter stepped out from the rack.

"Er, sorry. I just didn't want to disturb you," he walked up to the stool she was sitting on.

"Well, if you didn't want to disturb me, you shouldn't have stalked me, don't you think?" she teased him.

"Oh Evans, always flattering yourself," he teased back, "but no, I really wanted to talk to you." He sat himself on the carpet in front of her and Lily had to shift her knees to avoid flashing him her knickers.

"What's up?" she asked, now intrigued.

"How are things going this summer? Is it tough with Snape around all the time?" Lily was not expecting this and she didn't know if she should be a little annoyed at Potter's instant mention of Snape. He seemed to notice her reaction. "Not that I mind if you guys talk or whatever," he added hastily, "just making small talk here."

"Well, if you wanted to talk small, you shouldn't have made it seem like you had something important to say, Potter," she noticed and his eyes avoided hers as she said it, "but the summer's been alright I suppose. I'm working at a movie theatre close to my house, so I'm pretty occupied. You should come by some time!" At the invitation, James' eyes darted in her direction and she instantly felt silly for suggesting that he come visit a beat down cinema that was nowhere near his neighbourhood. What was he going to do there? Watch her work? He could probably buy the theatre if he wanted to.

"Thanks!" he said unsure and suddenly he seemed very stricken, "Listen, Lils. There is something I wanted to talk to you about. I haven't told anyone. Not my mum or dad. Haven't told the boys. Not even Sirius knows. Especially Sirius won't understand."

"James," Lily was now concerned about the deep-in-thought boy in front of her, "what's happened, what have you done?"

"Well I- oh, I thought I could tell you," James pressed his face into his hands.

Lily touched his shoulder gently, "James, you can tell me anything." He lowered his hands and looked into her green eyes, struggling with something behind his hazel ones.

"You're gonna hate me all over again, I know it," he looked like a hurt deer. Lily was starting to worry about what he was hiding. What on earth could be so bad that he wouldn't even tell Sirius? Had he stolen something? Hurt someone? Lily became afraid, not sure of what she could forgive. Were they about to lose everything all over again?

"James, if you don't tell me, I can't help you," Lily sighed, "what's going on?"

"Lils, I'm," he looked like he was going to throw up on his shoes, "they've made me, he's made me-"

"By Merlin, who's made you do what?" Lily was freaking out now. Did this have to do with Voldemort?

James looked at her with strained eyes, defeated, "Lily. I'm head boy."

* * *

 **A/N: So... what do you think was the first sentence out of James' mouth when he read his head boy letter?**


	13. Movies

**A/N: Bringing the fluff back. I apologize in advance if it's too fluffy to handle.**

* * *

Lily sat behind the concession counter of the movie theatre, reading the same first three sentences of chapter four in "Charms by Chance" over and over again, without grasping their meaning. Three days ago, she had learned that James Potter was going to be head boy. She should've been thrilled. It had become apparent that in the near future she was going to be spending a lot of time together with the boy she was falling crash and burn in love with. But Lily wasn't daydreaming about intimate scenarios of the two of them spilling over rounds schedules late at night in the secluded prefects staff room. Well, maybe just a few scenarios of the sort were running through her head... and perhaps in them he was pressing her down on the long wooden table set in the centre of the room, wearing his Quidditch uniform while her fingers ran through his messy hair and- okay, perhaps she was thinking about it a lot. But exactly that was her problem! She had finally been made head girl, something she hadn't even dared to dream about, and now she was going to be distracted from her actual duties because her head and her heart went rampage every time she saw his stupidly cute face. On top of that, she couldn't quite convince herself that he'd earned the title like she had. While Lily had done her time in the library and gathered experience during her prefect duties, James had either gone off the grid to work on Merlin-knows-what with his gang of idiots or had been omnipresent in his rule-breaking and bullying escapades.

Either way, Lily couldn't say that she had handled the situation very well, when James had confided in her in the bookshop. In fact- Lily had to shudder at the memory- she had handled it horribly.

* * *

" _You're what?" she was completely dumb-struck_

" _I'm-," James tried._

" _Is this some kind of stupid joke?" she interjected, sounding meaner than she had intended to. James looked truly hurt by her reaction._

" _I didn't ask for this, Lils," he attempted to explain, but she couldn't let it go._

" _Oh, of course you didn't," Lily hissed, "you never ask for anything, do you? James Potter just gets handed things- Quidditch captain, top of the class, friends that would help you bury the body if you murdered someone, no questions asked. I'm sure you never wanted any of that, no, it's all just such a burden to you." She heard the words after they had left her mouth, and horridly she recognized them as Severus'. Did she really believe them after all this time?_

" _Give me a break, Lily! Do you honestly believe I didn't work hard to become captain? That I wouldn't grab a shovel, if Peter or anyone of them messed up?" he defended himself, but she wasn't ready to hear it._

" _Yeah, now that I think of it, I know that you would! Just like you saved Sirius' and your own ass when you got Severus into danger last year. Somehow people always get hurt around you, Potter, but you never had to suffer the consequences," she sneered at him, and they both stood now._

" _Is that what he told you? That I put him in danger?" James asked disbelievingly and gently touched her shoulder, "Lily, it's not true. You know that it's not true." She shoved his hand away, even though she had already suspected that Severus had spun a fair share of the tale to match his convictions._

" _Apparently, I don't know anything," Lily huffed, striding past him towards the cash desk to pay for her book. James tailed behind her._

" _Come on, Evans! I thought you of all people wouldn't react so... so...," he was searching for the word._

" _So what, Potter? You know, I didn't ask for this either, but I'm not going to start whining about how shitty my last year at Hogwarts is going to be, if I'm stuck spending a large part of it with you," she snarled and was satisfied at his agonized expression._

" _You don't have to be such a bitch about it," he said quietly, as if saying it softly would muffle her reaction in turn. It didn't._

" _I'm being a bitch?!" Lily slammed the book down on the cashier's desk together with a few sickles, making the elderly witch tending to her wince, "Well, I can only advise you to get used to it. I can tell you already that it's gonna be a pretty bitchy year for me." With that she turned on her heal and made to leave. Before she exited the door she turned around one last time to look into his resentful complexion, "you know, Potter, some people actually wanted to be in that position. Think about who you're taking this away from before feeling sorry for yourself all year that you "have" to do this."_

* * *

She had been in silent rage on the train during their whole ride home, leaving her mother guessing as to why her daughter's mood had changed so drastically ever since she had returned from her favourite bookshop. She hadn't even been in the mood for ice cream anymore, so Mrs. Evans could only fear the worst. After they had arrived at home, Lily had wordlessly changed into her swimwear and had left the house to head to the lake located just a couple of streets off.

After she had immersed herself into its cool water for about half an hour, the fiery redhead had finally calmed down a bit. As she air-dried herself in the warm late afternoon sun, Lily's rage had turned into acceptance and then into guilt. She had decided then and there to write an apology letter to Potter as soon as she got home. However, later that evening she couldn't muster a single word on paper that would make up for what she had said out loud earlier.

Now three days had passed and Lily still hadn't come up with anything to write to James. She wasn't even really trying anymore, telling herself that she would figure out what to say when she saw him on that 1st of September, a day that would hopefully never come. As people started to exit the cinema, Lily set her book aside in order to appear engaged in her work. She waved goodbye to the Fribblies, a cute couple in their seventies that visited every Wednesday, and headed inside of the tiny showing room to clear out popcorn and ticket stubs abandoned by their owners. The next flick would only start in thirty minutes, but people tended to arrive early to grab good seats to the weekly mystery horror movie screening. To Lily's irritation, this weekly event was also a favourite of a certain greasy-haired individual she knew and she usually always tried to avoid this shift to dodge a sulky and uncomfortable conversation. But she had been so preoccupied with meeting Potter in Diagon Alley that she hadn't thought of it when the sign-in sheet had come around last week.

When Lily stepped back into the foyer, she vaguely registered a dark figure already standing by the doorway. For a moment she feared that Severus had come extra early to torture her a little longer than usual, but as she glanced back towards the visitor she registered that the build did not resemble the glowering boy's in the slightest. It did, however, remind her of someone else she knew.

"James?" she did a double take, "James Potter, is that actually you?" The lean boy grinned at her as he shoved his hands deep into his pockets and strolled towards her. She couldn't help grinning herself and thought that she was sure to look like an idiot, cursing her heart for racing and her head for not choosing a clean shirt to wear today. She was dressed in a black skirt and an old grey shirt from her dad's lifeguard days that she had cropped at the bottom and at the sleeves. Lily also happened to spill orange juice down the front of it this morning and it had left a large stain that probably made her look like a toddler that had not yet mastered the challenge of eating unattended. James, however, didn't seem to notice much, as his eyes were awfully fixated on her midriff area.

"Yeah, sorry if I'm bothering you, Evans. You said I could come by sometime, and I know that you probably said it accidentally or would have taken it back by now, but I figured I'd take a risk. If I'm gonna annoy you all year, it wont hurt if I start a couple of days early, eh?" he casually leaned against the counter she was standing behind and Lily had to blush. She had invited him to visit her, hadn't she?

"You're not annoying me, James," she smiled at him, "Actually, I'm glad you're here." He raised an eyebrow. "I wanted to apologize for what I said at Flourish and Blotts. I didn't mean any of it, obviously, I was just, you know, it was just..."

"A shock?" James offered.

"A surprise," Lily corrected, "but now that I've had a chance to digest everything, I'm sure it's going to be alright."

"I'll stop you right there, Evans," James put one hand up, "once we get to Hogwarts, I'm going to talk to Dumbledore in person and I'm sure he'll agree to have someone else fill in for me. I've already written him a letter, and I think it's not going to be a problem to switch. I've read up on it, and since 1541 there have been six different cases of replacing the chosen school head. True, most of them had to do with illness and/or death, but that's not really the point. The point is that it can and has been done." Lily's heart sank at James' determination.

"Seems like you would be a natural at law," she tried to read his eyes, "but don't be ridiculous, James, Dumbledore has his reasons for making you head boy. And it's not like you haven't changed- you're not bullying first years for sport anymore."

"You know, to be fair, I did that during my second year. Is it really that bad, if they're only a year younger than I am?"

"James, it's always bad," he had to grin at that and Lily watched him move slowly from his to her side of the counter. As he stood next to her, she was almost in trance at his musky forest smell and his muscular arms.

"Well, I guess you'll just have to teach me your good girl ways then once we get to Hogwarts." He stood awfully close to her now.

She smiled slyly, "Didn't know you wanted to be a good girl, Potter."

"Well, mostly I just want you to show me," Lily's cheeks burned.

"Two tickets, please," Lily was whipped out of whatever was happening between her and James and turned around to two boys around the age of 12 or 14.

"Show's for sixteen and up, I'm afraid," she chimed. The two boys made faces.

"Oh come on, I bet these swell guys are sixteen! Is that a beard I see?" James interfered, nudging her side with his elbow, "Give 'em a chance, won't you Evans?"

Lily turned on him, "Is this how it's going to be? You're going to pout and I'm going to have to give in to your stupid wishes?"

He grinned at her, "No, it's gonna be me stepping in for the young and vulnerable while you reign solely on rules and regulations." Lily pressed her lips together and returned to face the two boys.

"Alright lads, this is an exception, I repeat, an exception and you have only this gentleman to thank for it. You have to go in now and sit in the back and only leave after everyone's out so I won't get in trouble. I will not be held responsible for nightmares. Got it?" The two boys nodded excitedly, took their tickets in exchange for a few coins and hurried inside.

"By Merlin, you're strict Evans. And I always thought you saved your authoritarian side for me."

"Now who's flattering themselves? I don't play favourites, Potter. Not even with my scorn."

"Man, and I felt so special."

"Don't you still feel special?"

"I do, yes, totally."

By now, a few movie-goers had arrived and James took a seat on her stool against the back wall while she sold tickets and popcorn. Whenever Lily sneaked a glance back at him she noticed his gaze clinging to her hips and she felt very aware of her body. She had to admit that she enjoyed the attention and it was hard to keep her excitement over his presence under wraps.

As the clock struck seven, it was time for everyone to head inside and Lily closed the door of the theatre with a thump. She slowly trailed back to James, who had risen from his seat to tower over her again, and they just stood there grinning like idiots.

"You're here," she said like a grinning idiot.

"Yup," he said like a grinning idiot. Suddenly, Lily saw a dark figure approaching the doorway of the movie theatre out of the corner of her eye.

"Oh bullocks- Get down!" she pushed a dumb-struck James down by the shoulders so he squatted behind the counter. His unruly hair tickled Lily's bare thigh just as Severus Snape entered.

"Hello, Lily," his beetle eyes examined her. He seemed to have caught a glance of movement as he came in, but couldn't place where it had come from now.

"What do you want, Sev," Lily said annoyed, very aware of the Potter crouching very close to her skirt area.

"Um," Snape was caught off guard by her rude tone, "a ticket?"

"The movie's already started, Sev," his eyes pierced her with his gaze, "Ugh, fine, here. You know how to let yourself in." But Snape didn't budge.

"Is this because of what I said to you at the bus station?" his brows furrowed, "You know I don't want you to hate me, right? I just say these things because I care about you, Lily. And because they are true. Pure blood families like Potter's-"

"AH!" Lily forcefully pushed James head down as he tried to protrude," –lright. That's enough, Sev. Please head inside now. I really can't hear this now. Actually, ever!" Snape seemed to x-ray her with his eyes, but Lily held his gaze fiercely until he proceeded to enter the theatre in a slug-like manner.

Once the door shut behind him, Lily yanked James back up by the collar, "Potter! Was it really necessary to sit _so close_ to my legs?" He held his sides laughing at her anger making her even more furious.

"Sorry," he wiped a tear from his eye, "But you're the one that pushed me down there. I just chose not to readjust from my initial spot."

" _Next_ time, readjust," Lily hissed.

"Next time?" his eyes gleamed and she cursed her own words, "Oh, don't let yourself be teased this easily, Evans. Seriously though, what was that slimy booger talking about my family?"

"Oh, don't listen to him," Lily said soothingly, "It was just something about how you have a pureblood family and that they would never accept it if you were to be with m- I mean, a muggle-born."

James looked at her incredulously, "Lils, that's the biggest pile of bullshit I've ever heard. Not that I've asked my parents or anything, but wait, isn't that the point? I wouldn't ask my parents for a rotten permission to date anyone. What a little cunt he is, I could just-"

"Alright, hold it," Lily held up her hand, "enough with the back and forth. I don't know why you two are so fixated on each other-"

"I'm no-"

Lily talked over him, "but I don't want to hear it anymore, either way. Let's just talk about something else, okay?" Lily rubbed her forehead, tired of the subject.

"Do you think it's a good idea to become an auror once we graduate?" to Lily's delight, James steered the conversation away from Severus.

"I think that's a brilliant idea and it's actually exactly what I had planned! Well, unless the whole auror business has gone up in flames by the end of the year..."

"Then we can always fight on our own," James said confidently.

"Without a leader or a purpose? I think that's why the Dark Army is so strong; they've found a pole to gather around, that brings them together. In war, nothing is as strong a weapon as conviction," Lily mused while James listened intently.

"You're right. We need some sort of base point or person to lead us. Otherwise, everyone on the right side of this will just scatter further apart, leaving our defences to collapse," he argued, clearly concerned.

"I'm so glad to hear you say this," Lily responded quickly, "because I feel like, especially with being heads, it's important to remind ourselves and the other students that there's a war going on outside of the cosy castle walls. Not that I don't want Hogwarts to be a safe place for students as it has been to me for all of these years, but perhaps we should also prepare for what is to come while we carve out pumpkins for the Halloween festivities."

"Stop it, Evans, now you're actually making me excited about being stuck in this head boy position with you," James eyes lit up, "We could found a sort of forum or club to educate students about what's going on-"

"and teach them important defensive spell!" Lily added excitedly, "you know some students associated with Voldemort through family members or their beliefs have become almost dangerous to the muggle-borns."

James wore a sad look in his eyes, "Yeah, even Sirius' brother Reg has inherited such a distorted world-view from his parents. I always wonder, if he'd think differently about everything if he had more association with Sirius or if he's just rotten on the inside..."

"Well, maybe," Lily's brows furrowed in thought, "but I don't think it's too late to make a change. By the way, what happened with Sirius' family this summer?"

Lily and James were so entangled in their conversation about the Blacks, magical law enforcement, muggle movies, and Hogwart's portraits that secretly led to hidden passageways, that even a short stint into Quidditch ("Honestly, Evans, you'd think you didn't know how many players are in a game!" "Well I always thought it was eight, seven on the other team and just you for Gryffindor, judging by your own narrative after each game." "See, I knew you only had eyes for me." "Yes, because you're the only one flying slow enough!") didn't disturb Lily. In fact, she only eyed the large clock above the movie theatre entrance by chance when she rolled her eyes at James' theory on how Madam Puddifoot was in actuality a demon thriving on young heartbreak and sugary treats.

"Crap! You need to get out of here, Potter," James was nervously taken aback and Lily softened her tone to explain, "the movie is about to be over and I really can't handle a confrontation with Severus now." James sighed, clearly relieved that he hadn't angered her in some way.

"Gotcha," he winked at her and Lily had to shut down a nervous giggle escaping her throat that turned into an obtrusive cough, "You okay there, Evans?"

"Never better," Lily wheezed, holding her sides as they stepped outside into the warm night. It was blackout dark except for the few small town lights scattered along the encompassing streets, but it rather soothed Lily than unsettle her.

"Right, I better get going then," James said, fidgeting with his hands as if he was forcefully hindering them from messing up his hair.

"Yeah," Lily breathed, uncertain herself. She held onto her bare arms, trying to think of something better to say to him. Things like 'I don't want you to go' and 'visit me again soon' and 'I'm in love with you', but of course she could say none of it out loud. She had had such a lovely evening with him. She took all of her courage together to look him in the eyes and at that moment James stepped forward, courageous in his own way. For a moment Lily thought that this was it, the moment she had thought about over and over again while laying wide awake on her twin-sized bed at night. She closed her eyes, felt the cool summer night's breeze tickle her nose and slightly shifted forward herself.

After she had locked the doors of the theatre, Lily skipped home, humming to herself and thinking about the letter she was about to send to Dorcas and Marlene. They hadn't kissed. But ever since James had embraced Lily to say farewell, she was on a high she couldn't begin to explain. They had held each other for just a few seconds longer than necessary, but Lily still had his smell in her nose and felt his frame against hers, and all that she denied now was the _plop_ that had indicated his disapparation so that she could play their encounter on an endless loop in her head.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm all fluffed out.**


	14. Outrageous Git

**A/N: 50 Followers! I'm beyond ecstatic! I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

* * *

"LILY JANE EVANS, get your behind down here right now!" bellowed an annoyed Mrs. Evans from the downstairs hallway, clearly struggling with the early wake-up call she had to endure this morning. Her eyes were sunken and her face was puffy, as she stood tall and ready to leave, clutching her large green purse.

"Coming!" yelled a muffled voice, drowned out by shattering glass and owl screeches, "By Circe's jewels, calm down Agnetha! Look what you've done to my two-hundred-and-thirty-two-piece potions kit, you fat owl! It's ruined! Oh, right... _Reparo._ "

"It's not going to be my problem, if you miss that train, young lady," Rose Evans crankily called the reminder to her youngest daughter, "I was, however, under the impression that as head girl you ought to at least try to avoid tardiness on your first day in office?"

" _Mum_ ," Lily's head stuck out from the top of the stairs, "need I remind you that I need mere seconds to get to the station? It's you people that are slowing me down!"

"Well, fine then, if you don't care for your parents sending you off on your very last first day of school _ever_ , so be it!" Mrs. Evans snapped, clearly hurt, "Come on Frank, our daughter has moved on to bigger and better things. We can finally take that trip to Cornwell we've been planning for weeks. It's not like we don't have other things going on in our lives aside from our children, you know?!" Suddenly, a large trunk flew swiftly down the staircase and landed next to the Evan's entrance way. Frank and Rose jumped aside just in time.

"Watch out," a lazy voice called from upstairs, to which Mrs. Evans exploded.

"I've HAD it! You're supposed to watch out with your magic when you're around us," Mrs. Evans huffed, while Mr. Evans patted her on the back in a soothing manner.

Lily's head popped back up at the top of the stairs, her face now an ugly tomato-like colour, "Stop treating me like a child, mum! I can very well go to the station by myself, and in fact, I'm soon going to be fighting in a war by myself and I truly fear you can't hold my hand, drop me off and pick me back up after that's over like it's a friggin' play date. You're going to have to get used to the fact that _I don't need you to take care of me anymore_." At her daughter's glorious adolescent fit, Mrs. Evans erupted in a whaling sound and pressed her tear-streaked face into her husband's chest. By now, Frank Evans had seen enough.

"Lily, get down here," he called out calmly, knowing full well the effect that he, however seldom these moments came to pass, could have in his household full of women. Both parents heard an annoyed huffing-sound from upstairs, but a few moments later their daughter appeared at the top of the staircase, cage in hand, and casually trotted down the stairs with her nose held high.

"I'm ready to go," Lily exhaled indifferently. However, at the sight of her mother drenched in tears, her expression softened and then filled with guilt.

"Lily, I need you to apologize to your mother," Frank mediated.

"Sorry, mum," Lily fidgeted with the owl cage handles, not looking her mother in the eye.

"Let's try that again," her father nudged her.

"Look, I know I snapped and I'm really sorry about it okay? I'm just... I feel overwhelmed about this whole head girl thing... and there were a bunch of attacks against innocent muggles in Hampshire just last Thursday, and I'm just not sure that I should be in school at all anymore, since there's a war going on- and I should be fighting! But all I'm doing is telling thirteen-year-olds to return library books on time... and I feel like if you're taking me to platform 9 ¾ , someone bad might see you and you could get hurt and it would be my fault, so maybe it's better if you stay here and maybe it's better if I don't come to the wedding or over Christmas Break at all. I mean from the way Petunia's been treating me for the past two weeks, I'm not even sure she wants me there. And also, I don't have any tights without holes in them and now I have to wear my uniform with knee socks, and I truly despise knee socks-"

"Alright, let's slow down, shall we," her father cut into Lily's verbal waterfall while a relentlessly sobbing Mrs. Evans stormed forward to embrace her red-headed daughter.

"My- poor- darling girl," she hiccupped loudly, "you can't fight in a- war- you can't even- buy- tights- on your- own," and a long sob erupted from the short woman as she stuffed three packs of sheer black tights into her daughter's hands.

"Thanks, mummy," Lily said softly as she stroked her mother's hair lovingly.

"Lily, your mother is right. You're still in school, and there is a reason for that. Once you've completed your education we can discuss your future further. I know I know, the decision is yours of course, but we just want to be involved in your life, Lily-pie, and that's really not too much to ask. And you don't have to protect us from anything. We're your parents, remember? We should be the ones protecting you." Lily thought about this. She figured that adults would think her to be too young to fight for what she believed in, but if things turned much worse she would have no other choice, if she didn't want to risk losing everything she loved, as well as her own life. But there was also no point in worrying her parents further now.

"I guess so, dad," she agreed, "I'm sorry for what I said. I would love it, if you took me to the station."

"Well, then let's get a move on!" her father attempted to lift the trunk, but remembered that his daughter didn't need much help in heavy lifting anymore, as the suitcase soared into the back of their old car's trunk. His old back was mighty glad for it. After fleetingly hugging a stiff Petunia good-bye, Lily made herself comfortable in the cushy seats in the back of their orange Beatle. While the backdrop of her hometown raced by, she couldn't help feeling a tinge of sorrow as she gazed at everything she was leaving behind, and after this year would perhaps lose forever. She had thought about what life would look like after leaving Hogwarts of course, living in a posh downtown flat and heading to work each morning, but she had never thought about what she would swap in for that fantasy, and that perhaps instead of having a fancy job, she would have to struggle with unemployment if the Dark Regime took over.

When the Evans family finally made their way through the thick London traffic and found a parking spot after circling King's Cross station for another 45 minutes, Lily hopped out of the back of the car, removed the wrinkles from her navy sundress and slung her book bag over one shoulder, all in all semi-ready to begin a brand new school year. She was beyond excited to hold her first prefects meeting, to see Dorcas and Marlene, and couldn't wait to run into a certain head boy and spend the rest of her life- er, the rest of the year- with him. As she and her parents struggled to heave all of her luggage to the station in order to finally prompt it on a cart, Lily heard a familiar voice calling through the great halls of King's Cross.

"LILYYYYYYYYYY!" Lily recognized the swishes of blonde and black hair belonging to her two best friends only when they toppled her over onto the suitcase her father had just placed onto a cart while heaving heavily.

"You guys!" Lily gushed as Dorcas and Marlene politely said hello to her parents, "I've missed you so much! How are you already here? Where's your luggage?"

"Well, we apparated a bit early since my mum was being insufferable. I swear, she couldn't wait to ditch me until Christmas," Marlene explained dramatically, "and we already put all of our belongings on the train to kill some time and came back out here to wait for you."

"And check out some delicious muggle boys," Dorcas winked and waved to a lovely young man waiting for his train on platform seven, "and why are you so tardy? The train leaves in twenty minutes and the head girl hasn't even arrived! What has the world come to!?"

"Traffic," Lily muttered, a little jealous of her friends' method of transit, "speaking of late, we better get going or I'll have to drive to Hogwarts by car." The group made their way to platform nine and ten.

"And speaking of 'let's get going', what are you wearing, Evans?" Dorcas tutted at her friends' dress as they easily slid through the gates and onto platform 9 ¾. The train station was already bustling with hundreds of students, as well as their pets and their family members. Lily spotted a second year attempting to fly onto the Hogwarts Express with his broom. Rolling her eyes, she decided to hold off from her head girl duties until she bid her parents farewell.

"Look, it's the last day I get to wear muggle clothes. I just wanted to enjoy putting on one of the dresses I sewed over the summer one last time. It's straight to uniform on the train, I swear mummy," Lily mocked.

Marlene had to grin, "Don't change on my account. Or certain other people's for that matter... Your letter gave me unsettling jitters, woman! I swear, if you people to get together soon I'm going to lose my faith in true love completely! Well, and ten galleons," Dorcas dragged a laughing Marlene onto the train and Lily rolled her eyes and turned to her parents. Her mother wore a mournful expression as she watched tiny students getting onto the train and waving to their parents; her father lovingly gave Agnetha an owl treat.

"Alright, mum and dad, this is it-"

"Evans!" Lily was ripped from their intimate moment and turned to see James Potter jog towards her, already dressed in his uniform. Lily cursed the fact that the standard uniform white shirts suited him so blatantly well and tried to keep from blushing in front of her parents, but failed. Her mother raised an eyebrow while her father just smiled at the slightly panting boy that just planted himself in their midst, unawares of the effect he had on his youngest daughter in doing so.

"I have so many questions, Evans," James started to ramble immediately, still out of breath and once again sneaking glances at her bare legs, "I don't even know where we're meeting now. I don't even know who the prefects are! What is it, eight in each year, starting fifth year? Minus you, because you're already head. Is there a new girl prefect for Gryffindor in our year now that you're head? If not, that's, what, 23 people who I should know? I know you and I know Moony, okay? That's it. Well, and Alexa. Oh, and Snivelly I guess. Who are the other twenty people? Oh, and when can I start docking points? Because I just saw some idiot kid trying to fly onto the train and I swear, if anyone's getting detention, it's that trollhead. Do you know how much a Cleansweep 75 is worth?! It should be forbidden to fly it in such a crowded environment! Imagine if something happened to it! Nice dress, by the way-"

"Hello, I believe we've met before," Rose Evans kindly offered her hand to James, who had until now been so focused on his rant and on Lily's legs that he hadn't even taken notice of the two additional Evans standing next to the head girl. Lily had to smirk as James adjusted his angle and turned beet red at the sight of Mr. and Mrs. Evans.

"Oh, I am so sorry, Mrs. Evans," he sputtered, shaking her hand while simultaneously messing up his hair with his spare one, "so lovely to see you again, truly. And you must be Mr. Evans! May I say what a wonderful daughter you have raised?"

"Oh, I'm well aware of it," Mr. Evans examined the tall boy in front of him as he shook his hand, "but I would be far more interested in knowing who you are."

"Daddy, this is James Potter," Lily sweetly cut in while James looked like he wanted the earth to open up in front of him and swallow him whole, "He's going to be head boy with me this year! He wasn't a prefect before, so he still has a lot to learn."

"I see," her father continued to x-ray James suspiciously.

Mrs. Evans exchanged a worried look with her daughter as the silence amongst them dragged on.

"He sent that owl over the summer, dear."

"Oh, how wonderful!" Mr. Evans' eyes instantly brightened and Rose exhaled in relief, "the owner of the Norwegian giant!"

"Yes, he expects us to call him that at all times," James joked and Frank Evans laughed wholeheartedly, patting a nerve-wrecked James on the shoulder.

"Lovely! Say, my daughter has never been able to share a lot about this, but would you be able to illustrate to me the details of this 'Quibbitch'?"

"Alright!" Lily cut in just as James' facial expression turned into what resembled a baby dragon seeing his mother for the first time, "James, I really need to say good-bye to my parents now, if you don't mind. I'll catch up with you in a minute."

Lily breathed in deep as she embraced both of her parents at the same time and didn't let go for a whole minute. "I'm going to miss you so much, mum and dad! But we'll see each other at Christmas for Tuney's wedding, and I promise to write as much as I can."

When they finally let go of each other, her mother quickly whispered into Lily's ear, "you better bring us that boy home for Christmas." Lily swatted her mother's arm playfully and kissed her father on the cheek before she turned around for the last time to take in the train that would take her to her very last year at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Lily slowly made her way through the groups of magical and muggle parents, joined by the sporadic younger sibling and grandparent, waiting on their cue to wave farewell. When she finally arrived at the last wagon of the picturesque Hogwarts Express to find James waiting for her on the platform, steam was already exhausting from the chimney of the scarlet locomotive.

"Better step on board then, head girl," James winked at her and Lily had to grin at the formal title.

"After you, head boy," she motioned for him to step on first, but rather than a fixation on courtesy, Lily was trying to avoid a situation of James looking up her skirt when he stepped onto the train after her. As Lily followed him up the few steps, she protruded a list from her book bag, "So about all the questions you had earlier; I'm sure this doesn't answer all of them, but here is a list of all prefects, save the new fifth years. Under that you'll find an agenda with talking points I drew up this past week that we should really go over during the meeting."

"Um, okay," James tentatively took the long parchment that was filled with Lily's tiny elaborate handwriting from her and looked it over quickly, only to swiftly pocket it deep in his cloak pockets. Lily frowned.

"You can start docking points after we arrive at the castle. You can also take points up to two days after misconduct has taken place. So in case something out of order happens on the train or while waiting on the carriages, or if something happens and you only hear about it a day after for example, you can still act. Any later than that and you would have to seek out a professor to handle the situation. Whoa!" The train suddenly started up and Lily toppled right into James arms. "Ouf, sorry Potter," Lily's cheeks turned pink as she tried to straighten herself up, but the train picked up speed and her knees were incredibly wobbly, "hit you like a whale hits a seagull there." As she quickly shoved her mop of auburn hair out of her face, Lily noticed James' nose inches from hers.

"Hi," she felt his warm minty breath on her face.

"Hi," she breathed back, tightening her grip around his neck as the train went into a bend. _Damnit_ , she thought, _I'm not going to make it off this train alive_.

"I really wish you would stop associating me with seagulls, Evans," he murmured into her ear, "as for the whale, you're not far off there." As she playfully giggled, Lily and James both turned to the sound of a compartment door sliding open behind them and the two were suddenly very aware of their intimate embrace. As was a grinning Sirius Black.

"Fancy seeing you here, Prongs," his eyebrows wriggled, "Sorry for interrupting you in a, erm, compromising position. Was just gonna go look if you'd gotten into trouble, but seems like the head girl's already supervising you to the best of her abilities." Lily felt her cheeks burn as she untangled herself from James, and Black snickered. "No worries, Evans, sometimes a physical approach is all that's left to get Prongsie to listen. Ah!" Sirius ducked out from under James' fist, only to continue laughing hysterically.

"Shove it, Pads," James threw Lily an apologetic smile before entering the compartment that Sirius had just stepped out of. When the door shut behind him, Lily was left with a cheerful Sirius who pulled a lever to crack open the tiny window of the train door and lit a cigarette, as always very convincing in his portrayal of cool. Sirius' hair had grown quite long over the summer and he had bound his charcoal strands together with a band at the nape of his neck. Lily observed him for a few moments, trying to think of a way to explain what Sirius had just witnessed. However, after a while Lily gave up, knowing full well that Sirius had already guessed her crush and would catch her lying right away.

"You know, I'm pretty certain you're breaking a couple of school rules there," Lily grinned at the suave boy with the piercing grey eyes and beckoned for him put out his cigarette.

"Whatever you say, loveliest head girl of them all," he winked at her, putting the stub of his cigarette out on the scarlet trim of the train.

Lily rolled her eyes at him, but kept in good spirit, "I thank you for your cooperation, Mr. Black."

"Don't mention it. These school rules of yours make my life so much more interesting, you know? Hey, I have a question for you Evans- what the hell was Prongs talking to your parents for before on the platform? Has he lost it completely?"

Lily had to laugh, "Well I think he's just nervous about the whole head boy thing and had a few questions to be honest. I really want to believe that his initial intentions were not to have a nice chat with my parents."

"Nervous about the head boy? Why, is it some dapper bloke from Ravenclaw that Jamesie-poo is jealous of? Had to make sure that you knew all the smut about him beforehand, right? Classic Prongs. Hey, I heard that you two had a good talk last week when he visited you," Sirius noticed Lily's alarmed face as and he quickly added, "No worries, he didn't disclose anything. Poor lad's just been smiling like an idiot for seven days straight. I had to pull my own conclusions."

"Um," Lily felt dumb-struck. _James hadn't told Sirius that he was head boy?_ At that moment, James reappeared from the Marauder's compartment.

"You about done here, Padfoot?" James said sharply, eyeing Sirius disapprovingly and gazing back and forth between the two of them, a tinge of jealousy in his eyes. Lily, however, had by now built up quite an anger and was not about to be treated like a piece of pumpkin pie.

"James. _A word_ ," Lily hissed through gritted teeth and motioned for James to come closer.

"Don't mind me, lovebirds," Sirius waved them off cheerfully as he slid back into the compartment. When the compartment door shut behind him, Lily rounded on James.

"You haven't told him?!" Lily couldn't believe it. Was he really so ashamed of being head boy?

"Of course I haven't told them," James defended himself, motioning for her to speak in a softer manner.

" _Them_? You haven't even told Remus!?" Lily screeched incredulously.

"Will you keep quiet, woman! No, none of them. I just couldn't do it, okay? They're gonna shun me! You get that, right? Do you remember how we made Moony's life a living hell after he was made prefect-"

"I don't care how idiotically you behaved when you were fifteen!" Lily yelled, now furious with him, "Did you think you could hide the fact that you've been made head boy for the entire year!?"

"No, of course I didn't think that, but if you would just give me a little bit more time I-"

"Seriously, what is your problem, Potter?" Lily spat at him and James was taken aback by her malicious tone.

"What my problem is? But that's exactly it, isn't it Evans?" James eyed her unkindly, "It's my damned problem! So why do you care so much what I do or don't tell my friends?"

"Oh, you outrageous git! And idiot me actually believed you had matured and were actually ready to be head boy. But obviously, I have been mistaken!"

"That's got to be a heavy hit for you then, since Miss Perfect Prefect can do no wrong, can you? It must be so tough for the immaculate Lily Evans to stain her yet unblemished image with the likes of me." Lily's eyes burned from the tears she was trying to keep from streaming down her face, as James viciously threw his insecurities in her face.

"I can't believe you're being such an abhorrent toe-rag! Last week you seemed to finally- I thought you were-," Lily hickuped, "I wanted to believe that you- could be the guy that- I- that we- that we-," Lily abruptly paused her confession when she realized that several compartment doors, including the Marauder's, had slid open to witness their shouting match.

"That we _what_ , Evans?" Along with the numerous confused and entertained looking students, three familiar heads poked out from the compartment closest to them. James hadn't noticed their audience as his back was turned to them and he was becoming furious at Lily's silence, which confirmed his misguided suspicions, "Don't make me into someone I'm not, just so you can sleep at night knowing that I'm going to be head boy with you, Evans."

"James?" he whipped around and to his surprise, James was face-to-face with a tired looking Remus Lupin, "You've been made head boy?"

"Oh, shut it Moony," Sirius now spoke up in a mean low growl, trying to read his best friend as he leaned against the door frame of their compartment, his wand twirling between his fingers, "No one in their right mind would make Prongsie anything aside from Commander of Twats."

"Say it, James," Remus said calmly, ignoring Sirius' comment, his expression filled with disbelief and what Lily could only guess to be envy.

"What's going on guys?" a worried Peter crossed his arms in front of his chest, unsure of whom to support in this dispute. James turned around on his heel to face Lily, his eyes pleading with her. As she wiped the single treacherous tear away from her cheek, she ever so slightly shook her head.

"You have half an hour until the meeting starts. Tell them."

And with that, Lily left the scene and determinately walked towards the very front of the train, and only stopped when she slid the door to the still empty prefect's compartment shut behind her to slump into the next seat and bawl her eyes out.


	15. Rain

"So concluding today's meeting, I, erm, _we_ would like to thank you all for participating so actively, especially the first-timers, and for signing up for patrols. I, erm, _we_ will review what you've put down in the next few days, together with Prof. McGonogall, and will determine if there are any conflicts with your lesson plans. If everything goes smoothly, your patrol slots should be added to the regular schedules by the time you receive them from your house heads on Monday morning. As for the standard patrolling procedure, I invite all those of you who are new," Lily shot daggers at James, who indifferently slouched in the seat beside hers, "to join me in the first patrol of the year, that I will lead on Monday evening, to get a general idea for how it works and what the standard patrol routes through the castle are. For all those who need to refresh their memories or want to help me guide the recent additions to our team- you are of course also very welcome to join! After the first patrol, it's tradition for all prefects to toast with a round of pumpkin juice in the prefect's lounge, which I can tell you from experience can be more fun than that just sounded," Lily shot a grin at Remus, who only gave her a limp smile in return. "Alright then, thanks again, good luck with guiding the first year students to your respective dormitories, and I, um, _we_ will see you Monday night at seven sharp the latest in the entrance hall. Won't _we_ , Potter?" Lily finished by flashing her co-head a nasty look.

"Whatever you say, boss," James retorted while demonstratively stifling a yawn and Lily fumed as a few of the new prefect girls sniggered at his remark.

"Right, sensational. Everyone, you're dismissed," Lily managed through gritted teeth and the horde of prefects sprung up in excited chatter, while some of the sixth and seventh year prefects cast her pitiful looks and Remus hastily left the compartment without even so much as a nod in her direction. At the beginning of the meeting, Lily had immediately noticed that Severus hadn't even bothered showing up, and for an instance she contemplated, if she should confront him about it, but decided that she should rather be relieved about his political activism. If Snape had witnessed today's meeting, he would have revelled in the fact that he had been right about everything he ever accused Potter of after all. James hadn't engaged one bit for the entirety of the meeting and had only sat there with his hands crossed in his lap, occasionally winking at Alexa Johnson as Lily explained the rules of catching students out of bed past curfew. The two went as far as to outright erupt in cackles when Lily mentioned the new protocol on inspecting broom closets.

Lily sighed as she sat back down into her seat and held a cold hand to her forehead. She was burning up... hopefully all of this wasn't harming her health. As she held her forehead, Lily was forced to witness bloody gorgeous Alexa, with her infuriatingly long legs, cosy up to James and giggle at whatever was whispering into her ear right outside the compartment door. Lily couldn't help but long for a nice clean bed in the hospital wing- for Potter, after she'd knocked him out with a few poignant hexes. As Lily waited for the pair to finish whatever it was that they were even talking about, she proceeded to magically iron out the wrinkles of her school uniform, which she had quickly thrown on earlier while simultaneously trying to hide her puffy face under make up before the prefects meeting started. After five excruciatingly long minutes, Lily's uniform looked flawless, but Alexa still hadn't left. When Lily fleetingly dared to graze the couple with her gaze, she saw that Alexa had started stroking James' arm in a reminiscent manner- and she'd seen enough.

"James," Lily raised her voice, but he pretended not to (or actually didn't) hear her. Lily let out a frustrated sigh. " _James,_ " she tried again with more force, but her attempt was drowned out by Alexa's agonizing giggles. Lily could feel her skin crawling with rage. "POTTER, COULD YOU LEND ME A SECOND OF YOUR PRECIOUS TIME, OR IS THAT REALLY TOO MUCH TO ASK?!" Lily bellowed at the pair and she was pleased to see that she had finally shut them up. James turned to give her a bewildered look, while Alexa only smirked at the aggravating effect that she had on the new head girl.

"I'll see you a bit later, yeah?" Alexa playfully nudged James' chest one last time and gave Lily a provocative look before she vanished. James re-entered the prefect's compartment slowly in an overtly relaxed manner.

"You wanted to speak to me, Ms. Evans?" he mocked her with his submissive tone, running a hand through his hair, but not looking at her directly. Lily's ears grew hot.

"What are you doing with Alexa Johnson?" Lily snapped before she could apply better judgement. James raised his eyebrows at her and Lily instantly regretted mentioning anything at all. But really- did he have to go for the next skirt moments after they had had a fight? If James was under the impression that she was actually going to be jealous just because he flirted with his ex-girlfriend- well, by Merlin's beard, he was perfectly right! _Damnit._

"What can I say, Evans, you know I have a weakness for good girls," James had the audacity to smirk at her.

"Yes, Potter, and I fancy bad boys that are good to me, but that doesn't mean I have to go running after every last one of them, does it?" Lily bit her lip as the words had slipped out. Had she no control over her head at all!?

James hazel eyes bore through her in that intense, earth-shattering way that made her knees go weak while his hand flew to his hair again, "Um, right. What did you want to talk to me about?"

Lily was caught off guard that he didn't press her further, but was also grateful for the out, "Yes! I wanted to speak to you about what just happened in this meeting, James."

"What happened?" he asked innocently, making Lily's heart flutter with rage. How could she have fallen for this imbecile?! She was done with him for good.

"Well," she tried to remain calm, "it seemed to me like you were refraining from engagement. Let me rephrase that- you didn't say one single word during the entire bloody meeting that we were supposed to _co-chair_ , but rather interrupted me with your outrageously childish performance."

"Are you sure?" James mused, rubbing his chin, "yes, I suppose you're right. But, you were a little dominant, if I recall correctly. Although, let me rephrase that- you couldn't shut up for one bloody second of it."

"Well, I _would_ have, except for the fact that you ignored the entire meeting completely, Potter!"

"Yes, well, I truly feel like it wouldn't have been worth my while."

"Oh you're such an insufferable tosser! Why!?" Lily demanded furiously, her heart racing and her hands, which were clamped up to fists, shaking.

"Well you see, since I'm telling Dumbledore I'm stepping down from the position the moment we get to Hogwarts, it didn't really seem necessary for me bathe in the glory of this title for this occasion," James said full of spite and Lily's heart sank to her stomach.

"How did we end up here again, James?" she asked him softly, while he glared out at the passing landscapes, "I thought we talked this over. I thought you wanted to be head boy."

"Yes, that was before," he still didn't dare to look at her and crammed his hands deep into his pockets.

"Before what?" Lily asked tentatively. James let out a strange sound that Lily assumed was meant to be laughter, but it got stuck in his throat and came out more like a stifled croak.

"Before all of my friends decided that I'm a right out bastard and won't ever speak to me again," James grumbled miserably, as he took a seat in one of the plush chairs and dug his face into his hands.

"Oh," Lily finally understood and moved to sit in the seat next to his, "I'm sure that's not true, James. They'll come around in a day or so, just give them time to process this."

"They won't," James said definitively.

"Well, that can't be right, I mean, at least Remus-"

"No!" Lily jumped a bit at his forceful interjection, "Lils, you don't know them like I do, okay? We don't lie to each other, _ever_. To them, I betrayed our friendship! Moony thinks I didn't deserve to be made head boy one bit, and he's right isn't he? _He_ deserves it, if anyone does! And Sirius thinks I'm ruining our last year at Hogwarts only because of _you_ ," Lily blushed furiously and uncertainly chewed on her lip as he threw the words at her, "and on top of that, Moony is angry that Padfoot is angry at me for ruining something childish like our pranks, something we should've gotten over by now anyway, and Padfoot is angry at Moony that he's pissed that I got head boy over him. And Wormtail took Padfoots' side and is talking to neither Moony nor me right now." Lily's head was spinning at the vindictive Venn-diagram James was painting for her.

"That sounds absolutely ridiculous and I can't believe that you would give up being head boy to please your friends," Lily lightly laughed at the stupidity of it.

"Well, then don't," James retorted as he swiftly got up and left the compartment and left a flabbergasted Lily behind.

After James departed, Lily stood up to silently gather her things, as well as the abandoned charts and schedules that were spread across the compartment. She headed out of the prefects' compartment with her head hung low and made off to join her friends in their compartment two doors down. She could already hear their wild chatter as she stood outside of it and Lily's head pounded while she fumbled with the door.

"There she is!" Dorcas cried out as Lily opened the door to their compartment and Lily cracked a small smile at the four Gryffindor seventh year girls that were chattering away loudly.

"How'd the meeting go?" Marlene asked tellingly and raised her eyebrows in response to Lily's death stare, "I see."

"Ooh, yes, James Potter is head boy! Have I heard right?" Preena gushed. The fellow Gryffindor housemate wore a beautiful indigo scarf threaded with gold, along with her school uniform. The dark hair that curled down her back was embellished with beautiful golden barrettes.

"That's right," Lily said a little annoyed at Preena's reaction about Potter, while she ignored that Lily had been made head girl, "and to no one's surprise, he's already being a grand idiot about it."

"What's he done now?" Marlene grinned.

"It's not funny alright!" Lily snapped, still affected by the incident, "he's going to try and get out of being head boy."

"Not possible," Dorcas gasped, "and I thought he was the one who bribed Dumbledore to give him the badge in the first place!"

"Potter doesn't seem to like school rules though," a nervous Gwinerva joined the conversation. It seemed odd to Lily that she had grown even paler over the summer. A single barrette was pinned to the side of her head, holding back her stringy hair, matching the ones that Preena wore in her mane.

"Well, I didn't say he'd want the gig in order to dock some points," Dorcas winked, "I thought he'd be dying to finally spend some quality time with our darling Lily over here."

"Ohh," Gwinerva seemed to catch on, pushing some of her stringy ash-blonde hair out of her face.

"I highly doubt that," Preena weighed in, examining her long glittery nails intently.

"And what makes you say that?" Marlene looked like she wanted to challenge Preena to a duell.

"Well," Preena paused dramatically, "I heard Johnson and Potter are patching things up."

"Ohh," Gwinerva gushed like she was overwhelmed with the amount of excitement she was experiencing for the very first time in her life. Lily tried to remain blasé on the outside, flipping through a new muggle magazine that Dorcas had brought on the train, even though she was listening very intently now.

"Yes, apparently she's told Burnetta from Ravenclaw that they were owling each other over the summer and that she's hoping he'll ask her to go to Hogsmeade. Although my guess is that she'd also settle for a fling."

Lily couldn't suppress her emotions any longer, "But didn't they break up because she didn't want him to stain her record?" Preena raised her eyebrows and smirked, happy to have received a reaction from her usually very private housemate.

"Yes, but since Alexa wasn't made head girl and James is now head boy, I highly doubt he'll do much to blemish her image now. In fact, going out with the head boy is probably the closest she'll get to that head dormitory, wouldn't you imagine? Why, is there a conflict of interest, Lily?" Preena challenged the red-head, and Dorcas threw Lily a nervous look while Marlene clenched her fists in anger.

"I couldn't care less," Lily retorted, a little too quickly, "Potter can do what he wants as long as he's not going to annoy me all year. Now that we're talking about it, it would probably be best if he did step down. Who knows, by tonight someone new might be appointed head boy and I can finally plan some prefects schedules in piece!" Lily ripped one of Marlene's chocolate frogs open and stuffed her face. As she chewed, she tried hard not to look into Preena's smirking face and instead focused on her continuously throbbing head.

For the remainder of the journey, Lily tried to sleep. Rain was splashing against the car windows, and Lily focused on the sounds the train and the outside world made in order to drown out the conversations going on around her. At one point she heard the compartment door slide open and thought she made out James' voice. Through the haze she thought she could make out Marlene's energetic tone forcing the door to shut and all that was left was the drumming of the rain and the pounding of her head.

"Lily, we've reached the station," something echoed from far away, a repetitious tapping on her shoulder.

"No, Agentha, I don't have any treats for you right now," she tried to calm her owl down, her eyes still pressed shut as her head throbbed even more than before.

"Lily, wake up, wake up!" Lily's was woken by a pair of hands roughly shaking her by the shoulders. When her eyes finally fluttered open, she scanned her surroundings and observed that it had grown dark outside, the rain still drumming against the train window, but the landscape beyond it no longer racing by. The Hogwarts Express had reached its destination.

"Crap!" Lily exclaimed at a worried looking Marlene, and the brand-new head girl shot up from her seat, light-headed and dizzy, as she grabbed her book bag and pulled her friend after her to exit the Express. The station was already bustling with students, who were trying to hastily make their ways to the carriages through the pouring rain under the pitch black night sky.

"First years! First years, to me!" Lily heard a booming voice, and she quickly turned to hug Marlene, and then raced off to meet the groundskeeper.

"Hagrid!" she caught up to the large black-bearded man who was holding a single quivering lantern. A group of first years huddled around him, "will you be alright? Do you need assistance with rowing the first years over? The weather is just terrible!"

"Heya, Lily!" Hagrid beamed down at her, "Congratulations, head girl! Knew yer'd bring 'er home."

"Thanks," Lily grinned back up at him as she held her book bag up over her head to shield herself from the rain.

"James's already come by ter help out. He's just o'er by the docks, making sure everything's ready," Lily's face fell at the mention of James' name and Hagrid had to chuckle, "Already havin' a spat, are we?"

"Don't get me started, Hagrid," Lily and Hagrid had to laugh and in the distance she saw James Potter jogging in their direction, rain-soaked and incredibly handsome.

"Hello," James panted slightly as he reached them and gave Lily an uncertain smile, "Everything's ready, Hagrid. Not sure if you really want to put all of these young lives at risk on the high seas. It's looking pretty wild out there."

"Oh, I'm sure of it!" Hagrid laughed heartily, "I know yer can't be too careful with the first years, but really, would any of yer trade in yer first glimpse of the castle out from the lake in for a warm and dry carriage ride?"

Lily caught James' eye and mirrored his huge grin, "Not a chance."

"Thought so! A'right, then let's get rowin', shall we? First years! First years, follow me!" Hagrid turned and slowly made his way towards the docks, guided by his feeble lantern. In the backdrop, Lily saw the intimidating massive waves breaking on the banks of the Black Lake.

"Do you think Hagrid has got this under control?" Lily curiously asked in James' direction, not sure if he'd hear her over the howling wind. He had heard, and side-stepped closer to her.

"Yeah, sure, Hagrid's got this," he soberly assessed the situation just as a gaggle of first years screeched at the sight of an especially enormous wave exposing an immense tentacle rising from the depths of the lake, "Nevermind, they're doomed. Let's row behind them, make sure no prospective Gryffindor gets eaten by the squid, yeah?"

"Alright!" Lily gladly stepped under the pair of robes that James had taken off and was holding over their heads. She was shivering all over as the cold September rain drenched her robes, and it was difficult to refrain from embracing the boy next to her for warmth as he sternly stepped towards the fleet of small wooden boats.

"Hagrid!" James called and the great man turned around, surprised at the sight of them, "You can lead the group and we'll go last to make sure no one gets lost, alright?"

"Good thinkin', thanks to yer!" Hagrid bellowed over the howling of the wind, "Everyone! This is James and Lily. They're the head boy and girl. See their golden pins? They're here to help yer out this school year!" Lily smiled as she imitated the way James proudly straightened up his back and waved to the first years.

"Nice badge," she commented after the both of them had settled into the last of the tiny wooden boats, their knees touching as they sat opposite of one another.

"Oh, shut up," James repressed a grin as the boat started rowing on its own account and Lily loudly sneezed three times in a row, "you alright there, Evans? Don't croak yet, we've barely made it off shore."

"Yeah," Lily croaked, "I don't feel so good. Must be the weather… Did these boats get smaller? How did they ever fit four of us in here?" Lily felt James' hazel gaze on her and when she dared to at look him, she noticed a gleam in his eyes.

"Remember what happened the first time we went over this cursed lake together?" he gave her one of his lopsided grins and draped his cloak over Lily's shoulders. They were further out on the lake now and water was splashing into their boat, drenching their feet in a puddle of ice water.

"Yeah, I remember," she blushed and smiled back at him, her teeth clattering at the cold.

"Evans, you're turning into an icicle!" he started rubbing the sides of her arms frantically, definitely having some kind of heating effect on Lily, but she was still feeling lousy, "your blue face doesn't go with that hair!" She had to laugh at his hectic muggle attempts to keep her warm. They both knew well that the heating and drying charms only worked if the humidity of the surrounding air was low.

"So have you changed you mind again?" Lily asked with a nod at James' pin.

"Nah," he paused rubbing her warm and Lily's face fell with his hands, "I'm sorry, Lils, but I'm gonna talk to Dumbledore when we get to the castle."

"But," she was frustrated and the pounding of her head seemed more intense again now, "then why did you help Hagrid? Why are you wearing your badge?"

"I just," he sighed deeply, "I didn't want to abandon you like I did in the meeting and I thought it would be the least that I could do. Help you out before Dumbledore finds a replacement, you know?"

"So you're telling me that you're not enjoying all this?" she gestured to their backdrop and they had to laugh at the circumstance she was trying to sell to him as just delightful- rowing across the Black Lake in total darkness in a rainstorm, responsible for a large group of minors.

"Not in the least," he took her ice-cold hands into his and absentmindedly rubbed them warm as a booming thunder followed by a crack of lighting let Lily shutter at his touch, "In all honesty, Evans, I couldn't've dreamed up a better way to begin my final year. If at eleven I'd known that I'd get to share this bloody boat with the prettiest girl in all of Hogwarts twice, I maybe wouldn't've thrown you overboard the first time." Lily looked up into his eyes, the world spinning around them. He had stopped rubbing her hands warm and just held them in his now, and she let him.

"This is so complicated, James," his dripping wet hair was plastered against his forehead, a single drop making its way down the bridge his nose. She leaned forwards towards his warm body, her mind in a haze of memories she shared with the boy in front of her.

"I know," he breathed, squeezing her hands.

 _Thud._ Lily and James rocked forth as the boat suddenly halted on the opposing bank. They were forced to frantically untangle their hands in order to steady themselves on the wobbly, wet floor of the wooden boat.

"Alright, first years!" Hagrid's' voice rose from the bank, "let's gather 'round over here! No, not over ter the willow, ter me!" Lily and James clambered out of the boat and made their way to Lily's favourite tree, where Hagrid and the first years huddled around. Out in the near distance, Lily could make out Prof. McGonagall advancing towards the group in rushed footsteps.

"Hagrid! Thank you for escorting the first years. Oh, Mr. Potter, Ms. Evans! I must say it is wonderful to see you already exceeding at your duties. Follow me, everyone!"

"So that's what a compliment from Minnie feels like," James commented dryly as his gaze followed the group of first years that made to enter the Hogwarts castle for the very first time in their lives.

"Yes, and isn't it simply fantastic!? Super worth the early curfew," Lily goofed as she jumped from one foot to another to keep warm and wiped her soaked hair out of her face. But James suddenly wore a sad expression and Lily realized that all he wanted to do was tell Sirius about everything that had happened this evening. The heat rose from Lily's cheeks to her head and it felt like her skin hurt all over. The rain kept pouring down on them relentlessly. McGonagall had led the single-file of first years inside and Hagrid waved to them as he closed the entrance doors behind him. James snuck a longing glance at Lily, but the head girl was busy holding her pounding forehead, trying to stand upright as her surroundings were becoming blurry.

"Alright Evans, I'm going to try and catch Dumbledore before the feast starts," James turned and made to go up the grand entrance stairs, but Lily caught hold of his hand as he climbed the first few steps, "Lils?" Why was her head hurting so much? It felt like a power saw was cutting through her scalp. Her stomach was in cramps and shivers went up and down her back in icy waves...

"Please, James," Lily managed to gasp before the world turned black and she fell and fell and fell into the rain.


	16. The Third Letter

Lily felt trapped, but as if she was falling at the same time. She shivered as her skin responded to an icy chill that reminded her of diving underneath the surface of the Black Lake on cold November mornings. Hours, days, centuries passed. Through the thick opaque liquid, she heard voices calling out to her, but none of them inspired her to wake from her spiralling descent.

Decades must have gone by, when finally a quivering voice made it through to her ears and into her brain.

"Lily," it said, softly. She knew that name. The sound of the voice saying it filled her with familiar warmth.

"Lily, please wake up," the voice said again. Was that fear she detected? She wanted to both relieve and comprehend it.

"I can't do this on my own, Lils," something wonderful and warm touched her. _Lils_. She knew that name. It belonged to her. Only her sister called her that. It belonged to her. But not just her… Someone else called her that, too. _Lils_. He belonged to her.

"James," Lily whispered and the hand on hers pulled away. _No_ , she thought, "please don't go."

"I'm not going anywhere, Lils," she opened her eyes slowly and fell into his warm, but fear-ridden gaze, "You need to call Madam Pomfrey now." He stood up from her bed and moved a step back.

"What?" she took in her surroundings and recognized the sterile white Hospital Wing of Hogwarts. It was dark outside, the rain still pattered against the windows, and all the other beds were untouched and empty.

"Call Madam Pomfrey," James urged once more. Lily did as she was told. She looked back to James for reassurance, but when she turned her head, he had disappeared. Had he ever been there at all?

"Ms. Evans!" Madam Pomfrey came rushing out of her chambers in her night clothes, illuminating her way with her wand, "you've woken up. Oh, how relieved I am… drink this now." Lily was given a small flask of bright turquoise liquid. When she had emptied the beaker, her body filled with heat and Lily could feel her blood circulating as her cheeks flushed.

"What's happened to me, Madam Pomfrey?" Lily asked tentatively, frightened of what the answer might hold. Had she been hexed by another student?

"Ms. Evans, we need to have a chat," Pomfrey's voice was etched with concern, and she paused, building up a momentum.

"Yes," Lily wondered what the young witch in front of her wanted to discuss, "what is it, Poppy?"

Madam Pomfrey sighed troublesomely, "Lily, when have you last eaten?"

Lily, surprised at the question, racked her brain, trying to remember the events of the last day. So much had happened; she couldn't recall such a minor detail as food. As she felt Madam Pomfrey's x-ray vision on her, Lily tried to focus harder. Last night she skipped dinner because she was so preoccupied with writing her speech for the prefect's meeting. She couldn't remember breakfast. They had left the house in such a rush this morning to get to the train on time. What did she have for lunch?

"Marlene's chocolate frog," Lily gasped, "I had one of Marlene's chocolate frogs on the train! You don't think- did someone poison it?!"

As Madame Pomfrey stared at her intently, Lily could only fear the worst.

"I suppose someone who doesn't like that a muggle-born was made head girl could have done something to the frog? But then why would they poison Marlene's chocolate, if they wanted to harm me? I mean… what is the chance that I'd eat one of the frogs? I'm actually not even that fond of chocolate. More of a Fizzing Fizbee girl over here, if you know what I mean. It must have been someone close to me, then. You don't think that one of the Gryffindor girls-"

"Ms. Evans," Madam Pomfrey interrupted her, "no one's poisoned the chocolate frog."

"No?" Lily found it odd that the young nurse would not even go so far as to verify her theory. Perhaps a professor should be looking into this, instead of a junior healer? If someone poisoned the chocolate frogs, Marlene could still be in danger. She inhaled several of those frogs daily, after all.

"Lily," Madam Pomfrey said kindly, sensing the seventh year's irritation, "The chocolate frog is not the issue. It could be rather seen as the cure. In fact, I do prescribe chocolate rather often, but in this case..."

"Huh?" Lily was thoroughly confused now. The chocolate frog held an antidote?

"See," Pomfrey started to sound exasperated at Lily's slow grasp, "The chocolate frog is probably what's kept you going until early this evening." Lily was relieved to hear that she hadn't been out for long after all, but Madam Pomfrey looked concerned nonetheless. "You haven't been eating enough, Lily."

"What!?" Lily snorted, "That's ridiculous! I'm completely fine, ask anyone! Ask my parents, by all means."

"A chocolate frog a day is not enough nutrition, Lily," Madame Pomfrey lovingly patted her on the shoulder.

"I know that!" Lily retorted, annoyed, "it's just… it was a busy day okay? It's been a busy week, actually. Ever since I've been made head girl, I've been worrying and preparing, perhaps over-preparing, because I don't want to let anyone down, you see? And then there's other stuff, you know, personal stuff. The thoughts in my head just take over and I guess that I… I just forgot about eating, that's all."

"Lily, when you're so stressed out that you're forgetting to eat… perhaps it's too much for you to handle? This is not a healthy pattern. Your mental and physical well-being is more important than any badge, Lily. You did spend a night here for similar reasons a little over a year ago. No one will hold it against you, if you step down from being head girl."

"I know that," Lily murmured, glad that Poppy was stroking her hair in such a caring way. Lily was surprised at the tears she felt trickling down her own cheeks.

"Do you want me to notify the headmaster about this?" The nurse asked her sweetly. Lily thought this over for a moment. Dumbledore surely knew about her collapse and probably already thought her too weak to excel in her new position. If she went to him now to complain about stress before classes had even begun, she was sure to be replaced by midday tomorrow.

"No," she said decidedly, "no, I don't want to give up being head girl. Not one bit, actually. Not if I can help it. I love helping other people out and I enjoy the responsibility of it! But you're right. I need to take care of myself as well."

"Alright," Madam Pomfrey nodded absentmindedly, clearly not entirely satisfied with Lily's decision, "but if you ever feel like you're in over your head, please come and talk to me. Or anyone, for that matter. But know that I'm here for you."

"Thank you, Poppy," Lily hugged the short nurse, who gladly embraced her in return.

"Now in the meantime, finish this," Pomfrey conjured up a huge golden platter of Welcoming Feast leftovers. Lily's stomach grumbled loudly in celebration at the sight and smell of it.

When the nurse had returned to her chambers, Lily heard a bustling behind the partition next to her bed. Out of nowhere, Potters' head popped out of mid-air at the foot of her bed. Lily almost dropped her cutlery in shock as the head advanced towards her.

"Potter!" she hissed, and his floating head motioned her to speak softly by holding a floating index finger up to his lips, "what are you doing here?"

"What do you mean? I was here before and you weren't this shocked," he whispered, his whole body stepping out from under a beautiful, heavy silver cloak.

"I thought you were my sub-conscience," Lily murmured, embarrassed as James smirked, "Also, your head wasn't disconnected from your body. Wait, is that an invisibility cloak?"

"Oh, hush now, Evans," James stepped forwards, "You're delirious, remember? Scoot over." He plopped himself next to Lily on the bed, awkwardly, but comfortably close to her. Lily's heart fluttered as his smell filled her nose and his arm touched hers, but she decided to concentrate on finishing her mashed potatoes instead of digging her face into his neck like her body told her to do. They sat together for a while without speaking a word, Lily eating her dinner and James watching over her, occasionally pointing out a carrot that she had missed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" James finally broke the silence, staring his hands.

"Not particularly," Lily replied in thought, chewing, "Not right now."

"Okay," James nodded respectfully, crossing his arms in front of his chest, "Evans?" Lily put down her fork and turned to him.

"Yes?" she shivered as James moved forward to tuck a few of her stray auburn locks behind her ear.

"Don't ever do that to me again," his glance was just as serious as his tone, and his eyebrows furrowed as he scanned every inch of her face as if to memorize it, just in case. Lily wanted to kiss his lips to make it better, to take his pain and make him know that she didn't mean to scare him like that. That she would do her best to shatter anyone and everything that ever caused him heartache again. Instead, she took his hand, squeezed it, and leaned her forehead against his. They sat like that for a while, before Lily resumed her meal and broke their binding spell.

"Right, Potter," Lily chewed down her last piece of pumpkin pie, "not that every girl doesn't love being watched while eating a massive meal, but isn't it time for you to go back to your dorm?"

"Come on now Evans, you realize that you scared the crap out of me before, right? I thought I'd killed you! I went as far as to promise Dumbledore that I'd be head boy forever if he'd fix you. From now on, I'm going to watch you eat every single meal, three times a day, for the rest of your life. What are you smiling about?" He returned her grin.

"So you're going to be head boy, then?" Lily mentioned aloofly.

"Oh, I see! This was only a ploy of yours to get me to agree to be head boy, then. Even if it means I won't have any friends left in this bloody ancient castle aside from good-times Moaning Myrtle?"

"Maybe," Lily smiled mischievously and James mirrored her expression.

"You're really intent on me patrolling these hallways with you, aren't you, Evans?" James tapped her on the chest.

"Maybe," Lily repeated and shrugged her shoulders innocently.

"Brilliant then! Next time, why don't you just send a death eater to hex my mother into oblivion just to get me to eat my greens," Lily rolled her eyes at James' blatant exaggeration.

"James, go to your dorm," she tried to push him off the bed with all the force she could muster. He didn't budge

"I don't want to," rather than getting up, James leaned back comfortably into Lily's pillow.

"What? Why not?" Lily pulled the pillow out from under his head.

"Oi! I don't… It's creepy there, okay?" they each forcefully tugged at the pillow for a while, feathers flying up like fresh snow.

"What- do you mean- 'creepy'- HAH!" Lily hugged the pillow to her chest in triumph.

"Well… aside from my glorious self, the whole place is abandoned," James _accio-_ ed another pillow from a neighbouring bed into his hands and stuffed it behind his head.

"You mean, you're alone? Yes, those are the perks of the head dorms," Lily huffed as she tucked her own pillow behind her head.

"I don't like that," James said sternly, crossing his arms in front of his chest again.

"Being alone?" Lily turned on her side to face him, but James averted his gaze from her.

"It's like back when Filch put me in solitude confinement after we transfigured Mrs. Norris into a sea pig, alright?"

"James Potter, are you telling me that you can't sleep in that dorm room on your own?" Lily asked incredulously, "Don't you have your own bedroom back at home? Or do your fifteen house elves bunk up with you every night?"

"My parents live in that house too you know, so I'm usually in their company," James said defensively and added, "Or the house elves, actually. I've been sleeping in a dorm with three other boys for six years now. Over the last summer, Sirius slept with me. No- I didn't mean- Stop laughing!" Lily couldn't hold her giggles in any longer and James started to tickle her sides vigorously in revenge.

"Argh! Potter- Stop! Oh, this just keeps getting better and better," Lily wiped a tear from her eye, as James sunk back into his pillow, "So go back to your seventh year dorm room. There ought to be some present company willing to share a space with you."

"I can't," James muttered, aggravated, "they've shunned me. Put all sorts of charms on the lock. Not just on our seventh year dorm, no, Sirius has gone so far as to _obliviate_ the fat lady into thinking I'm one of her ex-husbands and now she won't let me in. Otherwise I would've just snuck into your old bed."

"That's slightly creepy," Lily pointed out, grinning sheepishly at the thought of James in her dorm bed, "And also, paintings can be _obliviated_? You Marauders really know how to fight dirty."

"Yes, turns out it's not quite as hilarious when you're on the receiving end," James scolded.

"Shocker!" Lily rolled her eyes and elbowed him in the side, "So, you're going to sleep in the owlery for the coming months, then? I'm telling you, come November you'll be one smelly ice sickle, Potter."

"No," James averted his gaze, "It will be fine. Just get better soon."

"What does that mean?" now Lily crossed her arms in front of her chest, an eyebrow raised at the boy next to her.

"Well, we're sharing a dorm now," James tried to explain.

"I guess so?" Lily at first didn't understand what this had to do with James sleep deprived nights, but quickly caught on, "Wait, does this mean that you need me to be present in our dorm in order for you to fall asleep?"

"You could also try singing me a lullaby. Rubbing my belly?" a smirking James offered.

"James!" Lily slapped his arm.

"But," James considered, "Yes. Yes, it will be necessary."

"Brilliant," Lily sighed in annoyance while James yawned and casually draped his stretching arm behind around her chest, "James, what are you doing?"

"Getting comfortable," James said innocently, wrapping her tightly in his arm.

"You've got to be kidding me," Lily tried to push him away, but James was too heavy for her.

"Well, I'm not going back to the Dorm of Doom, so it's either me with you here or me sneaking into McGonagall's chambers."

"Ew!"

"Exactly. Also, her passwords are incredibly tricky to guess. Dumbledore with his sugary treats obsession is one thing, but McGonagall goes by burial grounds of Scottish muggle poets. Last time I cracked it, and this was probably over five months ago, it was Dumfries after Robert Burns. To tell you the truth, that pretty much sums up my knowledge about Scottish poets in general."

"Dumbledore uses brand names of sweets as his password?" Lily's eyes grew wide in awe of all the things that James knew about this castle that she hadn't even thought to wonder about before.

"Fizzing Frisbees, Bertie Bott's, the classics you know," James eyes glinted with pride as he confided some of his meticulously acquired random knowledge about Hogwarts to the redhead he was cuddling up to, "but he will throw in the occasional muggle treat. Crazy for liquorish, the nutter. Have you ever tasted anything so absurdly grotesque? What is it with you muggles and gross treats?"

"Um, _not_ a muggle, but thanks. Seriously, Potter, can't you at least lie down on another hospital bed?" Lily challenged James, as he snuggled further into her side. James Potter, however, pretended not to hear her and Lily couldn't help but grin into her pillow like a love-struck idiot, feeling so much better already as she drifted into dreamless bliss.

When the sunlight hit the hospital wing early next morning, Lily woke bright-eyed and rosy-cheeked. James, however, was gone.

* * *

"Lily!" Marlene and Dorcas stormed into the hospital wing to embrace a yelping Lily. Her two best friends left the pristine school uniform that she had just changed into in messy wrinkles.

"You big fat pair of Erumpents!" Lily's voice was muffled underneath her friends' monstrous hug.

"Now ladies, really! Ms. Evans needs rest and quiet, not a stampede of howling Gryffindors!" Madam Pomfreys' stern voice called over from her office and Marlene and Dorcas quickly made to get off from their limp, tiny friend.

"Whoops," Marlene sniggered as she plopped herself down on Lily's freshly made bed.

"Are you alright, Lily?" Dorcas patted her friends' arm in a soothing manner, "when you didn't show up for the feast last night, we thought, perhaps you were still on head girl duties-"

"-or head boy duties-" Marlene wriggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"-and we didn't think anything of it," Dorcas continued with a disapproving look cast towards Marlene, "But then rumours started up about Filch spotting Potter carrying you up to the hospital wing and we knew something was up."

"James carried me?" Lily looked from Dorcas to Marlene, who was nervously playing with the pendant around her neck.

"We came here right away of course," Marlene added quickly, "but Poppy wouldn't let us see you, not even for a minute. I wasn't even surprised, after Pothead basically tore the place down after she denied him access." Lily fidgeted with the hem of her new skirt, listening attentively.

"We saw him negotiating about it with Dumbledore," Dorcas said quietly.

"It wasn't about seeing me," Lily told them absentmindedly, "it was about agreeing to be head boy after all."

"Ohh," Dorcas said wide-eyed, "that's brilliant!"

"I'm sure he still tried to get Dumbledore to let him see if you were okay," Marlene thought out loud, examining her fidgeting friend intently.

"I don't think so," Lily said nonchalantly, packing her bag. She scanned the room for the black hair tie she could have sworn she had put on the night stand this prior evening. She always lost those damned things. "He applied other methods for sneaking into the Hospital Wing."

"Wait- what?!" Dorcas' eyes grew wide, "he came to see you? _How_?!"

Marlene grinned, "I knew he'd find a way. Poor lad- the girl of his dreams in the infirmary and his friends wouldn't even reverse the hex on the portrait of the fat lady."

"Well, Remus did try to talk sense into Black," Dorcas pointed out, her gaze averted.

"More like shout sense into him. What a scene it was, I'm telling you, a wonderful start to the new year. Remus only fuelled the fight between the two," Marlene rolled her eyes, "buggering wankers, the whole lot of them. Okay, Lily, let's get to the actual subject. I will personally shove three servings of mashed potatoes down your throat, come what may. Even for breakfast. I'm not doing this with you again."

"Really, Lily," Dorcas stroked the Gryffindor's thick auburn hair, "we need to take care of each other. In every way. Next time you don't feel well, let us know so we can act. Don't shut us out, please."

"Yes, you're right, of course," Lily sighed, "From now on, I'll try to speak up immediately when I notice that anything's off." The three girls lovingly embraced each other once more.

"And chocolate frogs for everyone!" Marlene added triumphantly.

"Approved!" Poppy called from her office and the three girls giggled.

"Speaking of chocolate frogs and three servings of mashed potatoes, off to breakfast with us! Don't want to miss that first last day of classes!" Dorcas exclaimed joyously,

"Speak for yourself," Marlene muttered and the giggling girls made their way down to the Great Hall.

As they went through the doors, the Great Hall started buzzing and a few students were pointing at the group of three.

"I mean, I know my legs are growing fitter each summer, but..." Marlene joked at the unwelcome attention.

"And not just that, Mickey," a grinning Sirius Black commented from behind, as his grey eyes wandered upwards from Marlene's thighs.

"Oh, you insufferable tosser," Marlene shoved him back with force and Sirius was surprised at her tone. This sort of banter was not uncommon for the two Gryffindors and Marlene usually somewhat enjoyed it, even though she would never admit it, of course.

"What did I miss, McKinnon?" Sirius provoked her and grinned at Peter, who was smirking next to him, "Is it that time of the month, or why are you howling at me like a sodding werewolf?" At that moment, Remus slammed his shoulder into Sirius as he swiftly walked past the group. Sirius quickly ran a hand through his long hair to regain his composure. The whole dining hall was watching the interaction attentively.

"Just leave it be," Dorcas said impassively in Blacks' direction and took Marlene's and Lily's arm to either side of her and dragged them towards the Gryffindor table.

"Ugh, they're all staring because I fell unconscious, aren't they? They probably think I'm a nutter who shouldn't have been made head girl," Lily sighed in frustration as she caught Severus quickly averting his unreadable gaze from her.

"Well, at least you're not the wanker that tortured them all for years and is now supposed to be the one they miraculously trust and come to for help," James had apparently entered the Great Hall after them, fully ignoring Sirius and Peter who now made their way towards the far end of the Gryffindor table. Lily turned around to face him, smiling widely.

"You're absolutely right. It could be so much worse," she jokingly sighed as the group of four sat down, James and Lily next to one another and Marlene and Dorcas sliding into the seats across from them.

"OI, Potter! No dorks allowed at this table," a voice rose instantly from a few seats down just as Lily reached for a piece of toast, and a few of the older students erupted in laughter. James fixated the sixth year Gryffindor who had made the comment to his mates with an iron stare.

"Why don't you lay off the baked beans, McCrudden, then maybe you'll have a shot when you try out for chaser again this year. What is it, your fourth tryout in a row, or fifth?" James shot back, his shoulders tense and his hand twitching for his wand. Marlene, Dorcas and Lily rolled their eyes at the lame duel.

"James," Lily cautiously touched the wrist of his wand arm under the table, "perhaps you could try to avoid direct verbal or physical conflict as head boy? Just an idea here. I know it's out there." James found Lily's gaze and relaxed his upper body.

"Yes," he breathed, "yes of course, you're right."

"Oh Lily, McCrudden is such an arse, it's not Potter's fault, really," Marlene said in James' defense and added with a wink, "and he's so lousy at Quidditch, you have no idea really, James was just being honest. Right, captain?" James grinned at her in gratitude and Lily rolled her eyes as the four of them laughed. At that moment, the ceiling of the Great Hall filled with hundreds of fluttering and screeching owls.

After her bird landed in the butter, Lily tied the Daily Prophet from Agnetha's leg and lovingly stroked her beak, "Oh, look at this, they've caught two Death Eaters in Aberfeldy last night! I didn't know they were investigating this high up north... Says here that they were in hiding from law enforcement after they tortured an entire village of muggles near Maryport. Off to Azkaban you go, suckers!" Lily turned to James, who was being awfully quiet in light of the good news. It was now that Lily noticed that he held something in his hands.

"Oh no," James moaned. His left hand jumped to his hair and Lily could finally make out what he held clutched in his right hand. It was a letter. A red letter. "You've got to be fucking kidding me, mum," James swore under his breath as he placed the now ticking letter on the table. It started smoking. Then a roaring voice burst out from inside of it-

"JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER, NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I FELT SO ASHAMED FOR MY OWN SON! HEAD BOY!? -

James looked painstakingly up at the bewitched ceiling, trying to remain emotionless in his expression.

"- AFTER EVERYTHING YOUR FATHER AND I HAVE DONE FOR YOU! AFTER THE COUNTLESS EMBARRASSING LETTERS I HAVE RECEIVED OVER THE YEARS! INFORMING US THAT OUR SON HAS TRANSFORMED THE CARETAKER'S CAT, HAS STOLEN EACH AND EVERY SCHOOL SNITCH, HAS HEXED THE TOILET SEATS IN THE GIRLS BATHROOM-"

The Great Hall had fallen silent, each student now gaping at the booming letter in front of James, some standing to get a better view of the spectacle.

\- DIDN'T CARE TO TELL ME NOR YOUR FATHER ABOUT THIS!? IMAGINE MY HUMILIATION WHEN MONTY MCKINNON GREETS US ON PLATFORM NINE-AND-THREE-QUARTERS AFTER THE TRAIN DEPARTED AND CONGRATULATES US ON-

Lily caught hold of Marlene's bewildered expression and her mouth started twitching uncontrollably-

-YOU WAIT TILL I GET A HOLD OF YOU! IF YOU SO MUCH AS RECEIVE A SINGLE DETENTION WHILE YOU SERVE AS THE PRIDE OF HOGWARTS, I WILL PERSONALLY SEE TO IT THAT DUMBLEDORE SNAPS THAT NIMBUS NINTEEN SEVENTY-FIVE INTO THREE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-SIX PIECES, ONE FOR EVERY LETTER I HAVE RECEIVED ABOUT YOUR BEHAVIOUR THUS FAR!"

The letter fell into a small pile of flaming ashes in front of James. An excruciating stillness followed, as if the entire Great Hall was trapped under a silencing charm. James looked up to find Lily's gaze. As his stunned expression met her giddy one, she couldn't control herself anymore- a laugh had built up from deep inside her and now erupted in uncontrolled squeals. James gaped at her for a moment, flabbergasted as Lily hiccupped and filled the hall with another round of her wheezing giggles. Then, he did something that completely surprised Lily in return- he laughed with her. Soft chuckles at first, which then turned into full blown roars. Lily and James held their sides, panting between fits of maniacal howls. Dorcas and Marlene were the first to be infected, and soon enough the whole Great Hall broke out in hollering cries of amusement. Not even the professors could help themselves and quite a few smirked at the absurd scene in front of them. At the centre of the teachers' dining table, Prof. Dumbledore's eyes glinted mischievously.


	17. Sherbert Fountain

"I see that despite the substantial responsibility that Professor Dumbledore has just administered to you, Mr. Potter, you still deem it necessary to entertain the entirety of the gullible student body of Hogwarts with your disruptions," a giggling James and Lily turned to see who had spoken and immediately fell dead silent at Professor McGonagall's grim expression.

"Administered? I prefer the term inflicted," James muttered under his breath and the displeased Professor pressed her lips together at the remark.

"I will this once refrain from taking points from my own house for this interruption. Not because it seems unnatural to me, as you and Mr. Black have seen to my growing quite accustomed to the act over the years, but because I will grant you that you were perhaps not entirely at fault for your mother's emphatic comments. However, I do agree with Mrs. Potter and strongly advise you to refrain from further disturbances during your tenure," James shrugged at Professor McGonagall's lecture and whole-heartily bit into his buttered toast. Lily's uncomfortable gaze shifted from the butter dish, which James' and her owls were utilizing as a stomping ground for their affectionate nudging of beaks, to meet McGonagall's glare. She couldn't stand the thought of antagonizing an authority figure, especially her beloved house head.

"Professor," Lily started in sweet reverence of her favourite teacher, "I want to apologize for my absence from our rounds briefing yesterday evening- "

Professor McGonagall held up a hand to interrupt the head girl, "Ms. Evans, rest assured that there is no need to apologize for your malady," the teacher said swiftly, "Mr. Potter has delivered the schedules you drew up on the Hogwarts Express yesterday evening and he and I have made the necessary minor changes this morning." Lily's eyelids fluttered as she jerked her head sideways to gape at James Potter, whose mouth was stuffed with an inhumane amount of buttery toast to refrain from further engagement.

"You did that, James?" Lily softly asked him in a loving and awestruck tone, and James was caught so off guard with her caring admiration that he started choking on his toast.

"Y-yes," he finally managed to cough out while he pulled a grey feather from between his lips, "Uergh! Keats, bugger off!" James forcibly shooed a disapprovingly hooting Keats, who was mortified with his owner's gracelessness, into flight. Agnetha joined him swiftly in his ascent towards the Owlery, without so much as granting another glance in Lily's direction.

"Here are your schedules," the Professor said as she handed them each their jam-packed sheets. "You are also to report to Professor Dumbledore this evening at six before you begin your first rounds of the year," McGonagall added before moving along the Gryffindor table to continue her distribution of schedules to the eagerly awaiting students.

"Taking seven N.E.W.T's is panning out to be such a mistake," Lily huffed as she miserably stared at the sheet in front of her. Aside from the five core classes she was required to take for Auror training- Potions, Transfiguration, Charms, Defence Against the Dark Arts and Herbology- Lily had decided to stick with Muggle Studies, a subject that let her reminisce about her ordinary roots in this sometimes overbearingly extraordinary castle, and Care of Magical Creatures, since she had always felt connected to animals and loved spending time outside of the stuffy Hogwarts classrooms.

"Remind me why I'm taking Advanced Potions again," Marlene whined as she scanned her own schedule.

"Uhh, because you're planning on being a healer?" Dorcas commented absentmindedly, buried in her own timetable, "I expect it's going to be a challenge to alleviate any stings and such without being able to produce an antidote?"

"I suppose so," Marlene mock-sobbed into her tea, "But really, a double period from three to five on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays? Do they expect us to see any daylight at all this year?"

"What good would that be?" Dorcas said cheerfully, "The same slots apply to Advanced Arithmancy, except there's no class scheduled for Thursday... Seems odd that you have quite so many Potions classes, doesn't it?"

"Well, I'd rather be overprepared for N.E.W.T's than not," Lily chimed in and her friends rolled their eyes at her typical enthusiasm in regard to school work, "James, what does your schedule look like? Oof!" Lily gaped at James' overcrowded schedule. She knew that he took the same core classes she did since he was planning on applying to the auror program as she was. He also took Muggle Studies as an elective just as she did, but differed in his taking of History of Magic, a subject that had always lulled Lily into sweet slumber. However, she didn't have time to nap this year. In addition to James' classes and head meetings every Monday and Friday at six, Quidditch practice was scheduled for three days a week. Lily couldn't imagine him handling this load of work and still achieving all of his N.E.W.T.s. Then again, if anyone could do it, it was hyperactive and unfairly intelligent James Potter.

"Come on, captain, can't we go down to two training sessions per week this year? This will be impossible to keep up with along with classes," Marlene complained at the excessive practice hours that were present in her schedule as well.

"Not a chance," James responded with a captain-esque air about him, "We have three positions to replace this year, now that Clarke, Wood and Spinnet have graduated. I'd expect an upgrade to four days, actually. Or a morning and evening run on Sundays."

"You're joking, right?" Marlene snapped at her fellow chaser and captain, "I've got exams to pass! My future relies on my aptitude in class and so does yours! Are you losing your marbles, Potter?"

"Not in the least," James retorted, "This is my final year at Hogwarts, McKinnon. My final year as captain. This is our chance to win the cup for the fifth consecutive year, ever since we both joined the team in our third year. That's something that the Gryffindor Quidditch team hasn't accomplished in two centuries! If you think that I'm going to let some grimy Slytherin snakes, or any other house for that matter, do anything but pry that cup from my ice cold dead fingers, you must be off your rocker! Just you watch out, McKinnon! The only way I'm leaving Hogwarts at the end of this year is through flight, with the glory of the Quidditch Cup reflected in gold upon our victorious faces!"

At some point during his speech James had made to stand. The surrounding Gryffindors had quieted down and listened intently, and now broke out in loud cheers, stomping their feet as if the cup was already theirs. Lily glared up at James, appalled at his arrogant smugness, but apparently none of the other surrounding Gryffindors shared her dismay. Even MacCrudden cheered and chanted in premature triumph "Gryffindor roars, Gryffindor soars!". A few seats down, Remus averted his gaze from the scene and continued to poke at his breakfast, a traitorous bemused expression tracing his lips, and at the end of the table Sirius Black only rolled his eyes, but smirked at the enchanted ceiling. Peter squealed with joy, having momentarily forgotten the feud with his pretentious friend.

"Just checking," Marlene grinned up at the Gryffindor Quidditch captain as Lily yanked at James' arm to force him to sit back down. Professor McGonagall cast a disapproving look in their direction as she handed out the final few schedules to a couple of excited first years. But Lily could have sworn that she picked up something like, "Glad to hear it, Potter," as the green-robed Professor promptly walked past them to return to the staff table.

* * *

"I'm dying," Lily moaned to Marlene as she limply entered the murky Potions classroom and fell back into her regular chair in the front row, "we've got homework assigned in three subjects, and the day isn't even over."

"Eleven inches on the 'Peculiars and Practices of non-verbal Counter-charms for _Accio_ '," Marlene mimicked Professor Flitwicks' squeak and rolled her eyes at the low dungeon ceiling, "Too bad non-verbal doesn't imply non-written. You'd think with a war going on outside of the castle walls, we should be focusing on our spell-work rather than our calligraphy."

"Professor Flitwick did announce that he will try to incorporate as much practical work as possible, but that the N.E.W.T examinations require written reasoning before applying any given spell," Lily retorted calmly, as if she was reading Professor Flitwicks' speech off from a teleprompter.

"Flitwick said that?" Marlene asked surprised, "I should really try and have all of the information before I bitch and moan about something, shouldn't I?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Lily smirked as she made to unpack her beloved two-hundred-and-thirty-two-piece potions kit. Severus Snape had just entered the dungeons with a few of his dismal gang of Slytherin jerks. To Lily's annoyance he took a seat two chairs to the left of her, but she pretended not to notice this as she demonstratively opened her seventh-year text book and intently started scanning its table of contents.

"Anything compelling in there, Evans?" to her secret delight, Lily felt James Potter breathe over her right shoulder. However, her joy over his presence was soon gone after she had noticed that Severus Snape had stopped raving about Nott's vacation home with his comrades, and instead innocently eavesdropped in on their converse.

"Just trying to bereave myself from certain greasy slime balls, that's all," Lily whispered back to James without moving her lips, nor turning around to face him, in order to avoid any snide subsequent commentary from Snape.

"Ah," James murmured into her ear sympathetically, but Lily felt that he was hurt at her wanting to distance herself from him for Snape's benefit, "in that case, please continue, Evans." His hands slid from the back of her chair and she knew that James was making his way towards the back of the class to take his usual seat in the last row, but Lily didn't dare look after him for dread of fuelling Snape's telling expression that she could already feel burning into her side. She had secretly hoped that James would fill the gap chair between Severus and her, but she should've known and actually applauded that James would not place himself in such a precarious position. Would he sit next to Black as per usual, even though they weren't speaking? But at ten past three Lily realized that only very few students had chosen to continue Advanced Potions, most of them Slytherins, and that one could comfortably take a solitary chair. This made it even more awkward that Marlene and Lily were situated so closely to the whole Slytherin bunch.

"Welcome, welcome!" the first that Lily could make out from her quite sizable Potions professor was his yellow-clad belly. A few steps into the classroom and the whole of Professor Slughorn in bright yellow robes stood in front of the class like a stagnant sun that had forgotten to orbit a few years back, "My my, I see that we've finally managed to coarsely sort the wheat from the chaff, after all these years!" The short, round-faced Professor beamed at his few students as if they were all exceptionally rare portraits of his own art collection and he gleefully rubbed his sausage-like hands together.

"Well, since it's just us..." Professor Slughorn started with an air of mystery about him; he winked in Lily's direction, "I might as well tell you. In honour of my approaching fiftieth anniversary at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy- I know, I know, I don't look a day older than 35, ha ha- Flattery will get you nowhere with me, Mr. Nott! Do write my condolences to your father, will you? A true tragedy what the ministry's done to your vacation cottage in Bordeaux, I mean it. They've simply got the wrong folks, I've been telling Gemma Burney from the Bureau for Magical Law Enforcement that for months now! Oh, don't mention it- well, pleasantries aside. To celebrate my vital stint in the service to this extraordinary school, the Hasbro brothers- old students, truly gifted chaps the two of them- are throwing a bash in my honour this coming Saturday. Now, anyone from pureblood descent will know this," Professor Slughorn openly winked at Lily again, "but to those few others: you should know that Hans and Heino Habro are the managing directors of the world-famous confection company that, amongst other treats, produces the remunerated Chocolate Frogs you will all be familiar with," a reverent murmur went through the rows as Professor Slughorn spread his arms as if speaking to the clergy, "Of course I am deeply humbled by this upcoming indulgent soirée and I marvel at what the Habro brothers hold in stock for the 'big reveal' they have frequently mentioned by post. Naturally, I expect nothing at all! But if I may be honest with you all – I can be, isn't that right? Yes! – Having my portrait on a Chocolate Frog card has been a career-long personal dream of mine! So I will see you all at the Three Broomsticks this Saturday at seven? No worries, I'm writing out evening passes to all my scholarly guests! Dumbledore's practically agreed to it already!"

* * *

"That was excruciating," Marlene said plainly.

"Oh, come on, it wasn't that bad," Lily tried, but felt a little drained of life herself after the eternally mundane speech Slughorn had delivered for the past two hours. They hadn't even opened their textbooks, let alone lighten the fire under their cauldrons. The Potions professor had gone on and on about the 'importance of alliances during these dark times' and about how 'the light will always cast a shadow', and using this metaphor as a segway into the topic of 'mood lighting at a party and the benefits of social gatherings to overall peace'. Of course, his two-hour long monologue had not prevented Slughorn from assigning them 12 inches on the 'Hidden benefits of the forceful injection of Veritaserum' that was due by next Monday.

"He's giving us homework that's due after the weekend he's expecting us to show up for his lame party," Marlene complained.

"Not too loud!" Lily hissed, but giggled all the same at Marlene's pinpoint imitation of casual 'Dancing Horace'.

"Evans, McKinnon!" Lily turned to see James Potter jogging towards them. They were about to swiftly exit the dungeons and proceed to the entrance hall, when he reached them, "I hope you two have some valuable insight on the benefits of forceful injection in general for me, because for whatever reason, I'm at a loss. Ready to meet Dumbledore, Evans?"

"Yes," Lily sighed, "Right. But we have some time left, don't we? Actually, I haven't even been to our quarters yet. Do you mind accompanying me before we go to the headmaster, Potter?"

James grinned at her, "You're in for a treat, Evans!"

"Oh, no more 'Dorm of Doom' then, huh?" she nudged him in the side playfully.

"Not with you in it," he said in a husky, low tone before Marlene and he broke out in fits of laughter at Lily's flushed expression.

"Alright, I think that's my cue to go, then!" Marlene joked loudly and winked at a blushing Lily before rushing up the marvel staircase to meet Dorcas, who just in this moment descended down the stairs from her Arithmancy class.

"So, are you pumped for Old Sluggies' blowout then, Evans?" James steered the conversation into a more innocent topic.

"Um… not really," Lily admitted as they headed towards the direction of the West Tower, and Lily wondered if the Head Dorm was located in close proximity to the owlery.

"What? Not in the mood for a star-spangled night of pompous, fruitless palaver with a select few of Sluggies closest two hundred friends?" James gasped in mock astonishment.

"Well, now if you put it like that," Lily had to grin as they turned a corner, "Is my memory failing me or weren't you officially disinvited from any Slug Club gatherings in fifth year, Potter?"

"'Tis true, Evans. A proud day for Potters everywhere, just ask my mother," Lily had to snort, "However, I do believe that this is not an official Slug Club assemblage, but a festive soirée, which in reference to the traditional guidelines for such affairs demands the distribution of an official invitation, not word of mouth. So the jury on my attendance is still out."

"Ugh, I keep forgetting you're practically wizard royalty," Lily scrunched up her nose, "So officially we're not invited until we receive a letter from Slughorn?"

"Indeed, fair lady," James arranged his spectacles and nodded haughtily, as if he were the King of Great Hogwarts himself.

"So there's still hope that neither of us get invited!" Lily asked hopefully.

"Indeed," James laughed, fell back into his usual swagger and wiggled his eyebrows at her, "So here we are. Meet Wilfred," Lily took a moment to gather herself and took in her new surroundings. They were located on the sixth floor of the west wing of Hogwarts, and came to halt in front of the yellowing statue of an ancient bald man sitting on a stool, his chin propped up on his right fist as if deep in thought.

"Um," Lily sounded quite disbelieving, "are you sure?" She couldn't imagine that the glorious and mystical head dormitories she had heard doubtful rumours about for the past six years were through passageway of a statue that would look extremely fragile by image alone, if it weren't made of ancient marble.

"Wait- you didn't know where the Head Dorms were?" James asked startled is if she wasn't allowed to be this blatantly stupid.

"How would I know? The head boy and girl are supposed to keep it a secret!" Lily said defensively, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Aw, Evans, you should've told me! I would have sent you to Lachlan the Lanky and told you that he would only admit students that were truly pure in their intentions of being school heads and that you had to deliver a speech as a testimony to your honour. Oh, imagine how you would've argued with the bastard for hours!"

"And how exactly do _you_ know about the location of the Head Dorm?" Lily fired back at him, but James only looked at her like it was the most natural thing in the world to be aware of these things, "Well, how do we get in then?"

"Now you're asking the right question," James smirked at her mischievously and turned to address the statue, "Wilfred the Wistful, why are rain clouds grey if they hold the key to everything that is colourful?" Lily could have sworn that she heard a deep sigh erupt from the statue and saw Wilfred's eyes change, from a sad stare towards the floor, to a wistful gaze into the distance. The statue gradually moved to the side, creaking and huffing as it went. Behind it, a beautiful narrow archway appeared.

"What? That was the password?" Lily asked dumbfounded. It was quite something to remember.

"Of sorts. In order to enter, you have to ask Wilfred a question that makes him ponder the meaning of life or whatever. Can't repeat it once you asked him throughout the next day though," James tried to explain, "Come on, you try it. Close her up, Willie!" The bald man ached as the statue unhurriedly pushed back in front of the archway.

"This is so stupid. And far too complicated! Couldn't they have just installed a portrait and a simple password like 'badges'?" Lily bit her lip in frustration.

"Oh come on, that's the real magic of this place!" James eyes gleamed with excitement, "the whole castle just begs to be discovered and decrypted! Just imagine will you, that the founders stood in this very place once thousands of years ago in the hopes that a righteous head boy and girl would enjoy these chambers. Blimey, it's our heritage! A secret that was meant to be shared with us, Evans!"

Lily couldn't quite muster the passion that spewed from James (she was just released from the Hospital Wing this very morning and had had a long day after all), but had to grin nonetheless as she turned back to the statue of Wilfred the Wistful full of pride, "Alright alright, Potter. Let me try. Wilfed the Wistful," Lily boomed at the depressed looking statue, "why are Brussels sprouts a healthy vegetable, if they taste so disgusting?" The statue didn't so much as quiver.

"That's your life-affirming question?" James asked incredulously.

"Life-affirming? You said it was supposed to make him wonder about life! I wonder about the existence of gross Brussels sprouts all the time," Lily snapped defensively.

"That's valuable information, Evans, but really, you're supposed to make a depressed man that is set in stone hope for a better future or whatever, not remind him of the wretched greens he had to endure during his pathetic lifetime. Try again."

"Alright alright," Lily fumed inwardly, but then she suddenly had an idea, "Wilfred the Wistful, why do centaurs take on the shared appearance of only two creatures, when they can foresee the magnificent destiny of all living things under the sun?" Wilfred's expression shifted from dark to gleeful within seconds and the statue moved aside.

"Excellent work, Evans!" James clapped her on the back approvingly, "Willie looked overwhelmed with affirmation out there!" As they stepped in through the archway, Lily held her breath in astonishment. A beautiful, light-flooded common room was laid out front of her, decorated in lovely tones of light blue and white. Two plush couches and an armchair were set around a coffee table in the centre of the room, two study desks were set to the walls left and right of her, and Lily's eyes glowed at the sight of a softly cracking fireplace opposite of her. The suite was significantly smaller than their Gryffindor common room of course, but at the size of a small classroom it was still much larger than Lily believed it should have been allowed. It was magnificent.

"Isn't it peculiar that this dormitory is very close to the Ravenclaw tower and is primarily decorated in shades of blue?" Lily wondered.

"Excellent observation, Evans. Historically, only Ravenclaws were chosen as head students due to their reputation for being the most responsible of students. The selection was opened up to other houses hundreds of years later. Surprisingly, Ravenclaws are still dominantly chosen for head positions to this day!"

Lily had to smile at James' abstruse knowledge and continued to take in the dorm. Two separate staircases went up from either side og the fireplace, and as Lily recognized one of James' ties hanging on the banister of the left staircase, she jumped up the stairs of the right one.

"Blimey!" Lily couldn't hold her excitement in and jumped on top of the light cobalt bed sheets in celebration. Her room was small, almost filled entirely with a humongous bed that could sleep her, Marlene and Dorcas easily, and a large wooden closet. But what she loved most about her room was the immense window that took up almost the entire wall opposite to the door. She felt as if she was the queen of an empire as she looked at the scenery laid out below her. She recognized the Quidditch Pitch and the Black Lake from up here and even spotted Hagrid's cabin in the distance, close to the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest. It was breathtaking.

Lily noticed a wooden door next to her window and went to see what it hid. A small bathroom with her own mirror and shower was located beyond it, and Lily fist-pumped the air at the prospect of not being forced to fight with Marlene anymore over who was the first in the shower each morning. Nonetheless, a tinge of guilt and homesickness filled her tummy as she thought of her beloved roommates back in the Gryffindor tower, who were surely getting ready to head down to dinner together in this very moment.

"This place is unbelievable!" Lily squealed into the common room as she trotted back downstairs to James, who was sprawled on one of the plush sofas and keenly reading a Quidditch magazine. Lily had to forcefully retract the glowing images of them in her head, both entangled on the sofa together late at night, the fire dying out in the background, only James and her while the rest of the castle slept... Right, focusing now.

"Yeah, it's pretty decent," James looked up from his magazine with a sly grin as Lily arrived at the sofa that he was occupying, "but no shared bathroom? What's that about?" Lily snatched the magazine from James' hand and hit him over the head with it. They both laughed as James moved so that Lily could plop herself down on the sofa beside him.

"We don't deserve this," Lily sighed, looking around the room in anguish, "it's just all so nice."

"Speak for yourself, Evans," James teased and won the enraged look he was hoping for from the redhead, "Nah, honestly, it's fantastic. Did you see the view? I can basically fly from here to the Quidditch! I'll never be late for practice again- well, maybe."

"Ah, if it was only allowed," Lily let out a dramatic sigh and had to laugh as James pouted, "Alright, we should get going if we want to make it to Dumbledore by six. Did you go over the points I made for the meeting?"

"Yes, Madam," Potter agreed subordinately, taking the sheet that Lily had seen him listlessly pocket on the train yesterday morning from his robes as they both got up from the sofa and made to leave their dormitory, "After I had one of the brand new prefects clean my monocle, I was actually able to make out this miniscule scrawl of yours. What is this, thirty inches of parchment?" He rolled paper out to its full length and Lily grinned sheepishly as it extended quite a bit between his hands.

"Oh, don't mock me! You were the one that discussed the prefects schedules with Prof. McGonagall before breakfast!" Lily elbowed him in the side as they stepped in front of the gargoyle statue of Dumbledore's' office.

"Please, I call her Minnie now," James said earnestly and Lily had to giggle, "Do you want to know what she calls me?"

"Oh, stop it!" Lily gently slapped him on the arm, "Now what's the password, High Key Holder of Hogwarts?"

James slyly grinned at her, "You see, I prefer 'Marauder'. _Sherbert fountain_."


	18. Dumbledore's Army

As the massive ugly gargoyle slid shut behind them, Lily was surprised to find that she felt somewhat nervous walking up the circular staircase towards the headmaster's office. Their footsteps echoed loudly off the stone walls and the air about them held a certain mystery that resembled what Lily could only compare to a feeling she had when she had stood outside the Great Hall for the first time, waiting to be sorted, while not entirely sure of what exactly _sorted_ meant. Of course, she had been in Dumbledore's office before. She vividly remembered the first time she had made it past the gargoyle, when Severus had been certain that the inconspicuous Remus Lupin was far more than just an ordinary wizard.

Lily had stood outside of the office waiting for Severus, until Dumbledore (however he had known that she was nervously twiddling right outside the door) had bid her to join him and Snape inside, and she had sat down at the massive wooden desk with the claw feet for the first time. As the headmaster lectured Sev on tolerance and appraised him for overcoming ignorance, proven by his friendship to the redheaded Gryffindor, Lily's heart burst with excitement at the unspoken confirmation of Remus' condition. She had found the sandy-haired boy soon after in the Owlery, and after thirty minutes of vehement persuasion Lily had finally convinced him to confide in her that the reason he dutifully trotted up the tower each month was not to send his ill mother a letter, but to howl and sob at how miserably he felt life had handed him his deck before he left for the Shrieking Shack.

The most recent incident that had led Lily to the headmaster's tower had occurred late one evening during her sixth year. After Lily had witnessed a horrid scene between a second year muggle-born Ravenclaw and a couple of masked older students (who she swore, but couldn't prove, were Mulciber and Avery) during a late-night patrol around the castle, she had sought out Dumbledore in his office to ask him for guidance in handling these difficult matters. During their long talk, Lily had confessed her fears about Severus' twisting allegiance and possible daunting connection to the Dark Lord. That night, Dumbledore had asked her to try and salvage her friendship with Severus. He had felt that the bond that tied Snape to Lily would keep him from committing to the worst and that the power of love, even in the shape of true friendship, would hold his inner evil at bay. Needless to say, Lily could not keep what Dumbledore had asked of her, and she felt the ensuing guilt build up in her chest as she walked up to his office in unfamiliar camaraderie with James Potter, knowing full well that the connection to him would push Severus even further away.

"Ready?" James asked Lily in a whisper as they reached the top of the stairs, apparently as apprehensive about what the seemingly innocuous wooden door held for them as she was. The raven-haired boy shook back the right sleeve of his robes and Lily could make out a beautiful bronze watch around James' wrist. At a swift first glance, the shiny object resembled the beautiful muggle antiques that Lily admired in dusty London storefronts during the holidays, when she idled through the crowded narrow streets with her mother. As she inspected it closer, however, an awestruck Lily recognized that the clockwork behind the round glass held dozens of silvery moons in different phases that moved across the dial at varied velocity. Just as Lily began to formulate a question about the fascinating apparatus, two half-moons aligned at the bottom-most point, and James swiftly shoved his sleeve over the watch and utilized his right hand to boldly knock on the headmaster's door.

No one answered. James threw Lily a questioning look and she shrugged in return. After several silent breaths and urging glances between the two head students, James knocked again. Another uncomfortable moment of silence followed and James' impatient hand went for the polished doorknob, but Lily stopped him mid-air.

"What if we've got the wrong time?" she murmured uncertainly, holding onto James' sleeve, "maybe he meant for us to meet at six in the morning?"

"Don't be thick, Evans," James whispered back and Lily's cheeks flushed in irritation, "we've got the right time and place. We're going in." With that, he tore his arm away from her grip and turned the golden door knob counterclockwise. As the door swung open, Lily held her breath in anticipation.

At first, the two head students thought they were greeted by an empty office as the setting September sun blinded them through the large windows that overlooked Hogwarts' grounds. But as they stepped through the frame and had full view of the magnificent circular office, Lily and James both realized that the room was not vacant after all. James' swallowed laughter that transformed into a series of distasteful snorts, tied together with the former headmasters' portraits' rigorous snoring, tore Lily out of her aghast trance and she suddenly remembered to discreetly close her own mouth, which stood ajar mid-gape. Lily Evans and James Potter were witnessing Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, humble Headmaster of Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry and feared Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, rhythmically shimmying from side to side as he stood in front of his massive dusty bookshelf. His long hooked nose was buried into an ancient book and a pair of headphones, connected to a silvery walkman at his belt, was placed firmly over his ears.

"This explains so much," James smirked as Lily elbowed him in the side, but she admittedly had difficulty maintaining a serious complexion herself.

"Professor," Lily tried tentatively, but Professor Dumbledore's head continued to bob up and down in fierce concentration. Lily started to approach the silver-haired headmaster's back with small steps to try and get his attention. She quickly turned to receive assurance from James. The head boy, however, had commenced in a side-by-side imitation of Dumbledore's dance moves. Lily let out a frustrated sigh as stood between James and Dumbledore, who both shimmied in perfect unison.

"PROFESSOR!" Lily bellowed at the back of her headmaster. When that did not avail to anything, she determinately tapped the midnight blue-robed shoulder.

"Ah! Ms. Evans," Lily was baffled at how serenely Professor Dumbledore closed _Hogwarts: A History_ with a snap as he pressed 'pause' on his shiny walkman. His eyes gleamed as he pulled down his headphones and turned around to examine her fully. "I fear you've uncovered my passion for Queen."

"Erm," Lily tried a polite smile as she was at a loss for an alternate reaction. She had read a book called _Handling Superiors and Inferiors_ over the summer in preparation for her head girl position. As she tried to memorize the entirety of its contents, Lily came to the conclusion that it had failed to advise her sufficiently about dancing, Queen-loving headmasters.

"Your secret is safe with me, Professor," Lily fidgeted with her hands behind her back, trying to think of other ways to diffuse the situation.

"Oh, there's no need for that," Dumbledore smiled back, "I'm not in the least closeted about it. The topic just never seems to come up! Strange, isn't it?"

"Erm," Lily bit her lip, trying to think of anything at all to respond.

"Now, I nearly forgot! Congratulations on making head girl. The choice was rather simple this year, wasn't it? Oh, and I see that you've brought Mr. Potter! Wonderful," Dumbledore's twinkling gaze shifted from a stunned Lily to a spot close behind her.

"Nice to see you again, Professor," James said cheerfully and Lily was instantly envious about how relaxed the head boy was around the headmaster, "I hope you'll forgive me for asking, but how by Merlin's purple beard did you get that walkman to operate inside of the school?"

"Well detected Mr. Potter!" Dumbledore chuckled lightheartedly and started making his way towards his enormous, claw-footed desk, "It indeed took quite a little wand work to make the machinery magical enough to function properly on Hogwarts grounds- a little summer project of mine, if you will. Although, it proves again that detection of magic lies in the eye of the beholder, doesn't it? I personally find that this device held magical qualities already before I was forced to modify it. It plays music at the push of a button, after all!" Lily stole a glance at the ordinary walkman, trying to figure out what was indeed so magical about it.

"I completely agree, Professor," James responded to Lily's surprise, and she watched the dreamy boy nod thoughtfully at the Professors' hypothesis, "Plenty of things can be magical, even if they're not bound by a spell or a potion. For instance, there is nothing more magical than love." Lily's heart fluttered at James' startling, yet honest words and she felt her forehead and cheeks burn with fire.

"Spoken like a true wizard, Mr. Potter," the two bespectacled men solemnly nodded at each other and Lily failed to hold in a snort.

"Sorry," she excused herself quickly as the two pairs of eyes fell on her.

"Ms. Evans, there is no need to apologize for the absence of sentiment," Professor Dumbledore said kindly and motioned for them to sit in the two chairs in front of his desk, as he himself took a seat behind it, "In truth, those who have unveiled the curious mystery of true love can only pity those that remain in the dark."

"Erm, right," between Dumbledore's thorough examination of her and James' immersed gaze, Lily didn't know which direction to face. Had James said those words about Alexa? She felt her head spinning and her cheeks burning as she took out the carefully composed list of talking points from her robes, and tried to make out what she had written through the pounding of her heart, "Would you like to begin this meeting, Professor, or shall I?"

"Please, Ms. Evans, after you," the tips of Dumbledore's fingers met at the tip of his nose.

"Alright, brilliant," Lily breathed and finally managed to look up from her notes and into the Professor's electric blue eyes. "So James and I were talking over the – erm – summer and," Lily swallowed and avoided James' smirking gaze, "and we agreed that under the current political climate it would be important to use our position in favour of peaceful integration and active resistance within the student body, rather than our head badges serving as a, well, mere decorative title if you will, in the sense of planning Halloween festivities and such."

"I think what Evans is trying to say," James leaned forward in his chair and tapped his smooth chin, "is that there's a crazy evil person outside of the walls of this castle, who's riding under the slogan that muggles and muggle-born wizards and witches should be hexed into oblivion. We want to fight against that. 'Cause obviously that's bonkers."

"Obviously," Dumbledore's eyes sparkled behind his half-moon shaped glasses.

"So we were trying to come up with a way to work against the Dark Army from inside of these cushy castle walls," James went on, running a hand through his hair, "and we thought we could start an extracurricular class for students that want to know more about protecting themselves and others, you know, fighting back! Since that's what we plan on doing after we leave Hogwarts, after all. Might as well get a move on!"

"I see," Dumbledore nodded thoughtfully, "I do wonder if this wouldn't step on the toes of what we're trying to do here in 'Defence against the Dark Arts' class."

"Well, sure," James argued energetically, "but a large heap of that's theoretical, and when we do practice spells during class, it's in a safe environment! Not that we want to remove students from safety – but it could be good to put ourselves in a bit more intrepid situations than performing a shield charm against the nice Hufflepuff bloke I've known since first year, yeah?"

"Basically, James and I were trying to figure out what we feel we've been missing during our time here and what we could provide the student body with as head students. We noticed how utterly unprepared we feel for the real world, not just in the sense of 'what am I going to do with my life after Hogwarts', but 'what is the world I'm going to live in going to look like when I graduate from Hogwarts'? In any case, it would be good to teach students about what exactly the situation out there is like right now and to at the same time try to convey a positive view on muggles for those who are still convinced that they are beneath wizards and witches."

"Ah," Professor Dumbledore peered at them both in reservation and then breathed out in a long sigh, "I do believe that you both have the best intentions with your proposition. However, I am quite unsure if it is your place to do such a thing, Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans. The hired staff provides an extensive education for every student here at Hogwarts, and if a student wishes to go beyond the curriculum, they are free to do so in their spare time. But to animate a young group of wizards to train in combat as if they were bound to serve in an army...," the professor slightly shook his head as he shifted his gaze towards the sun-flooded grounds outside.

Lily felt a sudden outrage explode from inside of her at Dumbledore's reserved reaction towards their magnificent plan, and James must have felt similarly because they both instantaneously sprung up from their chairs, the wooden legs screeching on the stone floor.

"How can you say that Professor-," Lily spat in rage at the calm older man, who sat relaxed in his chair.

"The minute we get out of Hogwarts we're going to be in an army one way or another-," James ran a shaking hand through his hair as he yelled at Dumbledore.

"If you think that there is even the option of not picking sides in this battle, you must be out of your-" Lily dug her nails into her palms as her cheeks turned from pink to deep red.

"To send us to war without proper training, that's what would be mad if you ask-," James pointed an index finger to his forehead as he huffed accusations.

"If you think shielding the truth from us is going to help one single student, you've got-," Lily slammed her hand on Dumbeldore's wooden desk.

"We want to fight, we have to fight!" James bellowed as the snoozing portraits woke up in misdemeanour at the ruckus.

"If muggles and muggleborns are not able to defend themselves, who if not we are going to protect them when the Dark Lord-," Lily felt tears sting her eyes as she tried to put her exasperation into words.

"We will not stop until every last slimy Death Eater is behind bars in Azkaban!" James now had his wand out, as if a member of Voldemort's clan was hiding behind the rusty suit of armour that stood behind Dumbledore's desk.

A still quite calm Dumbledore held up a hand and they both fell silent. A breathless Lily didn't understand why the headmaster's lips were coiled into a sly smile. He was definitely off his rocker, no question about it. The headmaster motioned for them to sit back down and James and Lily did as they were bid.

"Excellent," the headmaster's eyes gleamed.

"Say what now?" James said through gritted teeth.

"I was trying to determine, if you could carry the weight behind what you promised with this project," Dumbledore continued, "I will have to present it to the student board, and many parents will react the way I have just portrayed. You've given me excellent talking points."

"Um," Lily couldn't find a better word.

"I will organise a room and time slot for your undertaking, perhaps staff supervision. Are there any further things you would like to discuss?"

"Er," James fidgeted with the arms of his chair, "Evans?"

"Right...," Lily breathed out as she had somewhat collected her thoughts, now breathless, shocked and thrilled that their plan had worked after all, "Muggle Mondays."

"Please elaborate, Ms. Evans," Professor Dumbledore said kindly and Lily noticed how inarticulately dumb she must have just sounded.

"Sorry, Professor. We thought it might be nice for integration," Lily elaborated, "if we had one day a week where students can wear muggle clothes and we could watch a muggle movie or listen to muggle music as a collective in support for muggle heritage."

"Ah," Dumbledore popped a peppermint in his mouth and offered the crystal bowl filled with treats to a declining Lily and James, "Regretfully, I won't be able to push this through for an entire day, I fear. The school uniform is not there to differentiate between muggles and wizards, but to unify all backgrounds, and it relieves destitute families. Students must be able to rely on this tradition during classes... Muggle Mondays, you said? It does have a nice ring to it... What I can offer you, is Monday evenings after supper, Ms. Evans. After that, the Great Hall is yours. You can wear and listen to what you like, as long as you do not dictate a specific dress code that excludes students that still wish to wear their uniform. Sometimes, when action is taken to include a certain group, another can feel left out. Let us try and avoid this. Do let me know, when Queen is on the agenda," their headmaster winked at them.

"Brilliant," James gave the headmaster a double thumbs up and grinned at Lily. The head girl felt overjoyed with relief herself and beamed back at the flushed boy beside her.

"Of course, I must remind you that even though you show great enthusiasm, the standard head duties still apply. Rounds, Hogsmeade weekends, yes, even the Halloween festivities are still part of the job description. I cannot relieve you of these tasks in favour of other, perhaps more engaging choices. But remember that even I have to announce the house cup every year, and nothing could bore me more. Duty is duty," Lily and James shared an amused glance, but both nodded in agreement, "Wonderful. If there is nothing further..." Dumbledore said, glancing out of the window towards the setting sun once more and Lily quickly scanned her parchment.

"No, the rest is prefects business that I – er, we – will have to discuss with Professor McGonagall," she said politely.

"Then I have a single remaining request for you, Ms. Evans," the headmaster said as if deeply absorbed in thought and his piercing eyes pinned Lily. The head girl froze in surprise. Was he going to chastise her for fainting and failing to meet her duties last night? Lily noticed James' uncertain gaze flicking between her and Dumbledore.

"Yes, Professor?" Lily asked cautiously, folding the parchment in her hands into a tiny square.

"We spoke in this very office nearly a year ago, if you may remember, Ms. Evans," Dumbledore said firmly and Lily shuddered at his words.

"Yes, Professor," Lily nodded, biting her lip as the guilt she had carelessly forgotten about earlier came flooding back through her insides.

"I understand that you could not save your friendship," Dumbledore continued while James stared at Lily bewildered, completely in the dark over what Dumbledore was getting at.

"Yes, I know. It was selfish of me, Professor," Lily said meekly, now nervously ripping the parchment into tiny shreds.

"Oh, quite on the contrary, Ms. Evans. Perhaps it is best that you continue to concentrate on guiding a group of indecisive observers towards the right direction, rather than trying to reverse what has already been lost."

"Has already been lost?" Lily's eyes suddenly stung. Did Dumbledore have confirmation that Severus had joined the Death Eaters? Was it her fault? She could have forgiven him for calling her a 'mudblood'... after all, it was only a word, wasn't it?

"It is no one's fault, Ms. Evans," Dumbledore said somewhat soothingly, as if he could read Lily's mind, "However, there is one thing I must still ask of you in regards to this matter."

"Anything," Lily pleaded and Dumbledore's strict gaze softened.

"Stay kind, Ms. Evans," he told her calmly, "There is no need for impatience or resentment now. What has been done, is done. You can, however, still shape the future. I believe that remaining kind and thoughtful of one another may achieve more than you can imagine now."

"Thank you, Professor," Lily made to stand as Dumbledore did, and the torn up snowflakes of parchment fell from Lily's lap to the floor. She vanished them with a quick wave of her wand. James stood up from his seat as well, even though his still stole confused glances at the headmaster and head girl. Lily remained deep in thought as she followed James down the twisting staircase.

"What was that about?" James asked when the ugly gargoyle closed back shut behind them and they stood in the empty corridor.

"Food," Lily commanded and made her way towards the Great Hall. James looked annoyed, but didn't pester her about what had just happened further as he followed her down the stairs.


	19. Butterbeer

James glanced at the peculiar watch around his wrist just as the head girl and boy made to sit at the Gryffindor table, "Holy Bertie Botts, it's 6:55 already!"

"WHrp!?" Lily, who had just stuffed her starving face with mashed potatoes, sprayed James with a multi-coloured mix of spuds and gravy, "Whrps, swory Prottur, _Trergrio_!"

The distasteful specs on James' spectacles multiplied and the head boy grimaced through is lenses, "Seriously, Evans, would you swallow before utilizing a cleaning charm? You've got the manners of a hippogriff. _Tergeo_." James' features went back to near-sparkling and Lily finally managed to swallow her humongous bite down.

"Woops... Sorry about that, Potter. But 6:55!? Our first rounds start _now_!" Lily shot up from her seat, instantly regretting her ambition at the instant head rush.

"Well, technically," James grabbed the eager head girl's wrist and pulled her back down to sit, "rounds start in five minutes. Simmer down, Evans. Shouldn't you know better than to avoid another meal in my presence?"

"Five minutes," Lily said slowly, as if she was explaining the transparency of dementors to a three-year-old muggle boy, "is the minimum amount of minutes that I am usually early to everything. Let's move, Potter!" Lily shot back up and James easily pulled her back down with a _thump_ , "Potter, could you stop doing that by any chance?"

"Of course I can, love," James cooed as he held the fidgeting Lily in place while she tried to tear her hands away from his, "as soon as you have your supper."

"But!" Lily searched her brain for a good excuse and fell short.

"I'll tell you what," James loosened his grip on her wrists, "We'll pack up some rolls and eat while walking. I suppose we'll have to get used to that form of dining, by the look of our schedules."

Lily let out a frustrated sigh until she realized that she was actually getting what she wanted, "Oh- yes, okay!" Lily grabbed two rolls and sloshed down her golden goblet of pumpkin juice, while James pocketed another four rolls in his robes. Both head students swiftly got up and left the Great Hall, a trail of keen eyes following them out the door. In the entrance hall, a group of twenty-odd prefects had already assembled in a sizeable group of excitedly chattering students, badges gleaming in the candlelight. The majority of the group fell silent as they spotted Lily and James approaching, while a few others lowered their volume to an excited whisper. To Lily's annoyance, Alexa Johnson and her polished badge were amongst the crowd.

"It's like you're the Queen Regent, Evans, and I'm but your dutiful Prince Philipp," a grinning Potter murmered down into her ear as he took in the dazed gazes from the humming crowd.

Remus and Severus were no-shows. Lily sighed deeply as she bit into one of her rolls. This meant she had to either speak to Severus about his absence or seek out Slughorn and tell on him, which she knew was not an option now that Dumbledore had urged her to stay somewhat amicable with the Slytherin. Lily had also truly hoped to see Remus at First Rounds tonight. She had come up with a meticulous plan to annoy him enough to finally bury his feud with James. It was merely their first day of classes and Potter already seemed somewhat thrown with his new companion-less situation. To be honest, Lily felt quite bad for him. She had caught the head boy staring longingly in Sirius' direction as they had just entered the Great Hall as Black exited. It made Potter seem like one of those fifth-year birds that pined over the rugged Gryffindor day and night, but that never got up the courage to actually speak to him.

In any case, over twenty students was still a very good turnout for First Rounds. Last year they were only eleven attendees in total – eight new prefects, two head students, and Lily.

"Good evening!" Lily called into the round. The entire group fell silent after a couple of urgent _shh_ s went around, "Thank you all for coming. In the next half hour we will proceed to walk the standard corridors that you should inspect during your rounds. In special circumstances, for instance in case of a tipoff or if there was a Quidditch match with a likely ensuing victory party, these routes may be altered. However, you will receive advance notice, if that should be the case, so don't go traipsing blindly through the castle in the dead of night. You never know what could be lurking behind a statue." Lily winked into the group and the fifth years let out an anticipated sigh of relief as they realized that she was only kidding.

"While we walk, questions are of course encouraged," Lily started going up the grand marble staircase and the jittering group followed while James fell behind to close off the group, "If you are still in the dark about anything, may it be the routes or other prefect-related worries, please don't hesitate to ask. Now is the time to indicate anything at all that you might still be unsure about. Remember, some of you have your first pair-patrols as early as tomorrow, so this is the time to voice your uncertainties. We have paired the new recruits together with experienced prefects for the first few weeks, but it is standard to patrol with students from your own year, as you will find that the schedules generally align."

After a couple of silent minutes, the group finally reached the fifth floor and Lily turned to the right. At the end of the corridor, Lily made to halt and the wide-eyed younger students trotting behind her almost bumped into her. Lily rolled her eyes. It seemed like they were a group of first years that had never walked the halls of Hogwarts before.

"So this," she tapped on the wooden door with the stained glass window, "is the prefect's staff room." An _'ohhh'_ went through the crowd and Lily rolled her eyes again, but had to smirk as she met a grinning James' eye. "Yes, I know, absolutely divine. You are to meet your patrol partner in or outside of this room and proceed to your rounds from here on. So, if you're by chance on rounds with someone from the same house as you, you are still to come here first. There is a sign in sheet inside that you tap once with your wand when you start your rounds, and tap another time when you've completed the route. Any complication or house point deduction must be recorded immediately after rounds are over. This is to avoid distortion in a later recalling of an event."

"Ms. Evans!" the fifth year Hufflepuff, who's name Lily remembered to be something like Stephen, eagerly raised his hand.

"Please, first names amongst ourselves," Lily smiled kindly at the boy _(perhaps his name was Devan?),_ "We're going to be spending a lot of time together this year. Call me Lily."

"Sorry-" The shy boy began eagerly.

"No need to apologize," Lily by force of habit interrupted again and Kevan (!?) turned a shade of pink.

"So- right," the boy, who perhaps was called Ewan, gave a weak smile, "Lily, how do we record point deductions and students out of bed and such?"

"Great question, uh...," _Was it Melvin?_

"Gregory! My name is Gregory Crawley. Greg, if you want," the boy beamed at her as he proudly stood straight so that his badge gleamed in the candle light.

"Of course, I knew that Gregory. Greg!" Lily returned his wide smile. _Wow, not even close_ , "Well, inside this room, you will find a book in which you can keep track of any type of incidences. You must also note, if nothing mentionable happens during your patrol. At the end of each week, James and I," Lily's paused as she realized how comfortable it was becoming to say their names together. When she briefly glimpsed up from Crawley, she caught James winking at her, and her knees turned to pudding, "We will take a look at what you've put down. In some cases, we may override your rulings, if we feel that they were too harsh, insufficient or in some cases perhaps subjective. Does that answer your question, Gregory?"

"Sure does, Lily," Gregory said as he continued to stare at Lily, apparently mesmerized. Lily refrained from rolling her eyes. Her niceness was often mistaken for romantic advances. In Potters case, even her bitchiness had somehow come across as a come-on. When Lily looked up again, she realized that James must have moved through the crowd of students and placed himself directly in front of Gregory, blocking the fifth year's view as he towered over him.

She had to grin, "Excellent. So in addition to your rounds, we will have weekly prefect meetings. You will be asked to help out at Hogwarts events, such as Halloween, graduation, and whatever else may come our way. More on that later at our pumpkin juice party." Gregory's hand shot back up and barely came into view behind James' broad back.

"Erm- yes, Greg? Did you have another question?" Lily was starting to get annoyed with the new prefect's inquisitive enthusiasm. Didn't anyone learn by doing anymore?

"Well-" a muffled Gregory tried to step in front of James.

"I think question time is over," James placed a firm hand on Gregory's shoulder, "wouldn't you agree, Griggy?"

"My name is Gregory," the boy shot back, but quickly retreated to a silent pout when James fixated him with a glare.

"That's what I said, Gregsy," James' grip tightened and the boy winced dramatically.

"Alright, let's turn around and move along to that statue you see of a bewildered looking middle-aged wizard!" Lily clapped her hands together, trying not to show that she was in fact quite glad about how the head boy harassed the younger prefect, but secretly flashed him a thankful smile when the group had turned.

James fell behind to stand next to her and lowered his mouth to her ear, "Sorry about bashing poor Grogsy's ego there. Old habit of eliminating the competition with abuse."

"Abuse away," Lily crooned back and squeezed James' arm playfully. And by arm, she meant his nonsensically strapping bicep. Damn Potter and his merciless Quidditch body. Lily ducked her head down as she felt a blush creeping up her neckline, and quickly headed after the group of prefects.

"So, behind this statue-" Lily began elaborating, but James, who had followed her, interrupted.

"Ooh! I know this one, Evans!" he snapped the fingers of his raised hand incessantly and Lily caught herself finding this adorable. That is, before she heard Alexa's giggle and instead decided that it was highly offensive instead.

"Go ahead, Potter," Lily said, her voice etched with annoyance.

"Well, everyone, this is the Prefects' Bathroom," James announced as if giving a toast a Christmas office party, "Why ever it is called that, since its main clients are honourable, weary Quidditch Captains who, after laborious hours on the pitch training a pack of ungrateful and wining bastards, need to soothe the bulging muscles they've toned to perfection. Ammi right, Kendrick?"

"Precisely, my man," James and the handsome Hufflepuff captain and seventh year prefect Kendrick Jordan fist-bumped to the groups giggling delight.

"Thank you, James and Kendrick," Lily shot a warning look in James' direction, but he was busy pulling at one of Alexa's beautiful charcoal locks and paid her no attention, the bastard, "So yes, indeed, this is the Prefects' Bathroom. As prefects, you are entitled to use this special bathroom, which is restricted to prefects, head students and Quidditch captains. You just have to state the password to Boris the Bewildered, which is-"

"Magnificent John!" James called out gleefully and the bewildered statue frantically moved aside with a horrid screech.

"Yes, and thank you again for choosing this delightful password, Potter. Please enter," The new fifth years gasped in astonishment as they stepped after a fuming Lily, into the beautiful marble room, for the first time, "beware of Moaning Myrtle, she loves to come in for surprise visits just when you're, um, indecent."

"Please do elaborate, Evans," James stupid face grinned at her shamelessly.

"There is a first come, first serve ruling for bathroom use," Lily continued, acting unimpressed, "which is quite unfortunate really. When in use, you will simply not be able to enter after you've given the password. Well, unless the bathroom is not locked from the inside. So, make sure you don't forget that part. Also, please don't pass the password along to any fellow students. This is supposed to by a reward for students like yourselves. Right… anything else? Ah yes, and no couples swimming."

"Too late," Alexa snorted loudly, as she playfully elbowed James in the side and he unabashedly winked back at her. Lily swiftly turned on her heel and exited, inwardly tearing the picture of Potter she stashed in her sock drawer to pieces. Was Potter openly mocking her? Hadn't the time they'd spent together today meant anything to him at all!? Using his head duty time to openly flirt with Johnson - how classy! Why was this tart even taking part in the First Rounds!? Ah right, Lily had cordially invited all the senior prefects to join... _Goddamnit_.

"Right," Lily said through gritted teeth, "let's move along."

After they had passed every common room, the library, and the astronomy tower, Lily led everyone back to the staff room. It had grown quite late, 8:30 already, and she was yawning deeply when they approached the familiar wooden door. When she turned the knob, and stepped into the room, Lily was overjoyed to see at least a dozen further students already sitting inside, including her favourite prefect of all, Remus Lupin.

"Fancy seeing you here, fellow rounds keeper!" Lily beamed from ear to ear as she slid into the seat on a wooden bench next to Remus, finally in the company of someone she actually liked, but he only gave her a weak smile.

"I suppose it's former fellow rounds keeper now," Remus sighed deeply as he poured her a goblet of pumpkin juice. Lily eagerly took advantage of the commotion amongst the prefects to dig into her dinner roll, "I expect you're going to go on rounds with the head boy from now on."

"I think we can work something out. And anyway, Alexa and him seem to be all set for rounds," Remus raised his eyebrows at Lily's accusatory tone.

"Johnson? You don't say. It felt like their breakup had something final about it," he mused, and Lily tried to seem unengaged, but inside she knew she couldn't fool Remus.

"Bygones, apparently," Lily tutted, "feels like they're picking the end of July right back up."

"While he's sharing a dorm with you? This is so not going to end tastefully," Remus gave her a sly smile as he ripped off some of her roll and chewed.

"Here's hoping," Lily breathed and Remus hid his grin in his pumpkin juice, "speaking of tasteless, how's the mutual enmity with Black going?"

"Oh brilliantly! Thanks for asking, Lily," Remus said in mock gratefulness.

"No problem at all, Remus," Lily clapped him on the back playfully, "But really, that's still going on?"

"We're both holding up our end of the vendetta," Remus nodded gravely, giving a weak smile.

"And you can't work it out?" Lily poked him in the side.

"Not yet," Remus sighed melodramatically, "it's turning out to be a rather lonely September."

"Well, as it happens, I know someone who misses you very dearly, if you're open to it," Lily offered between chews.

"You do?" Remus asked suspiciously, tearing off more from the second roll.

"Yes. Apparently he's quite chummy with Alexa Johnson," Lily added aloofly.

"Ah… ," Remus shook his head as he realized who Lily was talking about, "not sure if I'm ready for that either. After that horrid prefects meeting on the train-"

"Oh come on, Remus, you know Dumbledore couldn't have made you head boy!"

Remus shot back defensively, "That's not what I-"

"-and James is trying, you know," Lily provided earnestly, "He helped me escort the first years across the Black Lake and he planned the prefects schedules with McGonagall and he really stood up for our ideas in our meeting today with Dumbledore."

"He did?" Remus asked quietly.

"Yes, Remus. Give him a chance. Isn't that what you're always telling me, after all?" Lily grinned at him, knowing her argument was inarguable.

Remus kneaded his hands uncertainly in his lap, "Well, I suppose-"

"Excellent. POTTER!" Lily called across the room and James, who had been involved in a conversation with Quidditch-playing prefects, seemed relieved as he spotted that Lily was calling him and strolled over to where Lily and Remus were sitting, hands deep in his pockets.

"Yes, love?" he gave her a signature crooked grin that always turned Lily's knees weak, but she was still somewhat pissed at him.

"Are you enjoying your pumpkin juice, _love_?" Lily crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"It's alright, I suppose, if you're into fourteenth birthday bashes chaperoned by McGonagall," James shrugged at his cup.

"Well, I can't exactly pass around a bottle of firewhiskey, Potter. There are minors present," Lily shot back defensively.

"Contrary to popular opinion, I don't need firewhiskey to have fun, Evans," he winked back at her and Lily could swear that she heard Remus next to her chuckle.

"No?" she asked as if this was brand new information to her.

"Nope, butterbeer usually does it," now Remus was definitely snorting.

"I see," Lily rolled her eyes, but loosened up a bit at the prospect of a happy werewolf, "So where do you propose we get three dozen bottles of butterbeer at this hour in the castle. I know for a fact that the kitchens don't serve it."

"Is that right, Evans? And how did that sinful fact make it into that innocent head of yours?" James leaned down a little towards Lily and she crossed and uncrossed her legs nervously at the way he made her feel.

"Glad to know I've still got you fooled, Potter," Lily remarked and she and James grinned at each other stupidly. James made to sit to the other side of her on the bench and Lily felt quite giggly.

"We would get them from outside of the castle," Remus suddenly commented and Lily turned to him with raised eyebrows.

"Oh, glad to hear that you're supporting this, Remus," she had to laugh at Remus' innocent shrug.

"Well, the pumpkin juice is a little bland," the sandy head boy admitted.

"You always said you had fun during the prefects parties!" Lily mock-gasped at him in horror.

"I did," Remus sighed deeply, but quickly changed pace when he caught a glimpse of Lily's crushed pout, "I do! I enjoy an evening talking with you and the other prefects. But honestly, I've had pumpkin juice at dinner. It would be nice to toast with butterbeer for a change," Remus awkwardly caught a grinning James' eye and quickly shifted his gaze back to the bottom of his goblet.

"So how do you propose we get butterbeer at this day and hour?" Lily huffed at the two boys at either side of her, "The gate is closed and I'm pretty sure that we can't use our head privileges to leave the castle in order to get the new prefects good and toasted."

"Ah, Evans, don't wrack your pretty head with the details, it's simply an issue of the right infrastructure," James moved his hand to pat her leg.

"Infrastructure?" Lily shoved the hand off her leg again.

"Yes, you know, the basic physical and organizational structures and facilities needed for the operation of Hogwarts?" She swore, if Remus didn't stop snorting at these stupid comments soon...

"I know what an infrastructure is," Lily said through gritted teeth, "But what of the castle's infrastructure will magically grant us four cases of butterbeer? Is there a statue of Bertha the Beergranter on the third floor I'm not aware of?"

Now Remus raised his head, returned James' mischievous grin and finally spoke, "The tunnels."

"The- what!?" Lily looked back and forth between the two Gryffindor seventh years.

"Not of your concern, love," James lightly stood up from the bench, taking his cosy warmth with him, "Moony, are you coming?"

"I-," Remus looked like there was nothing he would rather do than join his friend in a butterbeer hunt, but undecidedly stared at his hands, "I don't know, James."

James put a hand on each of Remus' shoulders and fixated him with a stern gaze, "Remus, you realize that I'm completely lost without you, right?"

"I Just-"

"I've made the password to the Prefect's Bathroom 'magnificent John', Remus."

"Well, granted that was-"

"Dumbledore is off his rocker to have made me head boy."

"Perhaps-"

"I am thoroughly unequipped to do this, alright? There is no way I'm going to do any this right."

"James, I-"

"I'm telling you, it's gonna be you raising Evans' and my beautiful kids."

" _Potter_!"

"I desperately need you, mate."

"But-"

"Please, Moony."

Remus sighed deeply, closing and opening his eyes slowly before he mumbled, "He's not off his rocker."

"What?"

"Dumbledore," Remus elaborated.

"Huh?" James eyed his friend in confusion.

"He knows what he's doing," Remus finally admitted and James smile stretched from one ear to another as he bear-hugged his skinny friend.

Lily smirked to herself as the two reunited Gryffindor boys exited the prefect's staff room and she tried hard not to let her mind wander to the topic of tunnels that lead outside of Hogwarts.

"Hello," a soft voice sounded behind Lily and she turned her head to see who it belonged to. Behind her, a pale raven-haired girl, who seemed tiny under her massive head of curls, stood in robes accentuated with blue trim.

"Hi!" Lily smiled widely at the petite girl, "you must be Elise. The new prefect for Ravenclaw house?"

"Um, yes," the girl whispered.

"Congratulations on your new title! I'm Lily," the head girl patted the newly free space next to her on the bench and a grateful Elise made to sit beside her.

"Thank you," Elise blushed, "I know who you are. Everyone does."

"Oh, I highly doubt that," Lily waved off modestly, "the red hair is just easy to spot."

"Auburn," Elise breathed out in full admiration of Lily's locks.

"Erm. So, are you excited for your first rounds, Elise? You're up Wednesday already, if I'm reading that chart there right?"

"Yes," Lily was pleased to see the Ravenclaw beam from head to toe, "I can't wait. I can't believe I was made a prefect... Victoria from my dorm always says that I can't be made prefect, but I told her that you're the same as I am, but she wouldn't believe it."

"The same?" Lily was confused.

"Muggleborn," Elise' big brown eyes widened as she whispered the term, "aren't you?"

"Oh," Lily said perplexed, "yes! Yes, I am. Elise, I'm so sorry someone said that you couldn't be made prefect because of that. And from your own house, too! That's terrible. And completely false! Dumbledore and all the professors at Hogwarts agree that heritage has nothing to do with your magical abilities. Don't ever let anyone tell you what you can and cannot be, alright? Being muggleborn is awesome."

"It is?" Elise asked hopefully, but still looked at the head girl in disbelief as she pinned and unpinned her prefect's badge nervously.

"Sure," Lily nodded enthusiastically, "I mean, have you heard any wizard music of late? It's graceless!"

Elise giggled at that and Lily smiled, pleased that she could offer some joy to the friendly fifth year.

"And what about pictures, Elise? I'd like to stare at a photograph of a boy without having to watch him pick his nose for once."

Elise full out laughed at that, "That's true. My chocolate frog card of Agrippa always sticks her tongue out at me. Actually, I've never told anyone this but... I don't really like anything with pumpkin in it."

"Wow, maybe you are in the wrong place," Lily joked and was happy to see Elise relax as the young prefect told Lily all about the things she missed from home, for once not ashamed of her affection for them.

After Lily had announced their plans for Muggle Mondays and had everyone democratically vote on dates for Hogsmeade weekends, James and Remus finally returned to the prefect's staff toom, out of breath and each with two crates of butterbeer in their arms.

"Ready for a real party, everyone?" A giddy James called out from the door, turning Lily weak at the knees with his crooked smile as he passed the glass bottles filled with shining golden liquid to eager prefects. Apparently, the lot of them had been ready for a real party, because Lily had never seen four crates of butter beer consumed at such a rapid pace. Truly, they must've inhaled them. Soon, thirty-something rosy-cheeked prefects were singing 'Hoggy Warty Hogwarts', all in different styles and tempos- of course at James' command and for Lily's benefit, since she had missed her Welcoming Feast. Only after she detected that the two moons of James' curious watch aligned at the top most point, did Lily realize that it was midnight, and she rapidly broke off the glorious festivities and sent everyone back to their dorms in groups by houses. Remus, who Lily had commanded lead the Gryffindor prefects back to their tower, had just parted ways after ruffling her hair to a hay-like mess and chest-bumping James. As Lily desperately tried to insert the tiny key to lock the staff room, she realized that she was alone with Potter at last.

"D'you need any 'elp there, Heavans?" Lily giggled at the old nickname as she finally managed to insert the tiny golden key.

"I'm all set here, Hotter," she poked back at him and laughed as James' face brightened with silly joy, "how many butter beers did you have, if I may ask?" She herself had stuck with her strict minimum of two, and was quite glad for it because James had the habit of turning into a three-year-old when he drank and she had the habit of finding it awfully cute when he did so.

"Only two," James nodded energetically.

"Two?" Lily asked surprised. The number of bottles that had aligned below James' seat on their bench had told a different story.

James scratched his head, deep in thought, "Two... teen."

"What?" the head girl took him by the arm and started steering him into the direction of the West Tower.

"Two-teen," James nodded again.

"Do you mean twelve, James?" Lily grinned as James eyes drifted back into focus.

"Oh... yeah," he started to laugh, "I'm so stupid, Evans."

"Hear hear," they halted in front of Wilfred the Wistful and Lily racked her brain for a good password while James was still cracking up at his own witlessness, "Wilfred, how is that wizards and witches drink to loosen their tongues, but only crap comes out?" Wistful Willie shot her an unimpressed look, but still moved aside to let them enter.

"You're so clever, Lils," James swooned as she dragged him inside and sat him down on one of the couches in their common room.

"Thanks," Lily bit her lip as James threw his robes to the ground along with the tie around his neck. She neatly hung up her on robes on a hook next to their entrance archway, "Alright, James, I'm off to bed."

Lily avoided turning back around as she left, but when she reached the second step of her staircase, a hand grabbed hers from behind. Lily's heartbeat quickened as she turned to face a drunken James.

"Lily," he breathed at her and seemed to sober up as he took her in fully with his hazel eyes.

"James," she whispered back with a shaking voice and Lily felt the heat rise up her neck.

"Slughorn's party is on Saturday," James gaze x-rayed her and Lily felt helpless and exposed. She needed water, liquid, _anything_ to keep her mouth from drying up.

"Y-yes James, that's true," she felt her hand in his starting to shake. _Was this it?_

"Are you going?" James inquired, intently piercing at her through his spectacles.

"Um, I-," Lily had to admit that this was a pretty weak line compared to ones she had heard from him before.

"Because I'm going," James informed her factually.

"That's good," was all Lily managed to breathlessly say back, a little bit shaken by the sudden shift in mood.

"Is it?" he challenged her. Lily was dumbfounded. She wanted to scream _ASK ME OUT!_ at him, but was too chicken to do anything of the sort either.

"W-well yes, if you want to go, you should go, James," was all she offered him and James seemed furious, gripping her hand tighter.

"Yes, but would you like to go?" James demanded from her.

"Would I like to go?" Lily tried to entangle her hand from his grip.

"If I'm going. Would you like to go then?" James let go of her hand and instead ran his through his hair.

"I- yes, James, if you're going I'd still be going," Lily didn't know how to make this less awful for them both. Her face was completely red now and so were James' ears.

"But you know, would you go there at the same time," James persisted.

"At the same time?" _What did that mean? Did he want to carriage-share?_

"With me."

"Go with you?"

"To Slughorns party," James croaked out, seemingly in a lot of pain as he did so.

"I, well, I- yes, James," Lily finally brought herself to say, heart pounding, butterflies going apeshit in her tummy.

"As head girl and boy," James said panicky at the same time that she had agreed to go.

" _What_?" The butterflies died in a massacre.

"As friends. Or colleagues! Or whatever," James added quickly, bracing himself for the worst.

"Oh," Lily said quietly, " _Oh_."

"If you want," James said, already retreating from the staircase.

"Well," Lily said, cursing herself for her own stupidity. Of course, he was over her.

"Wait, what did you say before?" James suddenly asked, as if he had just rewound and re-watched a tape of Lily's previous reaction.

"I- oh, nothing, James," Lily said quickly, but James seemed to have a moment of realization.

He took a deep breath and confidently joined her on the second stair of her staircase, his face now inches from hers, "Lily, will you go to Slughorn's party with me?"

"Sure," Lily nodded, panicking at James' closeness, "as head girl and boy. As you said, right? As friends. Colleagues!" James' determinant and passionate expression immediately fell into anguish.

"Oh," was all he brought out.

"That's what you said, right?" Lily asked, defensively.

"I-," James strained eyes tried to read hers, "yes, that's what I said."

"Well, then that's what you said," Lily nodded, crossing her arms in front her chest.

"I did," James crossed his arms in return, "And that's what you agreed to."

"I suppose I did," Lily retorted.

"Well, then," James seemed at a loss for words.

"Good night, James," Lily turned around and speedily walked up to her chambers.

"I- yes. Good night," was the last Lily heard from downstairs before she managed to slip into her bedroom, banging her head against the door once inside.


	20. Bash

**A/N: Over 100 followers! I'm SO excited! Also, thank you so much to everyone who reviewed- you are truly awesome and you inspire me to write on and on.**

* * *

"So, he asked you out," Dorcas opened a bag of crisps that her mother had sent in a package this morning and crossed her legs as she comfortably sat back on the head girl's grand plush bed. It was Saturday afternoon and Lily, Marlene and Dorcas had met in the head dorms to get an early start on their homework, but in the past hour hadn't even managed to unpack their books. Lily, who had finally swallowed her pride and had given in to sharing the excruciating details of Monday night's disastrous evening, was perched up on her roomy windowsill and stared out at the Quidditch pitch, where in the distance she could make out a single scarlet-clad figure on a broomstick, racing rounds. She could have sworn that the tiny figure had a head of unruly black hair, but knew that the distance was too vast to tell for sure.

"No no no," Lily shook her head energetically in response to Dorcas' rationale. It had been an awful first week of school for the head girl. The workload had tripled in comparison to their previous years at Hogwarts and, on top of that, Lily's extracurricular activities were getting the best of her sanity. Perhaps wearing her golden badge wouldn't be quite as burdensome to her, if the head boy and girl were not fully engaged in a match of 'who can ignore the other more indifferently' during class and head duties as they did now, which all was especially annoying to Lily as she had secretly hoped that they would be doing the exact opposite this year. Now Lily was stuck with going on an explicit _non_ -date with her crush because neither of them had gotten up the courage all week to even speak to one another. For some reason, it even seemed to Lily as though James was getting angrier with her by the hour. But this was simply judging from his grunt-like answers to simple questions and greetings of hers, even though in her mind _she_ was the one that had every reason to be cross with _him_. Perhaps it had something to do with the news of the head boy and girl going to Slughorn's party together as friends (colleagues!?) making the rounds in the castle after Blake Stinton, a handsome (but doltish) sixth year Ravenclaw, had asked Lily to go with him and she had given him an honest answer. Well, somewhat, since she really didn't want to go with him and was glad to instead say that she was taken.

"He simply asked me to go to Slughorn's party with him," Lily tried to explain the situation to her unsympathetic friends.

"Um, as in, he asked you out!?" Marlene called from the bathroom while flossing her teeth and examining her complexion in Lily's mirror.

"That's not-," the head girl grasped her auburn locks in exasperation, "Marlene, you weren't there okay? I know that it sounds like your typical fairytale scenario, but-"

"James catching your hand on the stairway late at night? The dying fire casting romantic shadows upon your faces? 'When I need you' playing in the background!? Yup, I'd call that a fairytale," Marlene tutted and frowned as she pulled at the dark shadows under her eyes.

"Okay, there was no Leo Sawyer playing," Lily huffed, throwing an owl treat to Agnetha, who, after her lengthy stint in the owlery, was back to living in her golden cage next to Lily's bed.

"Oh, bygones! It still sounds like the single most romantic proposal in Hogwarts history," Marlene insisted, now poking at a red spot at the tip of her nose as her tongue hung out of the side of her mouth.

"It wasn't like that, though" Lily sighed, absentmindedly drawing the number 27 into the dust that had settled on her window sill.

"Well, then what was it like?" Dorcas asked, by now clearly peeved with Lily's vagueness, as she shoved the last of the crisps into her mouth and sprawled on Lily's light blue duvet.

"It was," Lily shuddered at the memory of James' falling face, "like, remember when Pettigrew asked you out, Dori?"

"Don't," Dorcas' expression instantly grew dark as she crunched the empty crisp bag into a small ball in her fist, "my single most miserable moment in dating history cannot be equated to anything else on this planet, alright? _Especially_ not to a situation in which the boy you're head over heels for is asking you out to a posh party in Hogsmeade."

"Well, alright, maybe it wasn't _that_ bad. At least he didn't puke on my shoes after," Lily ducked a flying pillow, "but it was like… like he needed me to say it before he did, you know?"

"Can't really fault him for that, Lily," Marlene said from the bathroom, examining and fluffing her dark fringe.

"Yes I can!" Lily called, frustrated that Marlene didn't implicitly take her side in this, "I don't want to be with someone who is too insecure to ask me out!"

"Wow, Lily, are you for real?" Marlene asked, her tone now somewhat accusatory, "If there's one thing you can't fault Pothead for, it's that."

Lily sighed deeply. Even though she could somewhat comprehend where Marlene was coming from, she still couldn't help but be disappointed that James' usual courage had failed him. To her, it proved that he was over her. Or at least didn't care enough about her to forget his insecurities. She couldn't decide which was worse.

"Let's just drop the subject, okay?" Lily sighed. The fleeting look that Dorcas and Marlene shared didn't go unnoticed by her, but she still felt like they couldn't have an unobscured opinion since they hadn't been present during the actual fiasco.

"Fine," Dorcas said lightly, breaking the silence, "consider it dropped. Did you hear that Alexa Johnson's mother sent her this beautiful cerulean shawl in the post this morning?"

"Ooh, _cerulean_ ," Marlene mock-gushed, "That sounds so much posher than saying what it actually is- blue."

"Well, if it's cerulean, it's cerulean Marls," Dorcas stuck her tongue out at the raven-haired Quidditch goddess, "She claims that it's an heirloom of Helena Ravenclaw herself! I got a good look at it during breakfast, it's truly divine."

"Okay, I don't want to talk about this either," Lily pouted, envious of anything that Alexa had, including snogging know-how with James Potter.

"Fine, so what are you wearing on your non-date tonight then?" Dorcas challenged her, grinning widely.

"That's what you call dropping the subject!?" Lily threw herself on her friend, tickling the giggling Gryffindor mercilessly as they rolled all over the bed.

"What!?" Dorcas gasped between heaps of giggles, "We're talking fashion! Fashion is allowed, Mrs. Potter!"

"Don't call me-" Dorcas finally caught hold of Lily's wrists and the heaving girls were stuck intertwined in an awkward position, "Lemme go!"

When Dorcas finally did so, Lily walked over to her beautiful wooden closet and held up the silky light blue dress robes she had picked out for tonight.

"My mum got me these at Diagon Alley this summer," Lily grinned as the other two girls gushed over the exquisite robes, "Thank you Madam Malkin's Summer Super Sale!"

"Ooh, way to go Mama Evans!" Marlene stroked her fingers over the pattern of silver stars that were stitched across the whole gown.

"I know, right?" Lily smiled to herself, holding the silk up to her figure.

"Your future husband will love those," Dorcas teased once more, wriggling her eyebrows shamelessly in the process. Lily elbowed Dorcas in the side, but grinned to herself nonetheless as she put the outfit back on its hanger in the roomy closet. In secret, she _was_ looking forward to James' reaction when she came down to meet him later tonight.

"What are you wearing, Marls?" Lily inquired as she shut her creaking closet door.

"Something as black and immoral as my heart and soul, Lilikins," Malene winked at her two friends.

"Excellent," Lily stuck her tongue out at her and turned to Dorcas, "Are you still certain that you don't want to come along, Dori? I'm sure one of the blokes that asked you to the party would overlook their egos if you accepted now."

"Oh please," Dorcas waved Lily off, "I've got a study date with Malcom Maldey tonight. A study date. On a _Saturday_ night!? I'm banking on that Hufflepuff tower being de-serted, if you know what I mean."

"Pretty sure even Agnetha got that Kraken-sized hint, Meadowes," Marlene snickered and the other two girls giggled in anticipation.

* * *

"OI EVANS, ARE YOU COMING OR WHAT!?" Lily heard James' aggravated voice bellow up to her bedroom.

It was seven-thirty already and Lily only just finished applying her mascara when she heard James Potter's ill-tempered shouts. The head girl took one long last look at her reflection in the full-length mirror on the back of her door, finally pleased with her appearance. She had clasped a slim belt around her waist so that the dress robes accentuated her figure more and had bewitched her auburn mane into glamorous waves which were held back behind one ear with a silver comb in the shape of a lily. Lily breathed in anticipation at James' reaction, turned the golden knob to open her bedroom door, and swiftly stepped out onto the staircase.

James, however, apparently didn't feel like gushing at her beauty tonight.

"Finally," the thoroughly bitter James barely skimmed her with his gaze before making to stand from the sofa, seeming completely unfazed by his date's appearance, "Let's see if there's even a carriage left to take us to this sodden party then."

Despite being a little stricken by his less than magical mood, Lily had to admit that she had never seen him quite so handsome before. James Fleamont Potter was by no means ever unattractive, but he usually made a point of giving off a somewhat disheveled appearance, perhaps making himself seem a bit more careless and a tad cooler to the outside world than was his natural state. Today, his tailored dress robes reminded Lily of the sharp muggle suits the upper-class elite wore to the posh parties that were photographed and displayed in the _Telegraph_ \- black as the night and with pristine white cuffs. His black shoes were so shiny they reflected the orange light of the dying fire. Lily had a hard time taking her eyes off him, as James' fitted robes made her knees weak.

"Are you planning on spending the entire evening between the third and eighth step, or are you going to come down this century, Evans? The Thestrals are probably already off duty by now, so don't bother picking up the pace any time soon," Lily scrunched her nose at James' rude tone, but swiftly joined him downstairs to step out through the archway and into the candle-lit corridor.

She continued to grow quite perplexed as James ignored her during their walk. Instead of making polite conversation, as she had anticipated him to do, the head boy merely dug his hands deep into his robe pockets and promptly marched all the way down to the Great Hall without so much as another word, while she had trouble keeping up in her satin heels.

Despite of James' prior remarks, several carriages were still positioned in front of the castle. However, Lily had to admit that apparently, all other Hogwarts guests had already left towards Hogsmeade, as only Argus Filch was left standing in front of the castle doors, eyeing them suspiciously as he took their permission slips. As the silent couple halted in front of the nearest carriage, James held out his hand and Lily momentarily was under the impression that he was offering to help her inside. The head boy was, however, only checking his wristwatch and stepped into the driverless carriage with a huff before Lily had a chance grip his arm.

Lily awkwardly clambered into the carriage whilst trying not to tear her beautiful gown and took a seat opposite of James, who was glaring out the fogged-up window in what seemed like silent rage. The head girl briefly considered if she should join James in this exhilarating match of 'who can care less', but decided to instead go for the civil alternate route, as she figured that it wouldn't help either of them if she joined in staring out into blank nothingness.

"I'm staying in my old dorm tonight," Lily started conversationally, "Marls and Dori invited me over for a sleepover, so I'll be heading back up with Marlene later."

James responded with icy silence.

"The new prefects haven't had any trouble during their rounds this week from what I've heard. One incident with a third year Slytherin out of bed was brought to my attention, but apparently, the boy was only searching for his pet cat and lost track of time. I don't think we even docked points for that one, actually," Lily continued, in the hopes that James would let himself be entangled in her waterfall of words like he usually did.

James Potter, however, didn't budge. Sodding ego.

"You look really nice tonight, James," Lily tried as the carriage started up with a jerk, and quirkily added, "Dapper, if you will!"

James continued in staring out the window, but eventually managed a brisk, "Thanks," through gritted teeth.

Lily rolled her eyes at the carriage ceiling in frustration and spoke to herself, "Oh, you look nice too, Lily! Thanks, James! _So_ nice to be spending this evening with you."

"Sorry, Evans, I forget that you're used to my unwavering attention," James growled in unbidden response as he tilted his head and eyed her with what seemed to Lily like quite genuine loathe, "You _do_ look nice. Like a Beauxbaton babe meets Dumbledore's night gown. Looking to shag some deserving righteous bloke tonight?"

Lily gaped at James, at first hurt and humiliated at his comment, then infected with the white-hot rage he so easily emanated. For a moment, Lily wanted to spit back that he looked like a penguin on his way to Azkaban, but she decided then that she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of responding to his nasty insults. Instead, Lily crossed her arms and legs and bore her heated gaze into his. Apparently, he did feel some shame for what he had said to her, because James ears turned red and he began nervously fidgeting with his watch under her glare. After another few excruciatingly silent minutes of hate-staring and fidgeting, their carriage finally halted in front of the Three Broomsticks with a jolt. Lily could make out excruciatingly joyous chattering and loud upbeat music from behind the glowing bright windows of the tavern. With a crash, she slammed open the carriage door, hopped down in front of the locale, and entered the cosy warm setting without so much as another glance in the direction of her obnoxious date.

"Ms. Evans!" Professor Slughorn's roaring voice boomed through the Three Broomsticks as soon as the head girl had barely taken two hasty steps inside, "The wonderful and talented Lily Evans! Meet the Bott's brothers, please do. Oh, and you must be familiar with Vamilia Ronan's work, she is an expert on modern love potions, a true delight," Lily shook hands left and right as she made her way through the crowd to Slughorn, "And who's this you brought, Ms. Evans? Oh, don't say, head boy and head girl are finally joined? I do always say, my parties are true matchmaker events!" Lily turned to see that James had sulkily trailed inside after her and was now crammed behind her in the packed bar. She had an unpleasant déja vu of Severus at Gryffindor parties.

"Oh no," Lily laughed merrily into the round, "we're only here in representation of the school, Professor. As colleagues, if you will!" James cast a dark glance in her direction and Lily's mood lifted loads at the sight of it.

"Ah, overcoming your differences to unite the student body in these difficult times. Truly inspiring, the two of you!" Slughorn beamed at the afflicted head girl and boy and turned to fish out another miserable looking individual from the squished crowd of people, "Ms. Evans, do meet Vilnius Krum. He is the keeper for the Bulgarian National Quidditch team. At only twenty years of age, mind you! Talk of the town is, that he'll be team captain by next spring. But shhh, you didn't hear it from me! Isn't that right Vinnie?"

"Absolutely fascinating," Lily swooned loudly, and enthusiastically held out her hand to the sickly-pale Krum. She forcefully suppressed the giggle jammed in her throat as she heard James' disbelieving snort close to her ear. Vilnius had obviously taken her choke-giggle as encouragement, as the young man's lips coiled into a sleazy smile.

"You hav ze figure ov an athlete, Miz Ivans. Vat position do you play?" the gloomy looking Bulgarian demanded as he crushed her hand and, to her dismay, looked Lily up and down like she was a horse he was looking to buy.

"Who, me?" Lily threw her locks over her shoulder, despite of her morals, "Oh no, I'm merely an admirer of the sport. And its players, of course!"

James let out a heated grunt, but also held his hand out to Krum.

"And you?" Krum eyed James suspiciously.

"James Potter, chaser and Quidditch captain for Gryffindor," James said with a rising chest and Krum winced under the crushing hand shake.

"Ah," Vilnius cast an uncertain look at James, and then Lily.

"So, a keeper then, Vinnie?" James mockingly feigned interest, "What's it like playing a position that could easily be filled in by a large log?"

"Vat?" the Bulgarian blinked, certain that he had misunderstood the young Brit.

"You see, Evans' here admiration is limited to those actually involved in the game. Not intended for those keen on the sidelines, if you know what I mean" James lazily wrapped an uninvited arm around Lily's shoulder and Krum's beady eyes followed the calloused hand that now gripped her small shoulder.

"I'm sure you could teach me loads though," Lily fluttered her lashes at the Bulgarian keeper and shoved James' hand off easily.

James snorted and snapped, "Oh please, like you could even begin to understand the nuances of the game, Evans."

A rosy-cheeked Lily turned to face the antagonizing head boy and hissed, "What is that supposed to mean, Potter? If you hadn't noticed, I'm quite perceptive."

"Perceptive, right," James laughed loudly, "You've got the emotional susceptibility of a hippogriff, Evans. You couldn't fathom the simplest Quidditch moves, if your life depended on it!"

Krum's gaze shifted between Lily and James, obviously uncertain if he was still a part of this conversation.

"Oh right, now that you mention it, I'm suddenly remembering all the life-threatening situations I could have overcome, if _only_ I had paid more attention to your ridiculous Bonski-bluff gibberish! Get over yourself, you sodding tosser!" Lily shoved him away from her, but the room was far too crowded and James stayed put next to her.

"It's _Wronski_ , you dimwitted shrew! And if you had, you'd know that _Vinnie_ is a lousy excuse for a national player," James hissed in her ear and Lily's heart leapt with excitement and rage.

"Oh, the wonderfully enthusiastic Hogwarts head students," Slughorn's whiskey-laden voice suddenly boomed over their heads as he crushingly took Lily and James under one of his massive arms each, "now now, you two, let's try and get along, why don't we?"

The slurring Slughorn released them both from his laden grip and the freed Lily fanned her face with the waving of her hand, ignoring the mean gleam in James' eyes and returning her attention to the Bulgarian keeper, "It is quite hot in here, isn't it Vilnius?"

The Quidditch player's eyes sparkled as he realized that Lily's attention had fallen back on him, "I vill get zeh lady a drink." Krum sluggishly kissed her hand and made off towards the bar.

"What are you doing, Evans?" James rounded on Lily when Krum vanished out of sight in the loudly chattering crowd.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Potter," Lily retorted airily, "Can't blame a girl for taking a chance on a righteous bloke, can you?"

"You know I didn't mean that!" James spat back at her in passion.

"Oh, is that supposed to be an apology? Could have fooled me," Lily turned to leave towards the bar, where she had spotted Marlene and Sirius earlier, but James gripped her upper arm tightly.

"Alright, I'm sorry," James gave in, pulling her towards him, "I was mad."

"And about what exactly?" Lily provoked the fire behind his eyes.

" _You_ know," he said urgently, averting his gaze.

"I really don't, James," Lily retorted, laughing at the silliness of it all, "So, if you don't mind, I'm going to find dear Vilnius and my drink now."

James growled, "You can't-".

"Oh, but I can," she snapped back and freed herself from James' grip. As she made her way through the crowd and towards the bar, she spotted that James briskly steered towards the exit out of the corner of her eye. She also spotted dear Vilnius and ducked when the Bulgarian scanned the room in search for her.

"Finally, some sane people," Lily huffed as she perched on a newly empty bar stool (a fifth year Ravenclaw had fled at the sight of her) right next to Sirius Black.

"I wouldn't go that far, beautiful," Sirius downed what, by the empty glasses in front of him, had to be his third pint of the evening, "OI, Rosie! Would you be so kind to get another round for me and the lovely ladies over here? And by lovely, I mean unremarkable in the light of your unfathomable allure, of course."

"Thanks, Black," Marlene rolled her eyes, but smiled widely at Madam Rosmerta's girlish giggles as the rosy-cheeked barkeeper placed three golden butterbeers and three shot glasses of amber firewhiskey over the counter and in front of the Gryffindors. Lily gladly downed the brown liquid in a swift motion, quickly following the bitter drink up with a sip of sweet butterbeer to make it go down easier.

"So," Marlene grinned at her, "I'm guessing that your date with Potter isn't going as dreamy as Dorcas and I had anticipated? Did I see him just leave?"

Sirius Black almost dropped his shot glass as his eyes grew wide, "You're on a date with Prongs?"

"No," Lily rolled her eyes at Marlene, "those are just Marlene's delusions talking."

"Oh, I'm delusional?" Marlene laughed incredulously, "Okay, Black, listen to this- Monday night, after Lilikins and Pothead went back to their dorm together late in the night, our dear head boy, drunk off his ass on butterbeer mind you, asked if Lily was going to Slughorn's party and if they should both go together."

Sirius barked, "So he wanted to carriage-share, or what?"

"THANK you!" Lily slammed her hand on the counter, nearly knocking over the bottles of butterbeer in her enthusiasm.

"Oh, come on, that was his way of asking Lily out!" Marlene said defensively, elbowing Black in the side.

Sirius grinned and raised his eyebrows, "Marls, if the lad can't be bothered to formulate the actual sentence, that's not a date I'd want to be on."

"See!" Lily triumphantly squealed and pointed a finger at Marlene chest in triumph.

"That being said," Sirius went on, solemnly, "James has been rejected by our dearest Lily an embarrassing number of times. You can't blame the bloke for being cautious, can you? Maybe he wanted to save you both from living in the same dorm under constant awkwardness for an entire year, in case you refused. Which, given your shared history, is not an unlikely scenario. Also, he does have his pride. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing."

"Ah-hah!" Marlene yelped jubilantly as Lily frowned at the handsome boy next to her.

"But the way he asked me out in fifth year wasn't real," Lily argued with Sirius, "he just shouted proposals across a room full of people at me."

"Women," Sirius rolled his eyes dramatically, but grinned, "You find it insensitive, if the whole student body is present, but then he's being too apprehensive for you when he does it in the privacy of your secluded dormitory? Make up your mind, love."

Lily stared at the golden liquid that filled the bottle in her hand, knowing full well that Sirius had a point.

"I just," Lily sighed deeply, "Love, or whatever, should come easily, shouldn't it? I'm not saying that the whole process can't be complex and disastrous at times. That's become apparent to me, believe you me. But the love part shouldn't be this hard, right? I don't want the us to be so afraid of getting hurt, that we won't even risk the crash. Is to is it too much to ask, to be swept off my feet, damn it!?"

"No," Sirius said slowly as he locked his stormy eyes with her emerald ones and smiled, "but question remains, love- are you willing to sweep him off his in return?"

Lily examined her butter beer closely. Did it matter what the other students would make of them? What Severus would think of her? Did she care enough for James to ignore her head and instead trust her instincts, her heart? Lily knew the answer to these questions, and finally she nodded, slowly. When she looked back into Sirius' eyes, they both smiled at each other.

"I need to go," Lily said breathlessly, beaming at both of her friends.

"I think you should," Marlene grinned and Sirius kissed the side of her head with a smack in celebration.

* * *

As Lily headed back up to the castle in a driver-less carriage, cooling her glowing forehead on the ice cold windows, she pictured James. She imagined his reaction when she finally told him how she felt and her whole body felt dizzy and weightless, while her heart was calm and full in a way she couldn't quite describe. When the carriage finally halted in front of Hogwarts castle after what felt like a century, Lily raced up the hundreds of steps towards their dormitory, up up up, her steps echoing loudly in the deserted castle, until she, panting and with a sting in her side, finally reached the statue of Wilfred the Wistful.

Later, if someone asked her, she wouldn't be able to recite what profound question she had offered Wilfred to grant her access to the head dormitory that night. She would only recall a single detail that stung through the thick tears that consumed her vision as she stumbled blindly through the castle, aimlessly making her way towards the Gryffindor tower in the darkness. She would remember cerulean.


	21. Patrol

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the long delay! Holidays, craziness, you know the drill. Love you all, enjoy, and please review!**

* * *

The dying fire warmed her face, but Lily's hands were freezing as she sat curled into one of the large cushy armchairs of the Gryffindor common room. The flames painted a pretty picture; dancing shadows that pressed through her closed lids. Her skin felt raw and puffy as she inhaled deeply under the curtain of hair that covered most of her face like a veil or a shield from the outside world. After spending a tormented night letting rage and bitterness run through her, there was only one feeling left that she hadn't cried out in the sea of tears. Deep down in the pit of her stomach, Lily felt sad beyond repair. She was heartbroken.

"Has she said anything?" Sirius' low voice spoke up somewhere close behind her.

"Nope. Not a peep since last night," Dorcas whispered back. Judging from their hushed voices, the group of Gryffindors gathered around Lily were under the honest impression that she was fast asleep. Maybe she was after all, Lily thought, or dreamed, and wished that her hands wouldn't feel quite as cold as they did, or that they at least would go numb, like her insides were.

"Last night?" she could make out a worried sounding Remus amongst the group, "She said something last night?"

"Well… yes," Dorcas paused, seemingly in conflict with herself over if she was breaking a code by entrusting the others with what she knew. Lily could care less. Could she become any more humiliated than she was now? It was highly doubtful.

Dorcas seemed to silently agree and continued slowly, "She kept saying… A word."

"A word?" it was Peter Pettigrew with his irregular, squeaky voice.

"Shh! Yes, a word," Dorcas responded, stalling while still uncertain if she should continue.

"Which would be?" Sirius urged on with growing impatience.

Dorcas sighed deeply before she sheepishly mumbled, "Cerulean."

"Serulevan!?" Sirius blurted loudly.

"Shh!" Marlene hissed, and apparently inflicted some sort of pain upon Sirius, since a suppressed wail erupted from the boy, "Ce _rulean_ , you buggering wanker."

"Yes," Dorcas spoke up, calmly, "She stormed in through the portrait hole at around nine-thirty, tears streaming down her face, and all I could make out between sobs was 'cerulean'."

"Ce _roo_ vean," Sirius repeated incorrectly.

"Yes, Black, cerulean," Marlene snapped back impatiently, and Lily could practically hear her rolling her eyes at the other boys, who were surely as unaware as Sirius of the gravity of the word.

"Oh, okay," Sirius responded in a mocking tone, but it was missed by Dorcas and Marlene.

"Yes, I know, it's horrible," Marlene declared and started to stroke Lily's limp auburn locks out of her face.

"Yes," Sirius agreed, before he thought it over, "Wait… what?"

"Just awful," Dorcas added solemnly, sniffing a little as she said the words.

"But," Sirius argued dumbly with the two Gryffindor girls.

"What is sheruvean?" Peter finally dared to ask.

"A colour, Pete!" Dorcas rounded on him for being an insensitive pig, forgetting all about how they were speaking softly out of respect for Lily's seemingly peaceful slumber, "the colour of the devil, of course!"

"Ohh," Peter said as if everything was falling into place, "Wait… what?"

"Don't look at me!" Remus suddenly voiced defensively.

"So… what's the deal with cerubrian?" Sirius tried again with growing impatience.

"Don't you pay attention AT ALL!?" Dorcas suddenly flipped and Sirius wailed again in pain, "How many times are we supposed to explain this to you block heads?!"

"I swear you haven't explained it once," Sirius argued back in a growl.

"Actually, he's right," Remus agreed softly.

"Are we going to breakfast soon?" Peter squeaked innocently.

"Breakfast?!" Lily heard the crunching sound of Marlene pulling Peter towards her by his red-and-gold tie, "How can you even think about a meal right now, when we've got a code cerulean on our hands, Pettigrew!?" Lily opened her eyes a crack and observed through her lashes that the group had gathered around the fireplace in front of her.

"Okay, easy there McKinnon," Sirius tentatively removed Marlene's hands from closing around Peter's neck, "Why don't you just explain the situation to us without using encrypted messages or code words, huh?"

"Cerulean," Dorcas sighed as if she was explaining a Wronski bluff to senior muggle citizens, "is the colour of Alexa Johnson's new shawl."

"What's a shawl?" Peter promptly asked with bright eyes.

"Um, a shawl is an item of SO BESIDE THE POINT, PETER!" Marlene screeched at the stout boy, who cowered away quickly. Lily thought it was probably a good time to start 'waking up' before anyone got seriously injured.

"Ah," Sirius mouth coiled into a bitter smile, "of course."

"James, James, James," Remus ran a pale hand through his sand coloured hair.

"Well, I guess there was actually a silver lining to my study night with Madley ending at eight-thirty, after he had deemed my Charms essay as adequate," Dorcas grunted through gritted teeth, "at least someone was here when she came through the portrait. By the look of her, Lily's next stop was a nice jump off the Astronomy Tower."

Sirius barked loudly, "You had a study date on a Saturday night and _studied_?"

"SO glad you're finding this amusing, Black!" Dorcas hissed back and Sirius yelped when she almost shoved right into the fireplace.

"Good morning," Lily announced softly and the group whipped around to face her.

"Lily!" Marlene and Dorcas jumped to embrace her, while a guilt-stricken expression immediately crossed the boys' faces.

"Are you alright?" Dorcas demanded, stroking her friend's long hair.

"Do you need anything?" Marlene soothingly took Lily's hands into hers, "SWEET MERLIN, were your hands kissed by a dementor!?"

"Marls!" Dorcas eyed Marlene accusatorily, "Do you want us to go get you something from downstairs for breakfast?" Lily truly appreciated her friends' fussing about, as it made her feel more like she was a sick patient with a broken limb, rather than an ordinary girl with a broken heart.

"Breakfast sounds amazing," Peter spoke up, and Remus and Sirius instantly elbowed him in either side in a swift move, but Lily smiled at the inconsiderate boy with the watery eyes nonetheless.

"Yes Peter, breakfast does sound amazing, doesn't it? Let's head downstairs," the redhead did not fail to notice the looks that were passed around the group as she swiftly stood up from her cosy armchair, but chose to fully ignore them as she brushed her hair out of her face.

"Lily, are you sure?" Marlene urgently whispered, so that only Dorcas and she could hear.

"Sure I'm sure," Lily said aloofly, but her friends' expression showed that they weren't going to buy her indifferent act one bit, "Look. I didn't get what I want last night, alright? I know that. It sucks, believe me. But I sat in that chair crying all night, and guess what; nothing about my situation has changed. All I can do now is move on. Or at least try to. And all I can do to that effect at this moment is eat breakfast with my friends, because that makes me feel a little happier, alright? So let's just go downstairs. How do I look?"

"Um," replied Marlene matter-of-factly.

"Uh," Dorcas swallowed.

"You look like shit, sweety," Marlene scrunched her small nose.

"Marls!" Dorcas said in horror and slapped the dark-haired girl's upper arm.

"Well?!" Marlene said defensively, rubbing the spot that Dorcas had just hit.

"You could use a little freshening up, is all," Dorcas smiled widely and lovingly at the head girl, and Lily's heart sank further, "Do you want something to put on?"

"I'm cold," Lily mumbled, rubbing her arms as she shivered.

"Black!" Marlene called over to three boys that were standing huddled in a circle next to the portrait hole, talking in hushed voiced while they waited for the girls to finish up.

"Yes, princess?" Sirius cooed, grinning over goofily.

"Go get one of your sweatshirts from upstairs. Lily is turning into an icicle."

Sirius' eyebrows rose up high, but he did as he was told without further discussion and made his way up to the boys' dormitory with his hands shoved deep inside his pockets.

"Can't I just borrow something of yours?" Lily pleaded, irritated with whatever mission Dorcas and Marlene had.

"No," Marlene responded swiftly while looking her petite friend up and down, "Look, pumpkin, you're basically porcelain doll, right? Maybe one who's spent the night being chewed on by a stray werewolf, but still, you look great. We'll get you into a guy's sweater and fix your hair, and that's really all you need."

At that moment, the portrait hole swung open.

"You won't believe it," Preena Patil stepped in through the portrait hole, her long hair up in an elegant bun, "the entire Great Hall is talking about nothing else. James Potter and Alexa Johnson are dating again!"

Marlene bit her lip as Lily's eyes glazed over.

"Right. I'll go get the mascara," Dorcas nodded, turned on her heal and made to head up to the girls' dormitories.

* * *

The Great Hall was buzzing with people. It was past nine-thirty, and most of the student body had made it down to a relaxed Sunday morning breakfast by now. Lily tugged at her large black sweater that smelled soothingly of Sirius' spicy musk and cigarettes. Marlene and Dorcas had pulled her auburn locks into a high ponytail to cover its limpness and heaped a good bit of makeup under her eyes. Still, Lily knew that the puffiness and her general appearance of fatigue had to be obvious to anyone that stepped closer than a few yards. And at this point, she didn't truly care.

"There they are," Lily followed Dorcas' gaze to the Ravenclaw table, where Potter and Johnson sat closely together, sharing a piece of toast, "Oh, sorry Lily, I didn't mean to point them out like this!"

Lily swallowed hard, but the lump in her throat only seemed to grow as she couldn't help but watch the couple intently. Johnson threw her head back, giggling loudly at something that James had whispered in her ear.

"It's fine," Lily sighed deeply as she pulled her gaze away from the two, "I mean, it's going to be fine." She added a silent 'hopefully', as the group of Gryffindors steered towards their designated table and sat down in the few empty seats that were left at the far end of the hall, close to the professors' table. Dorcas and Marlene settled in to either side of Lily, like they were her personal escort, and Remus, Peter and Sirius took seats close them on the opposite side of the table.

"Stupid weasel, shoving it in your face like that," Dorcas fussed as she spread jam on a crispy golden toast. Lily's stomach turned at the sight of the food that was usually so delicious to her. She feared that she wouldn't be able to keep down one bite, but Dorcas had already placed the jam-covered toast in her hand and swiftly continued in topping a second one for herself. Lily nibbled at the jam. It wasn't as bad as she thought it would be.

"Well, since Lily and James are not dating, I don't think he's rubbing anything in anyone's face, right?" Marlene shrugged as she reached her hand out for a plate of fruit placed at the centre of the table.

"Marlene!" Dorcas hollered, throwing her jam toast at the brunette Quidditch player, "How can you even say something like that!?"

"OI!" Marlene spat a grape seed back into the huffing Dorcas' golden locks.

"Dori, she's right," Lily sighed as she ducked from being attacked with breakfast foods. Even though she didn't appreciate Marlene's honesty as much as she might have liked, Lily had to admit the truth behind it, "James didn't do anything wrong. I didn't ask him out and he didn't ask me out. Not officially anyway. If he has feelings for Alexa Johnson, he should be with her."

"Sorry to break it to you love, but I'm not entirely sure that feelings need to be involved here," Sirius chimed in as he took a gulp from his pitch black coffee.

"Fantastic," Lily rolled her eyes, "thanks for the well wishes, Black."

"I'm saying this is a good thing!" Sirius claimed defensively, "Just because he's shagging Johnson, doesn't mean he wouldn't much rather shag you." It was Remus' buttered toast that now flew across the table and landed on Sirius' jumper, "OI! Careful with the eatables, Moony, I'm giving my clothes away to charity cases left and right here!"

"What he's trying to say," Remus moved on, fully ignoring Sirius, "is that even though James may be actively... seeing Alexa Johnson again... that does not necessarily mean that he still likes her."

"Right, I should've said that differently, more tactful," Sirius nodded solemnly as he wolfed down his newly acquired buttered toast, "What I meant to say is, that even though James is likely shagging Alexa Johnson, that doesn't mean he wouldn't much rather hold your clammy cold hands instead. Blimey, he'd probably settle for eating your fingernails as crisps for dinner!"

"That's absolutely grotesque, Black," Lily scrunched her nose at the image in her head.

"Yes, love," Sirius nodded again in agreement, "Yes it is."

"And it doesn't in the least change the one problem that remains," Lily continued soberly.

"Which is?" Sirius inquired, taking another swig of his coffee.

"That he's likely shagging Alexa Johnson," Lily sighed, and she felt tears swelling up again. As she quickly looked over her shoulder, she could have sworn that James' head was turned towards the Gryffindor table as well. But when she blinked the tears away and her vision cleared, his gaze had already shifted back to Alexa's tea, and Lily couldn't be entirely sure of what she had seen.

* * *

"Are you sure you want to go?" Dorcas asked her in an unusually sweet tone. The group of Gryffindors was lounging around their favourite spot around the fireplace in the Gryffindor tower. Remus and Peter were fully absorbed in a match of chess, which Remus was losing miserably, while the rest were just finishing up their laborious transfiguration homework.

"Yes, I'm sure," Lily nodded, packing up her quill and parchment back into the book bag that Remus had retrieved for her from the Head Dorms during lunch time, "I can't just not show up for rounds. Especially now as head girl, even despite of me not liking my rounds partner. Rather, in spite of liking him, I should say."

"But it will be so shitty," Marlene argued, pulling at Lily's arm to try and get her to stay.

"Yup," Lily agreed, removing herself from Marlene's grip and as she stood up from the sofa. Lily had managed to take a shower after breakfast and was feeling much better already, now that she smelled of her old friend, the abandoned papaya shower gel. The group of Gryffindors had proven to be as loyal as their reputation made them out to be, and they had spent the whole day together, strolling across the windy school grounds and engaging in different attempts to cheer Lily up. This consisted mainly of Sirius levitating and burying a flailing Peter Pettigrew under the heaps of leaves that Hagrid had raked into huge piles all over the lawn. Now that the sun had set, it was time for Lily to meet James in the Prefects' Staff Room to commence in their first patrols together.

"Tell you what," Sirius looked up from burning a hole into the sofa cushions with his wand, "I'll pick you up after you're done and I'll treat you for dessert."

"Dessert?" Lily inquired suspiciously, crossing her arms in front of her chest after she had lifted her book bag over her shoulder.

"We'll check if there's pumpkin pie leftovers in the kitchens," Sirius nodded, wriggling his eyebrows at her suggestively.

"Hm," Lily thought over the proposal before she nodded back, grinning a little, "yeah, okay Black."

"Alright, see you later, Ace," Sirius gave her a thumbs up and Marlene wore an annoyed expression as she eyed the two.

"Bye now," Lily waved, and the group murmured back a lazy farewell in unison.

As Lily turned her final corner on the fifth floor, she saw that a yellow light glowed behind the window of the Prefects' Staff Room door and cast long shadows of the statues along the hallway. When Lily made it to the door, she took a deep breath and stepped inside.

James Potter sat at the large wooden table situated at the centre of the rectangular room, pouring over sheets of parchment as his spectacles slid down the rim of his nose.

"Hey," Lily breathed nervously. James looked up at her and she shuddered under his gaze and the tension that filled the room.

"Hi," James said back softly, averting his eyes quickly and fixating on the parchments in front of him, "I've been trying to have a go at next month's patrol schedules. Most Quidditch teams are upping their training sessions starting October, and there are quite a few overlaps of players and prefects. McGonagall says, she doesn't remember it being this conflicting since she's started here."

Lily stepped over to where James was sitting and looked over his shoulder at the large timetables that were filled with his narrow handwriting, "Well first of all, the fifth years can accompany each other, now that they've got the hang of things. So you don't need to pair them with upperclassmen anymore."

"Right," James crossed out a few unfortunate pairings on the parchment.

"And you can't group Avency and Donough together," Lily reached over James' shoulder and touched the sheet where the names stood together with her index finger, "They had a bad breakup last spring and every time they're near each other, it harms the school more than they help it."

"Yeah?" James crossed out two slots and craned his neck to look up to where Lily stood behind him.

"Yes," Lily nodded and scanned the sheet once more, "And why have you paired us together each Sunday night?" The head girl tapped the column where her and James' name stood together over and over again underneath each other.

"I thought it'd be good to combine our weekly meetings with a patrol," James turned to look back at the parchment and tapped his quill rapidly in a nervous habit, blotting the sheet with dark ink at its upper right-hand corner, "Thought it'd save us both some time. Should I cross it?"

Lily bit her lip and twirled her ponytail around her finger, "No. No, that's okay."

"What, Evans?" James ran a hand through his hair and Lily closed her eyes as she breathed in the intoxicating scent that surged up from the top of his head, "You can't stand to take a bloody walk around the castle with me one hour a week?"

"I said that it's fine," Lily said back, snapping a little, and then added without thinking, "I just thought you might've wanted to patrol with Alexa."

To her dread, she had said the words out loud. James' head turned again to look back up at her and Lily's cheeks flushed pink.

"Or Remus or Kendrick or someone!" she added quickly.

"Oh," James said, turning back to the sheet and shook his head, "No, I'm good. Unless you have another preference? Nice shirt, by the way."

Lily's heart raced as she tucked at Sirius' jumper, which hung loosely on her frame, "Thanks. Erm. No. No, that's okay. Sundays work for me."

"Brilliant," James said overenthusiastically, pulling away his hand as he noticed the ink-drunk hole that had formed where he had tapped his quill, "Are we heading out, then?"

"Yes, okay," Lily stood back so that James could move out of his chair. Now that he stood so closely to her, she saw that he looked a bit tired as well. Then again, she didn't even want to know what she looked like right now. She had been avoiding mirrors all day.

"D'you reckon we're set for the Muggle Monday kickoff tomorrow?" James inquired after they had walked a few corridors in awkward silence, "we haven't really discussed it since the last Prefects Meeting."

Lily was glad for the kind offer of small talk, "Yes, I think everything is in order. I've been collecting terms all week and now I just have to copy them onto strips of parchment."

"I could help you out with that," James offered politely.

"Oh," Lily held her illuminated wand out to cast a spotlight down an empty corridor, "thank you for the offer... it's just-"

"Come on, Evans," James' polite tone was coated with a hint of desperation now, "I know it's been- just let me help you out, okay?"

"It's not that," Lily responded quietly, tucking a few strands of hair behind her left ear, "I just didn't want you to see what I've written down because I thought you might like to play."

"Oh!" James sounded relieved and finally cracked the hint of his signature grin as he caught Lily's eye, "Actually, that'd be brilliant! Thanks, Evans."

"Sure," Lily smiled back up at him, "I thought it might also be encouraging for the younger students."

James frowned, "To see me play?"

"To see you fail," Lily couldn't help but grin from ear to ear when James' facial features formed into a mock-shocked expression and his right hand moved to hold his heart.

"I will have you know, Evans, that my knowledge of the muggle world goes far beyond the ordinary wizard's. Tellyphones, Clarence House, football- you name it! Did you think I took N.E.W.T level Muggle Studies for Quirrel's slapstick comedy routine? Let me assure you, after he drops the radio four times over, it gets old rather quick."

"Yes, but do you know if you should apply Tides or Fairy when you spill something on your robes?" Lily gleefully teased the tall Quidditch player.

"What?" James examined her to see if she was asking a trick question, "What good would fairies do if I've got a cleaning charm?"

"Exactly," Lily smiled as they turned a corner and strolled back down the fifth floor corridor, "But not to worry, I've prepared wizarding world questions as well. It's all about uniting the student body, isn't it?"

"Good thinking, Lils," James nodded as he opened the door to the Prefect's Lounge for her and Lily had to smile at the use of her nickname. Suddenly James' tone changed and he casually inquired, "So, did you have fun last night?"

"Um," Lily's heart sunk; she was so tired of playing games, "Actually, I left fairly early."

"Oh yeah?" James replied nonchalantly.

"Yeah," Lily said softly and walked back over to the large wooden table to sort through the papers they had left sitting on the desk earlier.

"Yes, well, it wasn't my sort of party, I can tell you that," James said aloofly as he vanished a few of the scrap parchments with his wand.

Lily stared at the Sunday's column of the patrol schedule in her hand, _Lily and James, Lily and James, Lily and James_ , and breathed in sharply, "I left after you did."

"Huh?" James looked up from his wand, searching her uncertain face, not quite understanding.

"It was just... you were so angry with me, the whole evening," she tried to explain, fidgeting to place the schedule in its binder, "that horrible carriage ride-"

"I know," James interrupted her, frowning, "I'm sorry about the way I acted, alright? But you weren't quite your charming self either, if we're being honest here."

"Yes, I know," Lily sighed, remembering how she had taunted him in front of Krum, "That's why I wanted to talk to you."

"Yeah, it's good that we're talking," James nodded, leaning back onto the large wooden table.

Lily snapped the hinges of the binder shut. "Last night."

"Last night?" James crossed his arms in front of his chest and gave her a questioning look.

"I left the party," Lily tried to explain. She wished that he could just read her mind, but James' expression read as quite confused and she was forced to continue, "I followed you up to the castle."

"You-," Suddenly something changed behind James' eyes. He seemed to catch on, as he unfolded his arms to push his glasses up his nose and stood up from the table. Lily bit her lip as he moved towards her. Then, the door to the Prefect's Staff Room swung open.

"Hey James! Ready?" the leggy Quidditch player lost her jubilant smile when she realized that she might have just walked into something intimate.

"Alexa?" James' confused gaze shifted from Lily towards his girlfriend that stood in the door, "What are you doing here?"

"Uh, picking you up from rounds?" Alexa raised her eyebrows as she examined her reacquired boyfriend and crossed her arms in front of her chest, "I thought we could spend time together in your dormitory for a bit." Lily's heart sank further and she felt like crying all over again.

"Wait outside," James suddenly ordered in a brisk tone, shifting his focus back on Lily.

"Excuse me?" Alexa demanded, her mouth agape.

"Sorry, Lex," James edited himself after he too noticed that he had just snapped at her, "Could you wait outside for a moment please? I need to finish up with Evans here."

"Oh sure, finish up with her," Alexa huffed and shut the door forcefully, so that the glass in the frame clanged.

James, apparently unfazed, turned back to Lily, who was avoided the pull of his hazel eyes.

"Alright Evans, rewind. You left sodding Slughorn's party at what time now?" James gripped both of Lily's shoulders tightly.

"Nine," Lily whispered, shaking under his touch.

"Nine," James repeated as if he was growing nauseous, shaking her a little in his grip.

"That's what I said, Potter," Lily replied coolly, catching herself and shoving his hands off of her.

But James didn't let it go, "And what exactly did you follow me for?"

"I-," Lily nervously stuttered, "well, I-" she couldn't tell him now. It was too late. Even last night, she was too late.

"WHAT, Evans!?" James rounded on her, angry with her silence.

"Don't yell at me!" Lily yelped back at him, "I- I spoke to Sirius and I just, I just-"

"You WHAT," James seemed livid and Lily didn't know what to make of his outrage. She racked her brain for a simple explanation.

"I didn't want to fight with you anymore," she finally stated limply.

"When exactly did you get in?!" James forced on greedily, making Lily feel unsure of herself.

"I-," Lily hesitated; she didn't want to give in to him, "I don't remember, alright!? It doesn't matter."

James eyes grew livid, "Oh, it matters."

"NO, James! It doesn't!" green sparks were shooting out of Lily's wand as James drew closer to her.

The door opened again.

"Hello," Sirius casually stood in the frame, looking back and forth between the two head students.

"I'll be out in a minute, Padfoot," a distracted James hastily informed him.

"Uh," Sirius frowned bemusedly at James' words, "I don't really give a shit, Prongs."

"What?" James blinked, and for a moment the head boy was whipped out of his trance. Lily saw James' face fall as he slowly seemed to recall that his best friend was not waiting at the door for his benefit, "Oh- yeah, right."

Sirius shook his head a little and focused his attention on Lily, "Evans, you about ready to leave?"

"Yes, Sirius," the head girl huffed, standing up tall, "I am _so_ ready to leave."


	22. Muggle Monday

"Alright everyone, settle down!" Lily shouted hoarsely as she clapped her hands together. The animated buzzing that had filled the hall since seven sharp quieted down abruptly. Lily smirked at the air of authority she had somewhat mastered in her years as a respected Hogwarts prefect. She tucked the few loose strands of her long auburn hair behind her ear and felt confident in her old bright yellow dress that she had picked to wear to this occasion. Today was the day of the first Muggle Monday of the year and she was hosting it, as head girl of Hogwarts no less, and Lily was beyond thrilled about it.

" _Sonorus._ First of all," her voice boomed and carried through the Great Hall while the crowd of students looked up at her expectantly, "I want to thank you all for showing up. We're ecstatic about how many of you decided to join in! If this isn't a sign of a united student body against the doctrine of the Dark Army, I don't know what is. Secondly, this evening was made possible by Professor Dumbledore's generosity, so let's make an effort to abide by his guidelines. He approved that muggle clothing may be worn on Muggle Mondays from seven to nine pm, but asks for us to wear our school uniforms at all other occasions, may it be Monday's during class or to dinner before the event. Also, it is not at all mandatory to dress in muggle fashion to participate in our soirée. Please don't oust anyone for sticking to their dress robes! However, you're free and encouraged to offer any fellow students to borrow your muggle things if you'd like to, as much as they are free to respectfully take or decline your offer."

Lily caught sight of the dashing James Potter ascending the few steps up to the podium to join her, and her authoritative cool was momentarily shaken as her heart was dangerously close to leaping out of her chest. The head boy was donning a crisp white t-shirt, black jeans and converse shoes, and it all just suited his annoyingly cute mop of hair infuriatingly perfectly. _What was it that she was going to say next, again? Must not drool, must not drool._

"Oi Evans," James spoke up after he had planted himself right next to her in front of the sea of enthusiastically listening students, "we'll all promise to be obedient, rule-abiding students for a change tonight, alright? Now get into the rules of the game already!" His hazel eyes gleamed with excitement and Lily impulsively had to grin up at him.

Earlier today, the two head students had somewhat mutely decided to move past all the awful back and forths that had transpired in the past week, and instead opted to go back to what they had originally been steering towards before all the drama went down. Which was... Colleagues? Perhaps friends? Or something similar to that intent, Lily supposed.

They had both come to this unspoken conclusion after Lily had accidentally spilled an entire goblet of pumpkin juice down the front of James' pristine school uniform at lunch time earlier today. James was heading over from the Ravenclaw table with the intentions to ask Lily about last minute arrangements for the planned evening. The usually quite put together (cough) head girl had been so thrown by his sudden appearance at her side, that in response she had opted to wildly throw the filled cup she was clasping into the air and unto his shirt. For a split-second, both head girl and boy had been frozen in a shock of awkwardness. Then out of nowhere, Lily burst out into loud hiccupping giggles at the sight of the drenched pumpkin-coloured James, and the dripping head boy sheepishly grinned from ear to ear at the beautiful sound of her familiar, unconstrained laughter. Since then, things had been... alright, Lily supposed. Then again, it had only been a few hours of smooth sailing. Here's hoping.

"I would get to that a lot sooner without further interruptions, Potter," Lily teased back and relished in the familiar sight of James openly staring at her legs. Ah yes, they would be the greatest of friends! She had to admit that it helped their peaceful cooperation loads that the Ravenclaw Quidditch team had magically set their weekly practice for Monday nights.

"So, as some of you might have guessed from the setup, and some may have picked up from the ravishingly infamous Hogwarts rumour mill," she threw a mock-disapproving look down at Remus and then Sirius, who winked back at her mischievously, "tonight, we are playing HOGWORDS!"

A select number of students cheered and hooted loudly, while the rest immersed in excited murmurs amongst themselves.

"Whoppingly clever title there, Evans," James commented dryly to the delight of the laughing fellow students.

"Ignoring you startiiing- now!" Lily responded cheerfully, and the crowd giggled again. Great, they could start selling tickets for their very own comedy show any day now.

"Alright, settle down now people! So you've all put your names into this lovely hat when you came in. I'm going to pick two names from the hat now, and the ones that I call up will be today's team captains! Potter, if you could give the hat a good shake, yes thank you... and I'm drawing the first name... exciting... exciting... and I'm trying to read what this says... and... it's... ELISE!"

Polite clapping emitted from the mass of students as the nervously trembling Elise stepped forward to take her place in between Lily and James, hugging herself as if she was holding on to dear life.

"Excellent!" Lily continued after she gave Elise one of her signature encouraging smiles, which she usually saved for first-years that had taken an involuntary plunge into the Black Lake, "Elise will be the captain of Team Hogs! I'm going to pick a second name now- James, pay attention, the hat!- and the other team captain iiiiis... GREGORY! Gregory is the team captain for Team Warts. Get up here, Greg!"

Gregory Crawley gleefully ran up the few steps to squeeze in right in between Elise and Lily.

"Seriously Evans, you couldn't think of better names than spin-offs of the school emblem?"

"Great," Lily said cheerfully, fully ignoring the bantering head boy, and she stepped to the side a little to avoid Gregory's awkward closeness, "Next, the team captains will be allowed to choose teammates. Elise and Greg will alternate in choosing students. Remember, it's smart to choose people from both muggle and wizard descents for your team, as the words and terms I've prepared for the game are from both worlds. Okay! Greg? Do you want to go first and pick someone?"

"Absolutely, Lils!" Gregory's chest raised with pride at the task before him.

"Don't call her that," James suddenly interrupted him.

"What? Um- as my first teammate, I would like to pick the incredible Lily Evans!" Gregory declared breathlessly.

"You can't pick her, dimwit, she came up with all the terms!" Marlene called out and the crowd of students snickered loudly.

"Oh... Are you sure I can't pick you? I don't want anyone else," Gregory muttered.

"Erm, no," Lily retorted briskly, intently writing down notes on her wooden clipboard. James looked over her shoulder and snorted loudly as he discovered that she was frantically writing down nothing at all.

Gregory cast a disappointed look around the hall, "Alright then... I pick Kendrick."

The tall, built Hufflepuff walked up to Gregory in a few large steps as the lot of Hogwart's present female students' eyes followed him hungrily, including a very intense stare from Dorcas.

"Great! Now Elise, you go," Lily encouragingly smiled at the short girl once more.

"Um," Elise started, and continued to mouth something inaudibly.

"What did you say, darling?" Lily asked, squinting her eyes a little in an attempt to read Elise' lips.

"I think she just chose me to be on her team," James guessed loudly as he stepped next to the girl and sing-songed, "We're going to crush you, Gregsy," at the quivering fifth year boy who stood on the other side of Lily. Kendrick Johnson laughed heartily, which didn't add to Gregory's courage.

"Is that right, Elise?" Lily asked the overtly shy Ravenclaw, who ever so slightly nodded her head. "Alright then, Potter is on Team Hogs! Gregory you go again," Lily announced cheerfully, and she took note of who was called out for which team in order to avoid mates switching to the same team after the sorting was done. Finally, after the last Hufflepuff second-year gloomily trotted up to join Team Hogs, all the students made to stand in two long lines from the front to the end of the Great Hall.

At the end of the Hall, James magically transformed one of the long benches into two square wooden desks and four chairs that now stood to either side of each table, under the appraising murmurs of the crowd. On one side of each of the tables, Lily had placed a neat tall stack of parchment cards. In the middle, a small golden bell hovered over each desk.

"Alright, so we're all set up," Lily announced cheerfully to the intently watching crowd as James magically transformed Preena Patil's cat into a large, hairy sandglass, "The rules are as follows- two members per team will be called up. One person will be the Describer and the other will be the Interpreter. You may not use the word on your parchment, nor an adaptation of that word, in your description. You may not tell your partner, if he or she is 'close' to guessing the word. Only the bell will decide, if your teammate gave the correct answer. Other members of your team must remain silent and may not interfere with the players, but are allowed to cheer after time is up. The goal is to guess as many terms- both from the muggle and wizarding world- as possible within one minute's time. You may not skip a card. You must try to explain it to the best of your ability, even if you don't know exactly what it means. Try to explain around it. If your partner answers correctly, the bell will sound and I will mark your score on this board here, awarding one point per correctly guessed word for your team. The game is over after twenty rounds, which works out nicely since we have forty participants per team. Any questions so far? Don't worry too much about it, it will come to you once you sit down and play. Alright, the first two- I mean, four- contestants please take your seats! If someone is quite sure they know how to play, then please step forward first, so that the others can watch and learn."

"Better not mess with the scoreboard, Evans," James murmured in her ear as he made to step from the podium.

"And why would I do that, Potter?" Lily retorted, holding the clipboard tight to her chest to cover her fluttering heart.

"So the other team has a fighting chance," James replied and childishly laughed at her rolling eyes. Lily couldn't help but grin a little as she watched him saunter off to the far end of his team's queue. Students were now shoving each other towards the front of the line in order to avoid going first.

Lily sighed and spoke up again, "Alright, I'm going to make this easier for you then. Elise and Remus, you're up first for your team. Gregory and... Dorcas, why don't you start the Warts Team off?"

Dorcas threw Lily a disapproving look and Lily stuck her tongue out back at her. The blonde Gryfindor had made it clear at dinner that Lily had the main task to shack her up with anyone from the Hufflepuff Quidditch team if possible, which Gregory was most definitely not.

"Dorcas and Remus, you will both take the role of Describer, Greg and Elise will try to interpret as many correct terms from their explanations as possible within one minute. Take a seat now- Dorcas, Remus, do you have the playing cards in front you? No peaking, Dori! Good. Time- starts- NOW!" Lily turned the large sandglass upside down with a flick of her wand, and the golden grains slipped through and landed in a pile on the bottom rapidly.

"Alright this is an animal," Dorcas nervously began after quickly scanning her first card.

"It's a subject at school," Remus simultaneously launched after setting his card neatly aside.

Gregory and Elise both wore frantic expressions.

"It lives in the desert," Dorcas quickly continued after Gregory didn't even attempt guessing what she could mean.

"Let's see, it has to do with how things in the muggle world work," Remus scratched his head as he tried to grasp for words to explain his designated term.

"It has yellowish fur!" Dorcas simultaneously urged on, but Gregory only looked at her with a blank expression.

"Muggle Studies?" Elise whispered barely audible to anyone beyond the reach of her desk.

"It's also got a mane and a tail," Dorcas described, ripping her playing card to shreds in frustration as Gregory remained stoically mute.

"No no," Remus now waved his hands frantically, "Not in the wizarding world! It's a subject at a muggle school!"

"Sphinx?" Gregory finally suggested, sounding hopeful.

"Ohh, okay!" Elise spoke up brightly, furrowing her eyebrows as she was thinking on her toes.

"A sphinx is a magical creature, not an animal, you pure-blooded blockhead!" Dorcas viciously hissed at her game partner, and Gregory pulled his head back in towards his shoulders like a tortoise.

"Now now, this is about healthy competition and cooperation kids," Lily sang cheerfully at the frustrated pair in front of her, and the crowd giggled and started whispering their own guesses in each other's ears.

"Math?" Elise tried nervously.

"Close!" Remus excitedly slapped a hand on the wooden table and the bell in front of him flew up and swiftly dingdonged him in the head.

"No leading the Interpreter, Remus!" Lily called joyfully at Team Hogs.

"Ah right, sorry! So math is with numbers right, like this subject is too... but it's got more to do with how things actually work, like with gravity and force and stuff," Remus hastily continued as the tiny golden bell receded back to its original spot, hovering over the centre of the table.

"THINK you moron!" Dorcas meanwhile hollered at the limply cowering Gregory, "It's got a tail, a mane, four legs, it lives in the desert, it roars-"

"Physics!" Elise called out and the tiny bell in front of her rang loudly.

"TIME!" Lily shouted as the final grains slipped towards the bottom of the sandglass, "One point for Team Hogs!"

The whole team cheered loudly and Elise looked beyond thrilled at her victory, while Team Warts fumed alongside Dorcas.

"It was a lion you dimwit, a LION!" Dorcas screeched at the short boy in front of her.

"Ohhhh," Gregory sighed, "Why didn't you just say 'Gryffindor'?"

"I- you- UGH!" was all that Dorcas managed to let out without exploding, and she promptly stood up from her seat and marched to stand next to Lily.

"Alright, next two- I mean four!- people, come on up!" Lily announced, and now people were shoving and fighting to get to the supplied chairs first. Lily grinned widely and caught James eye as he gave her two thumbs up.

* * *

"Evans, it's close to nine," James informed the head girl after what felt like mere minutes had passed. It was undeniable- they were all having a blast. Students were excited and breathless as they tried to elaborate on words that they had never heard before in their lives, while the audience laughed and cheered and fumed enthrallingly at their teammates' successes and losses. Lily only ever saw the Hogwarts student body this captivated at the epic Quidditch matches the school held.

"What!? Already?" the head girl gasped disbelievingly.

"Yeah," James scanned his quirky wristwatch a second time, "It's eight fifty-three."

"Oh," Lily sighed disappointedly, "how many contestants do we have left?"

"Let's see, after this one...," James narrowed his eyes behind his spectacles and scanned the room, "we've got Giulia Cattermole and- Gwinerva have you gone yet?- so Giulia and Gwin for the Warts Team, and for the Hogs we've got... well, I haven't gone, to be honest."

"Oh right, you haven't," Lily scanned her sheet, "wow, everyone else has gone! We've really made good time here. According to my notes, there should be exactly four people left to play the final round. So Giulia, Gwin, James and- hm... Oh! Sirius, you haven't gone yet!"

Sirius, who was sitting on the Gryffindor table talking with Marlene and a few other Gryffindors, turned his head to where Lily had said his name, "What's going on, pumpkin?"

"I was just saying that you haven't had a turn yet," Lily repeated to him.

"Oh yeah, no, I haven't played," Sirius responded disinterested.

"Well, now's your chance!" Lily exclaimed cheerfully.

Sirius squinted his eyes at her suspiciously, "Okay... who's my partner?"

"Potter," Lily retorted lightly and quickly turned back to the scoring board to avoid Sirius' wrath, "Wow, look at that people! It's a tie! The next and final round will decide which of the two glorious teams we've brought forth today will bring this victory home! I bring to you, the round that decides all our fates- Giulia and Gwin versus Sirius and James- HOGS VERSUS WARTS! Well, Warts versus Hogs technically, but it just sounded better, didn't it?"

The crowd cheered and stomped their feet on the benches and floors that they had spread out across as the final four contestants- the girls grinninf at each other nervously while the boys gloomily avoided eye contact- walked to their designated chairs.

As Lily watched the two tall, stubborn boys sit down opposite of one another, Sirius' grim, yet wild expression drew her thoughts back to the memory of their conversation last night.

* * *

The castle had been hauntingly dark as Sirius and Lily swiftly walked down a few corridors in silence to evade Alexa Johnson and the fuming James, whom they had gladly left behind. Every inch of her body had been filled with white hot fury as she relived James' uncalled for questioning in her mind.

"So you're patching things up with Prongs then?" Sirius cheerfully broke the silence and Lily suddenly had to laugh at the excruciating absurdity of her constant end-of-the-world fighting with James, who after all still was the boy she wanted above everything else. Well, except for peace in the wizarding world, perhaps. She really wanted that to happen as well. Preferably, this would come to pass simultaneously as James and she launched into a passionate, earth-shattering snog fest. While fireworks went off in the background. Yup.

"Yeah, I think we'll be talking wedding invitations any day now," Lily responded dryly and Sirius gave his signature bark of approval, "Talking about fighting with Potter, what's up with your little spat? No reconciliation in sight?"

"Doubt it," Sirius grunted, shoving his hands into his robe pockets.

"Come on, Sirius, tell me what happened," Lily keenly urged him on. The two Gryffindors came to halt in front of the fruit still-life that served as entrance towards the kitchens, but neither of them moved to tickle the pear step inside.

"You know what happened," the grey-eyed boy erratically deflected, running a rough hand through his long hair.

Lily sighed hopelessly and leaned against the cold brick wall that framed the portrait of the fruit bowl, "The entire school, including James mind you, believes that you're pissed at him for making head boy."

"Yeah?" Sirius asked, as if he hadn't heard it a dozen times before, "Then I expect the entire school, including our precious head boy, are right then, aren't they?"

"Oh come on, that's crap and you know it," Lily smiled at the irked boy in front of her.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Evans," Sirius retorted, crossing his arms in front of his chest and furrowing his eyebrows at the shorter head girl.

"So you're telling me that you're so furious with your best friend of over six years for being made head boy, something that he didn't ask for or promote in any way, that you won't even speak to him anymore?"

"That sounds about right," he nodded without looking her in the eye.

"Sirius!" Lily exclaimed, a little hurt by his unwillingness to confide in her.

"What do you want me to say, Evans? It all sounds about right to me," Sirius' wild grey eyes now bore into her in challenge, but Lily didn't look away like most girls did under his gaze. He would have to come up with something a little more intimidating than stare to impress her out of a good argument.

"You honestly want me to believe that you can't be friends with him because he has to go on a few patrols every now and then? That you only ever spent time with him to pull off those stupid childish pranks of yours?"

"Yup," Sirius nodded showily, smacking his lips at the p-sound.

"That's so strange," Lily mused, "because James told me that you were his brother, like his parents are his mother and father."

Sirius wild eyes suddenly burned with fire as his hands turned to fists, and Lily knew she had him.

"Oh he said that, did he the little traitor? Calls us brothers, when he can't even confide in me when he gets that _sodding_ head boy badge because he thinks so low of me. I told him _everything_ , Evans! About my parents, about Reg, came to _him_ when they abused me. Not Moony, not Wormtail! _Him_. And then he shuts me out when something so fucking _trivial_ happens. Like I'd cry over the lost times of hexing Slytherin twats. Like I'd lose my shit about him following school rules for a bit. I'd probably just've thought he'd use the opportunity to get on your good side! I know he didn't tell Dumbledore to pick him for the job- he's just got a natural talent to lead people, I bloody well know that, alright? But he didn't even give me a chance, did he?! He just _assumes_ that I can't be trusted, that I'm too much of a fucking asshole to truly care about anyone else but myself and sodding pranking people. Fuck _him_ , Evans!"

With his last words, Sirius raised his right fist and hit the brick wall behind Lily. He yelped out in pain instantly as his bones collided with the concrete.

"So there was something else then," Lily commented brightly as Sirius rubbed his bruised fist with his left hand.

"Oh you-," Sirius sputtered, but Lily just laughed and turned to tickle the bright yellow pear to reveal the entrance to the kitches. They spent the rest of the evening eating strawberry tarts and bitching about things that they passionately loathed and helplessly loved about James Potter.

* * *

"So you know the rules, it's currently 56 points for both teams, winning pair decides the victory, Giulia and James are up as Describers, aaaand- GO!"

Lily flicked her wand and the furry sandglass tipped over.

Giulia Cattermole flipped her first card over and read through it. James sat motionlessly in his chair and stared back at the glaring Sirius.

"Okay, so this is an object in the shape of an animal that you use in the bath tub," Giulia started explaining to an eagerly listening Gwinerva, and Team Warts cheered them on with glee even though they perfectly well knew they weren't allowed to make any noise.

Meanwhile, Team Hogs gaped at their two mute contestants in horror. Lily didn't understand. Were they just going to sit there for the whole minute? Her plan to reunite these two wasn't going well.

Finally, and to everyone's delight, a stubborn-looking James spoke up.

"You ready?"

An even more stubborn-looking Sirius remained silent for a few beats and then-

"If you are."

Gasps erupted all around the hall as James slowly turned the first card over.

James looked at the inscribed word before lazily saying, "Nine and three."

"Pounds," Sirius responded with a distinct air of boredom, while intently examining the bell that hovered in front of his face.

 _Ring_

"It's a point for the Hogs!" Lily called out and drew a mark on her scoreboard. The entire Team Hogs now erupted in nervous murmurs.

James flipped the next card over and simply said, "Biscuits."

"Quaffle," Sirius answered, the corners of his mouth twitching ever so slightly as the tiny hovering bell rang again loudly.

James flipped the next card over, faster now, "Airport."

Sirius squinted eyes, "Watergate."

 _Ring_

James smirked and read the next piece of paper, "Dirty wands."

"The Sex Pistols," Sirius responded loudly, now drumming his fingers on the desk in what Lily guessed to be excitement.

 _Ring_

"McKinnon," James wriggled his eyebrows.

Sirius shook his head ever so slightly to hide his smirk, "Astronomy Tower."

 _Ring_

James giddily picked up the next card, "Trash."

Sirius barked and responded, "Cleansweep 72."

 _Ring_

Lily caught herself full-on gaping at the pair before she shut her mouth and scanned the crowd for Marlene, whose face had interestingly enough gone beat red.

James continued, "Moony."

Sirius took a second to intently read James' expression and Lily noticed that Remus was fidgeting nervously beside her. Then Sirius spoke, "The Godfather."

The bell remained still.

Sirius anxiously drew air and added, "Part two."

 _Ring._

James read the next card and grinned, "Meow."

"Minerva McGonagall."

 _Ring_

The head boy took another card and announced "June 73."

Sirius immediately responded in a croak, "Firewhiskey."

 _Ring_

James flipped over the next card and snickered, "July 73."

Sirius barked and answered, "Whiskey."

 _Ring_

"Slug food," James urged on after he read the next piece of parchment.

"Uh... Chocolate Frogs?" Sirius asked.

 _Ring_

Giulia and Gwin had given up even playing. The entire Great Hall was ogling the two Gryffindor boys. James and Sirius, however, didn't seem to notice and kept their usual cool.

James suggested, "Regulus."

Sirius responded, "Queen Margeret."

 _Ring_

"Love is all you-"

"Help!"

 _Ring_

"First floor, number one and two."

"Moaning Myrtle."

 _Ring_

"Slandslide babe."

"Stevie Nicks."

 _Ring_

"Evans."

"Snitch."

 _Ring_

"TIME!" Lily called out, as the final grain hit the bottom of the sandglass, "Times up. And it seems like we have a very clear winner! Congratulations to TEAM HOGS, with an whopping SIXTEEN POINTS ahead of the second place!"

The entire crowd cheered victoriously, even those that were part of the losing team. They were all exhausted from screaming and cheering, but also surprisingly gleeful as the large group chattered away excitedly and slowly emptied out of the Great Hall in their colourful muggle garb.

Lily watched as James and Sirius both grinned as they stood up from their respective seats, but somehow neither of them could manage to say anything further to the other. Finally, Sirius shrugged and walked off towards the exit while James looked after him longingly. Lily sighed at their stupidity. She packed up her things as James started transforming the altered furniture back into its original state. When Preena finally walked out holding her beloved cat back in her arms, the rest Great Hall had already emptied out.

"Are we heading back up to the chambers together?" James casually asked after he made a final sweeping move with his wand to blow out the sea of hovering candles.

"Yeah, okay," Lily nodded, looking around if she had missed anything. After she was sure that everything was in a state that even McGonagall would approve of, she fell into step with James to exit the Hall.

Just as they stepped through the great entrance way, Lily noticed a figure lurking in the shadows.

"Severus?" she asked into the darkness, illuminating her wand so that she could see further.

James followed her lead and lit his want, and the hatred that flickered in his eyes told Lily that she had seen right.

"What are you doing here, Snape?" James snarled at the Slytherin, "It's past curfew. Go to your dorm."

"As touched as I am that you would care so dearly for my safety," the Severus snarled back at the head boy, "don't forget that I'm a prefect as well, Potter."

"I've got to say, Sev, you're a pretty bad one, to be honest," Lily spoke up dryly; "You haven't been to a single meeting or even attended a patrol."

"That's what I came to talk to you about, Lily," Severus murmured softly.

"Brilliant," a fuming James crossed his arms in front of his chest, "then let's all have a heart to heart, shall we Snivelly?"

"Alone," Severus sneered and bore into Lily with his eyes. The head girl bit her lip.

"No way that's happening," James commented matter-of-factly.

"Is he your guardian now, or what?" Severus spat, never breaking eye-contact with Lily.

"Go, James," Lily told the tense boy standing next to her softly.

"What!?" James spat and Severus' lips coiled into an smug smile.

"I'll see you in our dormitory," Lily responded calmly. James fumed, but didn't move.

"If you're not back in twenty minutes, I'm coming to get you," James grasped her arm to underline his point.

"Scared that a woman will lose interest when you're not excruciatingly present at all times, Potter?" Severus snickered and Lily rolled her eyes at his lame attempts to feed off of James' insecurities.

"I'll see you soon, James," Lily murmured to the stiff head boy, and he loosened his grip from her arm.

She stepped towards her former best friend as James slowly went up the stairs whilst looking over his shoulder several times.

"What do you want, Sev?" Lily asked meekly.


	23. Collide

**A/N: By popular demand, a lengthier chapter.**

* * *

"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" Lily hollered across the room, her wand-hand quivering in anticipation. The beloved willow wand, however, did not share her enthusiasm. Instead of an elegant, silvery figure, it protruded milky vapour at the sound of a deflating balloon.

"Who knew that Evan's spirit animal is a fairy's fart!?" Black cackled to the head girl's annoyance, as his wand led a huge silvery dog around the Transfiguration classroom with aggravating ease. Lily's direct and mature response was limited to a bouquet red warning shots aimed in the shaggy-haired boy's direction.

Suddenly, the presence of a gracious silvery stag at her side made her jump in surprise.

"Still no luck, Evans?" James noted with a troubled expression. Lily, however, could clearly make out the hint of satisfaction behind his act of innocent. _The arse._

"I very much doubt it has anything to do with _luck_ , Potter," Lily spat and threw her messy auburn ponytail over her shoulder.

"So what you're saying is, that you can't produce a corporeal patronus solely due to your blatant lack of competency?" the head boy innocently inquired, apparently having quite some trouble hiding his signature lop-sided grin.

"I- Gah! No, it's- just shut up, Potter! I can't concentrate when you're distracting me, alright?" Lily quickly turned away from the Potter's infuriatingly smug face.

"I completely understand," James, ignoring her request, continued and nodded contemplatively, "Remus is always always on about how I'm distracting him, too. Must be my blinding good looks, eh?"

"Or it has something to do with you using your wand to burn holes into my homework," Remus suggested, miserably trying to suppress a yawn.

"Or that," James scratched his chin before winking at Lily, who in response rolled her eyes.

"Think of something that fills you up from head to toe with happiness, Evans. Admittedly, for most people that's my face. But rack your brain! Don't just use the memory of a decent mark or some other nonsense you'd probably mistake for pure bliss."

Lily bit her lip at his remark. How had he known she was visualising the letter with last year's final exam results and the head girl badge? _These things are my bread and butter, alright?_

"Well, what the hell do you think of then, Potter?" she snapped at him, evading his comment.

"Flying, of course," James responded with ease, looking her straight in the eye.

Lily momentarily felt herself melt in the pool that was his golden hazel gaze, but pulled herself together again quickly. Alexa Johnson and her gang of friends had been eyeing them ever since James had walked over.

Another girl's boyfriend couldn't be the subject of her happiness, Lily decided. She instead racked her brain for something else. Taking Potter's advice, she imagined herself swimming in the Black Lake on a crisp spring morning, and she raised her wand once again.

" _Expecto patronum!"_

A thin wisp of silvery smoke shot out of the tip of her wand. The product was definitely more opaque than the result of her last attempt.

"There you go, Evans!" James patted her on the back comradely, "Much better already!"

"Thanks," Lily huffed back, still unhappy with the silver vapour that now surrounded her like a light blanket. She had to admit that James' advice had been fruitful. It helped a ton visualising an actual memory that engaged her body and mind completely. She would just have to think of a stronger one. But when had anything really captured her head and heart the way the spell asked of her? A quite specific memory of snowy Great Hall came to mind, but she shoved it away into a back pocket of her brain just as quickly as it came.

Four weeks had passed since the term had begun, and the Order of the Phoenix (the opulent name for their extracurricular activity had of course been James' idea) was having their third session. As Lily looked around the crowded room of Hogwarts students, she thought that one could say that their nutty idea had been a success. They had decided to focus their practice on one vital spell per session. During their first training, they had covered the practical _Expelliarmus_ spell, and last week they had added a Shield Charm.

Today, however, Lily had asked James to give a lesson on the complex Patronus Charm, that she had seen him master during sixth year. She had never managed to produce a corporeal one herself and she had a feeling that it would make an appearance on either their written or practical N.E.W.T exams at the end of the year. Of course she had mastered the theory behind the spell, but she figured practicing it would likely become quite useful in the nearer future, against Voldemort and co. It was after all the reason they were hosting these classes in the first place, and rumours were going around that the Dark Lord had become chummy with Azkaban's dementors and wild werewolves as of recent. No wonder Remus looked sicklier with each day. Or was full moon coming up? Lily couldn't quite remember her lunar calendar at the moment.

"Jamie, how about you help _me_ for a change?" Alexa Johnson huffed from a few yards away, where she was standing amid her usual Ravenclaw girls squad. The head boy gave Lily one last wink and sauntered over to the Ravenclaw group while Lily was left to practice the challenging spell with her good friend Remus.

"I don't know why this is so difficult," Lily sighed as she gave her wand a disapproving glare.

"You mean the spell?" Remus inquired innocently, twirling his own wand in his hands.

"Of course, what else would I be talking about?" Lily snapped back a little too fiery as Remus' gaze wandered over to James, who was giving Alexa quite intimate Patronus pointers.

"Hey, at least you don't have a furry little problem on your hands," Remus sighed and gave her a limp smile.

"Oh, I'm sorry Remus," Lily said apologetically at her own ignorance, "You haven't had one this year, huh?"

"Nope. Tonight," the sandy-haired boy answered and shuddered at the thought of it.

"Is there anything I can do?" Lily asked sympathetically, gently patting the prefect's arm.

"Nah," Remus sighed painfully and added, "Actually, if you could get James and Sirius back on speaking terms, that would be brilliant."

"How exactly would a Marauder reunion help your agony again?" the head girl inquired.

"Oh, " Remus averted his gaze, "Nothing. It just keeps my mind more at ease knowing they're- you know, back to normal."

"Ah," she nodded understandingly, but not getting the half of it.

* * *

An hour into Sunday later and Lily still hadn't managed to produce anything more than her silver vapour. But she wasn't alone in her misery; more than half of the class was struggling, and quite a few students hadn't even managed to produce so much as a silver spark from their wand's end.

"Listen up everyone!" James called through the Transfiguration classroom and the bulk of the students turned to him as they fell silent, "By popular demand - or lack of success if you will - we will continue with this spell next week. I truly believe that it's important to get this one right, judging from recent news. Probably all of us have never even been in contact with a dementor, but from what my dad's told me, if you think it's difficult to produce a patronus within the snug walls of Hogwarts, just think about what it's like when you're fighting for your life while your soul is torturously getting sucked out of you."

The surrounding students exchanged glances of terror.

"And on that cheerful note," Lily took over, "Enjoy the rest of your weekend!"

The babbling group of students slowly filed out of the classroom towards the Great Hall for lunch.

"Did you see my patronus?" Dorcas squealed after she had bid Kendrick Jordan, her practice partner, goodbye and made to join Lily and Marlene at the Gryffindor table, "a butterfly! Kendrick's is a dolphin. Isn't that just precious!?"

"Are we saying 'precious' now? Is that a thing?" Marlene growled as she wolfed down a gigantic serving of mashed and gravy.

"Nope, I don't believe 'precious' is in our vocabulary," Lily grunted back, nibbling on a carrot herself.

"Oh, come on you two negative nifflers! You cannot possibly deny that neither Kendrick nor a _dolphin patronus_ are anything short of dreamy," Dorcas cooed, quickly glanced over to the Hufflepuff table, and her cheeks instantly turned pink.

"Will you still think he's dreamy when you'll have to _reparo_ his brains back into one piece after we destroy him at our match against Hufflepuff?" Marlene asked innocently and took a long gulp from her goblet of pumpkin juice.

"Oh please, you're playing _Ravenclaw_ next Saturday," Dorcas insisted, "Is it really necessary to trash-talk teams that you're not even playing?"

"Yes," Marlene nodded and burped loudly.

"Lovely," Remus commented as he slid into the seat next to Lily, and Marlene grinned apologetically, "what are we talking about?"

"Quidditch," Lily and Dorcas responded in matching annoyance.

"Ah," Remus rolled his eyes, "Riveting."

"You better not be talking about Quidditch in that passive tone, Mr. Moony," James joined in, plopping into the seat next to Remus.

"What else would we channel our deep-routed adolescent hatred towards?" Lily retorted in Remus' place, but quickly back-paddled when she saw Marlene's furious expression, "Just a joke! You guys are going to do great tomorrow! Go Gryffindor!"

At that, the entire Gryffindor table dropped its cutlery and started an immediate deafening chant of, "GO GRYFFINDOR, GO GRYFFINDOR, ROAR ROAR ROAR!"

"Whoa," the head girl mumbled as the table quivered under the stomping fandom.

"You've gotta be careful with housepride these days, Evans," James grinned, "Being impassive might get you savagely murdered."

"Brilliant," Lily sighed and shoved a spoonful of peas and potatoes into her mouth.

After a few serene gulps of pumpkin juice, Sirius and Peter sat down opposite of them, right next to Dorcas and Marlene.

"Hullo," James nervously directed at Sirius.

Sirius confused gaze flicked towards his formerly best friend and then back to the potatoes he was busy shovelling on his plate.

"Err- hey."

The girls' eyebrows rose to the sky in unison. Was Remus' wish finally coming true?

Remus cut through the silence that followed, "Sirius, Prongs wanted to ask you something."

"Huh?" Sirius' gaze was fixated on his golden plate.

Lily watched as Remus roughly shoved James' in the side. James' eyes rapidly darted from his plate to Sirius and finished with a pleading look back to Remus.

"About tonight," Remus urged on loudly, pinning James with his expectant stare. This had apparently gotten Sirius' attention, as his wild grey eyes looked up from his food to Remus and James.

The girls' exchanged a look of utter confusion.

"What about tonight?" Sirius asked coolly.

James, quite unlike his usual self, struggled with forming words.

" _You_ know."

Sirius barked viciously.

"I know what _I'm_ doing tonight. I know what Pete's got on log tonight. Hell, I'm pretty confident about old Moony's whereabouts!"

Remus glared back at Sirius. Lily couldn't make out James' expression as his face was hidden with a hand that was busy messing up his hair.

"Come on, Sirius," Remus pleaded quietly.

"Nope," Sirius responded simply.

"Fine," Remus sighed, "then no one goes. I'd rather be alone than this."

" _No_ ," James and Sirius growled in unison.

James continued, "Forget about it, Remus. They'll go. You're not doing this alone."

"What the hell is going on?" Marlene finally dared to speak up, her facial expression mirroring the confusion Lily felt within.

"This doesn't concern you," Peter responded and Marlene's jaw dropped a little at his blatant slyness. Lily had to grin. _Go Peter._

"I don't want to be caught in the middle of this," Remus groaned and buried his face in his hands, "I won't choose between you. This is bullshit."

"Look," James said, his tone and expression defeated, "I've got a game next Saturday. There's practice and a prefect's meeting tonight. It just makes sense that they go instead of me. For tonight, anyway."

"You hear that, Moony?, Sirius snarled nastily," Ickle Captain Potter is just so _bleeding_ busy with being a cunt, he can't even be there for his friend when he needs him."

Lily jumped a little in her seat when James threw his goblet of pumpkin juice straight at Sirius' skull. Sirius easily deflected the cup with a flick of his wand and barked in maniacal laughter as it crashed onto the floor in a loud clang. Its contents, however, still managed to spray all across the table and floor. Surrounding girls screeched as the liquid splashed them.

"OI!" Remus yelped and jumped up from the bench, "Both of you, cut it out!"

"Yeah, you don't want to knock off points from your own house, do you now, pisshead," Sirius chanted gleefully, reminding Lily of Hogwarts' in-house poltergeist Peeves. Suddenly, a saucer soared over Peter's head and went straight for Lily, but it was likey just lost on its way to James' forehead. With a swift movement of the head boy's wand, the saucer vanished into thin air shortly before it had the chance to collide with Lily's freckled nose. James fumed with rage as he clenched his fists and grabbed for Remus' goblet.

Thankfully, Marlene's Quidditch instincts kicked in and she snatched the cup away before the Quidditch Captain could get a hold of it. Lily caught on and quickly lunged forward to grasp her own cup as the head boy reached for the next object to throw, fire burning behind his eyes.

"OI, captain," Marlene yelled and James' eyes were still foggy, but focused on his raven-haired teammate, "I know you don't want to hear this right now, but we do have a game coming up! It's not going to do any one of you any good if you get yourself suspended from the game. Calm the fuck down, yeah?"

"She's right, James," Lily breathlessly spoke up. Something in James' eyes cleared when she said his name and he focused his gaze on her. McGonagall was already on her way down from the professors' table to see what the commotion at her house table was all about.

"Let's get to practice," Marlene quickly added when she spotted their Head of House swiftly approaching, jumping up from her seat.

McGonagall arrived at the Gryffindor table and her voice rose above Lily's head, sharp as a whistle, "What's going on here? Explain yourself, Potter."

The contents of the thrown cup were still splattered all over the floor behind Sirius. Black was calmly back in his seat, grinning widely from ear to dripping ear at the possibility of the head boy being served detention for this.

James mouth open and closed, finding no good excuse.

Lily quickly spoke up instead, "Just a little excitement about the game next Saturday, Professor McGonagall. Nothing to worry about! They were just trying out a new, err, Quidditch move."

McGonagall squinted at Lily, who smiled up at her innocently, and barked, "Potter, please resort to training on the pitch, not the Great Hall."

"Will do, Professor," James mumbled dutifully.

"Good," McGonagall added curtly, "I've gotten quite used to that trophy in my office. Just the appropriate decorum, I find."

"Go Gryffindor!" Dorcas added cheerfully, trying to further diffuse the situation.

The house table took her cue, "GRYFF-IN-DOR, UP WE SOAR, MAKE YOU CRY, THEN YOU DIE!"

"I feel like these chants used to be better," Lily muttered into her now lukewarm potatoes, "Less aggressive."

"Agreed," Dorcas nodded and she resumed to her meal as well.

The still distraught-looking James got up without so much as another word to either Remus or Sirius and followed Marlene out of the Great Hall.

* * *

After Lily and the rest of the Gryffindors had downed the remainder of their meals in solemn silence and sulkily sipped their pumpkin juices, Sirius finally spoke up again, "Do you guys want to go down to the pitch and watch the Gryffindor Quidditch practice?"

Lily nervously twisted her long aubern ponytail around her finger and glanced at Remus, who eyed Sirius with a disapproving look.

Sirius shoved the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows and when Remus didn't respond he uncertainly went on, "Don't look at me like that! I know I'm a screw-up, alright? He just makes me want to- I'm trying to be better here, Moony!"

After what felt like another decade of fortified silence, Remus broke his gaze upon Sirius and finally (and to the relief of his friends) muttered, "Fine, let's head to the pitch."

The group _woop_ -ed and scrambled to get up and out into the sunshine.

"Will you come, Lily?" Dorcas pleaded with her hesitant friend, "Oh, don't give me that 'we have to study' look! It's beautiful outside and we need fresh air for all those critical muggle health reasons, right?"

Lily stalled to answer and visualised the massive pile of essays that graced her desk, begging to be finished by Monday morning, and then turned to gaze out at the louring sunshine that spilled across Hogwarts grounds. She could practically hear the birds chirping her name. And not to forget Potter's toned abs calling out 'Alright, Evans?'. _Wow, weird imagery._ _Definitely losing it, slowly but surely._

"You know what?" Lily announced triumphantly, "Screw it. I'll come with you!"

"YAY!" Dorcas embraced the petite Lily in a bear hug. The group of Gryffindors got up and slowly sauntered towards the entrance hall.

When they reached the large double doors, Lily suddenly stopped in her tracks and called over to the others, "Uh, actually, I'll meet you out there."

The group turned to look at her in surprise.

"Don't you dare go to the library and study, Evans," Sirius lectured her as he held the grand wooden door to the grounds open for Remus, Peter and Dorcas.

"You wouldn't!" Dorcas gasped, throwing her blonde locks over her shoulders while placing her hands at her hips in mock-judgement.

"No no," Lily quickly soothed them, "I just have to, erm, get a jumper from my dorm first. You never know, it might be colder out than it looks. You don't want your head girl to get sick now, do you?"

"Ahh, gotcha. See you in a bit," Dorcas threw her a kiss and skipped out after Remus and Peter, and confused-looking Sirius followed behind her.

The truth for her detour was not her need of layers, but the fact that Lily desperately had to pee. It was an absolute bladder-bursting necessity that she go right this minute- and she just didn't really feel like sharing this information with the bulk of the guys from her class. Dorcas knew the code all too well.

As Lily sped along the first-floor corridor and desperately tried to keep her head from picturing the Black Lake, waterfalls, and bubbling gargoyles. When she finally burst through the door of the first-floor bathroom, in anticipation of her awaited relief, she almost ran right into the gaggle of girls lounging in front of the mirrors. In fact, she did run right into exactly one of them.

"WHOA!" Lily smacked into a tall Ravenclaw garb-clad body, "Gah! Oh, sorry, Alexa! I'm SO sorry, I just- didn't see where I was going! I'm _such_ an airhead. Well, you already knew that, right? Hah. Hah."

Lily felt her face and neck turn bright red. Her voice had the annoying tendency of going squeaky and shaky whenever she conversed with the tall, confident Alexa Johnson. Something about that girl intimidated her incredibly and on top of that, Lily always had the nauseating notion of betraying her with the suppressed feelings she still had for James.

"That's alright, Lily," Alexa responded calmly, straightening up and adjusting her dented uniform. Lily sighed in relief at Alexa's serenity, but quickly noticed that the rest of the Ravenclaw gang that protectively surrounded the leggy prefect exuded anything but kindness. More specifically, they eyed Lily with pure loathe.

After a moment of confusion, Lily's bladder pressed for attention again and the head girl managed to stutter a few more desperate 'I'm _so_ sorries' as she backed up into the stall furthest away from the group.

She quickly locked the door to the stall shut behind her.

 _Ahh_ , sweet relief. Lily relaxed and recovered a bit from the awkward previous scenario as she sat on the loo.

Until -

"Did she even say she was sorry?" a hushed voice carried over to Lily's stall.

The voice that Lily knew to belong to Alexa responded softly, "Yes, of course she did, Amber."

Someone turned the tap on.

"Well, I didn't hear it," Amber tutted.

Another faucet was turned on, causing the ceiling and walls of the grand bathroom to echo the hissing noise of the sputtering water back and forth. If the running water was an attempt to drown out the Ravenclaw girls' voices, however, the act was miserably failing them – Lily could still distinctively make out every single syllable they spoke. She stood up and turned to flush.

"Oh come on, it's Ms. Perfect, of course she'll _say_ she's sorry," a third snide voice commented.

Lily paused and momentarily refrained from activating the flush. _Ms. Perfect?_ She felt like Ms. Perfect would have graciously managed to _not_ knock the intimidating Alexa Johnson over in the first place.

"If you ask me, that was not an accident," the voice that belonged to Amber announced under her breath.

Another snide voice remarked, "I swear to you, I saw her single you out when she came in."

Lily rolled her eyes. This was stupid- what on Earth would drive her to purposely knock Alexa over!? She reached forward for the lever again; she didn't want to eavesdrop like this and, in truth, it didn't really help her already dented confidence.

"Guys, _shh_ , cut it out okay?" Alexa's voice now carried into her stall and Lily instantly felt relief as she realised that the prefect was being sensible.

Then Alexa added, "You know she can probably hear us, right?"

Lily's hand pulled back from the lever again. Was Alexa agreeing with these birds?!

"You know, maybe she should," Amber noted tellingly.

Another voice joined in, "Totally! Alexa, you should absolutely tell her how you feel."

 _Is that Victoria!?_ Lily wondered.

Victoria Camden had been Lily's Herbology partner since second year, and one of the nicest and upright girls Lily knew at Hogwarts. Since when was she hanging out with that insufferable gossip Amber Hough?

"It's creepy enough that she's sharing a dorm with your boyfriend, let alone spends every waking minute clutched to his ankles," the sixth year Ravenclaw Wilhelmina Flockheart claimed and the other girls of the group adamantly affirmed.

 _Riiight, now I remember- it was_ _my_ _love-crazy idea to honour the frizillion-year-long tradition to share a dormitory with the head boy. They're kidding, right!?_

Lily paced back and forth in the tiny stall, scrunching up her ponytail in frustration. Was this really what these girls thought of her? That she was trying to steal Alexa's boyfriend away from her? She had done everything in her powers to keep a safe colleague-like distance between them during her and James' one-on-one meetings and patrols.

"He's not my—," Alexa cleared her throat and stalled.

"What is it, sweetie?" Amber asked nosily.

"Well, in truth, James doesn't want to officially label me as his girlfriend. Yet," Alexa quickly added.

Lily ears pricked up.

"Oh, darling," Amber sang sympathetically.

"But I mean I get it!" Alexa quickly disclosed, "In truth, it was really my idea. Don't tell him I confided that in you! I just hurt him so much when I broke it off with him last summer, you know? I totally agree that we should take it slow. I mean, I haven't stopped seeing Conner MacLadden yet, have I?"

"But that's just physical, so that doesn't really count," Wilhelmina countered, "I mean you and James still haven't-"

Alexa sighed, "No, not yet. He's like the only damn guy in the world who has this whole honour thing going on- says he can't do it without being in love. James is just such a sensitive guy, you know?"

The Ravenclaw girls sighed in admiring unison.

Lily leaned against the door, closing her eyes tightly. This was all way too much information to take in at once.

"Did you see that that cow sat down next to him at lunch?" Wilhelmina suddenly said and the group gasped in unison.

"The nerve!" Amber sneered viciously.

 _Great, we're back on that topic. HE SAT DOWN NEXT TO ME!_

"Totally! And this morning at the Order? _What do you think of when you produce your patronus_ ," Wilhelmina excruciatingly mimicked Lily as an airheaded bimbo.

"She was probably secretly hoping that he'd say that she inspires his stag," Amber snickered.

"What a line," someone threw in.

 _DID I REALLY SAY THAT!? I've got to admit, it does sound sickening._

"It's not even so much rude," Alexa commented airily, "as it's just sad."

 _Thanks, girl._

"Oh Alexa, you have such a big heart!" Victoria gushed, "Only you would think of her as the victim."

 _Suddenly, not a big fan of Victoria's anymore._

Alexa went on, "Well she's pining after someone who she could've had a few years back, but was too stuck up to realise what she was missing out on. And now, that he's with someone he truly cares about, she probably realises how great James actually is."

 _Correction: A few years back this supposedly 'great guy's' personality stunk of beetle dung. I remember a time when he tried to make the phrase 'Pot me a Lily' stick. Seriously, chauvinistic flower references!? What a charmer._

"Hellooooo ladies," Moaning Myrtles' snide voice echoed through the bathroom, "just so you're aware, a certain head girl has been eavesdropping on your conversation for the past ten minutes."

Lily quickly pulled the lever and the flush sounded like thunder through the bathroom. When she stepped out of her stall, Moaning Myrtle hovered shortly above the Ravenclaws' heads, who were all looking at her.

"Is that true?!" Wilhelmina hissed at the ghost while Lily walked over to the sinks as nonchalantly as she could muster at the given situation.

"Ev-er-y word," Myrtle sounded out as Amber turned the faucets shut and a silence spread across the girls' bathroom.

Alexa nervously looked at Lily-

"Hey Lily, about what you just heard-" the Quidditch player said loudly, a plastic smile plastered across her face.

"Heard?" Lily pretended to be thoroughly confused, "Um, I didn't hear anything, Alexa."

"No?" Alexa asked cautiously, glancing nervously around to her friends.

Lily turned the faucet on and grabbed for the soap, "Nope. You see, I was peeing."

"Yes, right," Alexa said brightly and threw the other Ravenclaw girls another telling look.

"Why? Is there something I should've heard?" Lily raised her eyebrows and watched Alexa through the mirror as she continued to wash her hands under the hot water.

"Uh," Alexa squirmed, "No no, nothing at all, Lily! I was just telling the other girls about my tactics for the next game and Myrtle was afraid that you overheard. You know, team spirit and all!"

"Ah, well," Lily responded cheerfully, "No need to worry, Alexa, it's not like I'd understand any of that anyhow, right?"

"Uh, Right," Alexa breathed out in relief and smiled toothily, "Well, see you at the meeting tonight, Lily!"

The Ravenclaw girls scrambled and made to follow Alexa out of the bathroom.

Lily overheard a gleeful Amber Hough whisper "Nice save" to the grinning Alexa, and a last round of evil giggles was heard from the group before the heavy bathroom door swung shut.

Lily rubbed her eyes, turned the faucet off and pressed her forehead against the cool mirror glass.

Myrtle, who was still hovering above the sinks behind Lily, complained in her whiny voice, "Why do you a _lways_ ruin the chance for a good catfight?"

Lily reproached the irritating ghost, "Why did you have to do that, Myrtle!?"

"Who? Me?" Myrtle exclaimed, feigning shock, "I was merely addressing the facts!"

"How about the fact that you almost ruined my _life_ , Myrtle!?" Lily huffed dramatically, her hands at her hips and her wand twirling dangerously between her fingers.

The head girl, however, instantly regretted saying anything at all to the overtly sensitive ghost. Myrtle's lower lip shook and her eyes filled up with murky tears.

"Ruined your LIFE!? REALLY!? At least you're not DEEEEEEEEAD!"" Myrtle hollered as she dived into the next clogged toilet. Lily's shoulders tensed at the fading wailing sounds that echoed off the walls. After they had receded, Lily rolled her eyes at the insufferable situation she had just lived through, waited two minutes to avoid another confrontation with the snippy Ravenclaw girls and walked out of the bathroom.

* * *

"Ahh, how go-eth the search of the jumper?" Sirius cheerfully called down to Lily as she made her way up the many steps of the Quidditch Pitch bleachers.

"Not too well, it seems," Remus observed as he quickly scanned Lily's hands, "since she apparently forgot to bring it at all. Did you forget why you left to go to your dorm once you made it?"

"Happens to me all the time," Peter sighed, his gaze not shifting away from the Quidditch players overhead.

"Oh, my little bottle of Veritaserum," Sirius said lovingly as he patted Peter's head.

"Everything alright, Lily?" Dorcas asked kindly when she saw Lily's distracted expression.

"What?" Lily snapped out of her thoughts, "Oh, hey guys. Yeah, everything's fine. Well, actually…"

"What is it?" Dorcas patted on the spot on the bench next to her and Lily took a seat on the hard wooden seat.

Lily sighed deeply. She really didn't want to repeat what she had just heard in the first-floor bathroom, but she knew that Dorcas wouldn't let go and that she would probably feel better too, once she had told someone.

"Oh, I don't know, it's really silly. I went to the first-floor you-know-where and, well, I sort of ran into Alexa and her group of friends-"

"I hate Amanda Hough thoroughly," Dorcas cut in, pulling at one of her sandy curls and scrunching her nose in distaste.

"Me too," Peter commented, still admiring the practicing Quidditch players up ahead, but wearing a sour expression all the same. Lily remembered how Amanda had loudly laughed in Peter's face when he had asked her to the Halloween feast in fourth year and how she had told anyone who would listen that Peter had tried to bribe her into going out with him with massive amounts of chocolate. Lily never knew that he was one to hold on to a grudge for so long.

"Great shag though," playfully Sirius added in his signature husky voice, but when Peter, Lily and Dorcas all pin-pointed him with death-glares he quickly added, "Kidding."

"What happened next?" Dorcas urged Lily on and the head girl, despite her initial reservations, continued to repeat all the terrible things that Alexa and her friends had said about her. When she was finished, Dorcas' mouth stood agape and angry little red spots spread across her forehead and nose.

"What is wrong with these people!? You're the nicest person in this whole damn place! Seriously, I always knew Johnson was conceited, but who knew she was a downright b-"

"Don't, Dori," Lily quickly cut in, "Don't sink to their level. All of this is awful enough, I don't want to, you know, ruin things with Alexa for good by trash talking her and her friends."

"Oh Lilykins," Sirius sighed and laid a lanky arm around her protectively, "Get your shit together, will you?"

Lily blinked and instantly shoved his arm off of her shoulder, "Erm, _excuse me_?"

"He's right, Lily," Dorcas nodded and Lily looked at her as if she had gone insane.

"Yup," Peter agreed monotonously, his pupils circling in unison with the route of James' broom.

"You lot are mad!" Lily snapped back angrily at her so-called friends.

"Honestly, Evans," Sirius continued, unedited, "How thick are you? You're still scared that Alexa won't like you?"

"You know, there's nothing wrong with wanting people to like you," Lily muttered back, watching as James flew to the two Gryffindor beaters, wildly gesturing as he appeared to lecture them on something.

"Wake up, Lily!" Dorcas suddenly exclaimed making Lily jump a little, frustrated with her best friend, "She already doesn't like you!"

Lily blinked, bewildered at the thought.

"From everything you've just told us, she actually seems to hate you," Sirius agreed with Dorcas.

"Well," Lily was at a loss for words in the presence of the harsh truth, "Well, so what if she does?"

"That's the spirit, Evans!" Sirius cheerfully clapped her on the back, "You've got to realise that Johnson already despises you. In her eyes, you're already a terrible person, basically trying to get with James every chance you get. So what, if you actually go after Prongs? From what you're telling me, that would just go in line with her opinion of you."

"That doesn't make it right!" Lily fired back, crossing her arms in front of her chest defiantly.

"Of course, it doesn't," Remus, who had been awfully quiet before, jumped in to Lily's surprise, "It's just, that if you were refraining from signalling your interest in James because of fear of Alexa's wrath or in honour of their relationship, it's obviously not worth it. From what you're telling us, she's actually with someone else on the side! We're not saying that you should try to steal him away- well okay _I'm_ not saying that, calm down you awful people- _but_ if you were to make it plain that you're interested, or at least would refrain from pushing him away when he makes his move, then there's nothing to lose, is there?"

Lily thought this over. Wasn't it just as bad to tell someone in a relationship that you liked them as actively pursuing them? Although, if he made a move on her, was it her duty to reject him out respect for the girl he was seeing? Probably. But what if the girl he was seeing was a horrible person!? Was there a play by play on moral conduct for this particular situation in one of the library books? Lily doubted it. She didn't want to break girl code, but at the same time she didn't want to miss her chance of telling him how she felt before things with Alexa and James got more and more serious, which she now knew they weren't really.

"OI, heads up!"

A football-sized red ball grazed Lily's ear.

"Gah!" the head girl fell over in shock and knocked the back of her head on the bench behind her.

"You alright there, Evans?" James Potter landed a couple of benches beneath where the group had seated themselves and trotted up to see if his head girl was seriously injured.

"Brilliant," Lily huffed as Dorcas and Sirius stabilised her arms and pulled her back up onto her seat on the bench, "I swear, I don't know much, but aren't the medium-sized black ones supposed to knock people over?"

"Yeah, sorry about that," the lean Quidditch captain grinned and ran a hand through his dishevelled hair, "Bolton is still a little rough around the edges. No worries, he's on the bench next week."

"Ah yes, that does relieve all of my worries," Lily grimaced and rubbed her throbbing scalp.

James' grin grew even wider, "Didn't know you like watching me practice, Evans."

"I feel like as captain you should be aware – there's a whole lot of people out there training right now, not just you, Potter," Lily fired back, earning an elbow in the side from Dorcas.

 _Right. Signal interest, stop pushing him away. Got it._

"Oh, give in, Evans, you're here just for my benefit," James taunted and gave her his lopsided grin that made Lily's traitor knees fail her over and over again. She took a minute to stare at him intently, his handsome features illuminated by the sun and his athletic body clad in the agreeable red uniform, and she knew in her heart that there was no other reason for her to be here than James Potter.

"Yup," she finally croaked in response.

James grin faltered and he looked a little taken aback, "Uh, what now?"

"That's why I'm here," Lily said matter-of-factly, tucking a strand of hair that had escaped her ponytail behind her ear.

James' eyes narrowed.

"Haha. Erm, okay? Did you hit your head hard, Evans?"

Lily rolled her eyes, "Well, you wanted to know if I was here for your benefit. The answer is, yes - I came to enjoy the sunshine, spend quality time with my friends, to support Marlene, sure, but mainly to watch you do your captain thing."

James mouth stood agape. Peter, a row down from Lily, snorted quietly into his arm.

"I like it," Lily added, quite unstoppable now that the gates of communication were open.

James swallowed, "Um. What?"

"The whole shtick, I'm into it," Lily went on, "You know, the fitted uniform, the windswept hair, how you yell positions and when you fly really fast and recklessly. I dig that."

James' flabbergast gaze wandered from Lily to Remus, to see if he was in on it. Remus just shrugged and smiled innocently up at the head boy.

"Um. Hah. Okay, good one, Evans," James croaked, fumbling with his shiny broom.

Lily shrugged, "You asked."

"Um," James looked her in the eyes, his gaze pleading a little, "I guess I did, yeah."

"I think you should be getting back up there, they all seem a little lost without you," Lily nodded in the direction of the field. James turned his head and seemed quite surprised to see a number of red-clad figures floating mid-air, waiting for his signal.

"Right," he breathed out, swallowing hard. The seemingly somewhat lost head boy stepped back onto his broom and aimlessly zigzagged back onto the field.

"See you at the prefects' meeting!" Lily brightly called after him. The spectating Gryffindors could see the back of James' head bopping up and down in response as he flew further and further away, halting only when he flew into Marlene, who forcefully had to knock him out of his trance.

Sirius, Peter, Remus and Dorcas burst out laughing.

"Priceless! That was priceless, Evans," Sirius panted, wiping a tear away.

"That was truly brilliant, Lily," Dorcas hiccupped through her giggles and hugged her best friend tightly to avoid falling over the benches from laughing too hard.

"I don't think Prongs will forget that anytime soon," Remus grinned.

"Oh come on, guys," Lily grumbled, frustrated with their amusement over her crappy love life, "You just said not to push him away! Did I do it wrong again?"

"Nope, that was perfect," Remus nodded cheerfully as he leaned back on the bench behind them, warming his face in the early autumn sun.

"But was she too forward?" Dorcas contemplated and Lily's heart sank at the comment.

"I think he probably thought you were joking," Peter squeaked.

"Highly likely," Sirius wrapped an arm around the pale Lily, "but then that's his own damn fault, isn't it? Not to worry, he'll come around. You did a brilliant job, Evans. Who knew you had it in you?!"

"I just did what you said!" Lily hollered defensively, shoving his arm off of her once more.

"Well, that just goes to show that we were obviously not very clear before," Dorcas realised, her expression overjoyed at what had just come to pass.

Lily rolled her eyes and stood up from the bench, "You lot are insufferable. If you don't mind, I'd rather spend my time with the only honest thing in my life – books."

"Nooo," the group of friends complained, but Lily wouldn't have it. At least her books wouldn't mock her like they did. She cast one more look up at the playing field, where James was just relieving a Beater from his bat and hitting him hard with it. Only when Lily made it past the Whomping Willow did she notice the huge grin that was plastered across her face.

"Oof!"

Lily saw stars instead of sunlight for a moment.

 _Today is not my day._

"Lily," a gloomy voice muttered a few feet away from her. The head girl shoved her auburn ponytail out of her face and discovered that the object collided with into was no other than Severus Snape.

 _Wow. Today is reeeally not my day._

"Oh, erm. Sev. Hi. Sorry about that," Lily stuttered, "I really need to get my eyesight checked at the rate I'm going today."

"What?" Severus offered her a hand to help her up, but she ignored it and quickly jumped back on her feet by herself.

"Never mind," she briskly responded and dusted herself off, "Just me being clumsy, that's all."

"Oh," Severus muttered, pulling his outstretched hand back and shoving it into his robe pocket.

"Yeah," Lily sighed uncomfortably and fidgeted with her skirt as they stood in silence, "So I'll just see you ar-"

"What were you doing outside?" Severus suddenly pressed.

"Um," Lily responded, a little taken aback.

"You were at the Quidditch Pitch," Severus answered for her.

Lily furrowed her eyebrows Was he keeping tabs on her?

"Yes, Sev, I was," she confirmed curtly. She had nothing to hide, after all. The times of fearing what Severus Snape thought of her were definitely over.

"We're a fan now, are we?" Severus sneered, distaste glimmering in his black eyes.

Lily snickered, "Well, I didn't know that _we_ were. Good to hear you routing for an opposing house's team, Sev! Super diplomatic of you."

The Slytherin grimaced, "Don't be ridiculous, Lily."

"Oh, was I being ridiculous again? Please do excuse me, but I was under the impression that you were dismayed with my support of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, which, let's be honest, is the most absurd thing I've ever heard," Lily crossed her arms in front of her chest as armour.

"I _didn't_ ," Severus snapped, looked over his shoulder and lowered his voice, "I never said that you can't support- I know that you only went for _him_."

"Hold the phone, Sev," Lily announced and held up her hand, pretending to be in complete shock, "Are you saying that you don't want me to be with James Potter!? THIS IS COMPLETELY NEW INFORMATION!"

Snape ignored her antics and instead threateningly sneered, "So you're all over Potter again, then."

Lily put her raised hand to her forehead in frustration, "What's it to you, Sev?"

"He's a criminal," Snape barked back.

"Great," Lily rolled her eyes, "we're back on the Animagi train. You told me this when we talked three weeks ago, but you didn't have any proof for it then and I highly doubt you have any now."

"Just follow me tonight," Snape urged, pinning her with his black eyes. Lily raised her eyebrows.

"Um, that sounds creepy," she blurted out.

"I'll prove it to you tonight," Severus beseeched, "When Potter spends the night with his criminal friends. You'll see it for yourself."

"James is not going out with the Marauders tonight," Lily commented, regretting that she had been pulled into this conversation at all. She knew better.

"What!?" Snape spat back disbelievingly.

"We have a prefect's meeting tonight, which you would know if you hadn't resigned from your post, and as far as I know, the Marauders are not doing anything of much together anymore, since James and Sirius had their fallout."

"So, you're taking his side then?!" Severus sneered and Lily gritted her teeth, "Just think about it, Lily, everything makes sense! Why they're disappearing during full moon, the constant fatigue and the bruises the week after, their infantile nicknames for one another-"

"Severus, stop!" Lily yelled to shut him up, "Stop accusing James of all of these things. It's not going to make me- Just because you try to make him look bad won't make me not-"

"If you go out with him, you are dead to me," Severus growled at her.

Lily blinked at his words. All the things Dumbledore had said to her, all the warnings he had given and the caution he had advised vanished into meaningless smoke.

She laughed in his face, "Well, if I were you, I'd better get used to it then."

With that, she stomped off to her dormitory with a racing heart and a throbbing head.

As she lay on her beautiful blue duvet, an abandoned Advanced Potions book placed on top of her chest, Lily couldn't halt Severus' words from intertwining with her thoughts. She was piecing things together that weren't supposed to be connected. It felt like the time she had found out about Remus' furry little problem- it didn't make any sense that the shy, kind boy from her class was in fact a beastly werewolf, but something wasn't quite right all the same. Back then, Severus had uncovered the truth that he had no business knowing. But this was different, wasn't it? He wanted her to loathe James, so he was making up a story.

Nonetheless, she had once caught Sirius, Peter and James sneak out of the Gryffindor dormitory at full moon in their sixth year when they thought she had fallen asleep in the common room during one of her late-night study sessions. In truth, she _had_ been dozing off, but when Potter couldn't help himself from removing the heavy textbook from her face, she had stirred. Being the good prefect she was, she had of course immediately given them a round of detention, but back then Sirius had just patted her on the head and James had winked at her before they outright ignored her command to head back to bed and left her fuming in the common room. Of course, it wasn't anything new that the Marauders didn't do as she said, but she noticed now that Black hadn't tried to argue with her or that Potter hadn't tried to confuse her with absurd muggle come ons ("Say Evans, have you ever considered a career as a defibrillator?") like usual. And what was that absurd conversation today at lunch? They had been fighting about something to do with tonight… and this morning, James' patronus… a stag… _Prongs_ -

Lily jumped up from her bed. As she raced down the many flights of stairs, skipping steps while desperately trying not to collide with a third person today, her head filtered a thousand thoughts per second- _Prongs, prongs, prongs_.

She entered the Great Hall, where hundreds of students were busy having supper and jogged over to where Marlene and the other seventh year Gryffindors were sitting. James was not amongst them.

"Where is he," she demanded when she came to a screeching halt behind Marlene. The black-haired Quidditch player turned to look over her shoulder.

"What? Where? Who?" Marlene asked in confusion, "sit down, Lily. Eat something."

"Later," Lily shot back through gritted teeth, "where is he?"

"Merlin, Lily, who are you talking about!?" Marlene examined her best friend like she was a crazy person and when Lily didn't respond, she came to her own conclusion, "if you're asking me about Potter's whereabouts, I only know that after our four- _freaking_ -hour-long practice he said something about 'washing our team's miserable failure away', but- OI! Lily, where are you going!?"

Lily, however, had no time to respond as she stormed out of the Great Hall. There was no way it could be true. Could it!? She almost knocked over two timid-looking second year Slytherins who were on their way to supper as she took two steps at a time racing back up to the fifth floor.

"Magnficent," Lily wheezed when she finally made it to the wooden door, holding her stinging side, "John."

Boris the Bewildered eyed her suspiciously as the door to the Prefects' Bathroom swung open.

"POTTER!" the head girl shouted through the tiled room momentarily after entrance, covering her eyes to avoid the risk of seeing something she wasn't quite ready for, "Potter, I need to talk to you RIGHT now! What the- AHH!"

Lily screeched as she slipped on the wet, soapy tiles and landed in the filled tub with a loud splash. She lost her orientation while her head was under the dark, warm water and for a split-second she imagined how embarrassing it would be for her parents, if the pastor of their village talked about her having drowned in an unusually large bathtub at school at her eulogy. Petunia would probably not be able to contain her laughter for years. Just as Lily was sure that she was seeing the light and was certain that her end was near, someone grabbed her around the waist and pulled her up. She breathed in deeply.

"Evans, what in the name of Dumbledore's colourful Christmas ornaments!?"

Lily finally dared to open her eyes and came to the daunting realisation that she was pressed up against James Potter's naked chest. _Yum. Erm, no,_ _bad Lily_. This was a disaster.

"Potter, what the hell are you doing here!?" she squealed, trying to graciously remove herself from his chiselled abs without looking (but still looking) at them.

"What am I doing here? Evans, you jumped into my bath," James clarified, trying to sound serious while the corners of his mouth twitched treacherously. Lily back-paddled to get a good yard's distance between them.

"Well, why don't you have the bathroom door locked, Potter?!" Lily fired back, wondering if her mascara was smeared across her face.

"Comedic relief," James laughed at her beet-red face, "Are you seriously gonna be mad at me for not locking the door when you storm in here screaming my name?"

"I was _not_ ," she splashed a load of water at him, "I was just, um-"

"Looking to take a bath?" he asked innocently, a shameless grin plastered across his face.

" _You_!" Lily turned around and swam to the next ladder.

"Oh, come on, Evans, you're brilliantly ruining the fantasy version of this for me," James called after her and Lily growled as she climbed up the ladder.

"For your information," the shivering, dripping Lily announced to the snickering head boy when she finally managed climb out of the pool and stood tall and firmly on her two feet, "I came here to discuss a very serious matter. It's just like you to disrespect me and my position as head girl and instead make this about something unrelated and interpersonal. You should really think about the way you treat women the next time you don't lock the door when you're taking a bath or when you recklessly flood this place with soap water. I'm lucky, that I endured no further injuries at the hands of your carelessness! As head boy, you should really overthink you actions and consider being more attentive."

"Hey Evans, in the spirit of being more attentive," James grinned at her from below, "you're blouse has gone completely see-through."

"POTTER!" Lily screeched as she looked down her front and quickly folded her arms over her chest.

"Oh, calm down," James said as he in turn swam towards the ladder, "nothing I haven't seen before."

"Um, _excuse me_!?" Lily's face burned a bright shade of crimson, "I truly, honestly, sincerely hope that you're joking, Potter."

"Hope all you want," James said brightly, holding on to the handles of the ladder and pulling himself up.

"GAH!" Lily turned around and pressed her eyes shut, "Give a girl a warning, will you Potter!?"

"Sorry," James replied, obviously enjoying her uncomfortable squirming way too much. Lily heard him walking towards the towel area. After a few seconds of her awkwardly standing there, eyes closed and furiously dripping on the floor, she felt a weight on her shoulders. She opened her eyes a crack and saw that James had laid a fluffy white towel around her. He himself was dressed in a soft white bathrobe and Lily finally relaxed and opened her eyes fully.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" James asked nonchalantly as he strolled over to stand opposite of her, "Merlin, Evans, your lips are turning blue!

He pulled out his wand and gave it a complicated little wave so that hot air streamed out of the tip and dried her school uniform. Lily bit her help as the hot air streamed over her body. As she longingly snuck a glance at the engaged boy in front of her, it struck her why she had come in the first place.

"Thanks," she murmured after even her hair had gone soft and warm at the nape of her neck, "James, I have to ask you something and I'm not even sure that I want to know the answer."

"Okay?" he responded tentatively at her ominous words, adjusting his spectacles as he gazed at her.

"Well, I know how this sounds, but," Lily started uncertainly, "but, remember when Severus came to talk to me that one Monday night?"

Something behind James' eyes shifted and he sounded crestfallen, "Yes. You said he asked you to be relieved from his prefect position."

"Right, right, and he did," she quickly said, "but that night, and well, again today, he told me about this theory he has… about you."

James sighed heavily, "Evans, I mean no disrespect here, but I really don't give a shit about Snape or whatever he might think of me."

"No, I know," she responded quickly.

"I do, however," he went on, unfazed, "care about your judgement of me. I guess I can only hope that you don't base it on his assumptions -"

"Are you an Animagus, James?" Lily cut him off.

James blinked.

"How," he croaked and swallowed, "Why would you say that, Lils?"

"That wasn't an answer to my question," Lily responded dryly and watched the head boy's eyes flicker to meet hers and then back to a spot somewhere around the area of her shoulder.

"Well?" Lily pressed, as he kept his gaze averted, "James, if you don't answer me, I'm going to assume the worst. I'm going to have to take this to McGonagall, to Dumbledore!"

He kept quiet, either deep in thought or demonstratively ignoring her. Lily's heart pounded as she understood that Severus had told her some version of the truth.

"James, do you realise this is a felony!?" she confronted him. Her voice had gone squeaky and shaky. She felt rage and disappointment build up inside her chest as James still said nothing to her.

"Why- _how_ – when did you even have time to do this stupid thing?" she wanted to know, shoving him a little to force a response.

James easily grasped her wrists and pleaded, "Lily, I can't-"

Lily felt tears fill her eyes as she tried to escape his grip, "How could you lie to me like this?!"

"Oh, Lily," he whispered and she saw how her accusations hit him, "I would never- Believe me, you're the first person I'd tell-"

"That's crap!" she shouted at him, blinking to keep her tears at bay, "you could've told me at any point in time, but you chose not to- "

"To protect you, Lily!" he roared back, "Anyone who knows is liable!"

Lily laughed disbelievingly.

"You just don't trust me," she spat back irrationally.

"Lils, I'd trust you with my life if you'd let me," James countered honestly, "but I can't threaten yours. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if it got out and someone found out that you knew."

Tears started streaming down her face at his words. She stopped fighting his grip around her wrists and let him wrap his strong arms around her. She knew why she was coming undone at the thought of James not confiding such a huge thing in her, but she was sure that he thought her mad for feeling so strongly about it. She cried into his bathrobe for a while, feeling safe in his arms as he buried his face in her hair, before she regained composure.

"Tell me," she sniffed into the soft fabric of the pristine bathrobe that she had probably ruined with snot and pulled away to gaze up into his hazel eyes. He sighed heavily as he took her in.

"Are you sure?" he asked tentatively. The head girl nodded fiercely.

"Okay. Well, I managed the first full transformation in fifth year-"

"Wait, _what!?_ How is that even possible?" Lily interrupted and rolled her eyes at the proud gleam in James' eyes, "never mind, prodigy extraordinaire."

"Lils, you have to know that we didn't just do it because it was reckless and illegal," he grinned at Lily's raised eyebrows, "well it wasn't the main motivation anyway, more of a bonus. Pads and I just- it just sucked to see Moony in so much pain and that he had to go through it all alone. No one should have to do that."

"That's," Lily exhaled, "incredible."

At her words, James' expression instantly changed from anxious to utterly thrilled.

"You think?" he inquired, running a nervous hand through his damp hair. It was slowly starting to stick up into all directions again.

 _Um, do I think it's incredible that this boy is so friggin' talented that he's managed to fully transform into an Animagus without any help at sixteen, kept something so braggable on the downlow, and on top of that only did it for his diseased friend!? Marry me now, please!_

Lily grinned in response, "To be honest, I'm jealous."

James laughed heartily, "Oh, we can arrange something for you, Evans. I know transfiguration isn't your best subject, but practice makes perfect."

"Trying to smooth-talk me into your criminal ways, Potter?" she smirked and let his tease about her less-than-perfect transfiguration skills slide.

"It's the only way worth living, baby," he laughed and spun his wand between his fingers showily. She hadn't seen him so happy in a long time and she could feel the glee mirrored on her own face.

"I'll see you at the meeting, _Prongs_ ," she giggled back at him and left the giddy, bath-robed head boy behind as she went back down to the Great Hall to finally shove some well-deserved potatoes into her belly.

* * *

After downing a laden plait of carrot-mushroom stew and a generous slice of pie, Lily slung her bookbag over her shoulder and headed for the prefect's staff room. After her slip and dive in the Prefects' Bathroom, her hair had dried into silky waves down her back, which was a state that she allowed less in her cramped schedule of high ponytails, but definitely preferred. She sometimes felt the carefree and creative parts of her nature ironed over in all the seriousness that her head girl position asked of her. Her enthralling encounter with James Potter, however, had her skipping up the staircase with giddiness. When she entered the staff room, a buzzing crowd of prefects had already assembled.

An ill-looking Remus beelined straight toward her.

"I can't stay long. Half an hour max," the pale boy quietly murmured.

"Remus, you look horrible! This won't take long, but still, just head on out now. I will fill you in on everything next week, promise," she assured him, and Remus gave her a weak smile.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely!" she basically shoved him out of the door, "I have just one question for you."

"Erm, yeah?" Remus asked unsurely.

"Decorations or music committee!?" she squealed at him in delight.

"Merlin, lynch me now," Remus moaned in response, looking worse by the second.

"Thought so," Lily grinned up at him, "You'll be head of the Butter Beer Booth then."

The young about-to-transform werewolf groaned one last time at his party-planning prospects before meandering out of the door.

"Alright, settle down, everyone!" Lily called across the crowded Prefects' Staff Room and the eager students hushed each other to silence, "as we've announced last week, today's meeting is about planning the Halloween Feast. In light of the grim political landscape outside of Hogwarts, Dumbledore has agreed to one night of celebration to get everyone's spirits up. Following the grand feast that we all know and love, there will be dancing, a costume contest and whatever else you lot think of!"

Excited buzzing instantly filled the staff room as the prefect's discussed Halloween plans.

"Evening," James Potter entered the staff room and Lily leaned against the desk behind her to not fall over at the sight of him. Her twisting stomach was making the Whomping Willow proud.

"Nice of you to join us, Potter," she casually called across the room at him, but couldn't help but bite her lip at the sight of his freshly washed, fluffy and unruly hair that stuck up in random places on his head. He moved through the crowd and toward her. Lily noticed that Alexa Johnson followed his back with burning eyes.

"Couldn't have waited another five minutes, Evans?" James murmured into Lily's ear when he made it through the crowded room.

"Well, how was I supposed to know it was only going to be five minutes?" she challenged him, but smirked nonetheless.

"Faith, Evans," he responded quietly, grinning back, "and anyway, how was I supposed to know that your whale-like plunge into my bath would flood and stop my grandfather's watch?"

He held up the beautiful apparatus that he usually wore around his wrist. Moons and stars were scattered under the drowned glass. Lily's chest instantly tinged with guilt.

"I'm _so_ sorry, James, I really didn't mean to do that," she quickly took the watch from his hand and tried a few spells to fix it. The moons remained lifeless.

"No need to worry," James assured her, taking the precious object from her, "it's not the value of the watch I care about, but that of its previous owner. Still works that way, eh?"

He tied the broken watch back around his wrist.

"OI, LISTEN UP!" he then shouted across the room, "Evans has explained why you're here today. We've prepared sign-up sheets of different committees you can choose to join. In one week from today we want to hear what each group proposes. Evans and I will have the final say. Once we okay your ideas, it will be solely your responsibility to deliver. This is a team effort! If one of you lets the Quaffle go, we all fall from our brooms, you hear me?"

"Going a bit hard on the training, Potter?" Kendrick called at the head boy and a group of prefects giggled.

"Have you even managed to book the pitch yet this season!?" James barked back, "If I were you, I'd shut it, Jordan -"

"Alright, let's keep this amicable, shall we?" Lily cut between them, "Here are the lists. Please sign up now, and after you can head on to enjoy the rest of your Sunday. Except for you, Vance and Corden, you've got rounds."

After another fifteen minutes, all prefects had written their names under one or more committees, and judging by their excited chattering as they left the staff room, they were quite pleased with the head student's festive plans.

"That went alright, didn't it?" Lily contemplated as she took a seat on the large wooden table. James collected the scattered parchments with a flick of his wand.

"Yeah, should be fun," the head boy responded briskly as he hastily scanned the room.

Only now did Lily consciously register that her and James were the only ones left in the otherwise deserted staff room.

"I'm so excited to do the ceremonious lighting of the pumpkins this year," Lily suddenly heard herself babble to fill the insinuated silence, "Remember last year, when we had the live bats? They kept flying into my hair. It was horrible!"

James took a few brave strides toward the blubbering head girl and planted himself directly in front of her. Lily's palms filled with sweat as she grasped onto the edge of the table she was sitting on.

"And when Peeves spilled the punch on Professor Sprout's head!? I mean, I'm sure no one would've noticed that Sirius and you spiked the punch if she hadn't basically inhaled half a litre of it!"

James raised his hand and brushed a stray auburn lock behind her left ear.

"I like your hair like this," he croaked.

Lily felt her cheeks turn pink and didn't dare to look up into his eyes, in case she'd feint under the electricity.

"Thanks," she breathed back, bighting her lower lip hard to focus on something but for his intoxicating minty breath on her face.

"Lils?" he quietly asked and lowered his face to hers so that she couldn't avoid his gaze anymore.

"Y- yes?"

Her voice came out high-pitched and squeaky. They had never been this close before. Her heart was racing.

"What was that earlier, on the pitch?" he murmured, closing in on her. His hands, that were stabilising him on the wooden table, moved over hers.

"Um," she whispered back, her mind completely blank. She intertwined her fingers with is.

 _KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

"Ruddy hell!" James yelped as they were whipped out of trance. The head boy marched over to the door and ripped it open, "WHAT!?"

"Moony here?"

When the annoyed James turned away from the door and walked back into the staff room, Lily could see that it was Sirius Black standing outside of the door. She turned around and saw that James had taken a seat in a chair behind her, burying his head in his arms.

"I suppose that's a 'no'?" Sirius asked as he swiftly scanned the room for Remus.

Lily sighed, somewhat annoyed with Sirius as well, "No, Sirius. Remus left at the beginning of the meeting. He wasn't feeling that well, as you can imagine."

"What?" Sirius ignored Lily and fixated on the fuming James. "is Prince Potter too good for answering a lowlife as myself?"

Suddenly, something in Lily snapped and she jumped up.

"OI BLACK, DROP IT, WILL YOU!?" she bellowed at the Gryffindor, and the customary grin was wiped off of Sirius' face and replaced with gaping awe, "Get OVER IT, you stupid manchild! James didn't tell you about the stupid badge because he was in shock! And yes, maybe he was afraid of what you might say- But that's ages ago! What's more important here, Sirius, your ego or that Remus is with his best friends!? I just can't imagine that you would ever be so SELFISH!"

Sirius stuttered, "OI! Did you tell her that we were- what the hell, Prongs!?"

"Snape," James' muffled voice commented from behind Lily.

"Should've know," Sirius snarled, his eyes filling with loathe at the thought of old Severus Snape.

"SHUT IT!" Lily screeched and Sirius did as he was commanded, "That is SO beside the point. I can't take this anymore! Let him off the hook. Let James off the freaking hook!"

"HE LIED TO ME!" Sirius roared back, trying to regain control of the short, flipping red-head.

"Oh, that's such BULLSHIT, Black!" Lily cried back, "I think we can agree that everyone here has done some pretty crappy things. Need I remind you of the stunt you pulled with Snape? You idiot nearly got him killed!"

"He's a snivelling weasel!" Sirius yelped in defence, "are you saying it's alright for him to treat me like I treated that slimy toad!?"

Lily exhaled deeply and closed her eyes.

"Just let him off the hook."

She opened her eyes and saw that something in Sirius Black's expression had changed. He calmly gazed at the spot behind her where James was sitting.

"C'mon Prongs," Sirius finally said, nodding towards the hallway.

For a second, Lily was worried that James' silence meant that he wouldn't accept his best friend's unsaid apology. Then-

"I'll meet you down there, Padfoot."

Sirius nodded, let the smallest of grins slip and walked off.

Lily rolled her eyes at the stupidity of boykind.

"Well," she suddenly giggled at her unpredicted outburst, "that worked out rather-"

Suddenly, a pair of hands clasped her waist and spun her around. Lily inhaled sharply, and before she could even suspect what was happening, James Potter's lips were on hers. His scent in her nose made her dizzy in the best possible way and her knees gave way as he ran his hand from her waist up her back. As his lips moved hungrily against hers, she tightly wrapped her arms around his neck. A gasp escaped her mouth when his hands lost themselves in her hair, pulling her even closer, and she opened her mouth for him to deepen the intoxicating kiss. They moved clumsily around the room, lip-locked and knocking against scattered chairs. Finally, they found their way to the heavy wooden table, and James lifted her up with one arm so she was perched on top of it. She leaned back and pulled him on top of her, running her hands through his unruly black hair as his rough lips kissed her neck.

She could have kissed him forever. When they finally pulled apart, lips raw and panting heavily, James looked wild and lost at the same time. His untamed hazel gaze met her emerald eyes as he ran an uncertain hand through his hair. He lowered his face to hers one last time and pressed his stubbly cheek against her smooth one. Lily closed her eyes at his touch.

"Ah shit, I'm so in love with you," he murmured into her ear and pulled away.

Lily bit her lip as the boy left her behind with a full heart and a guilt-stricken face.

* * *

 **A/N: Any oldschool Grey's Anatomy fans out there? XOXO**


	24. Right

**A/N: Dear Readers, as you can anticipate, I'm so very sorry for the long delay. I've started my first job out of college and it's been taking up all of my time. Nevertheless, I hope you will forgive me by reading this chapter. All my love to you!**

* * *

Lily stared at the blank ceiling of her canopy. She blinked. The blazing yellow of the slowly rising sun stung the corner of her right eye, and in an evasive response she rolled onto her left side to avoid the blinding reminder that morning had come.

She rubbed her eyes with numb hands. The truth was that Hogwarts' head girl hadn't been able, though forcefully trying, to shut her eyes for more than a few minutes all night. It was only at four in the morning that she had even shifted from her watchful seat by the window, overlooking the grounds, trying to glimpse shadows in the black of night, and had made way to her soft bed. But as soon as she lay down, and with her the task of keenly watching out into the night sky, her pounding head and dancing heart joined in fretful storm inside the detached shell that was her body, ever since- well, ever since-

" _Kiss_ ," Lily murmured into the softly illuminated space that was her bedchamber. She felt like the walls whispered the treacherous word right back to her and she quickly bit her lip, as if she had shared her secret with the entire castle.

There was no going back now. James Fleamont Potter, intrepid and reckless as he was, had kissed _her_ , the sensible and cautious Lily Jane Evans.

Lily closed her eyes as the sensation of last night's entanglement ran through her body like electricity- what she presumed dying patients that received a shock spell for recitation had to endure.

 _I'm in love with you._

There was no use in denying it – the sensible and cautious good girl of Hogwarts had kissed James Potter right back. Fiercely.

To Lily, a girl with limited experience but a good understanding for overall excellence, the kiss had been mindboggling, life-changing, heart-stomping and above all–

incredibly stupid.

Lily's eyebrows knitted together and she winced. Their actions had in fact been so stupid, that her parents probably would have to engrave it on her tombstone – _Lily J. Evans 1960-1977 – a beloved daughter, sister and friend that almost died in a giant tub at her school, as well as an incredibly, undeniably, and quite apologetically stupid person._

She would have to tell Alexa about the kiss. She might as well hang herself from a Quidditch goal post, but it was the right thing to do. Right? Girl code and such? Morals!? Or maybe it was best just not to say anything. After all, it would only leave Alexa furious and hurt. Who was she to inflict such pain on her? What if Alexa and James had a chance to work things out and she would ruin that by saying something?

Obviously, Lily would have to reiterate the distance she had so carefully sketched between James and her at the start of this school year, to let Alexa and him have their chance at being a couple. It was simply the right thing to do, Lily knew, and frankly, she just loved to do the right thing.

Suddenly rather cheerful and perhaps a tinge lunatic, Lily hopped up from her bed. It was a brilliant plan. She was going to forget that the whole thing had ever happened and then James and Alexa could live happily ever after. So what, if James had told that her he was in love with her, and so what if she was most definitely, undoubtedly head over heels in love with him!? Bygones! They would simply have to get over it.

A chipper Lily nodded to herself encouragingly as she buttoned the blouse of her school uniform and brushed out her hair. On her way down to breakfast, she hummed the Hogwarts anthem and made a mental note to play the catchy tune at the coming Halloween Party as homage to her soon-to-be alma mater. She walked into the buzzing Great Hall, spotted Marlene and Dorcas at their usual spot at the end of the Gryffindor table, and skipped over to where they were sitting.

"Morning ladies!" Lily sang as she sat down in the seat next to Dorcas and grabbed for a cup of steaming tea. She noticed that her friends looked rather crumpled.

"Someone's in a good mood," a slumping Marlene accused the cheerful redhead while resting half of her face on her palm.

Lily grinned at her moody friend as she started buttering a crispy golden toast, "Oh, you must excuse me, I really didn't mean to offend."

"I hate Mondays," Marlene muttered into her own steaming cup of tea.

"How original of you," Dorcas rolled her eyes as she leaned her head on Lily's shoulder. The blonde locks tickled the head girl's nose and she had to sneeze.

"Bless you," Marlene whined and started stroking her own head lovingly.

"Why thank you!" Lily giggled and spotted something familiar flying over the heads of a few tiny Slytherins, "Ooh, Agnetha!"

The large owl gracefully swished down to the Gryffindor table, and as she spread her wings in a yawn Agnetha ungracefully threw over Dorcas' oats.

"Oh don't mind me, I wasn't that hungry anyway," Dorcas muttered in annoyance as she cleaned up her ruined breakfast with a flick and jab of her wand. She grabbed a biscuit to console herself.

"Sorry, Dori," Lily rhymed and smiled apologetically as she untied the slim muggle-style envelope from Agnetha's leg and after she ripped open the seal shared, "whoa, it's from Petunia!"

Marlene snickered, "Another tirade on how she found half her wardrobe in your closet after you left?"

"Surprisingly, no. Although," Lily bit her lip, "that letter might be coming soon. She's going dress-fitting the weekend after next and asked me to join!"

"That sounds horrible," Marlene concluded and shifted her head from one palm to the other.

"Oh, come on," Dorcas disagreed, now pleasantly munching on her biscuit, "That's bound to be fun! I've never even been to a wedding, mind you. I'd really like to see all the pretty white dresses!"

"Yeah, but _Petunia_?" Marlene argued and scrunched her nose like she was detecting dung beetles in a close perimeter.

"Hey!" Lily warned her raven-haired friend and chastised her with a stern look. It was alright for her to make fun of Tuney, but that was about it.

"She called me a fat-nosed monster when I visited!" Marlene exclaimed and to her annoyance, Dorcas broke out in whole-hearted laughter.

"Oh," Lily grinned, as she scribbled back her reply to her sister and attached it to Agnetha's stoic leg, "Right, forgot about that. Tuney can be a real charmer."

"Just like her sister," Marlene breathed into her tea as she patted her own nose affectionately, "Hey, anything interesting happen at the staff meeting yesterday?"

Lily turned bright red and, as Agnetha was making way to fly off to the owlery, exclaimed in a high-pitch, "I think we're going to announce the Halloween Party today."

"Everyone's heard about it already," Dorcas said as she eyed her crimson friend, picking at her biscuit as Lily gulped down her pumpkin juice as distraction, "You know how news travels in Hogwarts. It's as if the portraits were eavesdropping on the students or something."

Lily nodded quickly and rolled her eyes engagingly, all the while still in the motion of emptying her goblet.

Marlene squinted at her and casually mentioned, "Speaking of, did you hear that Potter and Johnson split?"

Pumpkin juice locked in Lily's windpipe.

"QHA-" Lily, mid-gulp, sputtered. The head girl was full on choking, earning a few amused glances from onlookers. Patronized by Marlene's and Dorca's pinning stare, she coughed her heart out into her elbow.

"Morning, ladies," Sirius Black's lazy drawl suddenly greeted the girls and Lily felt someone sit down in the seat next to her. A familiar, intoxicating scent filled her nostrils. The wheezes started anew.

 _I'm in love with you, I'm in love with you, I'm in love with you._

"Are you alright?" Dorcas cooed as she soothingly patted her friend on the back, throwing an implicating glance towards Marlene, who just shrugged and grinned into her tea.

"Blimey Evans, did someone spike your pumpkin juice?" Black joked as tears shot into Lily's eyes and she continued coughing, "I know times are hard, and being head girl and all must be tough, but you should never turn to whiskey. That's meant for happy occasions! Am I right, Prongs?"

"Huh?" James asked absent-mindedly, his eyes darting from his own tea cup to Lily's, as if not daring to raise his eyes an inch more.

"Where's Remus?" Dorcas asked, intuitively trying to orchestrate the conversation away from Lily's coughing, which died down a bit now. The bright red colour across her cheeks did not.

"Out sick," Peter squeaked a bit too quickly and Sirius gave him a warning look. Lily, who's coughs had transformed into even more annoying hiccups, dared to raise her eyes an inch and fell right into James' gaze next to her, who of course had also chosen this exact moment to throw her a casual glance her. His knee moved under the table and now his leg was touching hers-

"GAH!" Lily shot up from the bench, making everyone around her, including James, jump a little, "We have to make an announcement!"

"We do?" Peter asked breathlessly, excited at the possibility of attention.

Lily disentangled herself from the wooden bench, trying with all her might not to use James' shoulder for support an nearly falling over in the process, "Um- _hick_ – well, we have to – _hick-_ tell everyone about – _hick_ \- the Halloween _– hick_ -"

"You want to announce the party now?" James translated as he looked up at her, brows furrowed and his gaze impossible for Lily to read. She hoped that he got from her actions that she was in no way interested in him whatsoever. Because by Merlin's beard she wasn't! But now that Alexa and him were broken up, what did that mean for girl code? What was the right thing to do!? Her head was spinning.

"By the way, Evans, I still need to talk to you about something," the head boy had the nerve to say in front of their friends.

 _Hick_ \- "No," Lily hissed back and stormed off towards the staff table. James dutifully trotted after the head girl as she pointed her wand at her throat and hiccupped, " _Sonorous._ "

"GOOD – _hick –_ MOR – _hick-_ NING – _hick- EV - hick-_ ERYONE," Lily's strained voice boomed across the Great Hall, "WE WA - _hick-_ NTED T _\- hick-_ O ANNOUNCE THE _\- hick-_ IS THE HICKING GETTING BET- _hick-_ ER? _hick-_ OH NEVERM- _hick-_ IND, WE WANT - _hick-_ ED TO ANNOUNCE A HAL- _hick-_ LO- _hick-_ WEE - _hick-_ N P - _hick-_ ART - _hick-_ Y."

The entire student body looked up at the struggling head girl, bewildered as they hadn't understood a single word she had stuttered in echoing squeaks.

" _Sonorous_ ," James murmured, pointing his wand at his own throat now, "SORRY ABOUT THAT, EVANS HERE IS EXPERIENCING A MINOR ADMINISTRATIVE SETBACK." The crowd giggled and Lily shot her counterpart a dark look as she tried to hick into her hair as silently as she could muster.

"WE'VE COME TO INTERRUPT YOUR LIKELY INTOXICATING MORNING OATS TO ANNOUNCE A PARTY," James' voice boomed, and excited whispers erupted all across the Great Hall, as the head boy confirmed what they all already knew, "A HALLOWEEN PARTY, TO BE EXACT. IN THE SPIRIT OF MUGGLE MONDAYS, WE ASK YOU TO COME IN TRADITIONAL MUGGLE COSTUMES; I DON'T WANT TO SEE A SINGLE SET OF STUFFY DRESS ROBES, IS THAT CLEAR? FAVOURITE TUNES CAN BE SUGGESTED TO THE MUSIC COMMITTEE, BUT WE MAKE NO PROMISES."

McGonagall gave Potter a stern glance and Dumbledore smiled, clearly amused. The Great Hall buzzed like an angry swarm of doxies, as the students couldn't be bothered with whispering anymore, but instead shouted costume ideas across house tables. Lily hiccupped and gazed at James, who in response winked at her with his winning smile.

"AS IS WIZARD TRADITION, YOU MAY BRING A DATE," James went on and now the crowd went wild. Hufflepuffs were storming over to the Ravenclaw table. One second year even went down on one knee before his betrothed.

"OH RIGHT, I ALMOST FORGOT," James yelled through the thick wall of noise, "ATTENDANCE ONLY FOR FOURTH YEARS AND UP."

The previously cheerful buzz mixed with angry snarls directed at the head boy and girl. The kneeling second year Hufflepuff turned a shade of green as he became aware of the prematurity of his rejected proposal.

James ended the amplifying charm with a flick of his wand, lowered his head so that his mouth reached Lily's ear and murmured, "Got a date yet, Evans?"

" _Hick."_

* * *

Lily Evans clutched her books to her chest and raced off to their first class, her thick auburn hair flowing behind her. The hick-ups had passed, but her insanity hadn't. Marlene and Dorcas failed to catch up with her as she stormed up the second flight of stairs, determined to reach her Charms class before anyone else did. She would do anything to avoid Potter for the rest of the year. She was embarrassed and sick to her stomach with guilt. Yes, the fluttering in her centre was definitely due to guilt. And disgust perhaps! Yes, disgust with own her actions and the repulsiveness of Potter himself- that was all.

Lily was so preoccupied with trying to make herself gag in reflex of the memory from last night rather than her cheeks flushing, that she only noticed that she had made her destination when she already stood inside the classroom, panting.

"Quite early today, Ms. Evans," Prof. Flitwick squeaked from behind his large wooden desk. The professor's forehead and wispy grey hair just barely peaked out from behind it.

"Oh! Professor, hi, didn't see you- I mean, um, I was preoccupied," the confuzzled Gryffindor mumbled apologetically. As most short men, the professor didn't appreciate any mentioning of his height.

"Ah, Mr. Potter, joining us early as well? It must be a lucky day for charms," the professor giggled in a high squeak and the head girl whipped around. Sure enough, Potter had silently trotted through the classroom door behind her and now casually leaned against the frame of the door.

"Professor Flitwick," he nodded at the short teacher before directing his attention to Lily, "Evans, could I have a word?" He tilted his head in a motion that was to indicate they speak outside.

But Lily wouldn't have it, "Actually, _Potter_ , I'm quite busy." She began vigorously unpacking supplies from her school bag in generous motions to signal her unavailability.

"With unpacking tampons?" He gestured at the load of female hygiene products she was currently unloading upon her desk. A flush shot into Lily's face, and she quickly grabbed at the items at alarming pace, but instead of securing the products, her shaking hands dispersed them into all directions and unto the floor.

The head boy quickly knelt to help the frantic head girl scoop the objects back up.

"These are shiny! Did you charm them?" Flitwick suddenly squeaked and, to Lily's horror, he had picked a single treacherous tampon up with his tiny hands and held it to the light. The head girl jumped up and grabbed it from him.

"NO! Sorry, I mean- err, yes, just something I'm experimenting with, Professor," Lily smiled a cheshiresque smile at the confused little man, "I'll show you when it's ready. Definitely not today though!"

Potter snorted at her misery and even dared to speak, "Um, Evans, you do realize that there are- err- witch-specific alternatives to these?"

Lily snapped for air at the audacity of his comment and when she turned to face him, rage filled her from top to bottom at the sight of his stupid, lopsided grin.

"Not that it's any of _your_ business, Potter, but there's no muggle or witch distinction for flow control, you idiot," she shot at him and muttered something about 'personal preference' as his grin only grew wider, making her furious, "Shut your face, Potter!"

Flitwick tried to mediate, "Now now, Ms. Evans, there's no need to-"

"We still need to talk, Evans," an unashamedly amused Potter interrupted his Charms professor.

"No, we don't!" Lily snapped back, throwing her long hair over her shoulder as she unpacked her actual school supplies.

"Actually, we do," James countered, "I've got an issue-"

" _Stop_!" she yelped at him, afraid he would say too much in front of Flitwick and breathlessly added, "I've got nothing to say."

The other students started piling into the bright classroom and Lily feared that they could see her sins written across her forehead. For her next attempt at avoiding people, she'd better make sure to be the _last_ one in class, not the first. Rookie mistakes, Evans! Potter better shut up now.

"Well, I'm not asking you to say anything, Evans," James retorted, apparently oblivious of their potential audience, "I just wanted to quickly talk about-"

Lily held up a warning hand and hissed, "I'm not talking with you about _that_."

James' eyes smiled almost unnoticeably behind his glasses and he raised an eyebrow, "Talk about what exactly, Evans?"

"Oh, you're already here!" Dorcas interrupted them as she and Marlene joined them, "we were searching in every bathroom, I swear to you- whoa, what did we just walk into?"

The iciness exuding from their redheaded friend did not go unnoticed.

"Seems like Evans doesn't want to talk to me," James smirked down at her.

"Smart girl," Sirius barked, who had entered the classroom with Peter, and ruffled James' hair almost unusually affectionately for the two, "What's this, Prongsie? A standing ovation for my looks? And I keep telling my mother that my success can't be measured-"

"And that's all I needed for my daily reminder for why I hate everyone," Marlene commented monotonously and dragged Dorcas and Lily off to their familiar seats by the beautifully arched windows of the charms classroom.

* * *

For the rest of the day, Potter kept trying to engage in conversation with Lily, but she avoided a confrontation at all costs, diving into bathrooms instinctively, even when it meant being held hostage by sodding Peeves for a full twenty minutes before she could step out again.

After their last class, a never-ending potions lecture on Draught of the Living Dead, Marlene finally noticed that something was up.

"After that snooze fest, I felt like knocking back a Draught of the Living Dead or two, if you ask me," the sharp-tongued Gryffindor snickered, but Lily's lack of co-bantering hinted that she wasn't even listening her best friend, "Erm, Lily?"

"What?" the redhead said absentmindedly, quickly glancing around the hallway, "Yes, Slughorn asked for 13 inches on the applications and limits for next Tuesday."

Marlene raised an eyebrow, "Lily, what's going on? Are you alright?"

The head girl looked up at her friend in distraught, "Huh? Oh yes, peachy! I'm just-"

"Evans!" a familiar voice yelled and her heart sank as the head boy's head popped up in the crowd. He jogged towards them and Lily's instincts told her to run in the opposite direction.

"I need to leave," Lily said sweetly to Marlene before she turned on her heal, but Marlene caught her at the wrist.

"No, I'm serious, Marls. I've got to go _now_!" she exclaimed, her eyes wide like a deer in headlights, pulling her hands away.

But it was too late. Potter had already caught up with them. The head girl resorted to looking up at the ceiling to avoid the eyes that took her right back to the one thing she was trying hardest to forget.

"Evans, a word?" she heard the head boy's voice suggest close to her left.

" _NO_!" she reacted rashly, jerking her head away into the opposite direction and Marlene raised her brows at Lily's childish behaviour, "Um, I mean, maybe later Potter. I'm really busy right now, you know, setting up Muggle Movie Night. Bye!"

James gripped her by the shoulder before she could storm off in good old Lily-fashion, "Right, well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Um," Lily was taken aback and turned to face him, "What?"

 _Gah, big mistake. Why does he have to look at me like that!? Knees, I command you to stop shaking!_

"What I've been trying to tell you all day, Evans," James said slowly, as if to a Hufflepuff, "I've decided to add an extra training session, since our big game is coming up this Saturday."

"Game," Lily repeated stupidly and Marlene nodded at her encouragingly, "Right. When?"

"This Saturday?" James reiterated uncertainly, perhaps a bit worried about this fresh wave of brainlessness exuding from the usually so bright head girl.

"No," Lily tutted and rolled her eyes, "The training session, Potter."

"Oh!" he replied, running a hand through his unruly hair and Lily focused on a spot next to his head to steady her knees, "Right. Tonight."

Lily blinked, "Huh?"

"At seven," the head boy added brightly.

The wheels in Lily's head finally started to turn.

"Muggle Monday is at seven," she croaked, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

 _That move works_ so _much better with a high pony tail. Why did I decide to wear it down!? "I like your hair like this." GAH! Stop it brain, stop it!_

"Yes, right, which is why I wanted to speak to you," Potter said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, his eyes following her closely.

Lily felt something start in the pit of her stomach, "Wait - and you're telling me this _now_?"

"Err-," he looked at her as if he was waiting for her to unveil the joke – she didn't, "You're kidding, right, Evans?"

"Why would I be kidding, _Potter_?" Lily snapped back, "The Movie Night is supposed to start in less than two hours. You didn't think it would be wise to inform me of this kind of massive change in plan a bit earlier, let's say, huh, I don't know, NOT two hours beforehand!?"

James frowned and countered "What do you think I've been trying to tell you all bleeding day, Evans?"

He remained calm. Calm, in contrast to Lily.

"Oh, you're trying so hard all day!?" she yelled at him and a worried-looking Marlene took half a step back from the bickering pair, "How about last week, Potter? Or better yet, last month, when we were planning this stupid evening? Didn't care to tell me that you would just drop me- I mean Movie Night!- like a friggin' hot potato as soon as it became an inconvenience to you?"

Potter was getting annoyed with her, raising his voice a bit to Lily's satisfaction, "What do you want me to say, Evans? We've got a bloody game on Saturday."

"Who cares!?" Lily snapped back at him and flipped her wavy hair over her shoulder again. She was getting better at it and he watched her with fire behind his eyes.

"Now now, Lily," Marlene tried to interfere, but it was all too late now.

"How about the whole damn school, Evans?!" James shot back at the fuming head girl, "I know it's tough to hear, but in a fight between a sodding ancient black and white movie and Quidditch, Quidditch _always_ wins."

"Fuck Quidditch!" Lily growled back in spite.

"Whoa," Marlene gulped and stepped forward to place herself between the pair as a human shield.

James squinted past Marlene and down at the enraged redhead in front of him to softly assert, "Don't make this about something that it's not, Evans."

With that, he turned on his heel, marched away and called, "Let's go, McKinnon!" over his shoulder.

Lily was left standing there, mouth agape.

An oblivious Marlene gave Lily a shrug and an apologetic smile before she trotted after her captain.

The head girl's head spun out of focus and she helplessly stood there, paralyzed, now that her initial anger died down.

"I'M NOT!" Lily suddenly shouted, but the heavy castle doors had already swung back shut behind the two tall Gryffindor Quidditch players, and she was left amongst a few curious third years that must've been under the impression that she'd gone completely bonkers. Lily groaned. Hadn't she?

It was safe to say that Muggle Monday way a disaster. Lily couldn't focus and her hands shook so fiercely that it resulted in the projector eating _Casablanca_ for dinner. She couldn't even muster to soothe young Elise when she came to her, worried about an empty Slytherin threat about her muggle status. To top it all off, McGonagall came to speak to her about the importance of next Saturday's game and that she had encouraged another training session for team herself.

That night in her bed, Lily spent another sleepless night cursing James Potter. Only this time, she really did find him repulsive. A bit, anyway.

* * *

The rest of the week she tried her best to avoid Potter, as had been her initial plan. This proved difficult. For one, they shared most classes, and furthermore, as much as she believed that she was entirely over the kiss, her head, heart and body disagreed massively. Every time she saw Sirius and James snicker in a corner she couldn't help but stare at his smile, her heart leapt at his boyish laugh and she had to resist the urge to get up and walk across the classroom to run her fingers through his unruly hair, like she had done so passionately that night.

 _Damnit._

On top of that, she still felt extremely guilty whenever she saw Alexa and her bloodshot eyes pace through the halls with her gang of Ravenclaw girlfriends. Rumour had it that James had broken up with her to mess with her psyche for the benefit of the game. The dominating feeling of guilt inside of Lily paired nicely with the fiery jealousy that pierced through her whenever James dared to speak to another female. Ever since the breakup was public knowledge, girls were basically falling over in front of him to bask in his attention for a few minutes. It was torture.

On Wednesday during breakfast, the outrageousness reached its peak. To Lily's annoyance, James had taken a seat next to her once again, ignoring her protesting frown, and she did her best to engage in scattered conversation with Peter to the other side of her, on the enticing topic of marmalade. After a while (they had covered flavours strawberry, peach and cherry), she gave up and just sipped her tea in silence, staring at the basket of rolls in front of her.

"Um, James?" a girlish voice, that Lily believed must have belonged to a very young student, half-whispered somewhere behind her.

At first, Lily just figured it was a starry-eyed second year wanting to ask for an autograph from Hogwarts' star Quidditch player (to her annoyance, this happened all the time). Lily glanced in James' direction, who apparently hadn't even heard his fan, since he absentmindedly took another huge bite from his toast.

The girl behind them coughed almost inaudibly.

"James?" she tried again. Still nothing from the peacefully munching head boy. Lily rolled her eyes and poked him in the side with her fork.

"OW!" he yelped and let his toast fall onto his plate, "What was that for, Evans? Don't tell me you're finally ready to bury the bloody hatchet?"

"You've got a visitor, Potter," she motioned her fork to the slim female standing behind him.

"What?" he asked, rubbing his side where she had skewered him, not wasting the chance to pout.

"Hi James," the girl said again, and the head boy finally turned around while Lily focused back on her tea, pretending not to care, nor eavesdrop.

"Oh, erm, hey Gwin," James said, smiling kindly.

Lily froze. The reflection in her teacup confirmed that behind her, talking to James, stood in fact her mousy seventh-year housemate Gwinerva Vane. Lily looked up and was met with Dorcas' and Marlene's mirrored irritated glances.

"Yes, hi," Gwinerva repeated breathlessly, "Um, so, well."

"Yea?" James encouraged her in a nice enough manner. Lily focused her whole body on not turning around and instead stared at Marlene's eyebrows that were rising higher and higher.

Peter and Sirius were munching away on their toasts mindlessly.

"Could I ask you a question?" Gwinerva rambled nervously in her girlish voice.

"Erm, sure," James scratched his chin, "Was that your question?"

"What?" Gwinerva was momentarily taken aback, "Oh! Because- oh! Hahahahahahaha."

The mousy Gryffindor laughed loudly. Lily had never heard her voice at that volume before. Had she even seen Gwin speak to James before, _ever_? She couldn't recall.

The eruption of Gwin's awkward sporadic giggles even caught Sirius' attention, who set his black coffee down to watch the scene unfold, his fingers crossed in front of his chin, as if witnessing a broom crash in slow-motion.

Out of the corner of her eye, Lily saw that James grinned as Gwinerva laughed at his joke, pleased with himself, the idiot.

"So what did you want to ask, Gwin?" the head boy rephrased kindly, as he turned further around, his right leg blatantly pressing up on Lily's left leg. She didn't move hers away.

"Well," Gwin said, still giggling a bit, but calming down now, "I was wondering if you had a date to the Halloween Party?"

Lily sharply drew in air. Marlene's mouth fell open. Dorcas dropped her teaspoon onto her plate with a loud clank.

Sirius only grinned and picked his coffee cup back up, as if all was right in the world.

James was the only one who didn't get it.

"Well, we've been so busy planning the damn thing, haven't we Evans?" he playfully shoved her in the side, and Lily turned and quickly smiled at Gwin, who pouted a bit as James tried to include Lily in their conversation.

"Yup," Lily quickly nodded and turned back around.

Gwin seemed relieved that the head girl had done her a solid and disengaged from her and James' conversation, "Um, so that's a no?"

"Nope!" James said cheerfully, "Why, d'you know someone special?"

Lily pressed her lips together. Marlene closed her eyes. Dorcas dropped her spoon again.

Sirius grinned widely.

James didn't catch on.

"Well," Gwinerva gurgled awkwardly, "I was- um, so I – Ja- um, would you like to go the Halloween Party with me?"

"OH! Oh," James fake-coughed. Lily watched the wheels turn behind the head boy's spectacles.

Now he got it.

"Ohhh," he backpaddled like a git, "Gwin! Oh oh oh. Yes. Ummm… _so_ nice of you. Yes! So nice of you."

"Um, what?" Gwinerva asked uncertainly and Sirius suppressed a bark to a cough.

"Well you know," James ran a hand through his hair, "since I'm heartbroken and everything."

"Heartbroken?" Gwin was confused and Lily raised her eyebrows.

"I mean the breakup is so fresh," James nodded, "Only just happened. I've gotta tell you, and I know I can trust you with this Gwin, because you're a trustworthy person you know, but- It's been tough."

"Tough," Gwin nodded, then frowned, "But… I thought you broke up with Alexa?"

James cleared his throat loudly, "Did I? Oh, I'm not so sure that's true. Is that what they're saying? Well, misinformed is what the crowds are!"

"Oh?" Gwin muttered, obviously disappointed, glancing over to the end of the Gryffindor table where Preena was sitting and gleefully witnessing the scene for herself.

James nodded quickly and added strained, with a hand to his heart, "It still hurts so much."

 _The bastard._

"He cries at night," Sirius added, a big fat grin plastered on his face. James shot him a warning look, but the dog didn't mind it one bit.

"Oh," Gwin nodded, stepping awkwardly from one foot to another, "Well, I'm sorry."

"Yeah," James said shakily and gulped as if he was suppressing tears, "So again, thanks so much for thinking of me. You're just such a nice person. But even thinking of dancing with someone else makes me feel, I don't know what else to say here Gwin, but I feel _lost_."

Black dug his face into Dorcas' neck to hide his uncontrolled bark-giggles.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, James," Gwin patted him on the shoulder. The head boy squeezed her hand and handed it back to her.

"Thanks, Gwin," he whimpered and gave a last wounded smile.

"Um, okay… so see you at class, James," the mousy Gryffindor said fleetingly and rapidly scurried out of the Great Hall, shoving Preena a bit with her book bag as she passed her.

Marlene shook her head disbelievingly, "Uhh, what did I just see?"

"Burn my eyes," Dorcas said in shock, her spoon abandoned on her plate.

"I wish we brought a camera to breakfast more often," Peter laughed, "Moony will be so pissed he missed this."

Marlene was still in awe, "Potter, did you not only turn down a girl without a single unkind word spoken, but get her to apologize for asking you out in the first place?"

Black didn't even bother wiping away his tears anymore and held up both of his hands in praise, "Teach me, master! Prongsie can't even get three days in after a relationship without the crows circling for leftovers."

"What can I say, it's been hard," James told Marlene innocently, before breaking out into a grin and high-fiving Peter and Sirius.

"Pig," Dorcas called him out and threw a roll at him, which he caught easily, but she couldn't help grinning a bit as she patted away the spot where Black had wiped away his tears of laughter on her neck.

Lily simply stood up and left for class.

"Oh, c'mon Evans!" James called after her, but she kept walking.

How could she even consider being into such an arrogant, bullying toad!? She bit her lip to inhibit the grin that was creeping up on her cheeks.

* * *

"Today's class will be all about Patronuses," Prof. Wilfred announced.

"Sir," Sirius snapped his fingers without waiting to be called on, "Isn't it Patroni?"

"Depends," James chimed in, chewing on his quill.

"On what?" Sirius said before Prof. Wilfred could get a word in, "It's a classic Latin o-declination. Ends on 'i'"

"No," James shook his head, "Could be the u-declination. Then it stays 'patronus'."

"Patronata," Peter squeaked.

"I miss Remus," Dorcas muttered.

"Either way, 'patronuses' is just butchering the Latin language," Sirius demanded from his best friend.

"Patronuses," James chuckled to confirm.

"You lot are patronzing," Marlene huffed underneath her breath.

"So, can anyone tell me what –err- what was the correct term now, Potter? Patronata?"

"Correct, sir," James grinned, "Unless you're referring to many baby patronata, that would be patronissimos, stemming from the ancient greek work patronimo."

Sirius barked in confirmation and dug his face into his hands.

"Um," Prof. Wilfred gulped, trying to memorize all the particularities of the ancient terminology, "Right. Thank you, Potter."

James caught Lily's eye and she couldn't help but grin back at his wicked smile. She cursed herself. Why did his hair have to stick up in that unreasonably cute manner!?

"Ms. Evans?" Prof. Wilfred called on her. _Damnit_.

She had missed the first half of his sentence because she had been ogling Potter. The idiot seemed aware of this, since his grin grew even wider and he wriggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Apologies, Prof. Wilfred," Lily said quickly, smiling up at her teacher to give him her full attention. His stern face softened under her charms, "What was your question?"

"I was asking for a definition," Prof. Wilfred repeated kindly.

"Of?" Lily blinked at Wilfred's expectant features, "Oh! Right. A Patronus is a spirit guardian. It is the primary protection against Dementors and Lethifolds, against which there are no other defence. The Patronus Charm evokes the partially-tangible positive energy force that takes form in a Patronus."

"Excellent, Ms. Evans!" Prof. Wilfred exclaimed proudly, "Ten points to Gryffindor. Oh, let's make it fifteen for a definition that exceeds textbook expectations! Truly, well done."

Out of the corner of her eyes, Lily could make out Marlene sticking out her tongue. She grinned, pleased with herself.

Prof. Wilfred continued with explaining the intricacies of the charm and paired them into groups of two to practice. To Lily's annoyance, she was paired together with the insufferable Ravenclaw gossip and Alexa-confidante Amber Hough.

"Hello, head girl," Amber chirped sweetly and Lily did her best to give her a pleasant smile. Next to them, Alexa and Wilhelmina started practicing, as silvery vapour slowly filled the entire classroom.

 _Brilliant way to fall into the shark tank, Lils._

"So, have you managed a full transformation yet, Amber?" Lily tried to make conversation.

"Nope, not yet!" Amber said cheerfully, making moves with her wand that resembled nothing of what they had done with the Order of Phoenix, nor of what Wilfred had just shown them, "You?"

"Me either," Lily responded, while producing thick silver vapour with her wand herself. Their Phoenix sessions had not be fruitless after all.

"Well, yours looks much more promising than mine!" Amber giggled. Lily was always in awe of how Amber could be such a snake behind peoples' backs while she was so lovely face-to-face. Wasn't such emotional deception strenuous on the heart at all?

"Well, I think I've got the practical part down," Lily said absentmindedly, biting her lip, "But the whole 'strong memory' thing is the difficult bit."

"Well, what's the happiest moment in our head girl's life?" Amber tutted suggestively, "Wouldn't the whole school like to know?"

"Hah," Lily smiled, "That's just between the Giant Squid and me."

"Oh, come on," Amber teased, "I bet you have the most exciting love life at Hogwarts!"

Lily felt her cheeks flush as Alexa glanced over to them, "Haha, good one, Amber. I see you and my owl have the same type of humour."

Amber squinted at Lily and taunted, "I bet you're such a tease! It's always the quiet, bookish ones that have the wildest sex."

Lily turned around, but Prof. Wilfred was sharing a frustrating moment with Peter at the other end of the noisy room. Alexa and Wilhelmina and a few other pairs along with the alert-looking Marlene and Dorcas were, however, obviously listening in on their conversation.

"Shh, Amber, that's so inappropriate," she tried to shut the Ravenclaw up.

"Whatever," Amber laughed and winked at her, "You can keep all the secrets you want, head girl, but you know romance is supposedly the best catalyst for the Patronus charm."

Lily rolled her eyes. When she refocused, her eyes landed on James, who had once again produced a perfect silvery stag that was chasing a massive furry dog across the room. He laughed loudly as Sirius and he carelessly played swordfight with her wands.

Just like that, she was back in the prefect's staff room. She was back on the heavy wooden table. She was back with him. And somehow, her heart connected with her wand.

" _Expecto patronum!"_ she spoke firmly into the vapour.

A silvery doe burst from the tip of her wand. The delicate Patronus was beautiful and pure, and nothing like Lily had ever seen. The animal galloped through the room and came back to her, licking her palm.

"Oh Merlin, _Alexa_!" Amber suddenly screeched. Lily's head whipped up in time to witness the three Ravenclaw girls surrounding her gaping at the silvery doe that was her Patronus. Suddenly, it dawned on her. Just as the doe spotted the stag and made to hop towards him, Lily flicked her wand and the silvery animal disappeared into nothingness. Her heart sank into her stomach. Thanks to the thick vapour that filled the room, not a lot of people seemed to have noticed what had just occurred.

Alexa, however, whipped around and stormed out of the classroom door. Lily, unable to think, ran after her.

* * *

Her ears rung as she jogged through the empty halls of Hogwarts, but the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain was so much faster than she was. Behind her, she could make out more pairs of footsteps.

"Lily!" she heard, as her left side started to sting, "Lily, wait!"

As the voice finally reached her brain, she realized who it was and halted, leaning breathlessly against a dusty wooden door, to let her two best friends catch up with her.

"Lily, why on Earth are you running like this!?" Dorcas panted, holding her side while Marlene breathed easily. They looked concerned.

"EVANS?" someone shouted somewhere down the corridor and she knew exactly who it was.

"In here!" Lily gasped and opened the door behind her. It was a tiny broom closet, only lit through a few rays of light that escaped through cracks in the wooden door. She listened attentively and held both her hands over her friends' mouths as loud steps came to a halt in front of the closet, and then vanished back into another direction. Lily breathed out and moved her hands back so that her friends could enjoy the stuffy closet air as well.

"What in the world is wrong with you, Lily Jane Evans!" Marlene ranted after her nose was her own again.

Lily bit her lip - the culprit, the scene of crime, her nouveau arch nemesis.

Marlene urged her on, "Well go on, let it out!"

She fumbled at the hem of her skirt.

"Lily, what is it!?" Dorcas exclaimed, freaked out by her formerly sane mate, "Why are you running after Alexa?"

"We kissed," Lily whispered and closed her eyes to shield herself from a storm of judgment.

"Say what now?" Marlene's voice erupted in amusement, "You kissed Alexa? Never in a million years did expect that revelation."

Lily pressed her hands on her eyes and sounded a muffled, "No."

"Well then... whom!?" Marlene desperately wanted to know, violently shaking the redhead by the shoulders.

"We know _who_ ," Dorcas said quietly, pulling Lily's hands from her face and swatting Marlene away.

Marlene gave a _pff_ sound, "Oh come on, it's not like that would ever-"

"Lily, tell the truth," Dorcas demanded from her friend, and Lily's eyes filled with tears at her accusatory tone.

"She did not kiss Potter," Marlene kept insisting, "That's complete bonkers, Meadowes, even for you. Now can we get out of here?"

She fumbled for the door in the half-darkness.

Dorcas pulled her back and argued, "What do you know, maybe _he_ kissed _her_."

Marlene huffed, "Yes, and maybe she kissed Peeves or the giant squid, or who the hell knows. You know, maybe it was just Elliott from Transfiguration class."

Lily blinked through the darkness and swallowed hard, only to bravely repeat, "We kissed."

"Erm, you and Elliott kissed?" Marlene was stunned for a second before cheerfully adding, "Uh, good going then! I mean, his pimples are getting less by the month."

"Marlene!" Dorcas hissed and shoved the black-haired Gryffindor into a few brooms.

"Oof! What!? It's true! They're still repugnant, but less in quantity," Marlene argued, trying to sound positive.

Dorcas focused her attention back on the head girl, "Lily, who did you kiss?"

In response, the redhead opened and closed her mouth like a fish underwater.

"Oh, Lily," Dorcas stroked her silent friend's hair out of her face, "Did you and James kiss?"

She closed her eyes again- and nodded into the darkness.

"HAH!" Marlene erupted with something that sounded like a mixture of utter surprise and pride as she engulfed Lily in a strangling hug.

"Wow," Dorcas breathed, quite dumbfounded.

"Yup," Lily agreed monotonously and blinked as she was being passively strangled by Marlene's hug.

"You _snogged_ Potter!" Marlene ecstatically shouted at the top of her lungs and Dorcas shoved her to be quiet, "What!? She _did_!"

"Lily, he's with someone," Dorcas said softly, trying her best not to sound judgmental.

"Not anymore!" Marlene giggled, but Lily's mid-range tensed with shame at Dorcas' words.

"I know," she whispered and blinked, "I feel so awful."

"Oh come on," Marlene fired back, "what's there to feel awful about? They had a dead relationship."

Lily shook her head, "That doesn't make it fair. Or right."

Marlene patted her head lovingly, "Well, did it feel right?"

Lily knew that that was no indicator for whether something was actually okay.

Dorcas saved her from answering, "How exactly did Alexa-"

"Patronus," Lily mumbled, "Doe."

"Oh," Marlene nodded, "Yup, if I was dating a bloke and he had matching Patronuses – wait, Patroni? Oh these arseholes drive me insane! – well, a similar Patronus to another bird, I'd be catching on too."

"Well, at least no one really saw," Dorcas comforted Lily, "The room was way too milky with vapour too see anything much, really."

Lily huffed, "Then how did _he_ know?"

Marlene grinned, "Oh, no worries there. Some Ravenclaw bloke just called out 'Potter, your ex just ran out of the classroom crying and the headgirl's after her' and he got his cue that he might want to go check that out."

Lily exhaled loudly, "Okay. Okay that's good."

The last thing she wanted now was to have some deer/doe discussion. She didn't even get it herself. It was all just coincidence, right?

"Knowing the school, though," Marlene added, "soon everybody will be making up something anyhow."

"That's fine," Lily waved off and gave a small smile.

"Sweety, if finally something happened between you two," Dorcas said softly, "Then why are you avoiding him?"

"Unless she's picking a fight," Marlene commented.

Lily pressed her lips together, "Because what we did was wrong. You saw Alexa! And, and – well it would just be – I can't quite – he doesn't understand – everyone will think – Oh damnit, I'm a seventeen-year-old girl, okay, that's why!"

"Got it," Marlene winked at her and Dorcas laughed, "Hormones galore."

"Lily," Dorcas hugged her, "One step at a time. Remember, you don't have to decide everything right away. You don't have to fit into anyone else's scheme. Just do what feels right for you. One step at a time. Just try it."

"One step at a time?" Lily breathed in deeply, still looking quite worried.

Dorcas nudged her in the side, "You know what you have to do."

Lily nodded, pressed her hands to her hot face and made to open the door.

* * *

She entered the girls' bathroom, dreading what she'd find.

"Alexa," she called softly to the only closed bathroom stall door.

"Go away," the usually so put-together Ravenclaw sniffed fiercely.

"I won't," Lily responded soothingly, but firmly, "Please, Alexa, come out of there."

The minutes passed and the bathroom echoed with the repetitive sound of water lazily dripping from a broken water faucet into a stained sink, mixing together with Alexa's irregular sniffs. After Lily had almost given up and taken her forehead from the closed stall door to retreat back to Defence Against the Dark Arts class after all, the lock clicked.

She had never seen Alexa so pale. Lily squirmed inwardly, knowing that she had caused the Ravenclaw prefect this pain. How could words ever fix what she had broken?

"There's nothing you can say to make it better," Alexa muttered, as if she could read the head girl's mind.

"I know," Lily murmured as Alexa went over to the sink to wet her face with cool running water.

Alexa ignored her and went on, "I can't believe that I trusted him when he said that he would never go for you again."

A sting raced through Lily's heart, even though she knew full well that it wasn't her place to feel hurt right now.

"He didn't," Lily quickly lied, looking down at her hands.

"You're only saying that," Alexa dismissed her and Lily couldn't help but cringe inwardly at the words that rung true. Was she wrong?

Suddenly, Alexa turned around and looked at her intensely.

"Do you love him?" she demanded.

"I-," Lily's mouth opened and closed.

She looked at her feet and stuttered, "I- didn't know."

Alexa gazed at her for a while before she finally muttered, "Well then at least do me a favour and don't screw it up, will you?"

Lily was sure she hadn't heard right, but the tall Quidditch player pinned her with her beautiful dark eyes and continued, "Stop messing with him. He's a good one."

With that, she left the head girl to contemplate her words and stalked, head held high, towards the direction of the door.

Just when Lily thought how wrong she was about Alexa, and how gracious the Quidditch player truly was, Alexa turned around one last time.

"Your kids would be so ugly. That red hair, with hazel eyes and glasses? Think about it," she informed Lily, and shut the door to the bathroom door with a loud bang.

"Yup," Lily murmured to herself as she contemplated her long auburn hair in the bathroom mirror, "Deserved that one."

* * *

By the end of classes on Friday, Lily was beat. Moony had returned from his 'leave of absence' and he, Sirius and Peter had joined Lily and Dorcas for dinner at the Gryffindor table.

"I need a drink," Lily moaned, shoving her potatoes from one side of her plate to the other.

"Now we're talking!" Sirius said, instantly bright-eyed and in his element.

"No," Dorcas shook her head, "No more self-made "Black" label in the boy's dormitory."

"Whoa, when has this been going on!?" Lily wanted to know immediately, crossing her arms in front of her chest indignantly.

"Um," Dorcas grinned sheepishly, "You're on patrols a lot. And studying and stuff."

Lily pouted.

"Oh, come on Evans, we didn't mean to exclude you," Sirius tried to cheer her up, "You must've figured that moving to a fancy new suite would have consequences for your social calendar."

"We'll make it up to you," Remus grinned, obviously having recuperated from his monthly torture quite nicely, "Swear!"

Lily gaped at him, "You've been in on this, Mr. Prefect!? What about your patrols?"

"Multi-tasking," Remus grinned, cheerfully popping a carrot in his mouth.

"Speaking of making it up to you," Sirius interrupted in a suggestive tone before Lily could call Remus on all of his many failures, "how about tonight?"

"Tonight?" Peter asked incredulously, "But Prongs is at practice until late!"

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Yes, Wormy. But only because you fly under the Potter flag again, that doesn't mean we all have to abide by his itinerary. Especially when it's about getting old Lilykins a drink! Better if Prongs doesn't witness it, you know. He bought your whole 'white flower' act."

Lily rolled her eyes, "Thanks, Black. Ever considered that it might not be an act after all?"

"Hm," Black tapped his chin, "Don't know. Why don't I go and ask Amber Hough?"

"Alright!" Dorcas interrupted before Lily could pounce on the barking Gryffindor boy, and clapped her hands together, "What's the plan, great and mischievous Marauders?"

"Easy," Remus grinned, delighted for the distraction from his piling homework.

"Effortless," Wormy agreed slyly, though not as keen at the prospect of going anywhere without his saviour Prongs.

Lily and Dorcas looked at each other and then at the Marauders, who wouldn't give another hint as to what they had planned or where they would lead them.

Lily finally gave in and asked a simple, "Huh?"

Sirius smirked at the two Gryffindor girls, "Well, loves. The plan is simple. We break out."

Dorcas threw her locks over her shoulder and giggled nervously, "Are you lot sure?"

"Positive," Peter said excitedly, tapping his fingers on the wooden house table.

"We'll use the third-floor tunnel," Remus nodded mischievously.

Lily shook her head vigorously and whispered, "I can't do that."

"Oh," Sirius grinned, "But you can."

* * *

Lily had agreed to meet the others in front of the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom at eleven, why ever they had chosen that exact spot. As far as she knew, the only way out of the castle was through the front door.

She walked the halls of Hogwarts with her wand held high to illuminate the third floor. If she ran into someone, she could always say that she was on rounds. On a Friday night. In bell-bottom jeans and a cute top (a green blouse that matched her eyes, a gift her mother had given her for her last birthday). Okay, so the plan wasn't perfect. But who would be roaming the halls at this hour anyway?

Suddenly, at the end of the hall she heard someone approaching. Against all rhyme and reason, she jumped behind the next available statue. It clanked loudly. _Damnit_.

"Evans?" a familiar voice sounded.

 _Doubledamnit._

James Potter walked by the statue she was crouching behind and pointed his lit wand in her face.

"Evans," he croaked, dumbfounded at the unexpected sight of her, "What the bloody hell are you doing?"

"Get that thing out of my face!" she hissed and waved the wand that was blinding her away. He lowered it as he was told.

He didn't let go, however, and demanded, "Well?"

"Erm," Lily responded, quite annoyed with the situation, "We're going out."

"Huh?" he asked back. Lily noticed that he looked quite beaten and was clad in his Quidditch uniform, "Did you finish practice only just now!?"

"Oh," James looked down his dirty uniform, "Yeah, not sure if that was the best idea. I hope the team won't be too exhausted tomorrow morning."

"Right," Lily smiled, "Good luck with that."

James smiled back at her, "Any chance you'll be making an appearance, Evans?"

"Never," Lily responded, grinning.

"Figures," he rolled his eyes, but his smile didn't fade, "So why are you hiding behind this three-legged man, exactly?"

Lily took another look at the statue next to her. It _did_ have three legs... strange.

"Sirius, Remus, Peter, Dorcas and I," she explained briefly, "We're going to the Three Broomsticks."

"Oh," the head boy nodded in trance, not taking his eyes off of her, "Wait what?"

"I needed a drink, okay!" Lily hissed defensively, "I'm not a white flower, Potter!"

"Um… okay?" James grinned at her. She rolled her eyes.

"Are you gonna rat me out or what?" she asked him worriedly, shoving her hands into the back pockets of her jeans.

James chuckled into the silence, "Evans, on what planet do you live? I'm just disappointed I can't join, that's all."

"Oh- right," Lily bit her lip, "Well, thanks. Hey, listen, we would've obviously invited you and Marls along-"

"But you knew we couldn't come anyways because of the game tomorrow and didn't want to rub it in our faces," James ended the sentence for her, "Yeah, I figured that you lot weren't complete arseholes. Thanks!"

Lily grinned up at him, "No problem."

They stood there in silence, holding eye contact for a few seconds longer until James shuffled his feet.

"Hey, yeah, so have one for me, will you, Evans?" he smiled down at her and Lily's stomach fluttered.

"I will," she breathed, mesmerized by the way the wandlight flickered in his eyes, "And hey, we can all celebrate together after you win the game tomorrow!"

She couldn't quite read what was going on behind his spectacles, but in the wandlight it seemed like his eyes were sparkling. He gave her a last curt nod before he turned to walk towards their shared dormitory.

Lily breathed out deeply. She smiled. Maybe they weren't fighting after all.

* * *

"TO GRYFFINDOR'S FIRST WIN OF THE SEASON!" Sirius shouted, quite prematurely, as the group of five giddily clinked their first round of goblets together. Lily had trouble focusing on the drink in front of her, as she was still hung up with her and James' encounter. They had arrived at the Three Broomsticks at half past eleven, and while Madam Rosmerta did raise a single eyebrow when Sirius first stepped into the warm bar, the opposite corner of her mouth had twitched with amusement.

"Okay, who wants to play a game?" Dorcas giggled and took a small sip of the golden liquid in her goblet.

"Like exploding snap?" Peter asked excitedly, not quite as ladylike in downing his own drink. A perimeter of white foam traced his lips.

"No," Dorcas rolled her eyes, but smiled at the blonde manchild, "Lily, Marls and I play this every summer-"

"Oh no," Lily held her hands up in front of her face to hide it, "That's not a good idea, Dori."

"Now we have to play it," Remus grinned, obviously very comfortable in his spot next to Lily.

Lily whimpered and Dorcas waved her off, "C'mon, it'll be fun, Lily! Okay, so it's a muggle game called Truth or Dare."

"Ahh, a game as old as time itself," Remus nodded and Sirius barked loudly.

"Oh, you know it?" Dorcas squealed of joy and Lily rolled her eyes at her upcoming misery.

"How d'you reckon we got Prongs to shave his hair off in summer of fifth year?" Sirius grinned.

"Ohh, that was so awful," Lily remembered, taking a long swig of her own goblet. James had resembled a mix between someone who was dealt a deadly disease and a bloke fresh out of Azkaban. The female population of Hogwarts of course still dug it, and a few second years, who had missed the involuntarity of this action, mirrored the drastic cut of their idol.

"If anyone could pull it off, it's Prongs!" Peter squeaked and Remus snorted at this blunt lie.

"Well, Potter's hair is the only attribute this one," Dorcas shoved Lily in the side, "would agree to find even a bit enticing over all the years."

Sirius barked gleefully, "Oh, if Prongs only knew. He would've been even more pissed that we made him do it."

"Totally deserved it though," Remus commented dryly, taking a sip of his drink.

"Any hard feelings left, Moony?" Lily asked innocently, grinning as the boys' nickname for Remus slipped out under the influence of whatever it was that Black had ordered for them all.

"Oh, he's only mad that James dared him to quit his prefect position and give his loyalty to marauders everywhere as reason."

"That's what that was about!?" Lily squealed in delight and slammed a hand on the table, " _Ouch,_ that hurt. Anyway, I always wondered about that!"

"And off his hair came," Remus muttered into his glass, but grinned nonetheless.

"So, Lilykins," Sirius smirked, and casually spilled his long arms across the wooden table so that he occupied it like a nonchalant kraken, "Speaking of James Potter's favourable attributes, any new ones come to mind?"

"Hey!" Lily demanded, "We're not playing yet!"

"Touché," Remus nodded and Sirius raised a hand in retreat, "So how do we decide who starts?"

"Easy," Dorcas smiled widely, "I'll start."

No one protested as Dorcas asked Rosmerta for an empty butterbeer bottle. She spun it with a flick of her wand. It stopped on Peter.

"Ooooh," the rest of them called and burst out laughing at the chorus they had created.

"Alright, Peter," Dorcas grinned, "Truth or dare?"

Peter thought about it for a moment before he decided, "Truth."

"Pete always picks truth," Sirius explained, clearly annoyed, "Doesn't have the balls for a dare!"

"Hey," Peter defended himself, "I like my hair, alright?"

"So Peter," Dorcas pulled the attention back to the game, "I ask you to tell the truth: Do you have a picture of Potter in your bedroom at home?"

Peter turned bright red and croaked, "It's not like that!"

They all burst out laughing while Peter tried to save himself, "I've got picture of everyone! We're just not on the Quidditch team, so that's why he's alone on one. But that's the only one! The other one was a Christmas card _from_ him, okay?"

It didn't help his case and it was difficult to get everyone to focus back on the game when every time a few had settled down, others started to giggle again and start everyone all over again.

After Peter, it was Sirius' turn.

Peter squeaked, "I dare you to drink the rest of all of our glasses."

"Done," Sirius said briskly and one by one finished their drinks. After his final drink he came up with a long and loud burp.

"Lovely," Dorcas rolled her eyes as Sirius sloppily ordered another round for them all from Madam Rosmerta. Lily giddily sipped at the fresh drink that filled her body with a warm tingling sensation.

"Evans, s'your turn," Sirius interrupted her blurrying thoughts.

"What?" Lily noticed the bottle pointing at straight at her, "Oh! Okay. Um, I like my hair as well, so I pick truth."

"You guys realize that he's not going to ask a girl to cut off her hair," Remus threw in, "I mean he's a savage, but mostly to us."

"And Slytherins," Sirius grinned, "So, Lilykins, why don't you lift this veil for me. What the hell happened when I left that staff room last Sunday?"

Lily swallowed. _Shit, shit, shit._

"What do you mean," she tried to save herself, but Dorcas was already shifting uncomfortably in the seat next to her, giving her best friend away. Sirius grinned as he noticed this.

"Well, since you asked," Sirius said sweetly, pinning her with his gaze, "I waited for dear Prongsie in front of the castle that night. When he did come, and this was after a whole _while_ mind you, he seemed… I dunno, distraught? Absentminded? Completely off his rocker!? He even had trouble transforming, mind you."

Lily felt her cheeks on fire. She was in deep now.

"Transforming?" Dorcas asked suddenly, and Lily loved her friend more than ever before then and there.

Sirius coughed loudly, and Remus knocked over an empty glass that clanked against the centred butterbeer bottle.

"I meant!" Sirius called out, thinking on his toes "In transformation class. You know, on Monday. The exercise with transforming the table into a pig? Couldn't do it!"

"Huh," Dorcas said, trying to remember if the head boy had had trouble during class, but gave up and happily sipped her drink.

"Okay okay," Sirius drew breath in, now that Dorcas seemed to have bought the story and Remus turned less green, "So back to Evans."

Lily smiled innocently, as if she had no clue they were even playing a game.

But Black didn't let loose, "Let's hear the truth, what happened there."

"Hum," Lily cleared her throat, "Yes, well, important head student stuff to clear up, and yeah, well, what was that, right, Halloween Feast, we talked about that, something about punch, I think, and yes, yup, we kissed, yup."

"WHAT!?" Sirius slammed his hand on the table, knocking over half of the glasses and earning them an annoyed glance from Madam Rosmerta, who came whizzing over with a dry towel. Remus couldn't contain himself- he was giggling like a little girl, holding his stomach.

Peter just kept muttering, "No, no, no."

"Well, don't hold back how you feel, Peter," an annoyed Dorcas told him off.

"Baha!" Black barked suddenly, "Peter you owe me a grillion zillion galleons!"

"Noooo," Peter kept moaning and dug his face into his hands.

"You knew about this!?" Remus demanded from Dorcas through his giggles.

"Barely," Dorcas waved him off and pointed at the bright pink Lily, who had her lips and arms pressed together so tightly that McGonagall would've been proud, "And you know this one. She's basically ignored him ever since, if not shoved him away entirely."

"Hey!" Lily tried to protest.

"What!?" Sirius was flabbergasted, "Was it that bad?"

"No wonder he didn't tell us about it," a new wave of giggles struck Remus, "and I figured it was cause he's such a classy bloke!"

"Oh, oh!" Peter raised his hand as if in class, "I don't have to pay anything, if they're not officially together!"

"Aww, I can't believe Prongsie failed me like that," Sirius sighed, "Well, maybe it is just looks after all."

"No, it's not that," Lily defended James, but regretted it immediately.

"Oh?" Dorcas turned her attention to best friend, "Now that I think of it, I haven't even heard any of the juicy details! How was it?"

"One question only, guys!" Lily insisted, but came up against a wave of opposition.

She took another encouraging swig of her goblet.

"Well?" Remus urged on excitedly.

She raised an eyebrow, "I would've thought better of you, Remus."

"Ah," he grinned and placed his chin on his hands expectantly, "Don't."

Lily rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in front of her chest anew, "Oh fine. If you must know-"

 _His hand running down her back, his chest against hers, his tongue in her mouth-_

"It was earth-shattering, mind-blowing, Patronus-producingly brilliant and I really can't seem to think of anything else since."

Her words rung silence for a moment. Then, Remus, Black, Peter and Dori unanimously roared in approval and clinked their glasses together in celebration.

"Rosmerta, another round!" Black called to the waitress, who anticipatingly came with a full tray immediately, "TO PRONGSIE! Snogging his way into the heart of the hottest girl at Hogwarts!" The glasses clinked loudly, and Lily turned pink once again at the unexpected compliment Black threw her way.

"Except of course for you, Dorikins," Sirius quickly added while draping a casual arm over Dorcas' shoulder, "you're a hot piece of ass, you know that, right?"

"Charming," Dorcas muttered and rolled her eyes, but smirked nonetheless as she threw her blonde curls over her shoulder.

"Yup, Evans is trash compared to you," Sirius continued slurring in her ear.

"Thanks!" Lily hexed a coaster aimed for his head, "So much for your charms, Black."

"C'mon, Evans, you're taken now," Sirius explained, "Kind words are wasted on you. By the way, Meadowes, I'm a rich man now. Hand the goods over, Wormy!"

"I guess that's called Black logic then," Lily huffed, "And no, I'm not taken."

"Wha-?" Sirius snorted half a mouthful of liquid onto Dorcas' shirt.

"Lovely," Dorcas commented annoyed as she patted the front of her bright yellow shirt dry.

"Lily, nooo," Remus suddenly moaned, less than sober himself, "Stop playing games! My heart can't take it anymooore…"

"That's good to know," Lily observed and rolled her eyes.

"I want you to be togetherrrr," Remus pleaded with her.

"I don't want to pay up," Peter disclosed uncomfortably.

"I can't believe that Prongs has such snogging talents!" Sirius exclaimed, eyes glowing, "Is there anything this bloke _can't_ do!? Well, I'd know more if he'd picked dare that one time-"

"OK!" Lily cut him off loudly, "This is all getting a little too out of hand for my taste! Let's spin this bottle. Oh look, Remus, your turn!"

They stayed at the Three Broomsticks for hours. When the group finally headed up towards the castle, the game was still on. By now, Remus was missing his shirt and one sock, Dori had pecked Sirius on the cheek, who had taken the opportunity to pull the blonde Gryffindor in for a full-lipped kiss (earning him a screech and a slap), Peter had admitted to several crushes and they had all downed an unhealthy amount of liquor.

Once they had made it through the tunnel and once again stood in front of the statue of the one-eyed witch, no one really wanted to go to bed.

"So who's turn was it again?" Black asked into the round, as he leaned heavily on the statue's shoulder.

"Mine, mine!" Lily hopped up and down snapping her fingers, like Black did in class if he cared to participate at all.

"I dare you-" Remus began.

"Hey, I haven't even picked truth or dare!" Lily protested.

"Well," Remus burped, "Which one do you want?"

"Um," Lily's mind spun, "Between what can I pick?"

"Dare," Remus burped again.

"Ok, I pick dare," Lily said brightly.

"I dare you," Remus formed his sentence slowly, "To steal Prongs' Quidditch uniform from his room and wear it."

Lily's eyes widened and she whispered, "Remus! I can't do that!"

"It's Truth or Dare," Peter threw in, "You have to."

"Right," Lily nodded, worried, "But his game's tomorrow."

"You'll bring it back before then!" Sirius yelled encouragingly, his voice ringing through the halls.

"Shhh," Dorcas giggled, trying to hold herself upright using Remus' arm to steady herself, "How about only the shirt?"

They all looked at each other.

Remus nodded, "Amendment to dare approved."

"Okay okay," Dorcas giggled, "Lily, you get the shirt, we'll raid the boys' butterbeer stash from their dormitory, and we'll all meet downstairs to watch the sunrise from the meadow. Ohh, I love that word! Meadowwww- like ma name."

Lily stumbled down the hall towards her dormitory, halting before Wilfred the Wistful.

"Wilfred, why am I such an idiot?" she asked him brightly and the statue eagerly swung open.

She tiptoed up James' staircase. Now that she thought of it, she'd never been up here. The door barely creaked as she opened it.

The room, to no surprise, was identical to hers, with the exception that in this bed slept the wild-haired, shirtless Quidditch captain James Potter, lying on his stomach and breathing in and out slowly.

After a few minutes, Lily caught herself staring at him. _Creep_. She quickly turned away and looked around at his closet. How was she supposed to go through the thousands of drawers without him waking up!? She looked around frantically. Suddenly, she realized she didn't have to open up a single drawer to acquire the uniform. The fat-headed star player of Gryffindor had seriously _framed_ his Quidditch jersey.

"Ohh, that's so not hot," Lily snickered to herself, but grinned at the huge picture frame that hung on the wall above James' wooden desk. She began unbuttoning her blouse, " _Accio jersey_."

* * *

"Looking good, Evans!" Black shouted across Hogwarts' grounds as Lily stepped down the castle steps in the oversized shirt with the number 27 scrawled across her back. She breathed in deep as the scent of damp grass and cool morning air mixed with the intoxicating smell of the jersey, which she had quickly pulled over her head while jumping down the steps of the head boy dormitory.

They toasted to her theft, and before any of them really took second swig of their respective bottles, they all drifted into deep slumber on the cushy green grass. Lily dreamed of flying with James on a carpet over the Quidditch pitch, and it was ridiculously wonderful.

She only woke when the sunlight rose behind her eyes. She opened her eyes and looked down herself. Then back at the sunrise.

"NO!," Lily yelped and kicked Sirius sleeping next to her, "Get up you idiots! Oh no, we fell asleep. No no no, oh no-"

Without waiting for the others to stir, she raced towards the castle and up the stairs. Almost the entire bloody student population was already at breakfast, no doubt so punctual in anticipation for the first game of the season - Gryffindor against Ravenclaw.

Lily kept her head low as she made her way through the entrance hall and into the Great Hall, ducking away from familiar faces and piercing down the Gryffindor table in search of the house's Quidditch captain. Marlene, who sat together with the others of the Gryffindor team, waved at her when she recognized her friend, and gave her a baffled look as she noticed Lily's outfit.

The head girl couldn't spot the teams' captain anywhere.

"Marls!" Lily exclaimed as she ran over to where the raven-haired chaser was sitting, "Where's Potter?"

Marlene looked a little green, but still exuded glee at the sight of her seemingly insane friend, "Erm, morning Lily. He's upstairs, currently looking for his lucky jersey. Any chance, you've seen it?"

The rest of the Gryffindor team snorted into their untouched cereal and Lily turned pink. She scanned the Great Hall and realized that half the students of Hogwarts had noticed her quite uncommon wardrobe, and when she saw that Wilhelmina from the Ravenclaw table pointed at the jersey she was sporting, she turned on her heel and jogged out of the hall.

 _Crap._

The head girl sprinted up the staircase and didn't stop her short legs from running until she made it to the common room of their head dormitory on the fourth floor.

James was not downstairs, but a cursing voice protruding from the chamber above gave her a clue as to where he was. She gulped and took two steps at a time.

"James!" she yelped, "I'm _so_ sorry, really, crap, I didn't mean to- um."

When she slammed open the door of the chamber, something gave halt to her blabbering.

James Potter, the infamous school bad boy and gifted chaser of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, a team that had won every single Quidditch cup since his ascent to captain, was clad in a jersey that was, simply put, six sizes too small for him. It clung to him like it was made of the same fabric as Lily's bathing suit.

Lily could've sworn that she tried her best to stay respectful in this sensitive moment- but the truth of the matter was that she didn't try one bit. In fact, she burst out laughing like a gurgling gargoyle right then and there.

"Potter- what in the _name_ of - what- bahahaha," she wheezed and held her sides as she leaned against the doorframe, only to slide down it to lie on the carpet instead, bursting from laughter.

"EVANS!" James yelled at her, his face and neck bright red, "Why the _fuck_ are you wearing my jersey!?"

But Lily, half drunk and quite unrested, was a long way off from offering a calm reaction, "I- bahah- oh, I'm so- bah! - James- wha-"

"THIS IS MY JERSEY FROM BLEEDING FIFTH YEAR, EVANS!" James roared, pulling the overly tight shirt that barely covered his belly button over his head in anger, "I WOKE UP TO FIND MY JERSEY STOLEN!"

Lily giggled like a crazy person on the floor.

"What was I supposed to do!?" He continued to yell at her, "All I knew was that someone had stolen the bleedin' thing and left their blouse on my bedroom floor! For all I knew it was some crazy Hufflepuff, Evans, how was I supposed to know that you would take a liking to my fucking uniform suddenly!?"

Lily hiccuped and started giggling again.

"Hand it over, Evans!" James demanded, strangely enough not finding the situation funny one bit.

"Fine, fine!" Lily giggled, "Turn around."

"WHAT!?" James wanted to know, "There's no time to play games now, Evans, half the school is already at the damned pitch!"

Lily glanced out of the window behind him and saw that he was right. A massive hoard of excited Hogwarts' students was currently making their way towards the pitch.

"I will, as soon as you turn around, Potter," Lily giggled and she picked up her green blouse from the floor, where she had dropped it earlier that night. He seemed to catch on and quickly averted his eyes and wandered over to the window to angrily stare at the student body clad in Ravenclaw and Gryffindor colours.

"That's right, James," Lily grinned as she pulled the jersey over her head, enjoying the random time spent with him, "Pace yourself! One step at a time, am I right?"

She slipped into her blouse and quickly hopped down the staircase. The head girl decided that she couldn't sleep now anyway, and made her way to the now likely abandoned library.

* * *

As she scanned the dusty backs of ancient Charms books, she had the feeling that someone was watching her. The hairs in the back of her neck stood up and something about the deafening persistent silence made her feel uncomfortable. She scrunched her nose and shut the book she had only just opened. Maybe she would just read upstairs in her bedchamber after all. She strode along the tiny corridor of bookshelves and made to turn a corner.

"OOF!"

She had run into something. Or some _one_ , rather.

"Lily!" it was a frantic looking James, clad from head to toe in his fitted crimson uniform and holding an empty parchment in his left hand.

"James!" a bewildered Lily breathed in sharply, "Why- why aren't you at the game? Were you here this whole time?"

He frowned and shook his head, "No, I just got here. Listen, Lils-"

"How did you know I was here?" she interrupted him, crossed her arms in front of her chest and leaned against the ancient bookshelf behind her. James suspiciously pocketed the parchment he was still gripping.

"Nevermind that!" He responded quickly, running a hand through his messy hair, "It's Saturday, and there's a game going on. Where are you gonna be, Evans? It's a fairly simple equation."

Lily thought this over, but was still confused, "James, it's Saturday, and there's a game- What the hell are _you_ doing here?"

The tall captain made to run his hand through his hair again, but Lily caught it and held it steady. She turned pink when she noticed their clasped together hands and let go.

James groaned, clearly uncomfortable, "I- I just wanted to- What exactly did you mean back there?"

Lily raised her eyebrows in confusion, "Back where? I'm just looking at books here-"

"Evans, focus!" he whispered, fire behind his eyes, "They're waiting for me out there- I'm talking about just now. In my chamber. You said _one step at a time_."

Lily gulped and quickly averted her gaze.

"I- I don't know, James."

But he didn't let go, "Is that your response?"

"W-what?"

"To what I said to you in the staff room," he urged on.

Lily bit her lip.

"If you want, we can just forget that it ever happened," he said quietly, sounding defeated in the presence of her silence, "Just tell me, Lils. You need to stop messing with me, okay?"

Lily shook her head, but didn't say a word.

 _I'm in love with you._

 _I'm in love with you._

 _I'm in love with you too._

Why could she tell everyone, even Alexa, how she felt, but not him?

"Evans," he growled in frustration and closed his eyes, obviously fighting with himself. Her heart hurt seeing him like this. Why couldn't she just say something to make it better? There were a thousand thoughts cluttering her head, about what people would think and about who she would be.

When he opened his eyes and spoke again, he found the confidence that Lily so admired about him, "Evans, will you be my date to the Halloween Party?"

Lily's heart skipped in response.

She swallowed, "Um."

And, then, as if out of nowhere, her heart kicked her head in the shins and she stuttered, "Oh-Okay."

She watched intently as James took a deep breath through his nose, like he was coming up for air.

"Evans?" he croaked, wrapping his arms around her small shoulders and pressing his forehead against hers.

"Um," Lily bit her lip, and her eyes fluttered as his scent filled her nose, "Yes?"

"Will you do me a bloody favour, and watch me play?"

She met his gaze and never wanted look away again.

She giggled, "Yeah, okay."

* * *

The echo of his rapid footsteps rung in her ears as she calmly walked the invisible path he had painted, down the many steps of the castle. The sunlight hit her like a refrain as she stepped out onto Hogwarts grounds and she grinned from ear to ear as she trotted behind the few students that were as late to the game as she was. She touched her lips, raw and puffy, with a curiosity as if they belonged to someone else. _Wish me luck, Evans._

In the distance, she saw that a single figure was walking from the pitch and not towards it. She squinted her eyes and believed to recognise who it was.

"Hi, Elise!" Lily called out brightly to the massive head of brown curls that was making its way towards her. The Ravenclaw prefect looked up and when she recognised that it was Lily who called her name, she gave a meek smile.

"Hey, Lily," she said, pulling her Ravenclaw scarf down from around her neck, "Are you heading to the game?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact I am" Lily grinned, "What about you? Was there a Bronski-fluff uh, or Flonski-bluff- oh, whatever I can't ever remember the exact name, or even what it does! Did someone already catch the snitch?"

Elise laughed politely, "No no. It's just- well, my boyfriend, I mean ex-boyfriend, is on the Ravenclaw team, and I thought it would be fun to see James crush him, but – yeah, just seeing him is still a little too much right now."

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Lily said quickly.

Elise giggled, "I can tell. Is that why you're smiling from head to toe?"

Lily turned pink, "I don't know what's going on, to be honest. I can't seem to stop it, either. Sorry! Is it that obvious!?"

"I never knew you had that many teeth, Lily," Else grinned back.

"Yes, well, my cheeks are starting to hurt, so I better figure something out," Lily giggled.

"Don't," Elise laughed, "It suits you."

Then the head girl remembered something, "Hey, by the way Elise, whatever happened to those threats you were getting?"

"Oh," Elise waved her off, "Haven't gotten any more notes in my pocket since. I think it was just some stupid prank, so nothing to worry about!"

"Good," Lily said relieved, "So what are you up to now?"

"I was thinking of getting an early start to setting up the room for our Order of Phoenix session tomorrow!" Elise said, clearly delighted, "It's my turn and right now training with everyone on Sundays is the one thing I look forward to the most, to be honest, since the breakup and everything."

Lily nodded encouragingly, "Well that's great! I'm really enjoying it too, actually. But don't get too lonely up there by yourself!"

"I won't," Elise promised and with that the two prefects bid each other goodbye.

Lily hummed her favourite ABBA tunes as she continued on her way to the pitch and as she climbed the many steps of the Gryffindor curve. When she made it, Madam Hooch had already blown her whistle to start off the game.

"Hello, dear friends," she greeted the round of familiar faces. They greeted her back in pained moans and Lily brightly laughed at their shared hangover misery as she took a seat next to Dorcas.

"Fancy seeing you here," Sirius said in a muffled voice, as his head rested on his hand.

"Thought I'd check it out after all this time," Lily nodded and her face grew warm in the bright sunlight.

"Prongs is killing it," Peter informed her briskly.

"Is he now?" Lily grinned and searched the field to spot him for herself.

Peter was right. James really _was_ killing it. Lily had not been to a game since James was made captain. Back then, she and Severus did it as a rebellion against the indulgence of unnecessary house pride (that's what they had agreed on, anyway), and they had enjoyed the secluded hours in the library they had all to themselves instead, time and time again.

Lily had to admit that watching James play would not have exactly eased Severus' jealousy of him. He was phenomenal. The speed at which he passed the Quaffel made Lily's head spin, the way ducked bludgers made her heart stop and how he shouted commands of encouraging and devastating nature at the same time filled her with an inexplicable sense of pride. Until now, he had barely even scored, but assisted each winning shot. What was even more remarkable to Lily, someone who could barely keep from running into each and every object on the safe and steady ground, was that he could fly like no other on the field. Lily had no idea what good flying looked like, but witnessing James gave her an idea of what great flying was about. No one could keep up with him. She grinned.

Dorcas nudged her, "You look happy."

Lily nudged her back and wrapped an arm around her blonde friend, "I am."

James scored his first goal and she jumped up with the others, roaring and clapping. The Quidditch captain flew by the Gryffindor curve and blew a kiss to the crowd, and Lily could've sworn that he had winked at her, but looking around, every single Gryffindor girl thought the same.

"JP SUPERSTAR DOES IT AGAIN! 60 TO 10 FOR GRYFFINDOR! BETTER PACK YOUR CRAMMED BOOKBAGS, RAVENCLAW!" the Hufflepuff Kenneth Lowe announced ecstatically. The crowd cheered. Someone tapped on Lily's shoulder.

"Ms. Evans," a stern voice said, and whipped Lily out of the game.

"Professor McGonagall!" she responded surprised and looked up into the professor's strained features.

"Ms. Evans, please come with me. Something has happened."


	25. Ask Evans

**A/N: I hope this isn't too confusing... XOXO**

* * *

"Oh, Ms. Evans! You look truly stunning!"

Lily groaned in frustration as she examined the large golden clock at the back of the store for the zillionth time. Only an hour and thirteen minutes had passed since they had entered this godforsaken shop. She could've sworn that it had been at least thrice as much of her life wasted. Judging by the notion of her clenched jaw, it definitely felt like it.

"Soon-to-be Mrs. Dursley," Petunia chirped at the elderly storeowner and beamed from head to toe across the room. Lily caught herself mid eye roll, something that she had vigorously promised her adamant mother to refrain from for the entirety of her stay. Rose Evans had gone as far as to actually put her wish into writing prior to Lily's departure from Hogwarts.

 _My lovely Lily,_

 _We are so excited that you're going to flew/floo (How do you spell it?) over for your sister's big day._

 _Don't you dare roll your eyes even once, young lady! I mean it!_

 _Love,_

 _Mum_

Lily's only reaction to the letter had been one rich last eye roll at Agnetha, who had somewhat resigned in her position as the head girl's final remaining friend at Hogwarts. Yup, that's what it had come to- her pet bird as last standing companion. Ah well. Since when was this Petunia's 'big day' anyway? Wasn't the wedding supposed to be _the_ big day?

"Why don't you go with soon-to-be Mr. Vernon Evans instead?" Lily brightly suggested under the warning eye of her mother, "Two vees in one name? Be honest, that's pretty bonkers!"

Petunia's response was limited to pretending like she hadn't heard her little sister.

Fair enough, Lily thought. Another one to add to the list of people that would rather just pretend she didn't exist than to be forced to engage with her.

* * *

" _What, you're not going to talk to me either now?" Lily called after Marlene into the cold October air. The Quidditch chaser had stormed out of Care of Magical Creatures class before Lily had gotten another chance to finally speak with her in a civilized manner like she had planned. Lily's irrational reaction was to stumble after Marlene like a desperate idiot, not really knowing what to be or say, so all that she could definitively muster was anger._

 _When Marlene continued her rapid pace, Lily ill-advisedly yelled, "Stop running off, you fat-headed Erumpent!"_

 _At that, Marlene turned on her heal, her cheeks flushed bright red, and faced her best friend. They had come to a halt in front of Lily's favourite tree, the one they had shared so many memories under, and Marlene resigned to a loathsome glare. Lily instantly felt quite guilty about the Erumpent comment, knowing full well that Marlene had some sort of issue with her flawless nose._

" _Well?" Lily proposed in an attempt to provoke the fuming raven-haired beauty in front of her to speak._

 _Marlene tightly crossed her arms in front of her chest and spat, "What do you want me to say, Lily?"_

 _The head girl uncertainly stepped from one foot to the other under her friend's agonising gaze._

" _I didn't," Lily started off, but softened her voice as soon as she realised how aggressive the tone of it was, "I don't understand why you and Dori are ignoring me. This whole thing has nothing to do with the both of you!"_

" _Except that it does," Marlene retorted, "It may seem like the world doesn't revolve around me the same way it does around you, Lily, but what you did affects me every single day. I can't go to bloody practice without being yelled at by him for no reason at all! Remus wouldn't even sit next to Dorcas in Arithmancy class! There's no Switzerland in this fight, Lily, we had to pick a side."_

 _It was a sting to her heart._

" _But," Lily softly muttered, "Then why did you choose his?"_

 _Marlene sighed and uncrossed her arms, "Because he didn't do anything wrong, Lily."_

" _Oh, and you just assume that I did?" Lily demanded, clearly upset. To underline her frustration, she violently kicked a lonely patch clover into shreds._

 _Marlene raised an eyebrow and curtly said, "From what I've heard, yes."_

" _So you're basing this on some rumour?" the head girl asked in disbelief, still absentmindedly kicking the innocent grass._

 _But she knew that Marlene would not have heard it from just anyone. She had probably spoken to the sole witness himself._

" _Why did you have to string him along again?" Marlene shot back at her in a low voice, aware of the group of peers trotting by on their way up to the castle, "Why not just tell him that you're not ready for a relationship? To tell him that... that's just cruel, Lily."_

" _I know that, alright!?" Lily threw back at the shivering Quidditch chaser, and her voice shook as an unusually icy October wind blew through her hair, "Don't you think I know that? But now he's moved back in with the others and I- I don't even see him anymore!"_

" _What did you expect to happen, Lily?" Marlene snapped, "Did you think you could both go back to being chummy mates after everything?"_

 _Lily suppressed a sniff and argued back, "Aren't you supposed to be my friend, no matter how much I mess things up? That's what I'd do for you, you know!"_

" _Yes," Marlene groaned exasperatedly, pulling her Hogwarts-badged cardigan closer to her chest, "But you're being a coward, Lily. What the hell happened to you? The friend that I know and love is much braver than this."_

 _With that, Marlene turned her back on Lily and made her way up to the castle alone._

* * *

"Absolutely breathtaking!" her mother squealed, and pulled Lily out of her thoughts, "Doesn't she look just darling, Lily love?"

"Hrmpf," was all the redheaded teen could muster, sticking a piece of gum into her mouth. They hadn't eaten all day in preparation of dress fitting and her stomach was protesting wildly. It wasn't contributing to her mood.

And after all, it wasn't her fault that every dress Tuney threw over her meagre body (Lily could've sworn that her sister had lost 15 pounds since she had last seen her) was a fluffy puffy nightmare. She really did want to tell the bride-to-be how stunning she looked, but something invisible was lodged in Lily's windpipe and kept her from urging her sister on to commit fashion suicide.

"Just imagine, sweetheart," her overjoyed mother suddenly gasped and clapped her hands together, "One day it will be you in that white dress!"

On cue, Petunia burst out in her signature evil laugh and snorted, "Like she'd ever find a bloke insane enough to go for her!"

"Tuney!" their mother gasped in her best 'you two are sisters!' voice.

"Thanks a bunch, sis," Lily huffed in response, ruffling her long auburn hair into a wild mess.

"Stop that," her mother instantly demanded, smoothing over the top of Lily's head with her perfect motherly hands.

Rose Evans was not her usual pleasant self today; Lily had noticed this as soon as she stepped out of the fire at seven o'clock sharp this morning. Her mother's red eyes and twitching mouth gave her broad idea of what the past month of wedding planning must've cost her emotionally. If Lily could guess, her mum was likely on edge because of Petunia's constant outbursts and simultaneously completely devastated at the thought of losing her first born child to the world (aka Vermin).

Having noticed the sharp irritation exuding from Lily, Rose stopped fretting about her youngest and cheerfully proposed, "Why don't you go put something on, dear?"

"Not if it's a colour I can find in the rainbow," Lily snapped back, popping a bubble with her chewing gum.

Her mother sighed deeply, "That really doesn't leave us with much, Lily."

"Sure it does," Lily retorted, " _Black_."

* * *

" _What's going on with you?" James demanded from her, still clad in his Quidditch uniform, dusty and beaten from the game. Behind the cracked glasses that sat upon his bleeding nose, his familiar hazel eyes inspected her with foreign suspicion._

" _Nothing," Lily instantly snapped back, too quickly to ease his doubts. She wrapped her arms around herself as a shield from the intimacy he created with each step towards her._

" _Lils, what does it mean?" he challenged her, his gaze stern, "Do you have any lead on who wrote it?"_

 _Lily groaned to signal her annoyance with his intrusive questions. Didn't he get it?_

 _He took another step towards her and Lily synchronically took two steps back._

" _James, it would be best if you just left me alone," she told him quietly._

 _He glanced at the ground to where she stood and back up to her._

" _Okay," he spoke softly and nodded compassionately, "Then we'll talk after our meeting with Dumbledore?"_

" _No," she anxiously shook her head, her chest left feeling empty, "No, you're not getting it, James. You can't- this can't work."_

* * *

"Oh, Lily, that shape on you is just darling!" Rose Evans squealed, as Lily stepped out from behind the heavy velvet curtain.

"You mean moron-shaped?" Lily suggested through gritted teeth, looking down the lilac horror of tulle that her mother had made her try on ("Try and participate, love").

"Oh, stop it," her mother giggled cheerfully, "I'm sure that your boyfriend will find you ravishing in this spicy number!"

"Mum, first, clothing cannot be described with the same adjectives as condiments; and second, any bloke would have a seizure even looking at this colour," Lily protested and loudly added, "And I as I've said a thousand times since I got here - I don't have a boyfriend!"

"I find that very odd," her mother retorted, using her index finger to motion for Lily to turn.

"That's because you're my mum, mum," Lily explained as she dutifully spun around once, "Think about it, a kid with this hair and brown eyes? Hideous!"

"Who has brown eyes?" Rose asked, grinning.

Stomping, Lily retreated behind the curtain in disdain and sourly called out, "Forget it, mum! Never gonna bloody happen!"

* * *

 _She hurried after McGonagall, whom she had seldom seen quite so pale. The two witches paced across the golden grounds of Hogwarts, which enjoyed the last of the sun before the October cold would encompass the castle and its surroundings. Far off behind them, Lily heard hundreds of voices heatedly shouting in protest. There had likely been a nasty foul, Lily contemplated, and instantly her head wandered to the boy on the broom with messy hair. Why had McGonagall pulled her away so suddenly?_

" _What is it, professor?" Lily finally broke the silence, but McGonagall did not stop nor turn to explain. The Gryffindor's head suddenly filled with other, darker things._

" _Has something happened," Lily gulped as horrific thoughts raced through her brain, "H-happened to my family, Professor?"_

" _No, Ms. Evans," McGonagall curtly replied, and Lily let out a sigh of relief as they hurried up the stone steps of the castle, "This matter does not concern your family. It does, however, involve you personally."_

" _Oh," Lily mumbled as her head spun with terrible things that she might have caused._

" _Ms. Evans, try not to interpret my silence," McGonagall suddenly said as if she had listened in on Lily's mind, "The fact of the matter is that a student was hurt."_

" _Who?" Lily blurted out immediately, quickly walking the steps her professor traced._

 _McGonagall sighed, "A fifth year Ravenclaw. You will know her, she is a prefect-"_

" _Elise?" Lily gasped, utterly horrified at the thought._

 _McGonagall nodded curtly. Now Lily understood why Professor McGonagall had asked to come; as head girl she was personally responsible for the prefects and their related activities._

" _It seems," Professor McGonagall continued, "that Ms. Wasserman was in the process of assembling the Transfiguration classroom for your weekly teaching activity."_

" _Oh no," Lily whispered. Whatever had happened to Elise was directly connected to the assignment Lily had given her. They had arranged that every participant of the Order of Phoenix had to take turns setting up their practice space. What could have possibly happened to Elise since the half hour she had last seen her?_

" _Madam Pomfrey is taking care of her now," McGonagall filled in and Lily's heart sank further, "You should be prepared; Ms. Wasserman has lost a lot of blood. Professor Dumbledore is quite certain that a dark spell was cast upon her to cause this much damage. Symptoms resembled a slit with a knife down her side."_

 _They went up the first flight of stairs._

 _Lily closed her eyes, petrified. She made to turn right to the Hospital Wing, but Professor McGonagall took a left instead._

" _Professor, aren't- um, aren't we going to see her?" Lily asked meekly, but dutifully trotted after her teacher._

" _Unfortunately, Ms. Evans," Professor McGonagall said sorrowfully, "you are connected to the incident,"_

 _They came to a halt._

 _Lily's heart stopped._

 _On the wall next to the Transfiguration classroom, under which Elise's abandoned wand still lay, was written in what could only be blood_

" _ASK EVANS"_

* * *

"Oh, sweetheart," her mother whimpered, snapping Lily back to reality, "Look at you!"

Her mother held a hand to her heaving chest and stepped towards the puffy, sparkly Petunia.

"This is the one, mum," Tuney whispered and their mother blew her nose loudly into a pink cotton tissue.

"It' still a bit loose, isn't it?" Petunia asked the storeowner ("Call me Claire"), who measured her diminishing bust again, gleefully.

"Oh yes, we'll need at least two more fittings before the big day," Call me Claire advised.

 _Don't count me in_ , instantly raced through Lily's head, and her thoughts wandered off again.

* * *

 _They had both stood in the darkness in hostile silence until Dumbledore bid them into his office. Inside of the circular room they were greeted by the usual puffs of smoke and whirring sounds of the fascinating silver instruments, as well as by an exhausted-looking headmaster._

" _Please," he gestured from behind his large, claw-footed desk, "Mr. Potter, Ms. Evans, take a seat."_

 _They did as he bid them in silence, and the heavy wooden legs of the visitors' chairs creaked loudly against the stone floor as they made to sit down._

" _Ms. Evans," Prof. Dumbledore addressed her calmly after she had taken a seat, "as I'm sure you're aware, I have a few questions for you."_

 _Lily drew her gaze away from her hands and nodded solemnly at the headmaster._

 _His voice carried no judgement when he asked her, "Do you know who did this?"_

" _I-," Lily swallowed hard as picture raced through her head, "I can't be sure professor."_

" _But you have suspicions," Dumbledore assumed softly, nodding to himself, his icy blue eyes gazing into Lily's emerald ones._

" _Professor, we all know who did it," a groggy James interrupted, "Who else would do something so vile, if not for that Voldemort-affiliated Slytherin pack-"_

" _Mr. Potter," Dumbledore spoke softly_

 _James ranted on, "You should expel the whole lot of them, if you ask me, Professor!"_

" _Mr. Potter," Dumbledore said again, firmly, holding up his long-fingered hand to bid the head boy silent, "While I appreciate your rage, I must also consider the background of which these allegations stem from. I must consider all possibilities before placing blame, so if you don't mind, I again ask Ms. Evans to, I'll phrase it dramatically, 'testify' for me."_

 _James ears turned red, clearly annoyed, but nodded curtly._

" _Excellent," Dumbledore simply stated. His eyes looked tired, Lily noticed, likely from speaking and writing to concerned parents and ministry workers until just now._

" _Ms. Evans," the head master reiterated, "Where were you when this happened to Ms. Wasserman?"_

 _James couldn't hardly contain himself as he interrupted, "Professor, you can't be-"_

" _Stop it!" Lily's high-pitched voice cut him off and she added, "Either stay and be quiet, or leave, Potter!"_

 _His eyes narrowed and Lily could see the knuckles wrapped around the arms of his chair turn white under pressure. But he stayed silent nonetheless._

 _Lily proceeded to ignore his anger and turned to her expectant headmaster, "I presume that I was at the Quidditch game, Professor. That's where Professor McGonagall informed me of what had happened. Or actually, just that something had happened. I only realised the extent of damage when I saw Elise in the- in the," Lily struggled to finish her report as the memory of a pale Elise flashed in front of her eyes, "- the Hospital Wing."_

 _Lily could feel hot tears trickle down her cheeks, but she concentrated on pulling herself together._

" _I see," the unreadable Dumbledore nodded, watching the head girl closely over his half-moon spectacles, "and before that?"_

 _She swallowed and felt James gradually shift in his seat._

" _In the library," Lily said softly, evading the headmaster's piercing blue gaze._

" _Did anything out of the ordinary happen there?" Dumbledore inquired, "Anything you can recall that could be linked to the attack?"_

 _Lily held her breath as she thought of her fleeting meeting with James and briefly met the professor's gaze, who seemed to x-ray her with his eyes still._

" _Um," she whimpered, but suddenly thought of something else, "I did have the feeling that we- um, I was being watched?"_

" _But you didn't see anyone? You can't be sure?" Dumbledore read her mind. Lily shook her head to agree with his assertion._

 _Dumbledore sighed deeply, "Alright, Ms. Evans. That will be enough for today. I want to thank you and Mr. Potter for joining me this late-"_

" _She had a piece of parchment, Professor," James suddenly croaked and Dumbledore's unreadable gaze shifted to him, "Evans took something from Wasserman's robes. I saw when I visited the Hospital Wing. It was a parchment. There was writing on it, but I couldn't- it burst into flames after I saw it."_

 _Lily couldn't believe it. How could he?_

 _Dumbledore examined the head boy with interest, "What colour were the flames, Mr. Potter?"_

 _Lily dropped her gaze to the floor and cursed Potter as she answered for him, "Blue, Professor."_

" _Ah," Dumbledore nodded slowly, clearly gaining something from this piece of information that Lily didn't, "I'm afraid you'll have to share with us what it said, Ms. Evans."_

" _I-," Lily gulped, "I was going to, Professor, I swear, just not in front of-"_

 _To put it simply, James looked pissed._

" _Nevermind," Lily added quickly, "It was a list, Professor."_

" _A list?" Professor Dumbledore reiterated, curious._

" _Yes," Lily replied, avoiding James' glare, "It was a list of things that I was not to do, to keep muggleborn students at Hogwarts safe."_

" _Ms. Evans," Dumbledore expressed sternly, "I really wish you would have led with this information."_

" _I apologise, professor, I just-," Lily's voice shook, "I just didn't think- it's nothing that you can do, professor. It was specifically addressed to me."_

" _Ms. Evans," Dumbledore started in a warning tone._

" _One," Lily quickly started from memory, "Quit teaching students to defend themselves against the Dark Lord. Two, there will be no more Muggle Mondays. Three, - three was something about cancelling the Halloween Party, Professor."_

 _James glared at her in disbelief and spat, "And you didn't care to share this information earlier!?"_

 _Lily ignored him and instead expectantly eyed her headmaster._

 _Dumbledore peered back at her with his unreadable gaze and quietly asked, "Anything else, Ms. Evans?"_

" _No," she gulped and shook her head fiercely, "Nothing further, Professor."_

" _Then I suppose you know what needs to be done," Dumbledore sighed grievously and stood up to walk the head students out._

 _But James wouldn't have it._

 _He jumped up to meet the head master's height and roared, "Oh, come on Professor! We can't quit everything muggle-related or anti-Voldermort just because of some threat! This is exactly why we should be learning to defend ourselves, fighting harder!"_

 _Dumbledore surveyed the head boy in pain, "Mr. Potter, I fully agree with you that we should not give in to threats. However, what happened to Ms. Wasserman is far from a promise. It was very real. Her parents' pain is very real. I ask you to consider this before engaging in further activities that could lead to harm."_

 _The head boy was outraged, "You can't be serious! Everything we built-"_

" _Consider it done, Professor," Lily interrupted him, the wooden legs of her chair screeching along the floor once again as she stood up._

* * *

"What about this one?" her mother called out to her youngest daughter, who had spent what felt like the last six hours trying on disgustingly bright ribbon-covered gowns. Lily stepped closer to the sale rack of impossibly abhorrent garbs.

The redhead sighed deeply at the sight and scrunched her nose as she reiteratively explained, "Mum, everything is Easter egg-coloured, "I'm begging you to just-"

"But this colour is pre-approved by you!" Her mother brightly interrupted her. Lily walked over to stand next to her mother, who held up a stunning pouf dress made of black velvet.

"It's quite short," Lily continued to argue as she softly stroked over the delicate fabric in awe.

But her mother only waved her off as she shoved the dress into Lily's arms, "As are you, darling! Go on now- on it goes!"

Lily stealthily rolled her eyes as she stepped behind the curtain and slipped into the dress, "Mum, you know I can't wear this to Tuney's wedding- it's not blindingly bright. She'll completely flip!"

"Ah well," her mother smiled, "How about this: You wear whatever Petunia would like you to wear on her special day and, if you like this one, I'll buy it for you and you can wear it for another special date. I'm telling you this sale is not a joke!"

Lily stepped out from behind the curtain, beaming at her image in the mirror, "Deal."

Her mum whistled loudly, "My baby's all grown up!"

" _Mum_!" Lily hissed, but her mother only waved her off and skipped over to the shoe rack, where the seamstress still fretted over Petunia's bony body.

"We're going to need heels with this one!"

* * *

" _Why did you tell me that the parchment was empty before?" James yelled at her as they entered their head dormitory._

" _I don't want to talk about it, James," Lily rebuffed loudly, and swiftly made her way towards her staircase._

" _So now you're not even going to talk to me?" James countered, following her closely, "You can't be serious quitting Muggle Mondays and the Order! How could you ever be so-"_

 _Lily turned around to face him and spat, "What, James?! How could I ever want to be safe? Cautious? Take responsibility? I know that you could never begin to comprehend what it's like being a muggleborn at this school, but at least show some empathy!"_

" _You can't retreat at the first sign of obstruction," he heatedly argued back, "we agreed last summer that the best strategy to fight Voldemort is to train in defence now!"_

" _That was before, James!" she yelled at him, "Of course in an ideal world it would be just brilliant to fight for good against evil! But wake up, Potter, this is an actual war, in which people actually die!"_

" _Don't you think I know that?" he passionately roared back, "My parents are risking their bloody lives out there for the cause every single fucking day!"_

" _We're kids, James!" she screeched at him, "Just kids! Elise is muggleborn and they ripped her open for it! And it's my fault! How could you say that I'm a craven? I'm a mudblood, don't you get that?"_

" _Don't call yourself that," he growled, loosening the red-and-gold tie around his neck._

" _But I am," Lily whimpered back, blinking away the tears in her eyes, "So excuse me, if I'd rather be cautious than dead."_

 _She turned on her heel and headed up the staircase to her chamber to get away, but the head boy followed her. He grasped her wrist to keep her from disappearing behind the safety of her bedroom door. She turned to face him and saw that his eyes had softened._

" _What did you mean before, 'can't work'?" he asked her gingerly. Lily's heart sank, knowing what task lay before her._

" _Look at us, James," she replied calmly, "We're fighting about something so fundamental. I can't- we can't do this."_

 _Lily could see hurt behind his eyes as he implored, "That was nothing, Evans. Just a little fight. We can talk about this!"_

" _No," Lily firmly shook her head, "You're from a completely different world. It just- it just can't work, James."_

 _He ran a shaking hand through his hair and became defensive, "It seemed to work plenty this morning!"_

" _Look," Lily sighed and calmly met his outraged expression, "I won't deny that I haven't- I know I've shown signs of affection towards you, okay?"_

 _James dropped her wrist in disbelief and indignantly blurted, "Signs of affection?"_

" _And it would be lovely, if things were just that easy," Lily went on quickly, "But they're just- they're obviously not!"_

" _What's not easy, Evans?!" James inquired enraged, and as Lily took a guarded step backward, her shoulders hit against the hard bedroom door behind her, "Being with me?"_

" _Well," Lily said nervously, evading his fuming gaze, "To be honest, James, yes! We're head students together. People expect certain things of us- or of me at least! I can't just go around claiming how horrible you are for six years and then date you like some spineless idiot!"_

 _His expression turned from furious to bitter._

" _So that's what this is about. Makes sense," James muttered, "You'd have to be completely spineless to be my girlfriend. Have you ever even considered not caring what people think, Evans?"_

" _James," she sighed, knowing that she couldn't soften now if she wanted to keep him safe, "It's not just that. You're making this more difficult! I'm stressed with school and being head girl, and what happened, well... Just because I kissed you back, that doesn't mean that I want to be your girlfriend."_

 _It was a deathblow. He looked wild, like he wanted to slam his fist into something. He didn't._

" _Right," he sputtered instead, an empty look on his face as he turned to head down her staircase, "Right. See you around, Evans."_

* * *

"My baby can't be leaving again so soon," her mother cooed as she hugged Lily so tightly that the head girl nearly choked. As the flames in the fireplace tingled readily to take her back to Hogwarts, she had to admit that she enjoyed her mother's crushing embraces quite it a bit.

"I know, mummy," Lily sighed into her mother's hair, "I miss you and daddy so much when I'm at school!"

"Lily," her mother said warningly as she pulled back.

"And Tuney of course," Lily added quickly under her mother's gaze, "But I'll see you lot again very soon for Christmas and the big day!"

"No, Lily," her mother said sweetly, "Well, yes, I'm glad that you miss your sister as well. But what I really wanted to say was- Lily, sweetheart, is everything alright with you? You seem- well, you don't seem your usual self today, nor in your most recent letters. Where is my cheerful little Lilykin underneath this stern young woman?"

Lily bit her lip; her mother just knew her too well.

"Don't worry, mummy, she's in here somewhere," Lily croaked as she dug her face into her mother's warm chest for one final time.

"Alright," her mother said in her soothing voice as she lovingly patted her daughter's auburn mane, "Everything will be alright, little girl. It's okay to be sad sometimes, you know? Just promise me that you won't ever lose your spirit."

"I'll try my best," Lily sniffed into her mother's sweater. She pulled back and threw floopowder into the flame. As she stepped into the fire and spun around and around, she winced at the memory that kept haunting her. A memory of a slim parchment in her pale hands, and narrow letters in black ink.

* * *

 _T_ _ **ASK**_ _S FOR_ _ **EVANS**_

 _One. Quit instructing Defence against the Dark Lord._

 _Two. There will be no celebration of non-magical heritage at Hogwarts._

 _Three. Cancel the Halloween Party._

 _Four. Abide by these rules or Potter dies._

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks so much to everyone who took the time to review this story! Especially those who have continued to do so through the chapters, it means so much to me! Magicgirll91, have you considered detective school?**


	26. It's not your Birthday - Part I

**A/N The end is near**

* * *

 _The Accio [AK-see-oh] or Summoning Charm summons an object to the caster over recorded distances as far as 1000m-_

"You've got to make a more convincing argument than that, Pratt!"

Lily let out a deep sigh. When had the library become a hot spot for gossiping 4th years on Saturday afternoons? She contemplated whether she should pounce on the group of Ravenclaws now and slap them with a juicy points' deduction or rather let her kind graciousness rule in their favour.

"I'm telling you, Potter let Gryffindor lose on purpose. For _her_."

Lily suddenly had trouble recalling grace.

The head girl gritted her teeth as her green eyes burned holes into page 263 of her Charms book.

 _...recorded distances as far as-_

"He's such an exceptional player, mind you, but he's also a romantic at heart. Remember how he went after Evans for years and years?"

 _...recorded distances as-_

"Right, but would he risk the Quidditch cup just to get back into Johnson's knickers? Doesn't sound like him, does it?"

 _...1000m. It may be utilised in two wa-_

"Oh, how can you say than!? Undoubtedly Potter would! I'm telling you lot, love makes you do mad things."

 _...may be uti_ -

"Hannah, no bloke like Potter would ever lose a game for a girl, that's mental."

Lily shut her book with a _snap_ and coughed loudly. In an instant, she heard urgent shushing and smiled to herself in satisfaction when beautiful silence concurred. The busy head girl reopened her book to its previous mark.

 _It may be utilised in two ways; either by casting the charm and the naming the object desired, or by pointing your wand at the desired object during the incantation-_

"Listen to me mate, that's exactly why they only lost by ten points! Gryffindor can easily make up the difference in their game against Hufflepuff."

Lily involuntarily started to growl and tried to keep her ears from pricking up.

"He may be brilliant, Vick, but no one can plan a game that well. And just by the by, show some Ravenclaw pride, will you?"

"I wanted Ravenclaw to win on our own accord as much anyone else in our house, alright? But we were miserable out there! I'm telling you, he lost on purpose and he did it for _love_."

"And _I'm_ telling you, he's probably cursing Johnson every day for the way she blocked his seeker!"

"Yeah, you've got to admit, that was a pretty nasty foul."

"Wait, but then how did Potter break his nose?"

"Obviously because he meant to save Alexa from falling off of her broom when his seeker went apeshit on her!"

"Pretty sure Potter was about to go apeshit on Johnson's ass instead, actually."

"Yeah, but then our beater got the best of him! Chapman's got a nasty swing, mind you."

"I think Johnson and Chapman are going out, actually."

"No! Potter and Johnson are life!"

Lily groaned and banged her forehead against page 264.

The library used to be a sacred place for her, but these idiots were ruining her peace. Three weeks had passed since the gruesome Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw match and 'the incident' with Elise, but Hogwarts' student body had not in the least gotten over all the savoury drama. The Ravenclaw seeker had caught the snitch by a matter of milliseconds, and Gryffindor, despite being 140 points ahead, had lost the game.

Lily bit her lip. She hadn't even known about Gryffindor's defeat until the morning after it had happened. She had been so involved in Elise's attack, and the strings attached to the piece of parchment, that she had just presumed that the Gryffindor Quidditch team had won the match. It had only added to the guilty feeling that was eating away at the pit of her stomach. She knew how it hit James when he lost a game; it had only happened once since he had been made the team's captain, and it had been linked to a Slytherin chaser aiming the Quaffle directly at his head rather than the goal post. James had been so confused by the off aim that he had instinctively ducked to the left, and slammed right into the steel goal post, resulting in a full-on concussion midway through the game. The remaining team had had no choice but to play on, six players and no captain. Their next game against Slytherin had been an aggressive triumph, honoured by broken limbs on both sides.

Lily had kicked him when he was down. Hard. She knew it. Nevertheless, visiting Elise in the Hospital Wing every afternoon and staring at her blank, pale face over the last few weeks had given Lily certainty in her decision to protect James from the worst. She hadn't figured out what had happened with the attack, and from what she could tell, neither had the teaching staff or Dumbledore. Or at least they weren't sharing their theories with hers. After the incident, they were all advised to walk the halls in twos and to stay in the dormitories right after dinner, but other than that it seemed that the adults were just as puzzled about everything as she was. An attacker had been inside the castle. Most likely they were still here - and Lily had the key to everyone's safety.

School hadn't been easy for the head girl since that forsaken day. Word had gotten around quickly that it was she who had single-handedly cancelled the Halloween Party, along with the beloved Muggle Mondays and Order of the Phoenix. Students that she had been acquainted with since first and second year avoided her in the hallways. Lively conversations fainted abruptly when she passed by. To make things worse, her very best friends still ignored her. At least Dorcas threw an apologetic glance her way when Dorcas and Marlene sat in the back of the class with the Marauders, instead of in their usual seats by the window. Being an outcast was simply miserable.

On top of the excruciating ostracising, James had become different, and not just to her. His entire attitude had shifted. He was behaving overly cool and nonchalant towards everyone except for the other Marauders. He didn't participate in class, but disrupted vocally. He skipped Prefect meetings altogether. Lily had expected him to be cold towards her, even somewhat nasty, but she would've never guessed for him to be awful towards everyone else as well. He wasn't just an immature prankster like he had been in sixth year, but he was mean the way he had been leading up to and during their fifth. Just yesterday, he engorgio-ed a spider to the size of a cat, just to scare a bunch of terrified first-year Hufflepuff girls. Lily had almost intervened, but something inside of her just could not get up the courage to discipline him on top of everything that had happened.

"D'you reckon they shag in the locker rooms?"

"Now that would be Potter's style. Such an upgrade to broom closets."

It was the last straw.

"OUT!" Lily bellowed and found herself standing on her two feet.

The group of Ravenclaws scurried away, and Lily could've sworn that she heard something nasty said underneath their breaths as they walked off. She frowned and briefly closed her eyes as she decided to refrain from deducting points. The head girl just didn't have the stomach for it today. Everyone's behaviour towards her was getting out of hand, but she didn't have the desire or energy to reprimand this type of puke-evoking gossip, nor did she want to listen to it any further. For a moment, Lily considered heading towards her head dormitory to continue her studies in front of the cosy fireplace, but decided instead that she just didn't want to be alone again. Contradicting what she kept reminding all the students to avoid, she walked these halls alone all day.

Instead, she made her way to the one person that would still talk to her- perhaps due to the fact that she had lain in a magically-induced coma up until a few days ago.

* * *

"Thrilled to be discharged?" Lily grinned at the curly-haired fifth year.

"You have no idea," Elise beamed back at the head girl, and when she noticed Madam Pomfrey's hardening features, kindly added, "But I'm really going to miss the lovely company!"

Lily laughed lightly, "Well, I'm sure you're still excited to join your friends in your dormitory again. I remember how thrilled I was when I finally got to go back to my own bed after my stint in here beginning of this term."

"Yeah," Elise sighed and pulled her blue Ravenclaw jumper of her curly head, "Also, I kind of want to see Remus dressed in something else than my pyjamas."

Lily smirked and wriggled her eyebrows, "Remus is wearing your pyjamas?"

Elise grabbed her pillow and Lily managed to duck just in time before the Ravenclaw could smack her across the head with the bundle of feathers.

"Stop acting thick, brightest-witch-of-her-year," Elise imitated Professor Slughorn, but giggled all the same, "but seriously, I've only noticed how dull this place is since Moony was discharged yesterday."

"Oh, we're calling him _Moony_ already, are we?" Lily giggled suggestively and immediately started up James' old nursery rhyme, "All the birds are loony for Moony cuz he's got eyes oh-so _swoony_! GAH! Stop throwing school property at me! And here I was under the impression that you just got out of a relationship? You've been quite efficient in here!"

Elise giggled as her head finally popped out from the top of the jumper, "Well, to be honest, I was completely out of it after the breakup- heh, well in addition to actually being out of it after the whole attack shindig – and, well, at first I thought I could never find anyone else even remotely interesting ever again! But then that jerk-face didn't even come visit me _once_ for the entire time that I was stuck in this bed."

"Whoa," Lily yelped, "The next time I see him, he better watch out for the Detention Dame!"

Elise raised one eyebrow, "Detention Dame? That's your superhero name?"

Lily sighed, "I have to do better, I know."

"I'll say," Elise grinned, "Anyway, I'm over the scumbag. Remus, however, came by twice since he got discharged."

"Fancy that!" Lily grinned widely, "Looks like your pyjamas do the trick after all."

"Oh, shut up!" Elise laughed and admitted, "He even shared his chocolate frog with me."

"Wow," Lily mockingly gasped, "An entire frog!? No wait- _half_ of an entire frog? Marry me now, Moony!"

Elise rolled her eyes, "Well obviously I don't have the best experience with being spoiled by a bloke. Half of a chocolate frog is quite an upgrade from someone who's not even going to see if I'm okay after I was attacked by black magic and the likes."

"True," Lily nodded.

Who was she to judge, after all? She hadn't even gotten as far as a quarter chocolate frog with anyone. Then again, James would've probably given her every single one of his chocolate frogs if it made her happy...

"Yeah, James brought them by," Elise interrupted her thoughts.

Lily's heart began to pound in her throat and she stuttered, "What? Who?"

"Aren't you listening to me?" Elise nudged her playfully, "James Potter! Fellow head boy? Might have heard of him? He brought Remus a ton of treats from Honeydukes. Blimey, don't ask me where he got them from. There hasn't been a Hogsmeade weekend in ages! Probably that's my fault, eh?"

Lily stared into blank space. Of course, Remus had been in the Hospital Wing after his transformation last week. She hadn't thought about James being in here to visit. She had come in for hours every day to chat with Elise and to try and nudge Remus into conversation. James must've purposefully avoided those times or she would've run into him.

Elise grinned at her, "But he's so cute, right?"

"W-what?" Lily stuttered.

"Remus! I could just drown in his eyes. From what I hear, he's been single for a while - now that's a mystery I'd like to solve. Could you ask him about me next time you're on rounds together? But you know, don't _ask_ ask. Keep keepin' it casual Detention Dame! And find out if he's open to date."

"Erm, sure."

After Lily hugged Elise goodbye, her stomach already protested in deep grumbles and she quickly hopped down the staircases and towards the Great Hall, where supper had started thirty minutes ago. She always felt much lighter after talking and joking with Elise, but every time she stepped out of the Hospital Wing she was reminded of how her old friends didn't let her in anymore. She barely saw them now, as she had her own dormitory and extracurricular activities, but when Marlene avoided her gaze at lunch time and in classes they shared it stung deep. Not only had she lost her chance with the boy she loved, but she couldn't even confide in anyone or pour her heart out.

At least Remus hadn't mentioned anything after she had written the rounds schedule to pair herself with him every single week. He just silently strode alongside her through the dark hallways of the castle, and Lily did her best every week not to break down in front of him while he did his best not to ask or comfort her.

As Lily slipped through the great double doors with her head held low, a commotion at the Slytherin table tore her away from her thoughts. She took a few more steps towards the bustle and recognised a squirming Severus, obviously in deep agony. Lily accelerated her pace. She pushed a few onlookers aside and broke through the crowd. Colour rose to her cheeks.

Someone had hexed Severus' hair to lather, rinse and repeat itself over and over again with a never-ending supply of pink bubbly soap. Severus shot blind stinging curses into the crowd, while the onlookers easily deflected the spells and sneered. When Lily tore away her gaze from the fuming Snape to the gawking crowd, her daunting theory of the identity of the culprit confirmed itself. Black and Potter were amidst the horde, James' features wild and his wand held high.

Lily's heart pounded. A wild debate leapt through her head. Should she just leave the situation be? Lily decided for herself that she couldn't keep quiet any longer. She was made head girl after all, and he left her no choice. Lily leapt towards him, and when she shoved him hard in the side, the spell broke.

"OI!" the head boy yelped in surprise. When he saw that it was Lily who had toppled him, his gaze hardened.

Snape frantically panted and scraped the remaining shampoo from his scalp and dumped it on the floor in splashes of pink.

"Be sure to save that somewhere, Snivellus," James sneered at him loudly, "and remember- shower _every_ single day and wash your hair _at least_ twice a week."

The surrounding students jeered, while only a few Slytherins came to Snape's defence and booed at James. None of the dared to come up against him though.

"Cut it out!" Lily snapped at the taller Gryffindor in front of her, her heart pounding and her own wand now pointed at James nose, which was still faintly bruised from the devastating Quidditch match.

"Back to save Snivelly's day then, Evans?" he quietly growled at her, and Lily noticed that it was the first time he had looked her in the eyes since that night, "old habits die hard, oi?"

The soapy Severus immediately piped up, "I don't need-"

"Bugger off and smell the mountain mist, _Snivelly_!" Black cackled and shot a stinging curse in Snape's general direction, which the Slytherin easily countered.

Lily opened her mouth to throw something spiteful at James' head, but a familiar strained voice interrupted the scene and her oncoming insult instead.

"MR. POTTER!" Professor McGonagall bellowed, and the crowd scurried away into all directions at her approach, "I am _shocked_ that you would attack another student! You are this school's head boy! The nerve-"

"Disappointed again, Minnie?" James interrupted the Gryffindor head of house with a sneer, wearing an odd grimace that Lily didn't quite recognise.

"Tell me, are you more disappointed in me now than after the game?" James inquired aloofly, "I'd really like to create a chart- a Minnie-Metre if you will. For future reference, you see?"

Black snorted. Lily bit her lip. McGonagall fumed.

"Detention, Potter," the professor barked at her pupil, her mouth in an obscenely thin line, "You as well, Black!"

"Oi!" Sirius yelped in protest, but quickly retreated at McGonagall's warning glare. James only smirked at the Transfiguration professor, quite unimpressed.

"So since I'm head boy and everything," James mused, running a hand through his tousled hair, "Do I just watch myself clean trophies or do I have slimy Slytherin prefects do it for me?"

Lily's chin dropped. Even Black seemed uncertain in the face of James' utter disrespect for their Head of House. Professor McGonagall shook her head in stunned silence.

"What on Earth has gotten into you, Potter?" the professor finally muttered, and Lily could've sworn that behind the professor's stern eyes lay the same disbelief that she herself felt with the boy they all had such high hopes for.

* * *

Monday morning at breakfast, the howler arrived. Lily, along with half the student body, closely followed the massive Eurasian eagle owl drop the scarlet letter into James' toast. The head boy, however, ignored the beloved bird and the hissing letter completely while serenely pouring himself a second goblet of pumpkin juice. When the letter began emitting purple smoke and made fizzing noises, Lily held her breath in nerve-wrecking anticipation. Finally, Remus fished the envelope off James' plate and tore it open for him.

Mrs. Potter's howl silenced the Great Hall.

"JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER – TO THINK YOU COULD DISAPPOINT ME – US – LIKE YOU HAVE DONE! TO THINK YOU ARE A WIZARD OF AGE! THE UTTER IGNORANCE IN YOUR BEHAVIOUR – UNFATHOMNABLE – TO ACT OUT WHEN YOUR FATHER IS IN THE HOSPITAL – HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW WORRIED HE IS? TO INTERRUPT HIS RECOVERY – YOU HAVE REACHED NEW HEIGHTS IN YOUR ARROGANCE, MISTER! DON'T BOTHER COMING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS! YOU ARE A DEFEAT TO OUR VALUES! SIRIUS- OF COURSE YOU ARE STILL INVITED, SWEETHEART, BUT WE'RE QUITE UPSET WITH YOU TOO."

As the 'eavesdropping' crowd of students snickered into their porrdige, Lily swallowed hard. She took a chance and waved at Marlene a few seats down, who looked up at her former best friend in confusion.

Before Marlene had the chance to turn her attention back to her tea, Lily quickly mouthed ' _His dad is in the hospital?'_

The raven-haired beauty stirred her tea as if she hadn't seen her, but finally shrugged in Lily's direction in confirmation. The head girl's heart sank to her knees. When had this happened? How did she not know about James' dad being hurt? Had it happened before the day of the match or after? How could she have been such a bitch to him? No wonder her hated her and everyone around him...

"FRIENDS!"

Lily looked up to find Sirius Black standing on the Gryffindor table, bellowing to the crowd below with his arms spread out like a kind ruler speaking to his people and his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

"...AND FAMILY!"

Out of the corner of her eye, Lily caught how Sirius shot a stinging curse at poor Regulus to the beat of the word _family_.

"NOW THAT DEAR MRS. POTTER HAS ANNOUNCED HER INDIGNITY WITH HER GOLDEN SON-"

A few people chuckled.

"MOONY, PETE AND I HAVE DECIDED TO CHEER HIM UP A BIT!"

The crowd cheered.

"HEREBY, I CORDIALLY INVITE EV-ER-Y SINGLE ONE OF YOU TO... DRUMROLL PLEASE... PRONGSIES' BIRTHDAY PARTY!"

Excited murmurs echoed and bounced from the grand ceiling, filling the Great Hall with a vibrant humming sound.

"SEE YOU ALL AT THE THREE BROOMSTICKS, AFTER SUNDOWN ON HALLOWEEN!"

Lily gritted her teeth. _Bloody fantastic_. Not only did they ignore the explicit cancellation of all Halloween festivities, but they had even managed to invite the entire school to Hogsmeade, when no one was allowed out of their dormitories after supper, let alone into the village. Were they trying to get students in danger on purpose? Would James risk his neck only to spite what she had explicitly forbidden?

Lily pondered this for a millisecond and then came to the conclusion that, yes, it was highly likely. More so, however, they were probably just doing it do piss her off. It was working. Lily couldn't begin to fume about how unfair this all was. She was desperately trying to keep James safe and he was doing everything in his power to get himself cursed or worse despite of her best efforts.

At that moment, Professor McGonagall came pacing down from the teacher's banquet, nostrils flaring and emerald robes billowing, and just when Lily thought she was going to witness the Transfiguration professor knock some sense into their head boy, the professor stopped short in front of the head girl instead.

"Ms. Evans," the Professor said curtly and Lily dropped her porridge spoon in surprise and craned her neck around to face her teacher, "My office, tonight, 7 p.m."

Before Lily could snap out of her stunned expression for long enough to even manage a single nod, McGonagall had continued to storm out of the Great Hall in silent rage. Apparently, the Marauders had taken all the disciplining the professor could give over the past seven years. She had given up. Lily couldn't quite blame her, but wished that someone would finally knock some sense into James. This was getting out of hand- and she had to stop it somehow.

* * *

That evening at 7 pm sharp, Lily stood uncertainly in front of Professor McGonagall's office, vigorously chewed on her lip in search for comfort. Why had the professor asked her to come? Had she done something to upset her? Lily had been so careful not to let any hallways go unpatrolled after both Severus and James had quit the prefect staff. It had been difficult and she was pulling twice her weight, but she had managed nonetheless. Was it something else entirely? Lily breathed in deeply and held up her fist to the door.

 _Knock knock_

"Enter!" Professor McGonagall's muffled voice immediately called to invite the head girl into the office.

Lily pushed the heavy wooden door open. In the comfortable, dim-lit and fire-heated space behind it, Minerva McGonagall sat behind her wooden desk, absentmindedly scanning a few parchments through her spectacles; likely Transfiguration essays, and from the looks of crimson ink on the parchment, not of the stellar kind. The professor's green hat sat on one of the windowsills and McGonagalls's hair, usually pulled back tightly into a knot, flowed over her shoulders. Lily realised then, that she had never seen the professor in her natural element, outside of class or other school-related activities.

"Good evening, Miss Evans," Professor McGonagall said amicably as she met Lily's gaze, gesturing for the student to sit in one of the simple wooden chairs at the opposite side of her desk, "Please."

"Good evening, Professor," Lily mumbled in return and made to sit in the chair, still quite uncertain as to what she was in fact doing here.

The professor sorted the stray parchments on her desk into a neat pile.

"I quickly wanted to address," McGonagall started and coughed before she admitted, "Potter."

Lily swallowed.

"Erm -," she stumbled over her words, "Potter, Professor?"

"Precisely," McGonagall nodded, resting her chin on her crossed fingers.

Lily felt heat rising to her cheeks and tucked a few strands of hair behind her left ear, "What about him, Professor?"

The professor examined her closely, and then pulled something out of her desk drawer, "Have a biscuit, Ms. Evans."

Lily awkwardly took a treat from the tin box and bit into it. She had to admit, it was delicious.

"Potter seems to have," the McGonagall started, and the professor's mouth twitched in search of the right words, "Lost his path as of recent."

"As in, he's back to being a giant prat?" Lily suggested.

"Precisely, Ms. Evans" the professor agreed warmly. Lily gave her a sad smile.

"Ms. Evans, I worry that, with all the progress Potter has made over the years towards becoming a decent, why even an admirable young man, he is quickly losing all that he has gained."

"I couldn't agree more," Lily answered in a sigh, and hastily added, "Professor."

"Ms. Evans, I was hoping that perhaps you would have insight on why that is?" McGonagall inquired, not hinting to how much she knew and Lily felt herself flush again under the roots of her auburn hair.

The head girl swallowed hard, "Um."

To her relief, McGonagall moved on without receiving a more definitive answer from her.

"I had expected the Gryffindor Team to be somewhat thwarted after their loss, but to this extent – I suppose I just hadn't realise quite how close to the edge Potter indeed was this entire time."

Unintentionally, Lily felt herself growing protective of James immediately, "I don't think he was close- Well, I'm sure you've heard about his father-"

"Of course," McGonagall nodded, "We were all truly aghast at the news of Fleamont's injuries, and we can all be relieved that he managed escaped those animals alive... Nevertheless, I just cannot believe that Potter would act out in the face of this shock. Knowing him somewhat, I would rather have expected him to come out stronger from this, pulled together in light of the recent terror. What I have noticed, however, Ms. Evans, is the loss of your friendship with him."

Lily coughed quietly, "You noticed that? Erm, well, actually, you see, erm, Potter and I –"

"Now don't tell me that you haven't become close. You were quite a team for a stretch, pulling together various school events and scheduling prefect meetings. I wouldn't have guessed it myself necessarily, but your partnership was quite a success, until recently of course. Wouldn't you agree?

"Well," Lily murmured, and then quietly admitted, "There was this argument, you see…"

"An argument?"

"To say the least," Lily sighed and nodded.

"Relating to head student activities?"

"Um," Lily swallowed, "Relating to our activities, yes."

"I see," Prof. McGonagall nodded curtly, and Lily wasn't quite sure what the Transfiguration professor made of this, "Well, Ms. Evans, whatever it was, you two best find a way to reconcile. Potter is out of control."

Lily quickly pressed, "I'm not sure that there's much that I can-"

But Professor McGonagall interrupted her, "For one, you will guide detention Friday night."

"Gah!" Lily gurgled petrified and vehemently shook her head, "No, professor. No! I can't."

"Ms. Evans, you may have understood me for asking you question," McGonagall said firmly and Lily's stomach sunk to her knees, "I did not."

"Right," Lily sputtered, "But I really can't do that. He already hates me-"

"If he will listen to anyone, it's you Ms. Evans!" McGonagall urged on, suddenly losing her composure and starting to rant, "He is refusing to participate in class, for heaven's sake! Such a bright young man inhibited by such stupidity! I will not let him fail the Quidditch team, and I will not let him ruin his N.E.W.T's, if it is the last thing I do as a teacher at this school! I would have expected this irrational behaviour from Black, but when Potter showed such promise after being made head boy – after the entire faculty thought Dumbledore and myself to be out of our minds! – To throw it all away! For what!? For what, Ms. Evans?"

Lily was pinned to her chair as she witnessed her professor's emotional speech.

"I-I'm sure Gryffindor will still win the cup, Professor" Lily stammered soothingly at the distraught professor, last year's trophy dipping her concerned lines in gold.

"Not if Potter quits as captain!" McGonagall huffed.

Lily was stunned, "He- he quit?"

"Not yet," the professor muttered, "But he has threatened to. Ms. Evans, I ask you to consider salvaging this situation. If not for you, or me, then try for his sake. I won't be able to look at myself, if Potter throws away his chances at being an auror. Will you?"

Lily's guilt had risen to a giant beach ball pressing on top of her chest.

"I'll try my best, Professor" Lily finally sighed hopelessly, "But I'm not sure that being in charge of his detention will bring any peace."

"I'm not certain it is either, but in the long run, it's better for you to hex him when he acts out, than me."

Lily bit her lip to hide a snicker.

"Besides, there are quite a few individuals joining in detention this week. Ever since Black and Potter have gone back to their infantile ways, the whole school seems to have followed suit."

"Yes, he's always been quite admired," Lily groaned, "I suppose that's part of the problem?"

"Precisely, Ms. Evans," Professor McGonagall agreed, and readjusted her spectacles.

As Lily got up from her wooden chair, she was in deep thought and almost walked right into the office door on her way out.

"Ms. Evans?" Professor McGonagall called her back, and Lily turned around in surprise, suddenly aware of the proximity of the door's wooden structure to her forehead.

"Yes, Professor?" she asked uncertainly.

"While I have told you that I have noticed quite a change in Potter's behaviour, do not think that you have me fooled, Ms. Evans. He may be acting out, but you are acting _in_. I certainly realise that Ms. Wasserman's attack must have had quite an impact on you, seeing as she is a prefect and muggle born, and the awful lettering on the wall – and perhaps Mr. Potter isn't the only one affected by your dispute – but please, Ms. Evans, do not lose yourself in this."

Lily nodded slowly and as she closed the door behind her, she heard McGonagall call out, "And please ensure that this forsaken party is cancelled!"

 _Brilliant_. This was surely going to get her back into the school's graces.

* * *

 _At least they showed up_ , Lily thought to herself, as she scanned the group of eleven students waiting for their detention in the in the entrance hall ten past eight. She herself was late, because she had mussed around with her hair for over an hour, trying to get it to fall in subtle (but seemingly natural) waves, the way she knew James liked. Was it unfair to do so, even though she knew they couldn't be together? Sure. But she was a girl infatuated with a boy, still, and his attention made her world spin out of balance in the best way possible. There you have it!

"Good evening, everyone!" Lily called out, and the group of misfits turned to look down at her.

Did she have to be shorter than every single one of these idiots? _Damnit._

"Are you serving detention as well?" Peter asked her dumbly. Judging from James' nasty look in his direction and Sirius' stomp on his foot, the mousy boy had apparently forgotten that he was not to converse with the head girl under any circumstances. How mature. Lily was pretty sure that Peter hadn't even been issued detention, but was simply present to witness whatever his two idols had in store for tonight.

 _Idiot._ At least Remus had done her a solid and stayed put safe inside the Gryffindor dorm. Come to think of it, he had probably just shook his head at the ludicrous idea of serving a detention he wasn't sentenced to.

"Erm-," Lily eyed Peter, quite annoyed with his presence already, "No, Pete."

She raised her voice and chin again to address the crowd, "Everyone, please listen up! The task for this evening's detention comprises the trimming of overgrowing kelp in the Black Lake! Hagrid has kindly offered to grant us access to the first-year boats-"

"Hold it, Evans," Black interrupted her, obviously having forgotten to ignore her himself, which earned him a juicy foot-crushing stomp from Peter not a second after, "ARGH- You weaselling rat!"

"Right," Lily dismissed him and made to move on.

"Now let's just back this up, Lilykins," Black interrupted her again, ignoring the head girl's decently furrowed eyebrows. "Where is Filch? Or, Hagrid? You can't seriously be leading my bleeding detention!"

"Erm," Lily, taken quite aback, stuttered, "Well, yes actually. I'm head gir-"

Black erupted in maniacal laughter, shutting Lily up for good.

The head girl crossed her arms in front of her chest and took the divergence of Black's laughing fit as an opportunity to quickly glance over to James. The Gryffindor Quidditch captain, however, seemed entirely unfazed by the ongoings and was instead in the midst of throwing parchment wads at a blushing sixth year Ravenclaw.

 _Friggin fantastic._

"Let's just all head outside, shall we?" Lily finally growled through gritted teeth, trying to ignore Sirius' ongoing banter and fits of giggles. The band of students, led by Lily's lit wand, spilled onto Hogwarts' grounds on the oddly temperate October night and dutifully trotted over to Hagrid's hut while talking loudly amongst themselves. Somehow, Lily had not garnered the amount of respect she had hoped for from this crowd.

"Evenin', everyone!" Hagrid bellowed when they came in sight, and beamed at the odd group, as they reached his hut in the moonlight, "Good ter see all of yer. Oi, Potter'n Black, just like ole' times, innit?"

"I had a feeling you missed me," Sirius called out lovingly and skipped over to Fang. Before Lily knew it, Black and the massive hound were licking each other's faces off in the damp evening grass. Hagrid laughed giddily at the sight.

Lily had to swallow her own puke as she witnessed mandog-dog-snogging and rolled her eyes to the star-spangled night sky, "Ready, Hagrid?"

"Wha-?" the giant man barely took his eyes off Black and Fang. Lily cleared her throat in a way that even annoyed herself. Being the boss-lady was _so_ not cool. But when had she ever cared about being cool? She wanted some friggin' respect out of these people! _COUGH_!

"Oh, right!" Hagrid finally noticed the unpleasant look on Lily's face, "C'mon then, off ter the banks."

After they had all reached the tiny boats, in which Lily and James had spent their first evening of her first and final year at Hogwarts in ( _sigh_ ), Lily announced, "Alright, pairs of two!"

Sirius immediately put a lanky arm around James' neck.

"Not in your wildest dreams, Black; you're with me. Fine, Peter, go with Potter if you must."

Peter squealed with joy as James indifferently stuck a cigarette in his mouth and lit with his wand. _Brilliant, if you kill yourself that way, I don't have to be cautious anymore and we can snog under the moonlight until Voldy blows us both up._

Lily rolled her eyes and sighed heavily as Sirius hopped over to James to bum a cigarette, "To our knowledge, the bulk of the kelp is located only about 20 yards off shore. Take your wands to cut using ' _diffindo'_ like this," she made a stabbing and twisting motion, and a patch of grass by her feet was trimmed to an eighth of an inch, "and that should do the trick. Levitate the kelp towards the shore- apparently they're great for feeding- what was it again, Hagrid?"

"You'll find out soon enough," Hagrid responded gleefully and grinned widely as Lily rolled her eyes but smirked nonetheless at the amount of excitement from this big man about a magical species that enjoyed kelp for breakfast. Perhaps, Professor Kettleburn would have them study fire-breathing dung beetles that could only be soothed with fresh kelp come next class. _Hurray_!

"Right, excellent," Lily commented, "If there are any problems, however modest or large while you're on the lake, just shoot red sparks with your wand. Does everyone know how to do that? Excellent. If you've got any belongings that you'd rather not get soaked by lake water in case you go overboard, just leave them here at shore with Hagrid. Oh, and beware of Grindylows! They're especially radical under moonlight. Off you go, everyone! Try not to drown, alright?"

Lily examined the muttering students carefully as they stepped into their respective tiny wooden boats in pairs. After almost everyone was safely in a boat, she walked over to her favourite tree under which the three remaining Gryffindor boys stood and smoked as if nothing bothered them in the world.

Lily groaned to herself. This was going to be just peachy.

"Could you please join the others?" she asked the three of them politely, hugging herself with her arms in the chilly October air.

James skimmed over her with his familiar hazel eyes in disinterest, and to Lily's surprise, he wordlessly did as she asked. Of course not without taking the time to put out his stub on her tree. She gritted her teeth in disapproval as Peter coughed and followed James into the tiny wooden boat.

"What about you?" Lily hissed at Black, "Care to burn a dent into Mother Nature as well, or are you too busy castrating your lungs?"

Sirius raised his eyebrows, "Nah, I can smoke on the water."

"Brilliant," Lily grumbled and stomped off to the only boat left. She sat down on the back bench of the boat and watched with crossed arms as Sirius clambered in. They sat there for a full minute. Lily fumed. Sirius smoked.

"ARE YOU GOING TO ROW OR WHAT!?" Lily finally bellowed at the nonchalant bloke in front of her, who was somewhat beguiled at her outburst.

"Didn't know that I should, Evans! Why don't you row?"

"I-" Lily was dumbstruck, "What?"

"Well, if you want to get out and harvest some bleeding kelp tonight, you better get-a rockin'."

" _I'm_ not the one serving detention."

"As far as I understood it, kelp was part of the deal, rowing was not. Why should I strain my beautiful body? Offer some gender balance, will you?"

"UGH!" was all Lily could respond in her rage, but she started rowing them out. At least Black participated once they had reached the kelp field. Bent over the side of the boat, sleeves shoved up to his elbows as per usual, he quickly had the boat surrounded with freshly cut kelp, which Lily levitated towards the short, muddy beach of the lake. While Black was at work, Lily finally had the chance to gaze over to where James and Peter had parked their boat. It was heaven for Lily- she could blatantly gawk at Potter in her lovestruck trance and get away with it as performing head girl duties. _Score._

"Oi! How about you try and look in my general direction every once in a while, princess?"

Sirius' loud remark whipped the head girl right out of her trance, and Lily cursed herself for being caught.

"I- I'm just," she blubbered frantically and Sirius' eyes turned to slits.

"You're just _what_?" he asked of her innocently enough.

"Just making sure that everyone is doing their work!" Lily responded indignantly and crossed her arms in front of her chest for emphasis, "which you should be getting back to now, Black."

"Seems to me," Sirius continued, ignoring her attempt to distract him completely, "that you're watching awfully closely if my boy is getting his fair share of kelp there, Madam Head Girl."

Lily vigorously shook her head, "No, I'm not!"

"Are too!" Sirius fired back.

"Am not!" Lily whipped back snottily.

"See, I wasn't going to say anything," Sirius spoke rapidly in his low, husky voice, "Wasn't going to get involved! But _you_!"

Lily's mouth opened dumbly at the empty accusation, "Me what, Black?"

Sirius closed his eyes and took a long breath in as if to pace himself, but when he opened his eyes again, it appeared not to have helped.

"You," he growled, his nostrils flaring, "make it impossible for me not to give you a proper beating, Evans!"

"W-what?" Lily stuttered and stood up, as if she would simply walk away from this conversation if it weren't for the fact that she was stuck on this tiny boat, surrounded by ice water, with Sirius, "Why?"

The dark-eyed Gryffindor made to stand as well, and the boat shook warningly as he rounded on her, "Either you want him or you don't, alright Evans? But messing with him like this, shagging him and saying he's not-"

"I did NOT shag him," Lily shrieked, and quickly ducked her head back in when students in neighbouring boats peaked up in interest. Hoarsely whispering she demanded, "Did he tell you that!?"

Sirius ignored her question and instead ranted on, "You know full well that only you and I have the power to mess him up- and, and- you broke him, Evans! You'd only have to look at him! He loved doing all that head boy crap, guiding these idiot prefects around the bloody halls and planning who-knows-what with you in that staff room. It made him happy! I wouldn't've guessed it in a million years, but it did! And now, he's hexing people again and not paying attention in class, and by all means, I can't complain, but he's miserable doing it!"

Lily huffed and threw her long hair over her shoulder, "You're one to talk Black! You did this to him not that long ago! Now I'm a horrible person in your eyes? Oh, please."

"Hey, if you weren't into him, or you know, you truly believed that shagging Prongs-"

"Not shagging!" Lily yelped.

"-would mess up this perfect little image that you've created around here, that's fine. But you're sitting there and drooling all over him now!"

"Not drooling!" Lily exclaimed, her face an invisible bright pink in the silver moonlight.

Sirius scrunched his long black locks in frustration, "Why the bloody hell did you tell him you didn't want him?!"

"That's none of your business, Black," Lily shot back, trying to regain composure.

"You're making it my business!" Sirius countered, rocking the boat in the heat, "You broke my friend!"

Lily rolled her eyes, trying to steady herself on what was soon to be the sinking Titanic if they kept it up, "Shouldn't you be over the moon about this? Finally, you get to pull all the pranks you want to! Wasn't that exactly what you were complaining about for half a century? That he was behaving too well for your taste?"

"He's a creepy, dark version of himself, Evans!" Sirius yelped in defence.

Lily snorted, "What does that even mean, Black?"

Sirius grew frustrated and ranted, "He's the golden boy, Evans! D'you know how much that always pissed me off growing up? Perfect parents, righteous bastard, best friend, even when you're an asshole- James always knew exactly who he was and what he stood for. I was so bloody jealous of that! But it also _saved_ me, Evans. When I nearly killed Snivellus for a laugh, he goes and stops it. Not for me, not for you, but because it was the right thing to do. I don't have that in me- I know Snivellus doesn't have it in him. But James- it's so easy for him to be good. And you just- you just-"

Lily's heart sunk, but she didn't let go, "If he's as good as you say he is, whatever I do shouldn't be affecting that."

"He did get over it, you cow," Sirius exclaimed, "and you dragged him right back to the place of no return!"

"No I didn't!" Lily demanded.

"Then why the bloody hell did you kiss him back!?" Sirius argued.

Lily's heart fluttered and finally she hollered back, "I can't help that I'm in love with him!"

Red sparks flickered in the distance.

Lily's heart went from fluttering to a panicky _thump thump thump_ in her throat. What the hell had happened out there?! She had only missed a few seconds of patrolling! Hadn't she?

"Crap!" Lily muttered and pulled her crimson Gryffindor sweater over her head.

Sirius' eyes grew wide, "Erm, I believe someone's in trouble, Evans. Now is really not the time to show me your goods."

"I have a bathing suit on underneath, you _arsehole_!" Lily screeched at him as she rid herself of her stockings, "And start rowing already, will you?"

Hastily grasping the wooden paddles, Sirius quickly turned their boat around and rowed them towards the area where the sparks had been fired in neat strides, while Lily shed the remainder of her uniform, revealing her infamous golden bathing suit, which she had donned underneath this evening in case of emergency.

"Pettigrew fell in!" a girl in another boat called over to them breathlessly, as they came closer.

"Something grabbed Peter," the Ravenclaw boy sitting next to her, who Lily recognised as one of the students that had pestered her in the library the other day, shouted over nervously, "I-I think it was a ginormous water snake! Potter jumped in after and – and they haven't come back up!"

A water snake!? Amongst all the terrifying things that supposedly inhabited the Black Lake, Lily had never heard or seen any of those. Were the ancient rumours of the Basilisk true after all? Alone the thought of a huge snake living it up in the school's drainage system! The head girl squinted and tried to make out either of the boys underneath the pitch-black surface. Two neat rippling rings traced the uncertain water where the two Gryffindors must have entered the lake.

"Sirius, you stay here and make sure no one else gets hurt," Lily commanded her boat partner.

Before Sirius could complain, Lily tucked her wand between one of her bathing suit straps, took a deep breath of chilled air in mental preparation, and jumped in after them, head first.

The temperature of the lake hit her body like an electrocution. Her head went numb under the icy liquid, but she forced herself to open her eyes into the fluid obscurity nonetheless. Darkness inundated her, but she instantly felt the anticipated erratic movements close by. The head girl swiftly grabbed her narrow wand out from under her bathing suit strap and mutely produced a _lumos_ charm. Five yards to her left through the murky water, the light of her wand traced the heavily struggling figures of Peter and James. Lily promptly forgot about her shivering body - At Peter's feet, three nasty Grindylows pulled the mousy boy down into the deep with their long, spindly fingers. James, above them, was trying pull Peter up and away from the beasts by grabbing him under the arms. Peter, however, in his frenzy, tried to push himself away from everything in spontaneous, erratic movements - including James. They were both obviously not in their element.

 _Stupid courage_ , whipped through Lily's head as she met James's fierce expression with worry, and she dived towards them with ease while simultaneously shooting two stunning charms in the general direction of the water demons. The Grindylows, quite elegant in their technique underwater, evaded her hexes easily. Lily gritted her teeth, as she swam further towards them, wand in hand _. Hah!_ She must've gotten one, as one of Peter's feet made to kick at the beasts, holding on tight to his other. James, blinded by the light of her wand, threw Lily an alarmed expression behind his slipping spectacles. He gestured towards something behind her with a nod of his head, arms still grasping Pettigrew. Lily turned.

In her terror, she was surprised at an odd thought bopping around her head – no, the Black Lake was not home to a Basilisk after all.

In the overriding darkness of the lake, the Giant Squid was a beast. Monstrous grey tentacles that had the strength to pull down unsuspecting ships rose up from the deep. Lily turned back around to James. He was still struggling with Peter, who was pulling him further into the depths of the lake, bubbles signalling a loss of air in both boys. One of Lily's stunning charms just missed the Grindylows and knocked Peter out instead. James, rather than addressing the demonic Grindylows at both Peter and his own feet, turned to the kraken, who now slowly wrapped a tentacle around Lily's waist. Lily looked down at her abdomen, where the familiar tentacle hugged her lovingly like so often before during one of her early morning swims in the lake. James raised his wand arm. Lily's eyes grew wide as she realised what he was up to and she energetically shook her head in the decelerating water, but James did not see or purposefully didn't comply. He sent a series of strong stunning charms against the many massive tentacles of the beast.

As Lily had anticipated, the kraken did not savour the attack. The Giant Squid suddenly let go of his tender hold on the prized girl in the golden bathing suit and went for his attacker instead. Lily swam as quickly as she could into the deep, shot another two stunning charms at the Grindylows at Peter's right foot, hit her targets, and dragged the limp but free boy upwards in neat strides. He was even heavier than he looked and Lily had to use the entire strength in her legs to push them both up through the hindering liquid. When she broke through the surface, Sirius already held his arms out to them and pulled Peter up.

"Where's Prongs!?" the Gryffindor roared frantically.

Lily didn't answer but gasped for a big chunk of air and dove back down, her wand between her teeth.

When she was underwater again, she witnessed the Giant Squid wrapping a fat tentacle around James' torso, squeezing tightly. Lily's heart leapt in terror as she realised that James' limp body was in the best case scenario a sign that he had grown unconscious through lack of oxygen. His spectacles were lost in the lake and his hair rippled in the green water in an unnaturally smooth manner. One of the squid's slimmer tentacles was in the motion of prying James' wand out of his limp fingers. Lily swam towards the squid, her heart in panic. She shot a stream of white hot water aimed at the part of tentacle a foot away from James, and the Giant Squid immediately loosened his grip on the head boy and his wand as the burning fluid hit. The slim, defenseless stick slowly sank to the bottom of the lake. But Lily had no time to worry about that now. She vaulted towards the drowning boy and grabbed his chest from behind just in time, pushed herself off of one of the fat tentacles and towards the shining surface.

When they made it to the shore, Lily's body shook with exhaustion as she watched James coughed up half the lake on all fours. She lay back on the grass and closed her eyes. In the distance, she heard students calling out to each other and the sound of paddles in the water signalled to her that the remaining students were making their way to the shore as well. Lily absentmindedly fished a stray water bug out of James's locks, as his coughing shrunk to a wheezing and he lay down beside her.

"Wand," was the first thing he croaked after he regained control over his vocal chords.

"Right," Lily answered immediately, so relieved to hear him speak at all, and held up her own wand with a still shaking arm, " _Accio_ , James Potter's wand!"

She didn't know if the spell would work; she had never practiced it.

"Glasses," the exhausted boy by her side muttered quietly, as he squinted his eyes and slowly took in her features next to him in the grass. In his trance, he slowly became aware of the lifelong fantasy of being in this close proximity to bathing suit-clad Lily had become a reality. His ears turned red as he moved his eyes away from her legs, over her chest and to her face.

She had trouble averting her eyes from his bold ones, but performed the incantation a second time. They lay there, side by side, for a few minutes while gazing at each other, perhaps both somewhat too surprised at the fact that they were both still alive to notice how their noses almost touched.

Lily heard the other students climbing out of their boats, hastily running towards them. She drew away from James and shakily got up, patting some of the lake's slick mud off of her legs. James made to sit as well. His school uniform was soaked, clinging to his frame, and a patch of red spread out, drenching his white shirt, across his shoulder. He had been hurt.

"You need to go to the Hospital Wing, James," Lily urged, as the other students surrounded them, Sirius dragging Wormtail, "You too Peter!"

James' gaze broke contact with hers and he shook his head a little as he got up from the grass, "Not necessary. Look at me! I'm as good as new."

Lily pressed her hands to her hips firmly for emphasis as he towered over her, "No, James, I insist. The Squid could have messed up something in your organs-"

James seemed to have found some of his strength and instantly got cross with her, "I _said_ , no need, Evans. In fact, do me a favour and don't pretend like you sodding care what happens to me, alright?"

Lily swallowed down the insulting remark that came to mind immediately, but felt hurt nonetheless at his comment.

"Should I have let you drown in the bloody lake just so you could keep your pride, Potter?! I don't care if you decide to ignore me for the rest of the school year or not, I'm going to keep saving your neck, no matter if you like it-"

"Save me!?" James shot back at her, "Don't be ridiculous. I had everything under control! If you hadn't felt the need to Ariel the shit out of the situation, I'd likely still have my wand."

Starting in Lily's chest, white-hot rage spread out through her body like fiendfyre. There was no keeping calm now.

"You insufferable git!" she shrieked at his face, after all that she had risked to jump into the lake after him, "You didn't have anything under control! If it weren't for me, Peter would've croaked!"

James laughed at that, making her even more furious, "Wormy was doing brilliantly before you came and had to play the heroine, Evans!"

At that moment, James' belongings popped out of the lake and soared into Lily's hands. It seemed like she had the spell locked down after all.

"Actually, Prongs," Wormtail squeaked in Lily's defence.

"Shut it!" James snapped at him and turned to Lily, motioning to her, "Hand over my wand, Evans."

"Take it back," Lily said calmly, both James' glasses and wand in her left hand, a shiver running through her body.

"Don't be ridiculous, you- you," James shot back, carefully choosing his words as he ran a hand through his damp hair and squinted his despectacled eyes at her to see more clearly. If Lily hadn't been wild with rage, she would've found him awfully cute in his drenched uniform and scrunched nose. Perhaps she did.

"I'm a _what_ now?" Lily inquired, taking the fragile frame of his spectacles in between her slender fingers.

"A bitch," James responded lightly, still being forever cool in front of the crowd.

 _crack_

"What the ACTUAL fuck, Evans!?" James roared, striding towards her as the onlooking students gasped, "You can't just break my shit!"

"I think I just did," Lily said, shrugging her shoulders and quickly stumbled backwards as he came towards her.

She flung the two halves of his spectacles to the side and into the grass, and pointed her own wand at his in her left hand.

"Stay put, Potter," Lily snapped at him, still stumbling backwards, "If you want your wand back in one piece."

"Have you gone mad, woman!?" he growled back, but stopped in his tracks nonetheless.

"Elise was attacked, and you just keep going like it was nothing, Potter!" Lily threw at him, both wands now pointed at his chest. Perhaps this was going to get him to behave and save himself in the midst of it.

James' unintentional frown hinted that he was somewhat startled by this accusation, and Lily knew she had hit the spot. James Potter would never let such an accusation rest lightly. After all, he prided himself with the image of a muggle-loving pureblood.

"You're throwing a party, for Merlin's sake," she spat, "like the biggest git on the planet!"

James grinned at her as he approached a few steps, but there was something mean about his features.

"I'm slightly confused, Evans," James quietly mused, "How does a party have anything to do with the attack on Wasserman, again?"

The truth raced through Lily's head, but her heart wouldn't let her give him the real reason and so she thought of another one, "Well, for starters, it's quite disrespectful!"

"Well, for starters," James said back as he frowned at how absurd her words rung to him, "I'm not going to knock back firewhiskey to honour the attack on her, now am I, Evans?"

"That's not what I said, _Potter_ \- ," Lily huffed and took a few steps back to avoid his gravitating presence, "It's just not right! Halloween was cancelled because of what happened- and- well, and you can't just throw a party on the same day and call it even!"

"Oh, Evans," James serenely grinned at her and took another step towards her, "but I can."

Lily fumed as she stumbled another step backwards and threw her damp hair over her shoulder, "You invited the whole school!"

"Now I'm truly confused. Are you pissed because you felt like you deserved a separate invitation?"

Lily huffed and hollered, "I overheard second years contemplating how to go about slipping out of the castle at night! Do you have any idea what kind of danger you're putting them in?"

"Ah, they'll never find out how anyway," James responded calmly, holding out his hand for her to give him back his wand.

"Pulling pranks and skipping class isn't going to make this better, James!" Lily snapped, pulled the wand away out of his reach and added, "And it isn't going to help your dad either!"

It worked. He dug his hands deep into his pockets, shivering lightly, odd droplets dripping from his unruly hair, running down the tip of his nose and onto the cold grass. He lowered his head, so that their eyes met. Lily drew in a breath. Was he going to kiss her? She knew that she couldn't allow it, even though she had been thinking of nothing else but his lips for the past three weeks.

"Evans," he murmured and Lily raised her chin to meet his gaze, "Do me a favour will you?"

"Huh?" she whispered, quite aware of the onlooking students.

"Put some clothes on," James said pointedly and she turned pink at this comment, "and leave me the _fuck_ alone, will you?"

With that, he strode past her.

Lily could feel her pink cheeks evolving to angry red spots.

"I haven't released you from detention yet!" she hollered after him, to no effect. Sirius, still supporting Peter, sauntered after his best friends, yanking James' wand out of Lily's numb hands as he walked past her. Lily fumed at her powerlessness.

"YOUR BIRTHDAY IS IN MARCH, YOU PRAT!" she bellowed across the lawn.

James didn't seem to hear, or at least he didn't grant her a reaction.

Red sparks shot out of Lily's wand in protest. The head girl instantly groaned to herself as she relived her idiotic remark about the one thing she could be pretty much sure of that James already knew.


	27. It's not your Birthday - Part II

Lily blinked a few times to keep her tears at bay. The picture placed underneath the headline wasn't too graphic, likely in case an unsuspecting child picked up the paper. The writing, however, black on white, painted her worst nightmare nonetheless.

 _MUGGLE FAMILY OF FIVE SUFFERS PUBLIC HANGING IN DARBY – MINISTRY OF MAGIC SUSPECTS DEATH EATERS_

The head girl raised her head and gazed down the Gryffindor table. Through a veil of tears, she saw that most of her housemates were silenced by shock, sorrow and fear at this morning's news story. Only a few scattered students murmured to each other in disgust as they looked over the shoulder of someone who had a Daily Prophet subscription. She couldn't believe it. Darby was only a 45 minute drive away from her parents' house, she selfishly thought. How relieved she was to know that it wasn't them in the picture. How horrible to know that it was anyone at all. Lily couldn't make herself swallow a single bite of toast.

For the remainder of that Friday morning, Lily tried her best to keep herself composed to appear strong for the younger muggle-born students, who looked up at her in fright as they spotted her in the hallways between classes. But, whom was she kidding? All of them were completely powerless against the ensuing war. She knew that she was, anyway. Her chest felt as if encapsulated in an iron lung. She walked the halls like a ghost, dead inside, but too weak to let go. Classes were miserable too; she couldn't concentrate at all and even missed the opportunity to win Gryffindor a few precious house points when Professor McGonagall asked her the difference between animagi and strong transformational hexes. But who the hell could even think of house points anymore? None of this petty crap mattered if the Dark Lord would come to power.

These were the worrying thoughts running through Lily's head as she headed down to the Great Hall for supper with a heavy heart. She was going to try and eat something before going on rounds tonight. As she unenthusiastically chewed on plain potatoes, her rounds-partner Kendrick came over from the Hufflepuff table to cancel on her because of a sudden and severe headache. Lily barely looked up at him as he told her his excuse, but nodded curtly and mumbled something about her understanding. She would just have to go the route alone tonight.

Later in the night, as Lily made her way through the darkened castle, her forehead grew into a deep frown at an unwelcome thought. It had visited her on and off for the past weeks, and even though she tried her best, it couldn't seem to be shaken.

 _Would anyone really miss her if the unthinkable happened to her?_

The head girl shook her head to try and forget what had crept into her mind so many times. She knew it did not do her any favours to dwell on it for too long. Still, when her patrol passed the corridor on the fourth floor and the familiar excited chatter that she used to be so caught up in seeped past the Fat Lady and into the moonlit hallway, Lily couldn't help but feel completely alone. She missed that Gryffindor tower and everyone it held so much it hurt.

 _Maybe it's better this way. Then it won't be too hard on anyone, if something does happen._

Lily lifted her lit wand up to see further along the black corridor. Maybe the loneliness had her going insane, but she could've sworn that she heard other noises mixing in with those from the Gryffindor common room. They came from a broom closet a mere few steps away. Lily scrunched her nose in distaste and closed the gap.

" _Alohomora!"_

The creaking door swung open and out stumbled –

"Kendrik? Dori?" Lily was startled at the sight of mixed limbs.

The couple quickly scrambled to get in an upright position in front of the head girl, who turned pink.

"Erm, sorry!" Lily apologised awkwardly, and quickly turned away to avoid witnessing anything she would regret later. _So much for Kendrick not feeling well._

"No! Lily," Dorcas sniffed, and the redhead was surprised to hear her former friend speak so tenderly.

Lily turned around and realised that the red spots covering Dori's face were not tokens of Kendrick's affection, but from what seemed to be distress. Had she been crying? Snot and runny mascara covered the blonde Gryffindor's pale face.

"Dorcas!" Lily gasped in shock and immediately turned and rounded on Kendrick, "Did he _do_ something?"

"What?" Kendrick coughed, "NO! I was just – we were duelling, and then suddenly she was crying, so I brought her out here and – and she hasn't stopped since!"

Dorcas stormed forward and into Lily's arms. The head girl gingerly put her arms around Dorcas and affectionately patted her blonde locks out of her round face.

"Duelling?" Lily challenged the boy in front of them over Dorcas's shoulder, not taking her watchful frown off him for a second.

"Not in _that_ way, I swear!" the lean Hufflepuff defended himself vocally, "Just as part of the Order, of course. I really don't know _what_ has gotten into her, to be honest!"

 _Order?_

Dorcas wailed loudly into the silent corridor and Lily tried to shush her with soothing strokes down her back.

"Erm," Lily offered, still holding her friend tightly and not certain what to think of the boy in front of her. She would have to deal with him later, she supposed.

"Alright, Kendrick. I'll take it from here. Just head to your dormitory now, please."

"Are you sure?" he inquired, as if he was of any use to anyone right now.

"What the hell do I know?" Lily spat back, annoyed with his unhelpful presence with the wailing Dorcas in her arms.

Kendrick seemed to take this as a satisfactory assurance, gave Dorcas another squeeze on the shoulder and turned to walk back to the Hufflepuff quarters quite speedily. Lily rolled her eyes. These tall burly blokes always turned out to be the least brave when it came to female snot.

After a few more minutes of silent whimpering, Dorcas finally calmed down a bit.

"What in the name of Merlin's left shoelace is going on, Dori?" Lily mumbled into the yellow curls between soft sobs.

" _Hmpf_ ," Dorcas responded and shuttered, "I'm just being a baby, that's all."

Lily smiled into the darkness, "Care to elaborate, you big baby?"

Dorcas chuckled a little into her friend's uniform, before both girls finally managed to disentangle themselves from their tight embrace.

"Come on," Lily took Dorcas' hand in hers, "Walk with me a bit."

The curly-haired Gryffindor sniffed one last time and used the back of her right hand to wipe the remaining tears off her face. Lily noticed that the usually pop pink nail polish was left in a crumble.

"It's just…," Dorcas trailed off, absentmindedly twirling her locks for comfort as they turned a corner, "With everything that's been going on, with Elise and- and this morning in the paper-"

Tears welled up in Dori's eyes, and Lily immediately felt her own tear ducts work at full speed.

"I'm just so worried all the time, you know?" Dorcas mumbled into the silence that was filled only by their voices and echoing steps, "About my dad, Carol and Richie, and- and even _Biffy_ -"

She cut off, as her quivering voice failed her.

Lily responded with a limp smile.

"Ah, I'm sure old Biffy will know exactly how to defend himself against that slimy Death Eater bunch," she joked in an effort to cheer up her friend.

"Oh, you know what I mean!" Dorcas sniffed back.

Lily frowned.

"Oh, don't I?" she quietly responded, quite hurt at the implied accusation of being insensitive, and Dorcas' gaze instantly filled with regret as she noticed her error.

"Oh, I'm such a git! I didn't mean it that way, Lily," she quickly apologised, biting her lip; "You know that, don't you? You've got it even worse than me - y-you must be so terrified all the time!"

"Yup," Lily sighed heavily and crossed her arms in front of her chest as she leaned against one of the cool stone walls of the castle, "All the _friggin_ time, if I'm being honest. The only way I keep from just breaking down crying every day is if I stop thinking about it. And I can't _not_ think about it, you know? So there you go. I'm a complete mess."

Dorcas hugged her friend tightly in response.

"None of them get it," the blonde Gryffindor sighed into Lily's auburn mane, "Marlene, Sirius, J-"

Dorcas' voice faltered at the tentative name.

But Lily's frown gave way to a small smile, "How could they, Dori? You can't be angry with them for not having loved ones in danger, for not _being_ in danger themselves."

Dorcas nodded absentmindedly and brushed a curl out of her eyes, "I know you're right. I do. I just-"

The Gryffindor had trouble finding the right words and pulled at her jumper uncomfortably before she could spit it out.

"I just _miss_ you." Their eyes met. Lily had trouble holding her anger as the blue spotlights begged her to soften.

"Same here," Lily finally muttered, as Dorcas knew full well that it hadn't been Lily who had broken their friendship apart. Not intentionally anyway.

"You know," Dorcas tucked an astray curl behind her ear, "I was completely okay all day, even after that horrible article this morning. I just pushed that all the way to the back of my head. But just now at the Order, you know, practicing stupid _Expelliarmus_ with Kendrick, it just hit me! I can practice disarming someone all I want, but it's going to be _effing_ worthless out in the real world. If You Know Who decides to kill my family, I can perfect all the charms I want and it's going to do no good at all! We're nothing against them. Especially holed up in this castle! Anyway, so I just had to get out of there, and Kendrick followed-"

"Erm," Lily interrupted her friend and swallowed, trying to remain calm as her heart leapt, "Dori?"

"Yes?"

"You just-" Lily felt tiny red spots shoot up across her cheeks, "And Kendrick, earlier-"

"What is it, love?"

" _The Order_?"

"Well, ye-," Dorcas' eyes grew wide and she gasped and quickly shook her head energetically to hide the fact that she couldn't lie to save her life, "NO! Nuh-uh, I mean _no_ , Lily. I was just blabbering, you know how I get, don't listen to me-"

But Lily welcomed the distraction, turned on her heal and stormed off to into the direction of her old common room, Dorcas calling after her to halt. As she whipped around the corner and back into the hallway of the entrance to the Gryffindor Tower, the culprit was already jogging towards her.

"Evans!" Potter yelled warningly at her. Lily furrowed her brows and halted.

"Potter," she growled back. _How the hell did he know that she was on her way beat him to pulp?_

"Listen, err-" he started, the uncertainty in his voice hinting at his fear of Lily's wrath, "I was meaning to speak with you?"

" _Oh_?" Lily's eyes narrowed, and she heard Dorcas skidding to a halt behind her, " _Now_ you want to talk to me?"

Dorcas piped up behind her, "Lily, I didn't-"

"Go to your dorm, Dori," Lily hissed, "It's past bedtime."

"I should go, too" James noticed, and made to turn on his heel and follow Dorcas through the portrait hole.

"Not so fast, Potter," Lily growled and he turned back to face her slowly, as if forced through magic.

Lily felt the anger at Potter's stupid, always-a-hint-of-a-smirk face spread through her like fire.

" _You."_

"Listen, Evans," James backtracked in a serious tone, but the twitching around his mouth showed how little he actually cared, "How about we go back to our dorm, pop open a bottle of firewhiskey and I tell you all about how my dad is hurt, and all the feelings I've been having about it."

Lily's upper body shook with outrage. She fumed at his stupid glasses, which he had sloppily taped together after her outburst at the lake instead of magically fixing them, just to spite her.

"Using your father's attack to trick me into letting you off easy?" she spat at him, "Are you for real right now, Potter?"

"What?" James shrugged, "I'm feeling a burning desire for a heart to heart now, Evans. Naked, if must be."

"Fuck _you_ , Potter," Lily spat back at him. How could she ever have even _liked_ this spawn of evil?

The head boy turned around on his heel in satisfaction and climbed through the portrait hole. Lily went after him.

"If I hadn't found Dorcas on my patrol, I would have never even found out about this!" She roared at his infuriating backside.

"Well, wouldn't that have been an easy solution," James mumbled as he plopped himself down on one of the plush crimson sofas. The common room had speedily emptied upon their arrival and it was only she and Potter dipped in gold by the dying light of the fireplace.

"Have you ever considered that maybe Dorcas was in on it? She almost managed to distract you after all."

Lily's head spun out of focus for a second. Surely, Dorcas would never do such a thing to her? Could she? Lily couldn't think about that now. It was her duty to make sure that the only way Potter ever left the common room was on a stretcher on his way past the Hospital Wing and directly to the morgue.

"Do you know in how much DANGER you are putting – EV-E-RY-ONE- in!?" Lily bellowed at him, throwing the next book in reach (Charms for Beginners – an old favourite) in the general direction of Potter's head.

James deterred the approaching object with a flick of his wand, "Why don't you just hide back in your hole, Evans? You don't want to fight the Dark Lord, that's fine. But please don't stop me while I'm at it."

"And what if someone else gets attacked?!" Lily shrieked into the deserted common room.

James groaned and rubbed his face with his hands, "Don't you bloody get it, Evans? Someone will be attacked."

Lily drew a sharp breath and her eyes grew wide, "W-what? What are you talking about?"

"Listen, Evans," James started as if speaking to a two-year old, "I know it's hard to get into that thick head of yours. But it's obvious. If the Order continues, someone will be attacked."

"Then why would you-"

" _Listen_ to me, Evans," James interrupted her, "If I throw a bloody party, someone will be attacked."

"W-what?"

"If there's not another chord of music played in Hogwarts for the rest of this sodding school year," James started again, "Someone will still be attacked."

Lily was dumbfounded.

"But then why would you-"

"You saw the paper today!" James suddenly roared at her in frustration as he got up from the couch and strode to stand opposite her, "Muggle kids and their parents hung from a tree, for crying out loud! Aren't you _fucking_ outraged yet, Evans!? Nothing that we do or don't do will matter to these bastards! All we can do is fight! All _I_ can do is try to give all of the days I have left- Don't you get it!? _Not_ doing something can't be the answer. And frankly, I can't believe you could stay passive-"

"I'm _not_!" Lily defended herself, "I'm keeping students safe, something you should be doing-"

"And I'm putting them in danger?! Fuck being safe, Evans, and _fuck_ being cautious. I want to threaten the animals that hurt Elise, I want to be a danger to them!"

"Well you're not, if you're putting yourself and others at risk!"

"Watch me, Evans. Seriously, _watch_ us, since that's all you seem to be good at. See if you like the view from your snug castle tower then."

"You had _no_ right to- you, you _deceived_ me!"

"Being a bit dramatic?"

"You have no idea about what you've done!"

"Well, just another day then, isn't it? Since I can't even begin to comprehend all the things you think I'm doing wrong. Quit getting your knickers in a twist, Evans. The Order has continued for the past three weeks without you knowing-"

"THREE weeks!?" Lily screeched in disbelief, throwing her long hair over her shoulder.

He was being so unfair, she was so angry with him, and herself, that all there was left for her to do was, well, blow a good Stinging Jinx at him. And so she did.

Cursing, James drew up his left hand and examined the reddened skin where the incantation had hit him.

"Did you just jinx me, Evans?" he asked incredulously, his eyebrows raised.

"Oh, apologies," Lily muttered and threw her hair over her shoulder for emphasis once again, "I know it must be difficult for you to deal with the unexpected when everyone always does as you say, Potter. _Aguamenti_!"

Three bucket-loads of water drenched James from head to toe, leaving him befuddled and gasping for air.

"You!" he roared, simultaneously angry but perplex at the spiralling redhead opposite him.

" _Expelliarmus_!" Lily shrieked, but this time James was ready. He blocked her spell with a silent flick of his wand.

" _Avis_!" Lily yelped breathlessly, and as soon as the aggressive flock of bright yellow birds burst from her wand, James lifted his wand to perform a row of complicated movements. He transfigured a nearby sofa cushion into a large golden cage, imprisoning the feathery beasts.

Lily didn't let loose. She hurled stinging curses, mean hexes and complicated jinxes at the head boy, and to her delight, he reciprocated. They were caught in a wild dance, ducking behind plush sofas and silently throwing incantations at one another. Their spells grew forceful as they went on. Lily charmed a stack of parchments to wrap James up like a gift, choking him a little as the parchments slapped on tighter around his neck. Slowly moving his wand arm (reminding Lily of an ancient mummy), James drew a giant halfmoon with his heavy arm, gurgling out a roar in the process.

The two cushiest, comfiest plush armchairs next to the glimmering fireplace grew to life. The transfiguration was slow, yet impactful. Lily's eyes widened and she saw her wand hand quiver as the two massive carnivores gave off ear shattering roars. James had produced two scary-ass real-as-fuck lions. Her mind was blank. She didn't know the proper incantation. It dawned on her then, the horrifying thought she had pushed away for a while, that school hadn't prepared her properly.

The animals drew closer and Lily threw everything she knew at them. Stunning and freezing spells bounced right off the prowling beasts.

"Impedimenta!" she shrieked, in the hopes of at least slowing them down, but instead it just angered the animals. The left one roared loudly, as the right one prepared to lunge at her. Lily's heart beat rapidly and she drew in a sharp breath, throwing a pleading glance at James who eyed her through the piling up parchment with – was that fierce look in his eyes hatred or anticipation?

"Think, Evans, think!" he gasped out from his choking bind. Lily thought how cute he looked all wrapped up, momentarily taking her back to that night in the prefect staff room.

The lion leapt.

" _Expecto Patronum_!" Lily bellowed. The strong doe leapt from her wand, smashing against the larger animal, and hurling it across the common room despite its disadvantage in size. Lily yelped up in triumph as she sent the badass doe towards the other monstrous lion with a flick of her wand. She was a superstar. In her glory, she high-fived James' tightly wrapped-up wand hand. He stared at the doe in confusion.

"MS. EVANS!" a stern voice suddenly snapped Lily out of her victorious jubilee. Lily realised that in her excitement she must have missed the creaking swing of the opening portrait hole, and thus the entrance of Professor McGonagall.

" _Mr. Potter_!?" the bespectacled professor asked incredulously at the still growing pile of parchment from which Potter's glasses peaked out. Both students lowered their wands, and both the doe and the lions disappeared. More to say, instead of two lions, two cushy armchairs were located at awkward places in the common room.

"Yes, professor?" James' muffled timber responded sincerely at the Professor's outcry, as if everything was all right in the world. Lily tried her best to contain herself, but a single giggle erupted from her chest. A stern glance from McGonagall halted any further articulation of joy. For some reason, hexing the hell out of James Potter had been the best time she had had in weeks. Judging from Potter's gleeful expression, he felt similarly.

"Both of you," McGonagall commented dryly, "With me, _now_."

Lily quickly withdrew the hex on Potter. After he patted the last remaining pieces of parchment off himself, they stepped out of the portrait hole after McGonagall, trying their best to don a guilty expression.

Their footsteps echoed in the dark, empty corridors. Lily caught James' eye once or twice in the light of the moon and Professor McGonagall's wand. She couldn't help but reciprocate the smirk that she thought she recognised sprawled across his chin. The mountain of parchment had done a cute number on his mop of hair too.

"I won," she silently mouthed at him behind McGonagall's back.

Now he was definitely grinning. He pointed at a hardly noticeable mark on his elbow, where his school shirt had ripped.

"Yeah, those paper cuts almost did me in," he whispered back and Lily snorted into her hair.

After they had passed a few more corridors in giggly silence, Lily was quite surprised to find McGonagall halt in front of Dumbeldore's office.

"Professor," the head girl immediately stuttered, pleading with her head of house, "I realise that we, erm, that _I_ made a mistake in attacking Potter, but I don't see why we can't keep this as head of house business! I really don't see any need to bother the headmaster at this time of night with such-"

"My dear Ms. Evans," Professor McGonagall said in an anything but sweet tone, "When I find both head students duelling each other in the dead of night in a dormitory that isn't theirs, I believe there is every reason to bother the headmaster. But I thank you in your confidence in my position."

Lily bit her lip and turned bright red. Potter's face exuded pure joy at the staking of the straight-O-student. Lily shoved him in the side.

"Fizzing Fizzbees," McGonagall muttered, slightly annoyed. The gargoyle jumped aside hastily and the party of three made their way up to the winding staircase. After a single knock from McGonagall's bony hand, Albus Dumbledore himself bid them inside.

"Ah, Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans. Please, have a seat," he greeted them with a knowing smile from behind his desk, as if he had been expecting them at this hour all along, "Some would say that before attending an important hearing at the Wizengamot one would need a full night's sleep, but I personally like to jump at the chance of rebellion. We can sleep on the apparition there after all, isn't that right, Professor?"

Professor McGonagall's mouth twitched as she transfigured a potted plant into a third chair, and the three made to sit. Lily and James sat at either side of their head of house.

"Professor," McGonagall started her report, "Alerted by the Nearly-Headless Nick, I made to see what the ruckus in the Gryffindor Tower was. It quickly became clear that Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans were amidst a duelling match."

"A duel?" the headmaster inquired, his electric eyes alert as he twirled the end of his white beard around his left index finger.

Lily mourned the death of her education. She was going to be expelled. And it wasn't like she had always expected – that Potter was going to get her into some kind of trouble that she was never really a part of that got them both kicked out. Instead, it was going to be she who dragged him down with her.

"Precisely," McGonagall nodded, "From what I have witnessed, both students have attacked each other with an array of incantations, including a Leonidis spell, countered by a Patronus charm-"

"Marvellous!" Dumbledore gushed and McGonagall nodded curtly, "I would have never guessed the two spells to pair up! Quite ahead of your peers as always. Much like I was! But this isn't the time to toot my own horn, is it?"

"Err-," James put into words what Lily was thinking. Had someone swapped Halloween for April Fools?

"Mr. Potter, I was under the impression that the Order of the Phoenix had been cancelled?" Professor Dumbledore inquired, examining the head boy and girl intently down the bridge of his nose. All of the sudden, Lily was reminded of what James had done, why she had been so angry with him in the first place, and that he was putting himself in danger over and over again despite her best efforts.

"This," James explained and motioned to Lily sitting to McGonagall's left, "wasn't part of the Order. But yeah, we've kept it going."

"We have not!" Lily huffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Right, well, despite your best efforts, Evans, _I've_ kept it going then."

"That is completely unacceptable!" Lily hissed haughtily, when neither the headmaster nor his deputy added to such avail, "You could've gotten yourself and others hurt, Potter, or killed!"

"Killed?" James countered, "By a few stammering fourth years trying out a summoning charm? Really, Evans, what would I do without your warnings? Probably just choke on toast and have it over with."

Dumbledore chuckled and Lily's mouth fell open.

"You're unbelievable," Lily spat back, but Dumbledore held up a narrow-fingered hand and she held her tongue.

"Thank you, Ms. Evans," the headmaster said kindly.

"He's throwing a party at the Three Broomsticks tomorrow night, for crying out loud!" Lily yelped in the hopes of a response from authority and James shot her a vicious look.

"Please, Ms. Evans," Dumbledore expressed patiently, "do leave the disciplining of Mr. Potter to me."

Lily nodded, relieved that someone besides her was going to get back into his or her right mind.

"I really wish we could make it, Mr. Potter, but I'm afraid Professor McGonagall and I are travelling to the Ministry at the crack of dawn. Duty always calls during the best parties, doesn't it? Now, moving on," Professor Dumbledore said delighted, and Lily's mouth fell open a bit. Discipline time was apparently over already? Wasn't anyone going to tell Potter that he was being a complete arse? She closed her eyes in annoyance, but quickly threw them open again as Dumbledore started to lay out his proposition.

* * *

James met Lily's flabbergasted expression for a brief moment before looking away at the stone gargoyle that resealed the entrance to Dumbledore's office in surprising elegance.

The head boy coughed quietly and dug his hands deep into his pockets.

Lily stared at him in disbelief.

"So...," James began, trailing off as he couldn't come up with anything good to say, "Hang tight, Evans."

When he turned around Lily caught his sleeve.

"Potter," she croaked. His eyebrows rose as he glanced over his shoulder.

"Yeah?"

"Dumbledore is batshit crazy."

James laughed and turned to face her, "Just figuring that out, Evans? Blimey, you are slower than I thought."

"He wants us to join the army," Lily insisted, wide-eyed and pale at the prospect.

"Well, I suppose you could say that," James offered and scratched his chin, "But he wants us to join the good side after all, right?"

"But-," Lily stammered her way through to him, "W-what the hell happened?"

"Well, if you ask me, our little stunt in the Gryffindor common room sufficed as an audition, Evans."

"No, I mean...," she trailed off, blinking.

"Yeah?"

"Nothing," Lily said quickly and James raised an eyebrow at her, "Really, it's nothing! I just meant- well, I meant - how the hell did we get here?"

"Err, try and be a bit more precise Lils? I suck at Occlumency."

"It's Legili- nevermind. I meant, you know, we were just kids a second ago!"

"Yeah," James nodded and responded her gaze, "I suppose we were, Evans. But I guess that's how things go when the world's at war. You grow up."

Lily dove deep into his hazel eyes as she came to realise more and more the man that he had become.

"James?"

"Huh?" He took an unconscious step away from her as he heard her say his first name.

"Do you think- well, do you –," she stumbled through the maze of words she was desperate to find and took a step forward to close the gap he had made, "do you want to come back to the head dorm with me?"

Lily could feel his eyes on her, just for a second, like they used to be.

He held his right hand to his chest as if to check if his pulse and his breathing were complying. He looked out the window, over to the Quidditch pitch where the sun was already rising and dipping Hogwarts grounds into a glowing, orange light, fitting for today's date.

"Evans," he finally groaned her name and sighed deeply, "I'll see you at the prefects meeting next week, yeah?"

The tone in his voice spoke sincere and Lily knew he wasn't saying anything to be mean. He was just being honest. Lily was envious of this trait. The head girl nodded and gave him a limp smile as he walked away in a slow stride. She smiled and smiled, even after the echo of his footsteps had faded, after the sun had almost come up completely behind the Forbidden Forrest, all in the hopes that it would cancel out the one treacherous tear slipping down her cheek. For some reason, an offering of peace between James and her made her feel sick to her stomach. She had gotten exactly what she wanted. Only now did she realise her mistake. _She_ wanted everything.

Behind her, the gargoyle sprung into motion once again, likely to make way for Dumbledore and McGonagall heading to the Ministry of Magic. She quickly wiped her cheek and ducked behind a tapestry that she knew to hide a secret passage that led to the prefect's bathroom. As she walked the tight corridor, her elbows touching wall on either side, she could make out voices. They became louder and clearer as she approached through the darkness, and perhaps she was imagining things, but she thought she knew one of the voices quite well. She cast a dampening spell to muffle the echo of her footsteps. Now, she was only a few feet away of the hushed voices.

"We should act tonight."

"It's not ideal. Everyone will be at Potter's ridiculous gathering."

"That's precisely why it's ideal. The fourth-floor corridor will be clear so Malfoy can enter through the tunnel without anyone noticing."

"Listen to me, you moron. There will be no one for Malfoy to cruciate. Everyone will be either in Hogsmeade where we can't strike or in their dorm because they're tiny gnomes and their curfew is 7pm. The only ones' left not going to Potter's idiotic party will be Slytherins. D'you think the Dark Lord wants to off his future following to scare the muggle-loving half-breed pack?"

"Well then why don't we make that your task? You can organise some half-wit Gryffindor to torch for Malfoy. I hear you're quite advanced in matters of mind tricks after all. And whatever you asked of Evans has clearly had no effect. So why don't you make yourself useful."

"I've told you, she was under the impression everything was complied with! If she can't control Potter, then what do you expect me to do? Believe me, there's nothing I'd rather do than practice the Cruciatus Curse on that sad excuse for a pure blood prick all day long, but I'm also the first person Dumbledore will suspect. We need to play this right. Evans was a logical move. And anyway, what does it matter if the threat to her had effect? The Dark Lord was going to proceed with the attacks in any case, once we were certain nothing would be traced back to us."

"It matters that if it were up to me, I would have crossed you off the Dark Lord's recruiting list a long time ago."

"Well then I suppose it's a good thing that nothing at all is up to you, isn't it?"

Lily's heart pounded in her chest. When their footsteps finally faded, she dashed out and down to the Great Hall.

* * *

Sirius was the first of the munching Marauders to see her red face pop up.

"Hey Evans, get in line somewhere else. We're not selling tickets, alright?"

James raised his eyebrows at her as she held her side and mused, "Even though I'm sure that that would've been quite lucrative, Pads. Why do you always come up with the best ideas one breakfast too late?"

The head boy gave her an encouraging smile and she tried her best to grin back as if everything was just dandy, even though she had other things on her mind right now than investing in her budding friendship with James Potter.

"Just say the word, Prongsie, and I'll make it a galleon a pop for one minute of-"

"REMUS," Lily interrupted Black, and the Prefect turned around to her wheezing self, quite surprised to see her in this dishevelled state and even more surprised that Prongs had just formed a normal sentence in her general direction.

Lily noticed James squint a bit at the situation. The head girl hadn't come to speak to him after all.

"Remus, I need you to come with me," Lily pleaded.

"Err," Remus responded, glancing over to Sirius and James to make sure that he wasn't breaking bro code.

"PLEASE!" Lily finally yelped in desperation, and Remus hopped up from the bench in response.

"Will you lot handle preparations without me?" he asked into the round of breakfasting Marauders.

"It will be difficult," Peter responded with a pout.

"Near impossible," Sirius agreed, stretching and eyeing the two prefects with interest.

"But we'll manage," James concluded, winking at Lily. The head girl's heart skipped a beat at the way it still made her feel and she cursed herself for it, "See you later?"

"Um," Lily bit her lip, "Yeah, maybe."

"Ladies and gentlemen, we've got a maybe!" Sirius laughed, feigning excitement.

Lily dragged Remus out of the Great Hall.

"Erm," Remus finally spoke up when they had walked up two flights of stairs in determined silence, "Lily, what in the name of Merlin's mother is going on?"

They climbed another two flights until Lily halted suddenly, and Remus ran into her back. She turned to face him suddenly to catch the prefect of guard and immediately rounded on him, "Where is the secret fourth-floor passageway that leads in and out of Hogwarts!?"

"Oh, Lily, I- I can't," Remus began to stammer, his eyes widening as if this was a test he had trained for for years.

"You can and you will!" Lily urged, flames behind her emerald eyes, "Sirius would never tell me, I don't trust Peter and – and Ja- I – YOU HAVE TO HELP ME, REMUS!"

"Erm," Remus swallowed, starting to look sickly, "W-Why?"

"I can't tell you that," Lily said quickly, but convincingly.

"Okay," Remus nodded and thought this over for a second, "Then- Bye!"

Lily grabbed his sleeve before he could walk off, "Alright, alright! But need to promise me not to tell anyone. _Especially_ not your friends."

"Aren't I just the luckiest for you to confide in me? I love strings attached to the favours I'm doing you!" Remus rolled his eyes, but his gaze softened as he recognised how distraught the head girl was, "Alright, what the hell is going on, Lily?"

"Okay okay," Lily drew in sharply, "So you promise not to tell, right? Okay, good. So, remember how I found that parchment in Elise' hand after she was attacked?"

"Riiight," Remus nodded, "The one with the crazy requests?"

"Yes," Lily responded curtly, "What I haven't told anyone- and I'm only telling you now because you've unkindly forced my hand and I need you for this task, and- Oh alright, alright! So it said that if I don't accomplish the nutty requests, that um, well, erm, James will – err – die."

"It-," Remus squinted his eyes as he listened to her, and then his mouth fell open, "It – WHAT!?"

"Yes," Lily nodded nervously, stepping from one foot to the other.

"Die _how_?"

"Well, Moony, I would take a wild guess here and assume murder," Lily rolled her eyes at the prefect, "Is this really what's on your mind here?"

"No, I just meant- _Who_ the hell? And why are you telling me this only now!? Does Dumbledore know?"

"No," Lily shook her head, "No one knows. And as to whom- that's why I need your help. I just overheard two, erm, _individuals_ talk about another attack planned for _tonight_ and that they were going to use the _fourth-floor_ corridor entrance way to the castle. Thus _attacking_ or even _murdering_ innocent students. So, your help would be of _great value_ here, you see?" She emphasised the details in the hopes to make Remus comprehend all this quicker.

Remus, silent, was white as a sheet.

"We need to cancel the party!" he suddenly cried out.

"No, Remus, listen to me. That's what I've been realising only now," Lily quickly responded, trying to soothe the Gryffindor, "We're safe when we're together! Everyone will be safe at Hogsmeade, or when practicing spells together or whatever. It's when we're alone, that's when they can corner us! But it doesn't matter now. We know how the Death Eaters came into the castle last time, you see? We've got the upper hand!"

"The fourth-floor passageway," Remus slowly repeated, nodding his head in realisation, "What do you want to do with this information? Wait for Death Eaters to show up and fight them? Tell Dumbledore, for Merlin's sake woman!"

"Dumbledore is _gone_ ," Lily expressed in a groan, "Don't you see? That's why they're attacking tonight! I'm going to tell Dumbledore everything when he gets back, be sure of it. But we need to take care of the passageway _now_."

"Okay," Remus nodded, "So… how do you suppose we can block an entire passage? I hope you're not expecting me to sit there all night and defend it by myself!"

"We're going to bomb it," Lily cut him off, determined.

"Wha- _What?_ "

"Got a better idea?"

Remus raised a blonde eyebrow, "Well, no-"

"Then let's go!"

She pushed him up two more flights of stairs. Finally, Remus caved and showed Lily the way. Lily's heart ached as they blasted the beautiful, ancient corridor to ruins by crying _Bombardier!_ for what felt like two-hundred times until the ceiling collapsed. She was glad that she had asked Remus to help her. Certain other Marauders would have found the idea of destroying a part of magic history quite unappealing. Come to think of it, they would have probably done something stupid like actually stand there all night and try to duel with Death Eaters. As a final measure, Lily cast all the protective spells she knew towards the massive pile of rubble. Even a pixie would have trouble wedging itself through the barricade.

As they stood there in front of the new stonewall, heavily breathing from the effort, Remus asked, "So… how do you know they don't know another way in?"

"Well," Lily rubbed her glistening forehead with her blouse sleeve, "They did say they were going to enter through 'the only passageway' in. And even I know that this is not the only way into Hogwarts, as uncomfortable as that makes me feel."

"Alright, so there's an 85 percent chance that they don't have a backup plan or passageway to torch us all after all?"

"Precisely, Moony, precisely."

"Brilliant!"

"Hey, do you want me to get the rest of your gang and we can blow all the other passageways you lot know up as well?"

"Right," Remus grinned, "I suppose that proposal wouldn't be met with a ton of enthusiasm. Erm… Lily?"

"Yes, Remus?"

"I know we're good friends," he started and Lily frowned at this comment. "Don't get me wrong! I'm glad you came to me today. But… Wouldn't this have been a job for Prongs? My knowledge of the passageway is only second-hand after all. And I'm sure he'd like to know what that parchment actually said. Probably a one-way-ticket to everyone laying off you, if you ask me."

"Yeah," Lily sighed, and turned to meet Remus' grey gaze, "But I can't make myself tell him. After what I put him through?"

"You did it because you thought it would save him. No one could be mad about that."

"Maybe," Lily bit her lip, "But he was right."

"About what?"

"That there is no reason big enough to stop fighting. Even if it means risking everything. I was such a coward. He would never have given up like I did."

"You didn't give up, Lily, you thought you were keeping him alive by refraining from action," Remus said, hugging her tightly, "Not everyone reacts loudly, but they can still be strong. There is nothing he wouldn't do for you. For us. But I can't imagine how difficult it must have been for you to stay still, even if it meant losing, well, everyone. That was equally brave as reacting in a large way – and James could never have done that."

"Yeah," Lily sniffed, "He would have done something great and brave."

"Maybe," Remus squeezed her shoulder, "But I'm also afraid that that side of his is going to get him killed."

Lily's chest filled with terror at the thought of losing James and her head and heart finally shared a single agreement.

"Hey Remus?"

"What's up, buttercup?"

"Do you… do you think it's too late now?"

Remus chuckled and wrapped an arm around her shoulder as they walked back into the lit hallways of the castle, "What an odd thought to have, Lilykins. We're living in dark war times after all! If it were me, I'd choose to be dumb and happy over being murdered with my pride in tact any day of the week. Except for full moon. I tend have a pretty uncool state of mind on those days."

* * *

Lily stared at the blank ceiling of her canopy, chewing on the inside of her cheek. He had invited the whole school, and he hadn't gone through the trouble to explicitly disinvite her. Hadn't he even hinted at seeing her there earlier? But still, Lily was sure she wasn't exactly welcome. His words of the night before rung in her ears. Was she really that naïve? Did she truly believe that Voldemort would be defeated by the time she graduated and that she could start some brand new job and rent out a posh apartment in London? Lily's fifth year dreams seemed so silly to her now. But she knew that James had made her see the truth in the last 24 hours. If they couldn't count on having their whole lives in front of them, then what was the point? She thought of how brave James had reacted when Dumbledore had proposed his nutty plan.

" _Where can I sign?"_

Dumbledore had had a sparkle in his piercing blue eyes at the young man's enthusiasm. Lily had only sat there in silence, until Dumbledore peered directly at her through his half moon-shaped spectacles.

" _I- um, I'd have to think about it, professor."_

He had nodded kindly and told her to take all the time she needed, but that she was a gifted witch and an even better leader. Lily had only blushed and thanked him.

As Lily thought all this over, she knew how idiotic it had been of her not to agree immediately. Was she going to hide in the Caribbean until the war was over while James fought for what was right until he died? Never. She would tell Dumbledore her final answer as soon as he got back from the Ministry. If he was building up an army to take down the Dark Lord, she was going to be right there beside him.

As she considered and reconsidered combing her hair to make herself look presentable for a non-birthday party, she suddenly knew that there was only one thing that could help her now – her girlfriends.

* * *

When she politely knocked at the 7th year Gryffindor dorm room, she could make out loud yelling from the other side of the door. She knocked again, more forceful.

"Black, if that's you again I swear I'm going to torpedo – LILY!"

Dorcas stood behind the opened door, wearing nothing but a bra, a pair of jeans and a big fat grin.

"Erm," Lily grinned back, "I'm sorry. Is this for Black's benefit?"

A lean female stepped out of the bathroom, her hair wrapped in a fluffy orange towel, "Is that Black again?"

When Marlene spotted Lily in the doorframe, her features grew hard.

"Oh. It's you."

Lily drew a sharp breath. She hadn't exactly expected Marlene to be welcoming, but she had hoped that her anger towards her auburn-haired friend would have rung off a little by now.

"Look," Lily started, and noticed that Preena and Gwin had gone into an eavesdropping-esque stoic position while braiding Preena's hair. Lily rolled her eyes, but decided to ignore the unwelcome audience.

"Look, obviously you were right. I broke him, and I was fully aware of what I was doing at the time. But you need to know that I had a good reason to do so. He was in danger, and it was the only way I knew to keep him safe. I know it doesn't make sense right now, and I hope that sometime in the future I can explain everything in detail to you both. But right now, all I know is that I love him. I am completely, idiotically in love with him, and nothing will change that. And I know you're going to say that it's my fault, that I let him go and you're right to an extent, even though I felt that it wasn't my choice at the time. But believe you me, that no matter how angry you are at me, it doesn't even begin to compare to how furious I am with myself, at how stupid I was to think that keeping apart from him would make anything better. Because I'm so much stronger with him! And with you guys as well! And you can keep being angry with me to punish me or whatever but _come on_ , that's just unfair!"

"Excuse me?" Marlene blurted out.

"I mean, I lost him okay? He's gone! And now I'm forever alone pining after that idiot until I'm saggy breasted and my hair turns into a disgusting light orangey-grey colour. Isn't that shitty enough!? Isn't that punishment enough? I don't need to lose you two on top of that to prove a point, do I? This is all shitty enough as is! I motion that you both forgive me and take me to that party to get drunk. Yes, I know, you hate me and everything. But get over it! I need my friends now. Because I'm going to die a crinkly virgin, living in my parents' basement. Hey, if Voldy doesn't kill me before, am I right? I motion that you forgive me and that we'll be friends forever!"

Lily focused in on her friends and noticed that both had grins creeping up across their faces.

"Well, I second the motion," Dorcas' giggled.

Lily smiled.

"Admittedly," Marlene coughed, "It would be a shame to have you crinkle up without having at least one last decent drink."

"For real?" Lily asked hopefully.

"FRIEND ATTACK!" Dorcas shouted at the top of her lungs and pushed Marlene and Lily onto her bed before launching into a ten-minute tickle feast. Preena and Gwin stared at them in confusion as they hurriedly exited the dorm room to make their way to the Three Broomsticks without these nutty housemates of theirs.

After the giggles died down and the three friends were sprawled across Dorcas' bed, limbs over limbs, Marlene suddenly spoke up.

"So, what's this about losing Potter?"

"Yeah," Dorcas chimed in, "I didn't get that part either."

Lily sighed heavily into Marlene's hair.

"Come on you guys, I don't have a chance in hell," Lily muttered.

"Well no," Marlene nodded and patted Lily's head with an awkward angle in her arm, "Not in that skirt anyway."

"Hey!" Lily squealed, and another tickling fight ensued.

* * *

After the three girls awkwardly clambered out of the Honeydukes cellar and made it onto Hogsmeade's main street, Lily had to admit, she felt nothing short of brilliant. They had shared a sizable round of Marlene's secret Firewhiskey stash (stolen from Black, of course), while Marlene was busy fixing Lily's fiery mane into soft waves and Dorcas worked on the head girl's eyeliner. On their way to the secret passageway to Honeydukes they made a pit stop at the Head Student Dormitory and Lily slipped into the black silk dress her mother had bought her at Tuney's wedding dress shopping spree, and stepped into matching heels. The three of them, Marlene in a green tube dress and Dori in flared jeans with a crisp white top and large hoop earings, took a stride down Main Street like they owned the place in their heels.

"Gah!"

Suddenly, Lily saw stars.

"Okay, who's foot is this?" she heard Dori's voice from beyond.

"Help me, I can't see," Lily muttered as she fumbled the smooth bricks beneath her in search of her friends.

"Might be a good idea to get your hair out of your face then, love!" Marlene advised, and Lily did as she was told.

After they had scrambled back up on their feet, they burst into laughter.

"Well," Dori shook her hair out to get rid of any fall leaves that might have taken a liking to her curls, "I'd say that was embarrassing!"

"If no one saw, it didn't happen," Lily swore, and mimicked Dori by brushing out her own waves.

"I think my aching bottom would argue with you there," Marlene snickered.

"Alright, so perhaps we should have chosen less of a heel," Dori admitted, biting her lips.

"Yes, but then how would Lily be able to get into Potters pants if she can't even look him in the eye!"

"I'm NOT short!"

"Funny how that's what you're protesting in that statement," Dori grinned and raised an eyebrow, "Oh the times they are a changin'."

"Oh, shut it," Lily grimaced and took one nimble step at a time, as if a doe on ice.

"Dancing will be a blast," Marlene commented, as she held on to Lily's left arm.

"Just hold on to people," Dori recommended, and slung her arm around Lily's right.

"Well I do, and they call it being too forward," Lily huffed, but let her friends lead her in the direction of the venue, "I just need another shot and I'll be at pro level again in these shoes."

When they approached the Three Broomsticks, they were greeting with wolf-calls and whistles by the smokers standing outside. Dorcas and Lily rolled their eyes while Marlene grinned and winked at a select few.

Out of the group, Kendrick stepped forward and kissed Dorcas on the cheek, "Hey babe, glad you made it."

"Thanks, _babe_ ," Dorcas cooed back, but her icy stare told another story, "How about I go inside, and you can wait to see if I'm too emotional for you today or not."

"Oh, come on-"

"Bugger off!"

Under the laughter of Kendrick's friends, she left him to brood outside as she entered the bar without another head turn.

"Are you coming, _babe_?" Marlene asked Lily and took her best friend's hand to guide her inside. Lily, however, was preoccupied staring at something off to the side.

"Whose car is that?" the red-haired beauty blurted out.

She pointed at the midnight blue Ford Anglia parked outside the Three Broomsticks. In this case 'parked' meant driven into the bins outside the pub, halting half on the street and half on the sidewalk.

"Potter's birthday gift," one of the smoking boys explained and moved to lean against it, "Mad, yeah? Like one of them Rolling Stones!"

Lily stood mouth agape staring at the beautiful car she expected to be pre-owned by James Bond before Potter, until Marlene dragged her inside.

The Three Broomsticks was packed, bursting at the seams with Hogwarts students and, to Lily's utter shock, a few odd staff members. At the end of the bar, Madam Rosmerta was in the middle of pouring Poppy Pomfrey, Hagrid and Madam Hooch bright green liquor into spindly glasses. Giddy students were rosy-cheeked and heavy-tongued under the steady flow of whatever the bright golden punch passed around in large goblets consisted of. At the back of the pub, a large garland read _Happy Birthday Prongs_ and colourful large balloons portrayed the number 17 ½. The crowd was split between students chatting away loudly with their friends and those going nuts on the dancefloor. Lily's heart skipped a beat when she spotted James in a slim-fit black suit, wildly dancing with Sirius to 'Twist and Shout'.

"Lily!" a voice burst out somewhere behind the head girl, and she turned to see the Ravenclaw prefect Greg beaming at her in delight.

"Erm, hey Greg!" Lily shouted over the noisy crowd and buzzing music, "It's quite a riot in here, isn't it?"

Lily caught Marlene's rolling eyes, as the raven-haired Gryffindor motioned to her that she was going to get drinks from the bar.

"James is so awesome!" Greg blurted out giddily and Lily gave him a confused smile.

"Sure, Greg," she agreed, looking around for an escape from this conversation.

As she searched the room, her eyes locked with James', and Greg sputtered, "I love you so much, Lily,"

Reluctantly, Lily tore away her gaze.

"Greg, you're drunk," Lily dismissed the prefect, who proceeded to affectionately caress her left lower arm with his hand.

"Drunk with lurve," he responded in what he must have interpreted as a seductive tone. Lily gagged inside.

"Gregsy!"

A strong arm wrapped around Gregory's shoulder and the prefect looked nauseous as he recognised who it was. He let of Lily's arm.

"P-potter," Gregory sputtered, "H-happy birthday."

Lily didn't know how James had known to save her, but she didn't care and idiotically beamed up at his wonderful features.

"Thanks, Grogs," he yelled at the shorter boy, handing Gregory his cup, "Get me a birthday refill, will you?"

Gregory looked quite unhappy, cup in hand, yet did as he was told and trotted off through the crowd.

Someone knocked into James and he stumbled forward and into Lily. As Lily glimpsed over James' shoulder, she briefly caught eye of Remus passing through.

"Hey," she whispered into James' neck, as she disentangled herself from the head boy.

"Nice of you to make it, Evans," James murmured back in his best husky voice.

Lily took a step back, but was shoved right back into his arms.

"So maybe we just dance?" James offered and slung an arm around her waist.

"Okay," she giggled as she threw her mop of hair over her shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck, "Nice ride outside by the way."

"Yeah, Sirius' uncle Alphie took a bit too much of a liking to the idea of a half-birthday," James explained as they slowly swayed to music that was way too fast for the pace they were moving in.

"I swear, I need to get some friends with cooler uncles," Lily grinned, and they were shoved a bit more from drunk students passing by, "Seems like a ton of people showed up."

"Yes yes, just a few of my closest acquaintances," James grinned back at her and Lily blushed as she struggled to return his gaze, "Did you get taller by magic, Evans?"

"Uh, well, if you count the fact that I even made it to your party alive in these heels magic, then yes, Potter, yes I did."

He pushed her away gently at arm's length, "You _are_ wearing heels, Evans. Fancy that. A miracle you didn't off yourself with your track record of clumsiness."

As his eyes traced her, she was suddenly reminded of how short her dress actually was.

"Hey!" Lily exclaimed, like she had just remembered something important and James' met her gaze again, smiling at her, "I got you a gift, Potter."

She pulled out a tiny wrapped package from her dress pockets.

"Oh yeah?" He took it from her hands, frowning as he looked back and forth between the package and her, "Thanks a bunch, Evans. Um, but I can't really hold on to anything at the moment though, so I'll put it with the others in the back for now." He pointed to a table next to the bathrooms that was stacked and stacked with presents in all shapes and sizes, making hers seem miniscule among the massive crimson boxes, and Lily's heart sunk to her feet.

"But thanks again!" he added kindly.

"Oh," Lily swallowed. She wondered if she had said something wrong. James waved to someone behind her.

"So, have a good time, yeah Evans?" he said before leaving towards a table occupied by the Marauders and the entirety of their female fan club.

Lily gloomily weaved her way back to the bar, where Marlene was brightly waving a shot at her.

"Looked like you were getting all kinds of cosy over there," Dorcas giggled and wriggled her eyebrows as a pouty Lily squeezed between them, "Did he like your gift?"

"I guess I'll know in four to six weeks, when Agnetha delivers the standard Potter thank you card," Lily huffed unhappily.

"Aww," Marlene patted her head lovingly and grinned, "Drink?"

Lily glanced over her shoulder to the Marauders' table. Gwinerva Vane had just sat down on James' lap.

"You know what," Lily huffed, "I think I'm going to head back to the castle."

Before Marlene and Dorcas could protest, she hopped off her barstool and exited the Three Broomsticks into the icy October night, her heels in her hand.

* * *

Lily lay on her bed, fully dressed, and watched the night sprawl and retreat from her canopy. She thought about all the things she might have said to James, to explain why she had pushed him away all this time. But she had missed her chance with him, she had realised that when he had spoken with her. No wonder he couldn't trust her, with all the times she had played him for a fool. She thought about the gift she had given him, which was likely lost in some corner of the Three Broomsticks and which he would probably never open. She had spent hours of the last weeks in the library, trying to fix the watch that she had taken off him when they had spent detention in the lake. When she had finally managed to drain the remaining liquid from the mechanism and reset the lost constellation, she wanted to send it to him anonymously via Hogwarts owl. But then she had kept thinking about the upcoming party and a tiny bit of hope was ignited in her after all this time.

Her stomach grumbled, and the head girl sat up. Her alarm clock read 5:04.

Lily rubbed her eyes. Breakfast wouldn't start for quite some time. But it was officially Sunday after all, and breakfast was all day on Sundays in her opinion. Her thoughts trailed to a tickly pear in a portrait in the school's lower level. The head girl bit her lip. She stroked over her velvet dress as she stood up in her bedroom and slipped into her fluffy white slippers.

Slowly, cautiously, she treaded along the dark corridors of the silent castle, holding her breath every time a pearly white ghost passed a far-off corner. After too many creaking flights of stairs, she finally stood in front of the portrait she desired.

She tickled the inconspicuous yellow fruit gently. It giggled, the sound ringing through the silent castle, and Lily held her breath as the portrait creaked open.

Behind it, the silence of the castle vaporised.

"EVANS!" roared the infamous Sirius Black in greeting as she entered the kitchens.

Lily's head went numb and her heartbeat accelerated. James and Sirius, suit coats off and with their white shirt sleeves pulled up to their elbows, were sitting together at a wooden table to the side, while house elves were scurrying about, catering treats to the two Gryffindor boys. Remus was passed out underneath another table and Peter snored soundly in a pile of their coats.

"Wha-," Lily stammered, feeling herself turning pink and not knowing where to look, "What are you doing here?"

"Well, Lilylove," Sirius explained with a whiskey-laden tongue, "Let me give you the down and dirty. After Rosmerta kicked us out at half past four, we decided to grab a night cap and some pastries to ring out the evening in style! After all, James only turns seventeen once- uh, twice a year. Ain't that right, Prongsie?"

Sirius shoved James into the side, and the head boy erupted in a series of stifled coughs.

"Hi," he finally croaked to her, and Lily noticed the head boy's ears turn a shade of dark red.

"Um, hi," she said back, flushed to the roots as well.

Sirius looked from one to the other, a wide grin spread across his face.

"Brilliant," he commented, rubbing his hands together and stood up, "How about you Evans? A toast to James' birthday?!"

Lily stared at the bottle of fire whiskey that she was certain hadn't been there before, suddenly in Black's hand. He produced three shot glasses out of thin air with his wand.

"Um," Lily got out, "Okay?"

James glanced at her in surprise, and Lily quickly averted her gaze to her hands.

"Look at that, the head students of this great institution uniting over hard liquor," Sirius cackled, passed a filled glass each to James and Lily, and raised his into the air, "To Mrs. Potter's fruitful womb!"

"Uargh," James shuttered at Sirius' words and Lily snorted, before the three Gryffindors downed their respective shot.

After the warmth of the fiery liquid spread through Lily's body, there was more awkward silence. A frustrated Sirius dug his face into his hands.

"Right, right," Sirius murmured, deep in thought, "Evans?"

Lily's green eyes flickered uncertainly around the room, "Yes, Sirius?"

"Butter beer?" Sirius suggested and mumbled something like 'might take the edge off'.

Lily thought this over and nodded curtly. It was still Saturday night after all, right? James continued to stare down at the bottom of his whiskey glass and Lily wondered how drunk he actually was.

"Bonkers!" Sirius declared enthusiastically as he rubbed his hands together and turned around, "One of these house elves is always hooked on that crap. I'll find the lady a bottle!"

He wandered down along to the back of the kitchens and left a panicky Lily and a fidgeting James alone to fend for themselves. Lily's heart pounded in her throat. James' gaze flickered across the room to where Sirius had disappeared, to her and back to his glass. Lily found it quite endearing that the head boy, usually so cool and composed when surrounded by a horde of people, seemed to be losing it in the face of the two of them being alone together. Well, except for snoring Remus and Peter of course. Ambience!

Bravely, Lily stepped forward in her fluffy slippers. She stood in front of James and his eyes grew wide. She reached past his head and grabbed an éclair from the massive tray of pastries behind his back.

"I'm starved," she commented apologetically as she stuffed her mouth with the éclair.

James gazed at her munching away and suddenly croaked, "Thanks for your gift, Evans."

Lily, her mouth full of buttery pudding, felt more heat rise to her cheeks.

"No problem," she sputtered, spraying a little bit of pudding to her feet in a very un-ladylike manner.

James gave her a small lopsided smile. He seemed to be fighting with himself inwardly as he shifted the whiskey glass from one hand to the other. Finally, he looked her in the eye in a way that made Lily's head spin, and said, "Remus told me something tonight. A nutty story about that piece of paper you found in Elise' robes. He was drunk off his arse, so I'm just asking here, if there's any truth to it."

Lily swallowed. _Oh, Remus._ She glanced over at the peaceful silhouette dozing underneath a nearby table.

"M-maybe," she whispered into the echoing kitchen. James leaned back on the table behind him and x-rayed her through his glasses.

"So let me get this straight, Evans," James groaned, "You do a bunch of crazy shit because a stupid piece of parchment says I'm going to croak otherwise. Then, you let me accuse you for it and for being a coward over and over again. And to top it all off, you give me the most thoughtful gift I've ever received, and mind you, this includes a pair of socks that say 'JP superstar', hand knitted by Peter."

Lily pulled at the hem of her dress to hide her embarrassment, balancing the remaining pastry in her other hand.

"And now," James went on, not taking his eyes off of the girl in front of him for a moment, "like the biggest prick on the planet mind you, Evans, you're eating the last existing éclair in all of Hogwarts right in front of me, even though it's my birthday and it rightfully belongs to me?"

Lily grinned at the last part and met his gaze.

"Oh, this éclair?" she coyly asked, holding up what was left of the pastry she had already half-inhaled.

"Precisely the one," James responded, setting down his shot glass on the bench and crossing his arms in front of his chest, "I hope you have a plan to make this up to me. Because doing things to save my neck just isn't going to cut it this time."

Lily grinned from ear to ear.

"Aww, did Prince Potter not get the treat he wanted?" she mockingly sang, "Here, let's share."

Lily proceeded to attack him with the éclair, shoving it into his mouth and chin. James' Quidditch reflexes quickly set in and he grabbed Lily's wrists, pulling her into his lap. Lily giggled and kissed the pudding off his lips. As James hands ran down her back, Lily's grin faded and she kissed him harder, the sweet taste of pudding mixing with the bitter flavour of whiskey and cigarettes as their tongues met longingly. Lily softly moaned to his touch as she ran a hand through James' unruly hair.

"MERLIN!" Sirius yelped and they quickly pulled apart.

Lily stood up from their entanglement and smoothed over her velvet dress as she bit her lip. James looked over his hands in astonishment like he had only just now noticed the fact that they had been attached to his arms this whole time.

"I can't leave you two alone for five minutes!" Sirius muttered sourly as he handed Lily her butter beer, "Here, drink up, beauty queen."

"Calm down, Padfoot," James murmured as he wiped the rest of éclair from his cheek with the back of his hand. Lily sipped from her butterbeer and stared at her fluffy-shoed feet, trying not to grin.

"I will not calm down!" Sirius exclaimed in an unusually high-pitched voice and waved his arms about frantically, "This is all just too confusing for me! Half the time you can't function properly because she _maybe_ smiled at you during Charms class, the other half you say that you're completely over her and want to blow up the castle for fun. I need consistency, mate. I come from a broken home, alright? I can't deal with this crap any longer!"

James got up and shook Sirius a little, "Get a grip, Padfoot! You know well enough that I'm never gonna get over her!"

Lily's cheeks flushed pink and she full-on grinned like an idiot. Sirius cocked his head, focused on her and took notice.

"And what are you smiling about!?" he rounded on her and Lily's grin was wiped from her face, "You can't get your shit together long enough to even admit that you like the bloke!"

"I do too!" Lily defended herself, "Was I supposed to guess that he's still interested? He's had a girlfriend until like two seconds ago after all!"

James snorted loudly, "Yes, and I've had her for two seconds as well, mind you! If I may remind you, we were broken up for quite a stint there."

"Oh yes," Lily said sourly, "Too bad I didn't get my chance with you between girlfriends. The same one, I might add! Truly a shame!"

"D'you think I would've been with her if I could've had you?"

"Oh, aren't you cavalier!?" Lily spat, "Don't stop now, Potter! I know it's impossible for you to _not_ have a backup ready at all times, after all, it would be too much to ask."

"Come on, Evans, you didn't bother even talking to me until last year! Did you need a little bit more of my attention wasted on you? Would that make you feel better?"

"Oh, so now attention on me is wasted?" Lily huffed crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Yes, if you're going to break me for sports, then I think it is!"

"Get over yourself! You know that I had to do that, to make sure your sorry ass doesn't get hexed into oblivion by some death eater!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I supposed to just guess when you despise me for real and when you're actually into me, but pretend to want nothing to do with me to save my neck? Are you out of your mind!?"

"Well, then take a good look, Potter! Cause this is what being with me will be like!"

"Hey, Evans?"

"WHAT!?"

"Want to go out some time?"

"You're infuriating!"

"You're both infuriating!" Sirius yelped, and it was a true miracle that neither Wormtail nor Moony had woken up from the commotion. Then again, a drunken mind sleeps soundly.

"I asked you a simple question, Evans!" James insisted, running a hand through his unruly hair and Lily's mind spun as she wanted to be nothing but that exact hand.

"Yes, fine, I'll go out with you," she said breathlessly, licking her lips.

"You've said that before," James asserted.

"Well, I mean it this time!"

"You're both insane," Sirius commented sourly.

"How can I know for sure?"

"I don't know! It's just- just that I don't want to be all public with my love life at school."

"Great. So you're still embarrassed of being with me."

" _No_! I just- I want the younger students to be able to come to me, to _us_ , with their problems, and not wonder if they're going to bother us on a date or something."

"I'm not going to demand to lie on top of you in the middle of the hallway, Evans!"

"I just need a little structure! That's who I am."

"Well, by Merlin, why didn't you just say that?"

"I'm trying to!"

"Are you done yet!?" Sirius cried, "Evans, don't make James feel like he's garbage when he's trying to be your bloody boyfriend, Prongs, don't try and snog her in front of the whole school. Settled!?"

"Fine."

"Fine by me."

"Excellent," Sirius sighed exhaustedly, before shifting to a mischievous grin, "So what do we do now?"

James winked at Lily and she rolled her eyes, but grinned.

"Does any one of you actually know how to drive that bloody car parked in Hogsmeade?" Lily innocently inquired as she picked up a blueberry scone from the plate of pastries.

"Erm," Sirius declared intelligently.

"Define knowledge," James pondered and gave Lily his irresistible lopsided grin that always made her blush despite of herself.

"Right," Lily giggled and took a bite from the delicious scone. After she swallowed, she added, "So do you want me to teach you?"

James and Sirius exchanged sly glances.

"Can we keep her, Prongsie?"

* * *

 **A/N: So there you have it. Finito. The End.**

 **A BIG THANK YOU to JoPoGirlsKickAss, Magicgirll91, Riles16, Maggiethefangirl and BlushingBelle for the brilliant and consitent reviews that made my days and made me finish this fic. Of course also thank you thank you thank you to everyone else who reviewed, I would not have kept going if it wasn't for the support.**

 **There may or may not be an epilogue coming your way. But no promises! Let me know if you enjoyed this fic and/or favourite if you did! 333**

 **XOXO**


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